Thanks to all my reviewers for my story: OClover1, She Loves Shoes, don't think about it, Cohen-girl, Ansy Pansy aka Panz, KikiCohen, kandylover, carliechick, cheerleader2006, CynthiaB, Andy Panddy, BeAuTiFuL mAdDnEsS, and SandyKirsten. I am finally past 50 reviews! Now the next chapter:

Chapter 23: The Blue Christmas

DECEMBER 19, 1980

NEWPORT BEACH, CA

"Finally! Christmas break!" Kelly exclaimed as she and Kirsten left school.

"And a fun filled break of filling out more college applications," Kirsten sighed.

"But you're done with the UC app…since it was already due. You still want to go to Berkeley, right?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah, but do you honestly think my dad would approve of me going there? He's making me apply to a bunch of private schools on the East Coast," Kirsten told her.

"You haven't told him that you want to go to Berkeley, have you?" Kelly proded.

"Well…not exactly…I guess I just figured I would worry about that if I get in," Kirsten admitted.

"Hello! You are going to get in, Kirsten. I mean, perfect GPA, president of Harbor, cheerleader, and a charity league member…how could you not!"

"Well, nothing's ever for sure…and I guess I'm just avoiding the subject with my dad…he will not be happy when he finds out."

"I thought Berkeley had a good business program…shouldn't that at least make him happy?" Kelly said.

"Well, yeah…but it is also a liberal, public school, which he won't like…and when he finds out that I don't want to study business…well, then the shit will really hit the fan," Kirsten told her.

"So you're not going to study business like your dad wants?" Kelly asked to which Kirsten gave a confirming, triumphant nod. "Good for you…do what you want…are you going to do art history…was that it?"

"Yeah…that's what I really want to do…my dad is going to say it's impractical…which, yes, it kind of is…but for once, I want to do what I want," Kirsten said.

"Are you planning on telling him anytime soon?" Kelly wondered.

"Well, I figure I have to convince him to let me go to Berkeley, as long as I get in, and then I can worry about not majoring in business," Kirsten informed her.

"Good job, Kirst. I'm happy for you," Kelly said

"Thanks. Hey, do you want to hang out tonight?" Kirsten asked her. Please say you can, Kirsten thought. I don't want to hang out with Jimmy if he asks me…and this way I would have legitimate plans.

"I would, but I can't…I have plans with Matt," Kelly said.

Damn it! Kirsten screamed inside her head. But outwardly she stayed calm and said, "Oh, no problem. Have fun with Matt."

Kelly smiled and said, "Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow though," Kelly said, to which Kirsten gave a puzzled look. "Your parents' Christmas party, remember?"

Kirsten remembered and said, "Oh, yeah…forgot…yeah, see you then." The two girls got in their respective cars and drove home.

As soon as Kirsten walked in the door, she heard the ringing of the phone and then her mom's voice as she answered it. When she heard her mom say, 'Oh, I think she just came in,' Kirsten knew it was Jimmy.

"Kirsten…Jimmy's on the phone," Katherine said as she handed the phone to Kristen and walked into another room.

"Hi, Jimmy," Kirsten said into the phone.

"Hey, Kirst…I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight…get dinner or something," Jimmy asked her.

"Um, well, I'd love to…" Kirsten said as she closed her eyes, "but I promised my mom I would help with dinner and help her get some stuff ready for the Christmas party tomorrow." She cringed at herself for lying to him…she didn't want to avoid him, but she still felt like she needed space…even after 3 months.

"Oh, okay…then I guess I'll see you at the party tomorrow," Jimmy said in a disappointed voice.

"Yeah, definitely. I'm looking forward to it," Kirsten said, trying to sound optimistic…maybe even enough to convince herself.

"Okay, love you," Jimmy said.

"Love you too…bye," Kirsten said and hung up the phone. She sighed as walked back toward her room. She knew she was putting a strain on the relationship by acting this way…and she wanted more than anything not to...not to be hurting someone she loved. But she couldn't seem to break away from the way she felt.

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DECEMBER 20, 1980

NEWPORT BEACH, CA

Kirsten sat on the bed in the pool house, looking gorgeous in her long deep green dress and with her hair in perfect curls. She was trying to gather up her nerve to go out into the party to face the guests…one guest in particular that would probably be there by now…Jimmy. But as much as she tried, she couldn't stand up.

She felt herself stiffen as she heard a knock on the door, but herself say, "Come in." Upon seeing Kelly at the door, she relaxed and her best friend came and sat next to her.

"Found a new hiding spot this year, I see," Kelly observed.

"Yeah, not really ready to go face the Newpsies just yet," Kirsten told her.

"I know the feeling…" Kelly started. "Kirsten, are you still avoiding Jimmy?"

"Um, no…" Kirsten lied.

"Yeah, sure…that was real convincing, Kirst. I thought you were going to try to talk to him…about, you know…" Kelly trailed off.

"Yeah…I…I just can't bring myself to do it…he'd break up with me for sure…I can tell he's already pissed at me…and I don't blame him, either…I've been acting horrible to him," Kirsten sighed.

"You have to talk to him, Kirst," Kelly told her.

"I…I just can't…not about this…if it was about anything else, I would," Kirsten admitted. "I just wish I could start acting normal around him."

Kirsten flopped from her sitting position to lying down on the bed and closed her eyes for a second to gather her thoughts when the door opened.

"Hey, you two!" Jimmy's voice echoed through the pool house.

Kirsten sat up immediately, while Kelly said, "I'll let you two talk. See ya out there," and with that she left the pool house and shut the door.

"Hey, Jimmy," Kirsten said as she stood up and gave him a kiss. "So we should probably go out there," she said as she started heading for the door.

"Wait, Kirsten. I want to talk with you first," Jimmy said. Kirsten knew this was coming and there was no avoiding the conversation now. She walked back to where he was standing and they both sat down on the bed.

"Kirsten, I want to know what's been bothering you these past few months," Jimmy started.

"Jimmy, I've told you. I am fine," Kirsten lied. Her face was very convincing that she was actually telling the truth, but Jimmy knew better than this.

"Kirsten, you're lying. You've been avoiding me for months. What did I do? How can I make it better?" Jimmy prodded.

Kirsten looked down and shut her eyes for a moment, then she looked back up at him and said, "You didn't do anything. I promise. I don't know…I guess a lot of things are going on lately…college apps, student government…I guess I'm just stressed and tired."

Jimmy sighed, knowing that she wasn't telling him the truth. Sure, she might be stressed out from those things, but it wasn't enough to make her act like she was. Frustrated, he continued, "Stop lying, Kirsten!" He hadn't meant for it to come out as a yell, but after months of Kirsten avoiding him, his aggravation was finally coming out. "Why are you doing this to me! What is wrong!"

"What's wrong! Jimmy, you thought I wanted to marry you now…in high school! Who does that! Oh, that's right, you!" Kirsten yelled back, using his proposal as an excuse.

"You're still mad about that! I thought we talked about that! You said everything was fine with that now!" Jimmy shouted. "I'm sorry for wanting to spend the rest of my life with the girl I love!"

"Yes! I am still mad about that! Ever thought of waiting until maybe even college! What were you thinking!" Kirsten exclaimed.

"What I want to know is what you are thinking! All I want you to do is open up to me! Instead you go out and drink too much at parties!" Jimmy screamed, but almost regretted it as he said it.

Kirsten just glared at him for a second and then let her fury be known, "I drink too much! Everyone at our school drinks too much! You drink a ton! And I don't go around telling you that you need to cut back!"

"Not like you! Halloween ring a bell. And what about you spending almost the entire Thanksgiving weekend drunk!" Jimmy yelled.

"Everyone was drunk! So were you!"

"At least I don't pass out at parties! And do you recall the first day we met I found you passed out at your front door step after a party!"

Kirsten was furious. Her face was red and her throat was getting dry from yelling. "I think you should leave," she said in a somewhat calmer tone, although the bitterness in her tone was very detectable.

"You know what I think! I think this clearly isn't working. We need a break. I can't do this anymore," Jimmy stated and walked out of the pool house before Kirsten could say another word.

Kirsten lowered her head and closed her eyes. Shit! What have I done, now! What did I let it get this out of hand. This is all my fault. In the background, Kirsten's ears picked up the melody of the song Blue Christmas. She sighed as she thought, Yep…definitely going to be a blue Christmas now…

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Sorry about all the angst…it will get resolved shortly.