"What are you talking about?" Robin says.
I don't answer. I just keep crying.
"Should I leave you alone?" he says, getting up.
I grab his arm so suddenly he flinches. I look at him like a little child. I've stopped crying.
"Please," I whisper. "Don't leave."
He looks at me with a mixture of longing and pity. Not a good combo.
He sits down. I wipe my eyes and attempt to explain.
"My mom told me that one day my father would come for me, and he would do anything to get me. She didn't want that to happen, why, I don't know. She never told me. She said he was after 'my ache.' I don't fully understand what that means, but I know that when I find it, it's the beginning of something terrible."
I look down. "I don't understand how in the short time span of two days, I've lost my mother, lost my home and found my ache."
I get up and go to my CD rack. I pick out my Green Day one and put it on. I go back to the bed and lie down with my eyes closed. I start humming along to American Idiot. I feel the bed shift and a shadow appears in front of my eyes. I open them and I see Robin leaning over me.
"What?"
He gazes at me. "You know, you really are pretty."
I say nothing and it's silent for a while. Then he slowly leans down and kisses me. I wrap my arms around him and he holds me. I suddenly stop and roll away from him.
"Why do you keep stopping?" he asks, sounding pissed off.
"My ache," I say. "It gets stronger when I touch you."
"It can't be that bad."
"It's bad enough that Slade wants me in his possession when I find it."
"But you should be okay because you only just found out it concerned me."
"I'm not worried about me, I can take care of myself."
"And you're saying I can't?"
"No, I know you can. I'm just worried about what he wants with you."
"He wants me as his apprentice."
I look at him. He looks away.
"He endangered my friends' lives, just to get me to work for him."
He leans down and puts his face in his hands.
"I don't understand what he wants with me."
"You're young, you're smart, and you're strong. He wants someone to take over the business."
He looks at me. "How do you know this?"
I hesistate. "He took me one day. Took me to his… home. He told me that when I was close to finding my ache, he would come for me. He said that he would stop at nothing to get me when I find it. He would kill for it. I was seven at the time."
Robin comes closer to me and tries to hold me. I scoot away and he turns around, very upset.
"I don't want you to get hurt, Robin," I explain.
"I'm already hurting," he says, turning around and looking at me in the eye. "Yesterday, I thought you were just this bitchy girl that Raven took in. Today, I feel like I'll die if I don't kiss you again."
I look deep into his eyes. I can see the feelings of love and confusion and hurt. I reach deep into his soul and find a troubled young man who just wants some affection. And someone he can call his own.
I slowly scoot closer to him. I slide next to him and reach for his hand. He watches my motions carefully, reading my body language. I hold his hand in mine and my ache gets stronger. I bow my head and take a deep breath. He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head. He kisses me softly. I kiss him back. My ache becomes almost unbearable, but, at this moment, being held in my Robin's arms, I don't care.
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I wake up in my bed feeling happy. I find this strange because, most mornings, I wake up wanting to die. Then the events of the previous day come flooding back to me and I feel even happier. Finding my ache is a joyous thing, as well as a terrible thing.
I get out of bed and go to the kitchen. No one's up yet. I get out the makings of pancakes and start making it. Ten minutes later, everyone except Raven is awake, waiting in the living room for the pancakes.
"May I be of assistance somewhere?" Star asks.
"You can get out the plates, syrup, anything that the group wants," I say.
She looks overjoyed at being able to help with something. I finish the pancakes and scoop them onto a plate. I go back to my room. I hear footsteps behind me and assume their Robin's. I look behind me and don't see anything. I cock my head and listen.
"Robin, stop following me, I'm going to get changed out of my PJ's," I say.
I don't hear anything and I continue. The footsteps don't start again and I relax.
I reach my room and open the door. I scream.
The next minute, Raven is at my side, as well as the rest of the Titans.
"Oh my god," she breathes.
The room is completely trashed. The bed is flipped over, the desk is over turned. My items are undamaged but I'm not worried about them at the moment. The worst part about all of this is…
"Blood," whispers Starfire.
Blood indeed. Blood is everywhere. On the bed sheets, on the carpet, even in the closet. And in the middle of the room is the body of a wolf.
Behind me, I hear vomiting. I turn and see Beastboy emptying his stomach. Starfire looks as though she's about to do the same. Cyborg goes up to her and gently moves her away. He comes back and picks up Beastboy, once he's stopped vomiting. He walks away.
I slowly walk into the room. I go to the body and kneel.
"Yoki," I say, pronouncing the name Yo-key.
"What?" asks Raven, floating into the room.
"He was a wolf I knew," I say quietly. "We used to roam the city together."
I gently lift the body and hug it. It's cold and stiff. I can't hold it back anymore. I start crying. Then I drop the body, lean to the side and vomit. Raven rubs my back as I keep vomiting.
"Slade."
Raven turns to Robin who's inspecting the blood stain in the middle of the room. He's leaning down and looking at a small design.
"I'll kill him for this."
They both look at me and I stand up.
"I'll kill him."