Notes: Because this is something like her third chapter dedication, I am hereby dedicating the entire fic (minus the odd chapter that is dedicated to someone else) to angyl-devyl because you so deserve it for the wonderful, fantabulous, ego-boosting reviews you leave me! More often than not, a review from you prompts a quicker update. You have kept me writing this fic even when I was sure nobody would like it and that it was crap. You've told me again and again that I have talent and I am actually starting to believe it. I could go on about all the wonderful things you say and do and believe me, I want to, but I think that might get boring so I'll just finish up by saying thank you so much, sweetie. It means more than I can ever say that you have the kind of faith (if that's the right word?) in me that you do.
Chapter Thirty
"I've found the exact co-ordinates of the base and know how to get inside, but I don't think we can just yet," Jamie said, sipping her orange juice. "You have to have a security card, a password, and have a retinal scan that cannot be faked. Getting inside is not going to be easy."
"What happens when we do get inside?" Rogue asked, and Jamie sighed.
"I'll need to get into their system first. Their containment cells are not the simple cages we saw last time, they are seriously hi-tech. The only way to free the mutants is for me to hack their system, and quickly too. Now, we aren't going to be able to blow the place up, if we set off any explosives, the entire thing will cave in and I can't predict how large the blast zone will be."
Rogue scowled. "Figure out a way. I want that place destroyed, I don't want anything left."
"Not possible. I'm sorry, Rogue, but they knew what they were doing when they built that place. If we detonate any explosives, it could weaken the ground, possibly even cause an earthquake or two. They're miles from the nearest town, so I admit that the chances of us causing damage is slight, but it is still too risky. Plus, we'd draw the attention of other people. So far we've managed to cover our tracks, mostly because the Agency is so secret and they are undoubtedly helping to keep our little war a secret, but if we destroy half of Australia, and get rid of the Agency in doing so, then we will attract some very unwanted attention. We do not need the FBI, CIA, or anyone else looking into our affairs. I do not have the resources to protect us from them. I'm sorry, Rogue, but you are just going to have to settle for killing every person involved in the project and leave the base alone."
Rogue opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it without saying anything. Jamie was right, they really couldn't draw attention to themselves and she really didn't want to hurt any civilians just so that she could see the Agency flattened. It was petty and childish, an irrational response to completely annihilate that which threatened her and her family. Killing everyone involved in the project was enough, she knew that in the back of her mind, she just had to accept it. As long as she killed Mitchell she would be… well, she wouldn't be content, but it was close enough.
Rogue sighed and nodded. "Alright, we'll leave it there. Now, are you sure that every person involved in the Agency will be there?"
"Yes. I've managed to intercept an email from one of the flunkies who was stupid enough to send said email to the laptop I took from the building. They've got orders to go underground, literally, until they know that the threat is passed, or at least diminished. For the next three weeks, no one involved in the project will go above ground, and that includes the janitors. We'll get them all."
"Good. We'll do it the same as last time with a few variations because Envee will be with us as well as Gambit, but we'll still do some on assassination, some on prisoner rescue. How are we going to get all the mutants out of there, by the way?"
"I haven't figured that part out yet. The Agency have three helicopters and two jets so we'll need something fast yet strong, and big enough for… well, I'll tell you that when I know how many prisoners they have."
"Either way, we're gonna need transportation, a jet probably, and we're running a bit low on weapons from the last mission, we lost three submachine guns, a half dozen knives, and a garotte. I swear if those idiots don't start keeping hold of their weapons I am gonna kick their asses."
Jamie just looked at her, knowing that she was diverting her attention away from the real issue. She was complaining about the Roses losing their weapons so that she didn't have to face the fact that they needed more, and that their weapons supplier was Cathryn. Jamie knew that, Rogue knew that, and there was no denying it.
"I'll send Kar once I know what kind of jet we need," Jamie said quietly. Rogue nodded silently, staring into her coffee mug. Jamie was just about to leave when Rogue's voice slashed through the uncomfortable silence.
"I miss her."
Jamie hesitated at the door, not sure of what to do, but then turned around to face her leader. She wondered why Rogue was talking to her about this instead of Michelle, but didn't voice her questions.
"I miss going to the Pitt and having a few drinks in her office. I miss knowing that I could phone her in the middle of the night and she'd answer. I miss knowing that I could depend on her. I hate that she betrayed me, hate that she lied to me, but no matter how hard I try… I can't hate her. I wish I could, it would make things so much easier. I know how to hate, I've perfected the art of a fine, burning hatred. But I can't hate her, I just… I miss her. I want to see her, to try and repair some of what she damaged, but the knowledge of what she did won't let me. I'm torn between hatred and longing and I don't know what to do."
Rogue took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did so, and held it for ten counts before slowly letting it out. She opened her eyes and looked at Jamie.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Forget it and please don't mention it to anyone else."
"Rogue-"
"I'd appreciate an update this evening on your progress. If you need me, I'll be down in the basement."
"O-Okay."
Rogue shut the door to her bedroom quietly, calmly, but then nearly collapsed against it, the breath rushing out of her lungs. She felt nearly faint, almost sick, completely shocked at herself for revealing those things to Jamie, to anyone.
It had been three days since Michelle had first given Rogue her new journal and she had already filled several pages with her thoughts. She tried not to think too much about what she wrote. During those three days, Michelle had also set her several tasks and exercises, and one of them was an on-going task of being 'more open to the people around you'. She had tried, really she had, and she thought she'd been doing pretty well-she'd laughed at a couple of jokes, gone out shopping with Selene, sat down to a movie with Envee, and had smiled at least four times.
She was surprised to find that it was very easy to relax around her team-mates, and then realised that she never really had before. She'd been less tense, less alert, but had never really relaxed and let herself enjoy their company, not like she had with the X-Men. But during the past three days, she had, and she found that they were just as welcoming, just as warm and friendly, as her old family.
Rogue took a deep breath and let it out slowly, opening her eyes even though she wasn't sure when she'd closed them. She walked over to her dresser and changed into her workout clothes-black sweatpants, black crop top, trainers, and gloves. She couldn't wear her gun when working out, and she put it in the holster she'd fixed to her headboard. The holster was there so that if she got attacked whilst sleeping, she had her gun near at hand, as well as the knife under her pillow and mini-Uzi under the bed.
Rogue didn't like going unarmed, even if she was just going down to the basement, but managed to convince herself that she didn't need to wear knives on her arms. That was another thing Michelle had been teaching her, to walk around the house unarmed sometimes, even if it was just for a few minutes. She didn't like it, being unarmed made her feel unbelievably weak and vulnerable, but she understood the purpose of the lesson and tried her hardest. So far, she hadn't managed to go more than fourteen minutes. Hell, she even took her gun into the shower with her, so fourteen minutes completely unarmed was a big achievement in her opinion.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts, not liking how easily distracted she was today, and walked downstairs. She grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen before descending into the semi-gloom of the basement. She could have turned on the light, but she always preferred to workout in the dark. She'd spent so much time in the shadows, in the darkness, that it felt like home to her now.