Chapter Seventeen

His body was warm against hers, his heart beating steadily. She lost herself in his embrace, letting her mind slip away as she revelled in the fact that he was alive, that he was here and holding her and she wasn't alone anymore. He was talking to her quietly in French, and she understood enough to know that he had missed her, that she was beautiful, and that it felt so good to hold her, but other than that she just let the words wash over her.

"Rogue, what the hell is going on?"

The voice crashed through her mental fog and she sighed, reluctantly slipping out of Remy's embrace. She didn't turn around to face her team-mates, she didn't explain who Remy was or why she had hugged him or anything. She just looked into his dark eyes and felt a tear roll slowly down her cheek.

"I thought you were dead," she whispered, and he smiled sadly, brushing his fingers through her hair, careful not to touch her skin.

"I know, cher, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner, but I had some very important things to do."

"What things?"

"Finding out the location of the Agency."

Rogue gasped, staring at him in disbelief. Remy smiled and then looked over her shoulder at her rather stunned team.

"Bonjour, mes amies, I'm Remy LeBeau."

Michelle blinked, knowing exactly who Remy was, but the rest just nodded with a mixture of suspicion and confusion.

The distant sound of sirens drifted across the courtyard, and Jamie looked at Rogue. After deciding that their commander was in no shape to actually command, she ordered Alistor to carry the body and created a time bubble with a flick of her hands.

As they slowly walked back to the house, safe in their bubble of no-time, Rogue thought. Her mind was in chaos, emotions and thoughts screaming at her, vying for her attention, torturing her heart.

He was alive. She'd spent so many nights dreaming of him, wishing and praying that he were alive, that he was there to hold her, and suddenly… he was. He was just suddenly there, complete with his wicked smile and dark eyes, and she didn't know how she felt about that. She was happy, obviously, but… not completely. There was just something in the back of her mind that whispered dark things to her.

She wasn't the same person anymore, she wasn't the person he had known, and she never could be again. Like it or not, she was a trained killer, nearly a sociopath, and had more worries than anyone could imagine. What if he couldn't accept that? What if he was disgusted by the person she had become? What if he rejected her?

She wasn't sure she could handle being rejected by him. He had meant so much to her, he still did, and with him he had brought back emotions stronger than ever, emotions she thought had died. Her once calm heart was now being torn to shreds by raging emotions. She wanted so much to love him, and for him to love her back, but in the deepest, darkest recesses of her mind, she knew that she couldn't.

If she loved, if she grew attached to something or someone, then she wouldn't be able to do her job. She wouldn't be able to take the risks she did. She wouldn't be able to die for her cause. And that could never happen. She relied on her recklessness, her apathy, her will to do whatever it took.

If Remy took that away, if he made her feel… the world would suffer. She wouldn't be able to stop the Agency, they would continue with their malicious work and every mutant on the planet would be endangered. She couldn't let that happen.

Rogue glanced sideways at Remy, who was talking quietly with Selene, and decided that he couldn't stay. The decision made her heart ache, but it only reinforced her resolve. She couldn't afford to be so emotional. She might hate the cold emptiness, but it was the only thing keeping her, and through her every other mutant, safe.

But maybe… maybe when she succeeded in her mission, assuming she survived and hadn't screwed up all possible chances of a relationship, maybe she could give it another try.

She choked on a bitter laugh. A relationship, her, the one with the poisoned skin. It would be one hell of a relationship, wouldn't it? She couldn't touch, couldn't kiss, couldn't make love. Not unless she wanted to kill him.

Besides, this was all assuming that he didn't despise the person she had become, and that was a fairly uncertain thing. Remy might not be a saint, and his sense of honour was a little twisted, but he did have honour and morals and all that shit. There was a distinct possibility that he couldn't, or wouldn't, even accept a cold-blooded murderer, much less love one.

Rogue sighed, trying to force her mind into some semblance of calm. She had a decision, she was going to send him away. Everything else was irrelevant.

-----------------------

The corpse was immediately put in the basement, and Selene was given the task of cleaning him up before Jamie did the autopsy. Everyone else sat or stood in the living room, with Rogue huddled in the armchair and looking at everyone but Remy. She was painfully aware of his presence, of every move he made and every breathe he took, and it infuriated her to know that she couldn't block him out.

She needed to focus on her job, she needed to find out what he knew and then send him away. Fortunately Jamie could see that something was troubling Rogue and took over.

"So, Mr. LeBeau, exactly why are you interested in the Agency?"

Remy smiled and shrugged. Jamie frowned, not liking the way he hadn't answered.

"You're a mutant, yes?"

Again, a shrug.

"I assume you know Rogue, so that earns you a shred of trust, but how do we know that you aren't a spy sent by the Agency?"

Shrug.

"Stop shrugging and answer my questions." Her voice remained quiet, but was filled with anger, a rare show of emotion.

"He won't." Rogue's voice was soft and filled with an emotion none of them recognised. They all looked at her and fell silent, watching as she stood up and walked over to stand bare inches away from Remy. He was a few inches taller than her, so she had to look up to see his eyes.

"Why did you come back?" she whispered, searching his eyes for answers while unobtrusively removing a glove. She felt her team tense when they saw the action and knew that they were now all alert and battle-ready.

"You need my help," he replied quietly.

"No. I don't need your help, and I don't want it. Tell me what you know about the Agency. Why are you interested in them? How did you find out about them? How did you find out their location? Do you know any other details that I might be unaware of?"

He smiled, a sardonic arrogant smile that made anger spark within her mind. It felt good to get angry. It was something she understood. "One question at a time, ma petite fleur."

She glared, hating the nickname she had loved in the past, and at his superior attitude. She debated touching him, but wanted to leave her trump card for later. That, and she was afraid of what she might discover.

In a cold, controlled voice she demanded, "Why are you interested in the Agency?"

"Because dey be bad people, cher."

Rogue grit her teeth, and behind her back her hands clenched into fists. "How did you find out about them?"

"A friend told me."

"Who?"

"Someone you know."

Rogue frowned and thought about that. She didn't know that many people, besides her Roses and Cathryn, and she was certain that no one else knew about the Agency. So logically, he must mean…

"You know Cathryn?"

"Oui."

"She hasn't mentioned you."

"I'm not surprised."

Rogue's eyes narrowed and she made a mental note to have a chat with Cathryn later, but moved onto the next question. "How did you find out about them?"

Again Remy gave that lazy shrug of his, silently telling Rogue he wasn't going to answer the question directly. "I asked around."

Rogue thought about that for a second and deduced that he had asked some of the people from his old life. She wondered about pressing for details, but knew from past experience that he was just as stubborn as she was, so moved on. "Where is the Agency?"

"Which one?"

Rogue frowned at him, and he smiled, reaching out to flick her hair out of her eyes.

"You're beautiful when you frown."

Something in the back of her mind jumped up and danced at the compliment, but the rest of Rogue just scowled and jerked her head away.

"Don't touch me, don't compliment me, just answer the bloody questions."

Something like pain flickered in Remy's eyes before he smiled and shrugged yet again. Rogue took a deep breath and let it out slowly, keeping a tight grip on her control. She couldn't be emotional, she had a job to do.

"Where is the Agency?" she repeated, anger threading her quiet voice.

Remy looked at her for a moment, and she had the uncanny thought that he was assessing her, testing her. She waited, staring coldly into his dark eyes, until he blinked and sighed.

"We'll need to talk in private a moment, cher."

Rogue frowned, not liking the suggestion, but after a moment's thought nodded and led him up to her bedroom, carefully keeping her hands out of his sight at all times. He glanced around the room quickly, though Rogue knew he would remember every detail, before sitting down on the bed. He didn't lounge, didn't lay down, didn't do anything suggestive or sexy, he just sat. That worried Rogue; it wasn't like Remy to be serious and not tease her. Leaning against the dresser, she looked at him and waited for him to talk.