I have been a very busy bee today. Not only did I post a nice, one chapter story this morning (Monkey's Paw—read it, please), I'm updating Silver Wing as well. Go me!
I know this is totally off subject and everything, but people—wear helmets when you're riding your bike. Just this afternoon I was riding with my sister, when this car came up real fast behind me. I had to swerve so it didn't run me over, and I ended up flipping over (with my bike) and bashed my head against the ground, really, really hard. Luckily, I'm a helmet-wearer, or else I wouldn't be posting this right now. Instead of a major concussion, I just got my entire right side scraped up, and had to pull all kinds of gravel out of my knee. And my face was worse. All in all, it was very painful, and very freaky, but things could have been worse. So…helmets are cool—wear them. Now they just need helmets for your arms….
Okay, back on topic now. This chapter was another stubborn one, but I think it's okay now. And for all intensive purposes, Beast Boy has a window in his room (I'm not sure if he actually does in the show). Oh, I put thoughts in italics. And finally, it is very hard to clean your room with one arm—I tried it the other night, and gave up after like, two minutes.
This chapter is about as close to BBRae as anyone's going to get. But really, all of their "moments" in this chapter are still friendship/bonding like. So, still no romance.
I don't own Teen Titans. In order to distract myself from this depressing fact, I'm going to respond you all the lovely reviews now.
dragoon-bane – Yeah, it is kinda scary. Thanks for the review!
Cosmo3k1 – Thank you, you got exactly what I was going for with his reaction. Thanks for all of your wonderful compliments, and for the review. I hope you like this chapter!
doc-trigger – I'm always on the lookout for sharp objects—my arms are among my most prized possessions. Thanks for the review, and here's an update!
lovex3spell – Don't worry, you're not supposed to completely understand why he's dreaming about Terra yet—or why she's dead. And food can be a very powerful force—thank you for yet another complimentary review. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.
Hope Rising – I rewrote his reaction so many times, but I really think I got it exactly the way I wanted it. And yes, I would totally freak if one of my arms was gone. Thanks for the review!
They-Call-Me-Orange – I feel sorry for Beast Boy, too, and I'm the one writing this. I guess I'm supposed to feel bad, though. I mean, I did sort of cut his arm off. As for Terra, that'll be cleared up in a few chapters—you'll just have to wait and see. Thanks for the review!
CalliopeMused – I worked hard on his reaction—I'm glad it turned out well. T-Rex arms are kind of pointless…they're so tiny. And you never know, Cyborg can do some pretty amazing stuff. Thanks for the review!
Chibi Scooby – I don't want to imagine waking up with one arm—writing last chapter is about as close as I hope to get to that. Thanks for your review, and I hope you like this chapter!
teentitansrock! – It's okay if you can't review every chapter—just popping in every now and again is fine with me. Last chapter was one of the hardest…but 11 has been the most stubborn so far, and I'm already dreading the last one. Thanks for the review!
HPFan – Pie and cookies? Now you're making me hungry. Maybe there'll be more cookie-winning oppurtunites in other chapters. Rambling is fine, and reviews are better. I hope you liked this chapter (and that you get to see the End Part 2, I can already tell it'll be amazing).
Koriat – Beast Boy's reaction was the hardest thing to write so far, so I'm glad so many people thought it was done well. Thanks for your review!
Whew…that's taken care of. So, here's chapter seven! Enjoy!
Silver Wing
Chapter Seven: Thinking
Beast Boy slept on and off for the next two days. The forced bed rest, combined with the strong pain killers, brought him to the point of nearly begging Raven to let him out of the med bay, but she refused, saying that he wasn't leaving until he was more fully healed.
After the initial shock of his injury had passed, Beast Boy had become angry. He mostly sat in silence, brooding and ignoring his friend's attempts to connect with him. Still, all of the other Titans did their best to keep him company, even though they weren't completely sure he enjoyed it. After the first night that they'd spoken, Cyborg tactfully avoided any arm related conversations. Instead he talked about everything from Game Station to computer stuff that Beast Boy didn't really understand. It didn't matter—Beast Boy was more content to just listen than to talk.
Robin was much more informative. He kept Beast Boy up to date on what went on in the rest of the tower, and filled in the gaps that he had missed while he was in the dark. Once again, Beast Boy didn't really participate in Robin's conversations.
Starfire only visited once, and for that Beast Boy was grateful. To say that her visit didn't go well was an understatement.
"Friend Beast Boy!" Starfire had shouted when she entered the room. "I am most glad that you are awake once more."
"It's nice to see you, too, Star," he had mumbled in reply.
"You seem unhappy. Tell me, are you troubled?" Her voice had been full of concern.
"Gee, Star, I wonder why you'd think that," Beast Boy had snapped sarcastically.
"Because Slade removed your arm," Starfire had replied innocently. She apparently had no understanding of sarcasm. "I suppose it will not be so bad," she had continued, oblivious. "You are 'left handed,' are you not?"
"No, Star." Beast Boy had tried to remain calm, but Starfire was making that very difficult. "I'm right handed. Or I was, anyway."
"Oh. Well then, that is unfortunate." A smile suddenly lit up her features. "Of course, you would now qualify to train as a Tamaranian one-armed minstrel. Except, you are not from my home planet."
"And that would have been fun. Darn."
"I know! I shall sing you a Tamaranian song of--"
Luckily for Beast Boy's sanity, as well as Starfire's well being, Raven had chosen that moment to enter the room, and quickly made up some "important" thing she needed Starfire to do.
Raven. Beast Boy actually enjoyed her visits. She was usually there when he slept, but when he was awake, she didn't try to cheer him up or initiate pointless conversations. She could sense that he needed time to think, and was willing to let him have it. But Beast Boy knew that she would be there to talk to him, when he was ready.
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It had been two weeks since the fight. Beast Boy was off the strong pain killers, and Raven had promised that she'd let him out soon, as long as he was a good patient for a day or two more.
The rest of the Titans, except for himself and Raven, were out on a disturbance call. A thought had been gnawing away at Beast Boy for a long time now, and he decided he couldn't just wonder any more.
"Uhm…Raven?"
He felt a little guilty for interrupting her when she was meditating, but there was something he really needed to talk about.
"What is it?" Raven didn't seem angry, instead she sounded almost relieved.
"When I'm better, will I have to leave?" He hadn't meant to sound afraid, but soon realized how much of his fear had come through in his question.
Raven stared at him in disbelief. "Why would you have to leave?" she asked finally.
"Because I'm useless now!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "What sort of help am I with one arm? I can't fight, I can't morph--"
"What do you mean?" Raven cut in abruptly.
"I tried it last night," he explained, looking down. "Nobody was down here, so I tried to change, but it didn't work right. I—I'll show you."
Raven had half a mind to stop him, for fear of further injury, but she had a morbid need to understand.
In the place of her friend there sat a dog, with its front leg gone. Then a raccoon, with the same wound. A cat, a rabbit, a shrew, all the same. Then finally, and maybe even most terribly, a dark green hawk that couldn't fly with only one wing.
Human once again, Beast Boy seemed ready to erupt with anger and pain and sadness. Raven stood and carefully hugged him.
"You're not useless," Raven whispered in his ear. "We need you here. Promise me you won't think like that again." He nodded, and she let him go.
"Thanks, Rae."
Before Raven could respond, Cyborg burst into the room, carrying Robin's limp form in his arms. He laid him down on one of the beds, and Raven was at his side in an instant.
"What happened?" Raven's hands were already glowing blue, ready to heal.
"The disturbance turned out to be some sort of gang fight," Cyborg explained quickly. "The punks were easy enough to round up, be a couple of them teamed up a corned Robin. They beat him up pretty bad, and apparently one of them had a knife." He showed Raven a stab wound in Robin's side. It wasn't too serious, and Raven did her best to slow the bleeding and close it up. Thankfully it had missed his vital organs.
Beast Boy's thoughts were all jumbled. This was his fault. If he hadn't let himself get hurt, the whole team could have been together, and Robin wouldn't have been hurt. It only he wasn't so stupid…if only he'd been more careful….if only….
Suddenly Robin groaned and quickly sat up, breaking Beast Boy's train of thought.
"Watch it, man," Cyborg warned, pushing him back down.
"I'm fine," Robin protested, and he sat up again, but more slowly this time and with Raven's help. "What'd I miss?"
While Cyborg explained that they'd pretty much kicked butt after Robin went down, even leaving Starfire in charge of making sure all the perps went to jail, Beast Boy went back to his depressing thoughts. He actually managed to tune out the rest of the evening's conversation, except for when Starfire got home ("Friend Robin! I am elated to see both of your arms still attached!").
The next morning, Raven finally allowed Beast Boy to leave the med bay, and Robin conned his way out as well, using his special "leader of the Titans" abilities. Beast Boy immediately went up to his room and locked the door. He ignored Cyborg's and Robin's and especially Starfire's attempts to check on him. Eventually they all left to stop some prison break. Beast Boy didn't really care—they didn't need him, not like this, not anymore.
For a long time he just sat on his bottom bunk, staring at nothing and thinking. He figured he'd better get used to staying home while the rest of the team went out to fight crime--a one-armed gorilla probably wouldn't take down many evildoers. It was while he sat alone in his room that day that The List was born.
Things I can't do with one arm, Beast Boy thought grimly. Number one—write a list. It was his luck that he lost his right arm—Slade could have at least been considerate enough to cut off the arm he didn't need so much.
He got up and shuffled around, halfway cleaning his room. He stared at the ladder to his bunk bed and frowned. Really, it shouldn't bee too hard to get up there. He climbed up with only some difficulty and studied the tangled piles of sheets.
Number two—make my bed, he thought as he randomly tugged at the edges of sheets. Okay, maybe I couldn't do that in the first place. Defeated, he scooted the tangled mess closer to the end of the bed.
Abandoning that idea, he made his way back down the ladder and tried to tidy his room up. He pulled a withered brown something—possibly a dead soybean plant—out of his windowsill, and paused for a moment to look out the window.
Number three—fly.
He sighed heavily as he looked out at the horizon. Now there was something he would miss.
The hours passed. Beast Boy's floor steadily became more visible, and his depressing list became longer. At some point the rest of the team must have gotten home, because there were three swift knocks on his door.
Oh, what the heck. "Come in," he called, kicking a box of comic books under his bed. The door slid open, and Raven stepped inside.
"Wow, you're actually cleaning," Raven commented, looking around. "I can't lie—now I'm worried."
"Nobody got hurt today?" Beast Boy asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
"No, everyone's fine," Raven said with a sight. "Look, Beast Boy, quit blaming yourself for what happened to Robin. He wasn't even hurt that badly, and he's fine now. It wasn't your fault."
"Yeah, then who's fault was it?" Beast Boy countered.
"No one's," Raven looked at him seriously. "What we do—it's dangerous. People get hurt sometimes, just like Robin did, and just like you did."
"Well, maybe that's my fault, too," Beast Boy said, sitting down on his bed.
"It wasn't," Raven said firmly. "You know, you're not making this any easier on yourself.
"What am I supposed to do?" Beast Boy asked angrily. He pointed to what remained of his right arm. "I can't fight with you guys—I'll just be here, waiting for somebody else to get hurt. I can't do anything, and I hate it!"
His outburst over, Beast Boy fell silent. Raven cautiously approached him, and took a seat beside him on the bed.
"You saved my life, you know," Raven said quietly.
Beast Boy looked at her in surprise. "How?"
"Well, you stopped Slade from slicing me in half," Raven pointed out. "And you distracted him when I was unconscious, and you called the others to tell them where to find me."
"Yeah, but Cyborg said that I would have died if you hadn't found me so quickly," Beast Boy replied. "And you're the one that healed me."
"But maybe that's it," Raven said quietly. "Maybe none of this would have happened if I had been watching out for Slade more carefully—you wouldn't have had to save me. Maybe I'm the one at fault."
With that, she stood and left the room, leaving Beast Boy alone with his thoughts.
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Beast Boy didn't show up for dinner that night, and Raven volunteered to bring him something to eat. Halfway down the hallway, though, Cyborg, who had also been mysteriously absent, stopped her and dragged her into his bedroom.
"I've got to show you something," Cyborg told her in an excited whisper. "I'm an idiot for not thinking of it before, but that doesn't matter now."
"Maybe I should give Beast Boy his tofu…stuff first," Raven suggested. Cyborg shook his head.
"That can wait. Just stick it over there somewhere." Cyborg impatiently waved his hand.
"Descriptive. Thanks." Raven sat the plate down and turned to Cyborg. He grandly unrolled a set of blueprints.
"Presenting---my new masterpiece."
Raven studied the intricate plans carefully.
"This is…amazing," she said finally. "Can you really build it?"
"Can I build it?" Cyborg repeated with a laugh. "Rae, if Cyborg can think it, he can build it."
"I think this will mean a lot to him, Cyborg," Raven said truthfully.
"I hope so. Now get that tofu crap out of here. Really, how can BB eat that stuff…?"
TBC
What is Cyborg's new invention? When will Beast Boy stop acting so cranky? Why does he eat tofu? Why am I asking you, when I'm the author and I'm supposed to know all the answers?"
No, but tofu's cool—I'm a vegetarian, and a proud tofu-eater. I just wanted Cy to be in character.
So, after you review this chapter, go and check out my one-shot fic, Monkey's Paw. It's about Cyborg, and it's kinda creepy, but you people are probably used to my creepy-ness by now. And I put a little Silver Wing joke in there, so you would probably get it. Then you can review it, too.
Child of a Pineapple