Ok here is an actual chapter. (Everyone jumps for joy)

I don't own Van Helsing, Evanescence, diet coke, or corona light.

Kaiya- (shudders) do not spite me with the evils that is the spice girls song! Though I do like the fact that you like the story. (Nods happily)

It is interesting, I have most of the plot worked out already, it's all the little fun details that I get to fill in now. (Most of which I forget) Anyway glad you liked it and I hope you like this chapter as well.

Stupid Priests
If only night can hold you where I can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
- Evanescence

Van sighed as he eased into the bed. It had been a long week; nothing went according to plan. Though when did anything go according to plan?

He had just spent a week going through snow, rain, sleet and mud. All the while on the run from some very nasty people and one back stabbing friar. Well, as far as he could tell, back stabbing. He still held some hope that it was all a mistake.

"That's it Gabriel, can I kill them now?" Van looked up from his revere and found a very pissed off vampire standing in front of him with a large knife sticking out of his back.

Well… so much for having faith in Carl… Mused Van as he stood and walked over to inspect his lovers wound.

"Doesn't look to bad, should heal in about a minute." Van said as he watched the count rip the knife out of his back.

"Half a minute." Dracula said as he plopped down where Van had been lying. "You're getting better though. Anyway I'm going to sleep." He said as he closed his eyes. Van scowled and glared evilly at the bed-stealing fiend, it didn't work.

"That was where I was sleeping Dracula." Van said as he approached the bed all to ready to shove Dracula out of it. A smile perched on the monster's lips.

"Well Gabriel, this is big enough for two people, you could sleep on the other side of the bed… or you could use the floor. It looks mighty comfy to me." Dracula drawled as he propped himself up and eyed the monster hunter with amusement.

Van sighed and walked over to the other side of the bed and slid under the covers.

"I hate you." He murmured into the dark. Hearing no response he swung a hand over to Dracula's side of the bed, nothing. Suddenly two arms wrapped around him as kisses where placed lightly on the neck. Van suppressed a smirk and twisted over.

"I really hate you." He said as he pressed his lips against Dracula's. A beat then the two drew away.

"Well that's not a very diplomatic thing to say considering you are sharing a bed with me." Dracula said as he trailed his fingers down Van's back. "I could do something unthinkable… Something bad that even you couldn't forgive me for." His voice had dropped to a low timbre. Van raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "It would be the ultimate evil Gabriel… Do you really wish to cross with me?" His eyes adopted a feral look and his mouth quirked up slightly.

"Oh dear me, I am so terribly frightened… what are you going to do to me? You couldn't kill me if your life depended on it, and you can't exactly rape me or anything because I would be complying the whole time." Van said in a mocking voice, amusement evident in his eyes.

"I, being the son of the devil and the all powerful evil man here will not disclose my oh so evil plans to you." Dracula said in a haughty voice as he flipped his hair over his shoulders. Van chuckled and pulled to insolent vampire towards him.

"You're not evil, you're petty evil. You are the diet coke of evil, the corona light of evil, the wanna be evil. You're not evil." He said as he began undoing Dracula's shirt.

"Again, my dear Gabriel, you have said something terribly mean to me, your poor wounded lover." Van sorted a looked up.

"Wounded?"

"Yes, your words have cut me deeply and I will now turn from you and seek another more compliant person to live out my days with." Dracula's voice had adopted a hurt tone and he twisted away from Van.

"Well… alright, and here I was in the mood to have some raunchy sex with you." The reaction was exactly as Van predicted. Dracula didn't move at first then slowly turned around and looked at him, blink, stare, blink, blink, stare. He grinned, revealing his fangs and launched himself at Van.

"I hate you." He growled at the monster hunter who just smirked in response.

"Well that's not a very diplomatic thing to say considering you are sharing a bed with me." Van hooted as he slid away from Dracula who just glared at him in response. "What? Is the ickle prince tired already?"

"You wish you stupid mortal." Dracula growled as he tugged Van's shirt off. A feral grin lit his face as he starred (more like ogled) the half-naked man. (yum….) "So pretty…" He murmured as he caressed Van's chest. Van eased himself back down on the bed and watched his lover intently.

Suddenly a scream ripped through the placid night air. Van and Dracula where instantly up and pulled on clothes and weapons.

"God damn them." Van cursed as he sped down the stairs after Dracula. "Why now?"

The two were on horses immediately.

"Because they are bastards, that's why." Whispered Dracula as the two sped through the streets.

Voices echoed behind them as they urged their horses on faster. Van risked a glance back and saw about four men following them, black cassocks bellowing in the wind.

"Damn priests." Dracula said as the left town. Van didn't say anything, but he was sure that one of the riders was wearing a brown robe. But it could have been a trick of the light.

They pressed on for about three miles before slowing down and eventually realizing (after Van had the brains to look behind him again) that they where alone.

TBC
Ok I hope you all liked the first chapter. Ya I stopped the scene, don't beat me! (hides) But I figured it was a bit crass to start a story with a sex scene.

Their dialogue was plenty fun, as was looking up preist garments. (I have a Cassock in my closet, the thing could pass as a spiffy trench coat)

Dracula: Just why do you have a cassock in your closet… or do I not want to know?

It's for the anime convention you moron.

Dracula: Sure.

Oh shut up and go bother your priest… well, wanna be priest.

Dracula: (defensive) Gabriel is holy! … Well only when it suits him.

Exactly. Oh, as a note, I do know that they didn't have diet coke or corona light back then but hey, who is keeping record?

Napoleon: I am!

You don't count. Ok, please review!

Dracula: (in background) But still, why in the name of hell do you have a cassock in your closet?

Napoleon: (also in background) YOU have a CASSOCK in your CLOSET?