Chapter Three: Week Three

Saturday 12th November

OK I don't think it is "totally weird" to be worried about NEWTS in November the exams are not that far away – five months isn't a long time when you think about it. Nor do I think that just because I want to study on the occasional Saturday (in my final year mind you) that makes me a "fun-sucker" whatever that's supposed to be. Nor does deciding to take one day to actually do some studying mean that I'm panicking. I am not panicking. Just because I care about my exams, unlike some people. I don't intend to live on my parent's money – my parents can't afford it. Some of us don't come from centuries' old rich pureblood families. Unlike a certain boyfriend (soon to be ex-boyfriend if he keeps up this attitude).

There. Said it. Stupid idiot boy. Fine, he can go play on his broomstick with his idiot friends, see if I care. I have work to do.

Sunday 13th November

OK maybe I was panicking a bit yesterday. And I suppose five months isn't like the NEWTS are next week but I do think that it is probably sensible to do some studying now. Thing is, James doesn't really need to. He just seems to coast. Am I jealous? Probably.

Apparently the boys persuaded Jenny to join them in Quidditch yesterday. James was boasting about how good she was – telling her he wished she'd been here early enough to try out for a chaser position. I kind of felt a bit jealous of that too – oh not of Jenny and James, I know he is crazy about me (crazier than I am about him truthfully) but I've never been able to play Quidditch well. I don't get the sport really, another thing James and I don't have in common.

I'm a bit down today really. Dumbledore spoke to me earlier and told me that I had definitely been targeted two weeks ago; it wasn't just a random attack on a Hogwarts student. I haven't told James. I haven't told anyone. Thing is James is good for the fun times. He is the perfect person to have a laugh with, he keeps everyone amused. But I'm not sure he has ever really been serious in his life.

Tuesday 15th November

Had a really long chat with Jenny today. She told me a bit about Harvey – her kind-of unofficial boyfriend. She says he looks a bit like James but is very different in personality. He sounds really brave and, well, heroic which sounds such a silly and girly thing to say but isn't really. With the latest Death Eater attacks (three muggle-borns were killed yesterday) we need heroes – people who are willing to fight for what is right. A bit like Jenny herself. She doesn't see it that way but its true.

She knows stuff. It's hard to explain but it seems to me she sometimes looks as if she knows too much she doesn't want to know. Remus said she looks at people sometimes as if she thinks they have a terminal illness. That sounds a bit dramatic for Remus and he was sort of joking but he did say it and I sort of know what he means in some way.

She's been flirting with Sirius a bit and I teased her a little about it but it's kind of obvious that, no matter how attractive she thinks he is, no one is going to replace Harvey (although I think both Sirius and Remus would like to sometimes!).

Wednesday 16th November

I'm getting a bit worried about my family. In the paper this morning there was a story about the number of Muggles killed by Death Eaters this year and there were 12 of them who were related to muggle-born witches and wizards. 12. My family are not going to be able to protect themselves if someone comes after them – no Muggle could. I tried to talk to McGonagall about it but when I knocked on her office door she said she was busy and could it wait. I think Jenny was in there.

So I talked to James. He surprised me actually. I thought he'd be all dismissive, sort of "Don't worry about it Lils let's snog" but he wasn't. He was really nice actually. Seems he does have a serious side after all – despite all evidence to the contrary. OK that's unfair. I know he can be serious, I just didn't realise he could be so understanding.

He really did seem to understand. He talked to me about a friend of his father's, J's Godfather actually. He was an Auror and he was murdered last year. I didn't know about that and it made me feel kind of ashamed about some of the things I have been thinking about J. He obviously loved his Godfather and misses him very much. It got me thinking. I wonder if J's joking around is all just a front? If he always acts the fool because he is scared about what is going on.

And he really is a good kisser – or have I mentioned that before?

I saw Jenny later in the common room. She looked as if she had been crying. I hope she's OK, she didn't seem to want to talk about it – in fact she seemed determined to have a good time and was laughing and joking with some of the sixth year boys. Her laughter seemed a bit strained but it was laughter.

Thursday 17th November

More Death Eater attacks in the paper today. It seems like every day there are more incidents. It has gradually taken over as a main topic of conversation at our end of the Gryffindor table. Our end consists of most of the sixth and seventh years, a few of the fifth years and one or two of the younger students. We're a mixed bunch in all, some pure-bloods, some half-bloods and some, like me, Muggle-borns. Except today we found out something a little closer to home was going on.

Snape has been foul recently. Most of his Slytherin friends were older than him and have left now so he has developed a little gang of cronies from the lower forms of which he is the leader. Benjy says they follow him because some of his friends are Death Eaters. I was a bit surprised by that to be honest but I guess that makes sense knowing some of their personalities. Jenny said she wasn't surprised and though she hadn't met any of Snape's friends she knew that many Slytherins had become Death Eaters on leaving school – some because they believed in it, and some simply because it was easier. I was a bit surprised by that but she said that it was just like bullying but on a larger scale – people join in with bullies because it is easier than getting picked on themselves.

It was a really good point and one of the fourth years had been listening to our conversation, then said something that worried us all, simply because it was so close to home. She said she thought Snape's new little gang have been bullying the Muggle-born first and second years quite badly and that she thought it might be developing into a serious problem. When she first said it it was almost a relief – this is a thing we can do something about. We didn't realise that it would be so bad.

Alice said she was going to talk to the younger Gryffindors about it and did I, as Head Girl, want to come along and I said of course and why don't we talk to Berenice and get the Ravenclaws involved? Alice said she knew Charlie Pickering, a Hufflepuff prefect, quite well because they sat together in Herbology and she'd ask him about his lot as well. All in all we managed to round up all the Muggle-born first and second years and most of the others in our three houses. No one suggested, given the topic, inviting any of the Slytherins although I feel a bit guilty about that – after all, they are not all bad, they can't be. So anyway we tried to keep it unofficial by not having all the prefects and by telling James (well, by me telling James anyway) not to come. I think if it had been official we might have found it hard to avoid inviting the Slytherins.

The poor little things seemed quite scared to be called into a meeting with some of the prefects and the Head Girl. But we reassured them they weren't in trouble, and started to try and get them to talk to us. It was hard at first; I think a lot of them were scared about what would happen if they said anything. But once one of them spoke up, they all started to. Every single one of the Muggle-borns has been bullied – most have both been called the M word and hexed at various points. One poor first year boy had been physically or magically attacked seventeen times this term – seventeen! It's only been 10 weeks. He said he had been thinking about not coming back after Christmas but he hated to do it as he thought that was what they wanted. Alice couldn't help it I think, she gave the boy a big hug and told him that he must come back. He was a little embarrassed but I think he quite liked it – he looked like he was trying not to cry actually. I hadn't realised it could possibly be getting so bad – this is Hogwarts! And all of the others had a story to tell about seeing or hearing something.

Snape hasn't been involved himself. As Charlie (who I didn't really know before but I quite like now) pointed out Snape probably wouldn't get his own hands dirty if he could help it. But we have enough evidence against five Slytherin students now to take action. We've told all the younger students that if anything else happens to come to one of us, or to any other prefect in their own houses (or to James of course) and that we would sort it out. That we would all keep an eye out but if we didn't see it, to come to us as soon as they could. After we had reported the stories to McGonagall (her face – she was absolutely fuming and I have no doubt she will take serious action) I went back to the common room and told James. The other three boys were there and all seemed horrified that all this had been going on without our knowing about it. Sirius started to swear revenge on Snape but, as I pointed out, he hadn't done anything personally so there was little we could do. I don't think Sirius was convinced about that to be honest and I wouldn't like to be in Snape's shoes when Sirius does catch up with him. In the end I just told S not to do anything that I would have to get him in trouble for, and to think carefully about who else he was putting at risk.

I think that slowed him down somewhat and he looked at Remus guiltily. I don't know exactly what S did to Snape last year but I do know something happened and that Snape now knows about what J calls R's "furry little problem". I wouldn't trust Snape with any knowledge like that and R is on tenterhooks whenever Snape is near.

Oh God, just thought: Slug Club tomorrow night – I wonder if I can avoid? I really don't think I can face Snape and be civil at the moment.

P.S. I've just had a late night emergency meeting with Dumbledore, the Heads of Houses and J about the bullying of the younger Muggle-born students. To be fair even Slughorn looked appalled at the extent of the problem and ashamed that it was his own house doing the bullying. It looks like they are going to be taking some swift action. J and I said that none of the prefects had had a clue that things were like this but that we would all be keeping an eye out now.

Friday 18th November

Two of the students have been expelled and will only be allowed to come back if they can provide evidence that they truly regret their actions! Hooray! The other three are all in detentions for a month. Slytherin has lost 250 points. Snape is walking around like the rug has been pulled straight out from under him. Hooray again! Slughorn is in a vicious mood and every time one of the Slytherins put a foot out of line today he has practically screamed at them about bringing dishonour to the noble house they are in. He cancelled Slug Club tonight! Hooray again again! I'm going to find James and check out whether he is still as good at kissing as I remember.