Michelle leaned back against the arm of the couch and propped the brief up against her bent knees. Concentrate, Dessler - see if you can't get through this report before he gets here. Her mind immediately drifted to Tony and the way his muscular thighs strained against those black slacks he'd worn to work today. "Tsk..." she exhaled in frustration and let her head drop back.
"It's useless," she muttered, tossing the brief onto the coffee table. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what the coming evening would be like. What I'd like it to be like, she thought, and what it will probably turn out to be like are highly likely to be two different things.
Although Tony had initated their first date and a kiss later that evening, she still sensed some hesitation on is part. She was pretty sure that there was some sincere interest on his part, but sometimes it seemed that he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to pursue what they had barely started. Small things - he'd subtly back away from an incidental touch at work, or he'd send Chloe over with a message for her rather than telling her himself.
Maybe he's just trying to be discrete at work, she told herselfActually, there could be any number of reasons he was hesitant. The appearance of impropriety was just one. He was her boss, after all. It was actually pretty risky for both of them to even be considering what they seemed to be considering. If things fall through, we'd still have to face each other each day and be able to perform our jobs seamlessly. She shifted on the couch and propped her legs up on the coffee table. And maybe I'm getting too far head of myself, she mentally chided
Nina was the other major hurdle. Michelle tried to imagine what it would feel like to be betrayed like that by someone you cared about. She couldn't. She thought back to her own relationships in the past and tried to think of them in that light. No question. She'd have been devestated. How long would it take to get past something like that? How long before you could let yourself trust again? She was at a loss.
She tried to block out the "helpful" suggestion her sister had offered. "Maybe he's just not that into you,"she'd hintedShe didn't even want to consider that as a possibility. Besides, he'd given her too many indications that the opposite was true. Just not enough to make her absolutely sure. Maybe he's just shy. I could certainly help him with that, she thought hopefully.
There was no question on Michelle's part. She was crazy about him. She'd known it for quite a while. She just wished she could be sure they were on the same page. Hell, if I knew we were reading the same book , I'd be happy, she told herself. For now, anyway.
She was just in the middle of resolving to back off a little and let Tony set the pace when the phone rang. Her stomach sank a little at the thought that it might be Tony calling to cancel.
She almost wished it were. Instead, it was Danny needing to rant.
Tony had been vascillating all afternoon between excitement of spending some quiet time with Michelle, and sheer terror at the feelings she was stirring within him. He'd tried to deny it for some time, but it was getting to the point where he couldn't ignore it any longer.
Nina. She totally fucked me up, he admonished himself. How could I have been fooled by her? Looking back on that "relationship" now, Tony could see all kinds of telltale signs that she'd been using him. Her relative indifference to him was glaringly obvious at the distance of a couple years. She'd been unimpressed by his romantic gestures - no matter how small or grand. She had little interest in learning anything about him. She barely noticed when other women flirted with him. Initially, he'd attributed it to her still being hung up on Jack. Then he'd figured it was just her aloof personality. Now he knew better.
As he turned the key in the ignition, he realized that while Nina was the major problem, she was only part of it. There was work, too. Technically, he was Michelle's boss & things like this had ways of blowing up in people's faces. He was already finding it very difficult to keep his mind on his job when she was around. Oh - who am I kidding...I can't concentrate on anything even when she's not around, he thought. But what if things end badly? How would we be able to do our jobs?
On the other hand - what if things didn't end? Tony made the decision right then and there that he had to figure a way past his own hangups and see what there could be between him and Michelle. Screw it. It's not against the rules. We can see each other if we want. Tony knew it was what he wanted. Now it was just a matter of getting his mind to accept what his heart already knew.