Don't Let Go
Author's Notes: This is the second to the last chapter, the final one will be an epilogue of sorts and I'm really looking forward to writing it.
Chapter 18
About three years after Emily was born Peyton woke with an overwhelming feeling of nausea, she knew the feeling immediately. She'd only felt like that once before, she was pregnant.
They had never really talked about having another baby, not seriously anyway. After all the complications that had followed Emily's birth, the doctor had told them that their chances of conceiving again would be slim but not impossible. It appeared that the Scott family had beaten the odds.
She climbed out of the bed and quietly crept into the bathroom where she spent the next several minutes hunched over the porcelain bowl. As she brushed her teeth she heard a gentle knock on the door.
"Peyt, are you okay?" Lucas whispered sleepily through the door.
She told him she was fine with a mouth full of toothpaste, and waited until he shuffled out of the room towards Emily's before she opened the door and sat calmly on the bed. For the first time in a while, Peyton was scared.
The sound of pans clattering together in the kitchen brought her out of her thoughts. She wandered down the hallway that had been filled with family photos. Peyton had always hated the unnatural stiffness of family portraits. She preferred the candid shots like the picture of Emily putting lipstick on her sleeping father or one of Lucas carrying Peyton into the house, a cast visible on her foot after a rainy day mishap. She smiled at the memories and continued towards the kitchen.
As she walked into the kitchen the smiling face of her daughter greeted her. Emily was the spitting image of her parents, with her mother's blonde curls and her father's smile.
"Hi mommy." The young girl smiled.
"Morning angel face." She kissed the top of her daughter's head and sat down next to her at the table.
"Wanna help me color?" Emily held out a bright red crayon from the pile in front of her.
"Sure." Peyton smiled.
Emily had been there miracle baby in more ways than one. Her first few days in the world had been shaky, and after she made a steady recovery the doctors had warned the new parents that many premature babies had a lifetime of health problems. Aside from the occasional cold or ear infection Emily was a perfectly healthy three-year-old. The only lasting effect of her premature entrance into the world was her slightly smaller than most kids her age. Her small stature caused her parents to be slightly more protective of her, but it didn't bother Emily in the least. She had a fiercely charming personality and a gentle soul that made people fall in love with her.
She was daddy's little girl, when she was playing basketball with him in the living room on the small hoop that her Uncle Nathan had given her for Christmas. And she was mommy's little angel when the two girls were holed up in the studio while Peyton worked on a new piece and Emily smeared pastels over a blank canvas.
"Peyton do you want breakfast?" Lucas called from the kitchen while holding up a plate of pancakes.
The thought of food made her stomach turn, so she passed. "I'm not hungry."
"Alright, that just means more for me and Em." Lucas set a plate full of pancakes in front of his daughter, and took the seat next to Peyton.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine, but I think I'm going to try and get into the doctor's today just to be sure."
"Well I'll keep an eye on Emily while you're gone. Maybe we'll go to the park, how does that sound kid?"
Emily nodded, her mouth full of pancakes. Peyton smiled at her and wiped syrup from the corner of her mouth.
"Well I'm going to call the doctor, see if I can get in." She excused herself from the table.
Peyton managed to get an appointment a few hours later. On the drive to her doctor's office she found herself mulling over baby names. Her pregnancy had not been confirmed and she was already deciding between Michael and Hunter for a boy.
As she waited in the cramped waiting room she caught herself wondering which room they could turn into a nursery. Emily had an entire room reserved for her never-ending mound of toys. They'd have to find a place to store them. There was a crib up in the attic, it needed to be cleaned up but it would work. She was sure there was a box of baby clothes stored away too.
The more she sat and thought about everything, the clearer it became that they were ready for another baby. Money was no longer an issue, Lucas had worked his way up to editor of the sports section and Peyton was making good money doing freelance work. Emily was old enough to handle a new sibling.
Minutes later Peyton was called back into the office, her blood was drawn and she was left to wait even longer for her doctor to reappear.
"Sorry for that wait Peyton." The doctor appeared suddenly in the doorway and closed the door behind him. "I went ahead and put a rush on your blood work so you wouldn't have to wait over the weekend to hear the results."
"So what are the results?"
"Well for starters, you're not pregnant."
Peyton felt her face fall and an uneasy feeling creep across her stomach.
"But, that's not everything. Peyton, I'm afraid you can't have anymore children."
"What?"
"There were elevated levels of a few things in your blood work that concern me, I want to run a few more tests just to be sure but I don't want you to get your hopes up."
"How did this happen?" she could barely manage more than a whisper, shock clouded her emotions.
"Judging by the difficulty of your last pregnancy, I'd say this was inevitable. Plus you underwent a severe operation and your reproductive organs suffered a great deal of trauma."
The doctor saw the look of utter devastation on the women's face and remembered why there were times when he hated being a doctor.
"I'm so sorry Peyton, I know you weren't expecting this kind of news and I'm sorry that I have to give it to you."
"It's not your fault." She attempted a smile as she wiped a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek.
"Are you going to be alright driving home?"
"I'm fine. Thanks for everything doctor Cooper" she gathered her purse and headed for the door.
"I'm really sorry Peyton." The doctor called after her.
She turned and looked at him, pain evident in her face, and said, "Thank you."
On the drive home Peyton's emotions were in a tailspin. She was angry and sad, disappointed and numb. Mostly she was numb. She'd woken up that morning thinking she was pregnant and then everything had changed.
When she arrived home she'd anticipated a loud welcome with Emily running into her arms, but the house had been strangely quiet. She stepped through the house and caught sight of something that made her heart catch in her throat. Lucas was asleep on the couch with Emily tucked in next to him, cartoons playing softly in the background.
Peyton stopped to relish the sight of the two greatest loves of her life, living and breathing before her. Seeing them together peaceful and happy, she realized how lucky she was. As a girl she had craved a normal life, something different than what she had grown up in. And now she had it, a husband, a steady job, a beautiful daughter and an extended family that meant the world to her. She sat down next to her family on the sofa and kicked off her shoes. She would tell Lucas about their situation when he woke and they'd talk about it and she could cry a little and be sad, but for the time being she would sit and watch over her family and remember all that she had to be grateful for.