Chapter Three

Rachel awoke to insistent pounding, a steady rhythm that made her head spin. Where the hell was it coming from? Where the hell was she? Rachel didn't dare to open her eyes, as she tentatively touched her bare stomach. She was naked and she had no idea where she was. Oh my God, she thought, I broke, I went back to Ross!

But that didn't sound right . . . no, it wasn't Ross. It wasn't Ross. She opened her eyes gingerly, and it all came rushing back. Chandler! Chandler, Chandler, Chandler. She could think the name as many times as she wanted, but it wouldn't go away . . .

The knocking continued. Rachel wanted to yell at whoever was knocking this early in the morning, but she knew that could be a fatal mistake. Swallowing all of her feelings, both good and extremely bad, she shook Chandler's sleeping form to wake him up.

"Whasgoinon?" he slurred groggily.

Rachel gestured violently at the door. "There's somebody there," she hissed.

"Just Joey," he murmured.

"But what if he comes in?" she whispered frantically. "How are we going to explain this?"

He blinked. "Rachel?" he asked blankly, as if registering her for the first time. "We didn't . . ."

"Well, I'm naked, and so are you," she told him brusquely. "I think all the clues add up."

"Thank you, Sherlock, for that," Chandler replied, his sarcasm obviously returning.

"Just do something about the door, he's been knocking on it for the past five minutes," Rachel hissed impatiently.

"Damn Italians," Chandler muttered. He slid out of bed and found a towel on the floor; he wrapped it around his waist. Rachel swathed herself in the bed sheets and hid in the closet, breathing heavily.

Chandler opened the door. "What do you want?" he asked Joey, who, as he predicted, was standing outside his bedroom.

"So, did Rachel talk to you?" he asked eagerly.

Rachel could hear Chandler's voice falter for a moment. Joey continued, apparently oblivious.

"Because I talked to Monica, and after a long, long, long time –"

"Thanks, man," Chandler said sarcastically.

"Dude, it's good news!" Joey cried. "She agreed to go on a date with you, tonight! You better get ready!"

"Joey, it's nine o'clock on a Saturday morning! Normal people have dinner in the evening."

"Yeah, so? It's Monica. You want to impress her!" Joey looked curiously at him. "Right?"

"Well, yeah, of course. It's Monica," said Chandler uncertainly.

"Oh," said Joey. He narrowed his eyes at Chandler. "I know what this's all about. Rachel warned me about this." In the closet, Rachel's heart skipped a beat. Chandler closed the bedroom door.

"What is this all about, Joe?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Dude, Chandler, you mean a lot to me and all, but just because we're working in close quarters doesn't mean I have, you know, feelings for you." Joey patted his arm soothingly. "But if I could, I would be gay for you, man."

"Get out," said Chandler. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

Joey rolled his eyes. "Just saying, dude…"

"LEAVE!" Chandler yelled, and this time, Joey obliged. After checking over his shoulder several times, as if expecting Joey to hop back out, Chandler sat on his bed.

"We're good, I think. You can come out now."

Rachel walked out of the closet slowly and stared at Chandler. "Hi." She smiled.

"Hi," he greeted her back. His face broke into a toothy grin, and Rachel laughed. "What?" His face fell. He looked down at his half-dressed form and scowled.

"No, it's not that…it's just…you."

"Me?"

"Yes." Rachel sat down next to him. "This is weird."

"We should coin that phrase for this whole thing, you know," he said, and Rachel laughed. Chandler shushed her. "Not too loud, Joey might hear…" He pointed at the door, and Rachel's heart fell.

"You're going out with Monica tonight."

"Yeah. Looks like it."

"I can't believe this!" She stood up, and began looking for her clothes. "What will Monica say?"

"About what?" Chandler was beside her instantly, and staring into her eyes.

"About what? This!" Rachel yelped, and Chandler shot another hesitant glance at the door.

"Well, she doesn't have to say anything…"

"Are you suggesting that we not tell her?" Rachel looked at him.

"No, ok? I suggested not telling her about the kissing thing, now I'm definitely saying that we don't tell her about this…"

"She's my best friend-"

"Ross is mine! What if I told him?" Chandler shot. Rachel felt herself blush.

"I thought Joey was your best friend…" she muttered.

"Well, he's my roommate…No! You will not trail me off! Do you want me to tell Ross?" he asked her. She shook her head despondently.

"Then I ask that you don't tell Monica…"

"Do you still like her?" Rachel glared at him, and relished in the fact that she'd made him uncomfortable this time.

"I… don't know. She's Monica. I've always liked Monica…"

"I sense a 'but'." She said, forcing him to say what she already knew.

"I like you, too…and this…I don't just…It's never been this easy for me to…" Chandler slowly met Rachel's eyes, and exhaled upon seeing her smile.

"Me neither." She kissed him softly, and then pulled away. "Now you distract Joey so I can get out of here."

"Ok… Now what about my Monica date tonight?"

"I want you to go," Rachel said, and Chandler looked at her, puzzled plastered across his face. "I want you to go, so you can see if us, you know, you and me, is something you really want to pursue, or if it's Monica…"

Chandler kissed Rachel at that point, and when she finally pushed him off, she sneered. "I don't know if I like this relationship that much, if that's the new way we shut each other up…"

"Worked for you, didn't it?" He grinned cheekily at her, and she smacked his arm.

"Now, go, and be distracting…"

"I know exactly what to do…"

888

"What do you mean, you might like me?" Rachel heard Joey exclaim from his room, and ran out of Chandler's as fast as she could. She didn't let herself breathe until she was across the hall, safe in her own apartment.

"Hey Rach." Monica smiled as she entered. Rachel immediately felt her skin change crimson.

"Hi, Monica…" She smiled. Monica winked at her.

"Out all night, huh?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So… are you and Ross getting back together?" Monica squealed, and Rachel shook her head.

"I wasn't at Ross's…"

"You weren't…" Monica's face fell, and she hit Rachel. "You're with some other guy when my brother's heart's on the line? How the hell could you do that?"

"How the hell could I do that? You're going out with Chandler!" Rachel shot, and Monica furrowed her brows together.

"Ok, what does that have to do with anything, and how did you know about that?"

Rachel felt stuck.

888

"Phoebe? It's me. Chandler!" Chandler knocked on her door. He had decided to talk to Phoebe, realizing that she would probably be the least-biased when it came to what he needed to talk to her about. After conversing with Joey for twenty minutes about 'liking each other', he knew that Rachel had to have safely gotten out of the apartment, and he said, "You know what? You're not my type!" and left the room. This, coincidentally, left Joey completely and utterly offended, so Chandler had to listen to him go on and on about how, if he was- and this is purely hypothetically- gay, then Chandler would so be lucky to have him. Now that he was free, he'd decided to come here, though was regretting not calling first, because Phoebe seemed indisposed.

"Umm… I can't come to the door right now…"

"Why not?"

"I just can't! Come back later!"

"I need help!"

"Ask Ross!"

"You don't understand! I can't ask Ross, or Joey, or Monica…or Rachel. I need you! You're the only one not caught up in this!" Chandler paused, and when that evoked no response, continued, "Phoebe!"

"Alright!" She opened the door. "What?" She looked at him.

"Help me."

"With what?"

"Obviously, something. So, may I come in?" Chandler made to enter, and Phoebe held up her arm.

"NO!"

"What the hell are you doing--?" Chandler tried to poke his head in the door, and got a smack upside the nose. "Owww!" He looked at her in dismay.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She shut the door behind her. "I'm so, so, sorry… it's just… I have a secret…"

"I have one too, and I didn't punch you…" Chandler sat down on the floor, and Phoebe sat opposite him.

"I know, and we're so unequally matched…"

"Phoebe, you're not that weak…"

"I know I'm not," Phoebe scoffed. "But you are…"

"Hey!" Chandler yelled, and Phoebe looked at his nose.

"I didn't break it. That's good. So, what's up?" Phoebe sat and looked at him, and Chandler rolled his eyes.

"I should've gone to Joey, it's just that he has such high morals—"

"Making me feel really good about being the person you chose to talk to," Phoebe gave him sarcastic thumbs up, and Chandler sighed.

"You're right. I just… I did something last night."

"With Rachel," Phoebe said, and Chandler looked at her in shock.

"How the hell did you know that?"

"I knew it the instant Joey called me this morning and told me that Rachel talked to you and that he talked to Monica. I was like, 'Oh yeah, I'm sure Rachel and Chandler did lots of talking…' "

"You didn't say that to him?"

"No, of course not. Joey wouldn't believe it anyway, like you said, he has these unrealistically high morals, and insists on believing that everyone else has them, too."

"It's not like I don't have morals!" Chandler sighed. "I just got caught up in the moment, and after that moment, I still felt… good. Which was weird, a word I've been using a lot lately, because I knew that I should be feeling supremely guilty because of…"

"Ross loving Rachel and Monica loving you…"

"Monica loves me?" Chandler exclaimed.

888

TBC

What an evil little place to leave it, but I like it, don't you, Lauren? Yes, that's a good place to leave it…