Disclaimer: the end of the world is coming. Please log off…ok, I don't own yugioh. Or Joey Tribuani's line of "How you doin'?"
A/N: Sooo sorry for the super long update! Yeah…it's either because I had TONS of homework, which doesn't seem that necessary, or it was because I was too lazy to. I had a weird dream about Alister. First all the doom members were giant chipmunks and then they turned into their hot human forms and then Alister was in a play and he was supposed to be the evil princess while I was the evil prince…and the good princess was Yuki Sohma and the good prince was Kyo Sohma. Disturbing? Yes. Did I wish that I did not dream it? No.
Alister: I wonder why…
zT: because YOU were in it! (gleam)
Alister: I was a giant chipmunk and an evil princess.
zT: but you were a pretty princess and a cute chipmunk. No wait, actually the chipmunk really scared me. It was like one of those artificial suits made of cardboard? You know what I mean?
Alister: whatevah….
zT: OK now, that was gay.
Alister: whatevah…
zT: STOP IT!
Alister: whatevah…
zT: WHAT HAVE I DONE? NOOOOO ALISTER!
Alister: haha, I'm getting on your nerves!
zT: (glomps Alister) Thank goodness! You're safe! And you're alive! and you're not gay! Well maybe you look gay, but you're still hot!
Alister: getoffme!
VICTIM: DARTZ (BTW: I don't know dartz's wife's name…bear with me)
Church bells were ringing, doves were being gathered into their cage and the huffing and puffing of Dartz's exhausted lungs could be heard a mile away.
"Must… (Wheeze)…get to the… (Cough)…chapel or else… (Gasp)…she'll kill me!" and he continued running. It was his big day; to be exact: his wedding day and he was late because he thought he forgot something at home. While running he was remembering when he FIRST met Iona (I found it somewhere…in a forum I think) and he instantly fell in love with her. But she didn't like him.
Going back a couple years…
"Hey baby! How you doing?" Dartz (17 yrs. Old) asked Iona (15 yrs. Old). She turned walked away. The next day Dartz presented flowers and chocolate to her. She took them and threw them in the trash. A week later, He offered to carried her books and all that sweet stuff. She knocked him out with the heaviest text book. And so it went on like that for a year. Dartz would follow her (cough stalk cough) and she would run away or call the police or something. But every so often, she would sometimes peek over to see what kind of crazy little stunt he was doing at lunch and she would listen on his conversations with his friends. But one day Dartz cornered her and confronted his feelings.
"Iona! I love you!'
"You're a jerk!" she stuck her nose up.
"But I love you! What can I do to win your heart? I've tried everything from chocolates to carrying your books, to asking you out, to…to…EVERYTHING ELSE! What else is there to do?" Iona looked at Dartz. He was pretty hot. And he was the only guy that had pretty blue hair. She looked into his eyes and replied, "NEVER." Dartz was crestfallen. He slunk onto the floor and moped. NOW, Dartz COULD'VE went and committed suicide like I would've done if I were in his place, but he was a strong guy and tried and tried again until she finally went out with him and found out he was incredibly funny and he was hot and a great kisser! Oops went too far…please excuse my nastiness. Anyways, she fell in love with him and then he proposed and all that jazz. So now we go back to the future.
WHEEEEEE! (Traveling back to First Kisses: Dartz)
(Still running) Huff puff sneeze achoo! Cough wheeze pant pant a few more wheezes collapse die revive and start running again. That was Dartz's sequence while he was STILL running. All tat time Dartz was worrying about one thing: the kiss. You see, Dartz and Iona never really had a first kiss because of Dartz's cowardness. Let me revise that: DARTZ never had a first kiss. No wait, how about this: DARTZ didn't know HOW to kiss! He had been practicing on balloons, pillows, life sized Barbies and potatoes. And by the way, Iona found that life sized Barbie doll and that almost caused the relationship to break up. He thought he felt confident but he wasn't. This kiss was just freaking him out! Dartz finally got to the entrance of the chapel and knocked the door open. Thousands of waiting relatives and friends all turned around to look. Dartz felt his rise up to his cheeks. He staggered towards the front and faced Iona, his love. She whispered, "Where have you been?"
"It doesn't matter as long as I'm here now right?"
"Yeah yeah whatever. But you better tell me after this!"
"Fine!" the Priest interrupted their conversation with an "ahem" and then he started.
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah….and all that wedding stuff." Well, that's not what he said but we need this story to get a move on! Finally they were near the end.
"Do you Dartz take Iona as your lawfully wedded wife?" Dartz blushed. He either did that because he was looking into Iona's eyes or he was still scared of that kiss.
"yes." He muttered.
"Do you Iona take Dartz as your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Yes." She stared at Dartz who was sweating and was jumping up and down.
"Sir," the Priest asked Dartz, "Are you spazzing out? Would you like to sit down?"
"NO!" Dartz yelled. Then he chuckled, "I'm fine…really."
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Iona puckered up and Dartz closed his eyes and kissed…something. The audience gasped, all the little children laughed and Iona put her hand up to her eyes and grumbled. Dartz was the only one unaware of what he was doing. Iona's lips are very... whiskery. Is that a word? Hmmm, I better open my eyes now. I hear people laughing. Dartz opened his eyes to find himself looking into the stern glare of the priest. He looked at Iona who was giggling. Dartz turned cherry red and looked down.
"sorry" he mumbled. The pries wiped his mouth with his sleeve and said, "it's okay. But might I give you a suggestion? GET SOME TIC TACS." And Dartz finally remembered what he forgot at home.
UP NEXT: TRISTAN
A/N: haha! Another chapter finished! After Tristan's all I have to do is Duke's and then the one everyone's been waiting for! Well, at least SOME people have been waiting for: SETO KAIBA!
Alister: can't wait to see that…because after that I'm outta here!
zT: I hope it'll be funny enough…wait…YOU Can'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE! OH YEAH! I have some announcements to make:
1.You Do know that I'm the one narrating the stories right? Because I want to make that clear so it doesn't seem like I'm always putting author comments in it…
2.I CLAIMED ALISTER ON THIS ANIME THING! I have a certificate but I can't put it up…no pictures allowed. Oh well, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
3.I also married Alister on Marry Your Favorite Character. Com or something…hee hee…
Alister: WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
zT: because I was afraid you'd leave me…
Alister: Well, it's not official or LEGAL because I NEVER agreed to it…
zT: I already told all my friends.
Alister: WHAT?
zT: they congratulated me! And I want to say congrats to Yuki Sohma and silveryuki06! And congrats to jennyful and Inuyasha! And congrats to panda-chan and Sesshoumaru!
Alister: omg, I feel so sorry for Yuki, inuyasha and sesshoumaru…but at least they don't have to deal with you…
zT: you're no very nice…
Alister: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S NOT NICE! Forcing me into all this story crap…
zT: (hits Alister on the head and knocks him out for a couple of hours for being so mean)