Well, I know it was the answer to a challenge fic, but someone said it was an evil place to end it, and please continue. And, since I had more of it written than I posted, I decided "Why not?" (Nasty flames may answer that…) Inu-Yasha gets out of character, I'll warn you about that now.

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He hadn't known anything when he was pinned. There had been only the brief flash of betrayal as he realized Kikyo had fired the arrow. And then, Kagome had awakened him… He hadn't felt anything. He hadn't realized any time had passed. His head drooped, his knees drew up. His body shook as he fought the pain in his heart, pain he'd never expected to feel. When had he begun to love her? When had he given her his heart? His shattered, broken heart. He cried, gouging himself with his own claws as he tried to stop his tears, to make it just a physical pain. Blood dripped to the ground, pooling at the base of the tree, and still he ripped at his own flesh. The agony of his claws tearing through flesh and muscle, scoring the bone, was somehow soothing now. The dizziness and weakness that accompanied the blood lost was all that finally stopped him. He fell from the tree, hitting several branches before landing in the bloodied dirt below.

*****

"I love you."

*****

Moving hurt. The room swam dizzily into focus. A window, a door of woven reeds. Wooden floor. And an old woman. His eyes fluttered shut again. Something soft under him, and something warm over. Memory flooded his mind. Under the cover of the blanket, sharp claws ripped through bandages to the flesh beneath. He hadn't died, and he had meant to. Flesh gave way, blood soaking into the futon. He no longer cared to live.

He could smell her, just outside. His ears twitched, ever so slightly, as her footsteps indicated her entrance, and she spoke to Kaede. "Is he improving, Kaede?"

"His wounds heal, child, but he wakes not."

"And we are no closer to finding whatever it was that attacked him." She sounded sad.

He dug his claws into his palms, not realizing the pain-laced smile that accompanied the action, not realizing she noticed he moved when he began gouging his thighs. Kagome walked quietly over to him, looking down at the hanyou. She had been so angry with him when she'd woken up that day. And yet, the anger had turned to horror and fear of losing him when she'd found him on her way back to the well. She dropped to her knees beside him, reaching out to brush a few stray wisps of hair from his face

"Oh, Inu-Yasha," she said quietly, sorrow lacing her tone, "Inu-Yasha. You must get better." Gently, mindful of the bandages, she cupped his face. "You must. I need you."

He stilled, not even seeming to breath for a moment. Hazy, pain-filled eyes opened slowly, focused on her. He blinked a few times, as if trying to figure out if she were real. She… needed him?

"Inu-Yasha?" She turned to call Kaede. "Kaede! He's awake!" She turned back to him, eyes brimming. "Oh, Inu-Yasha! I… We've been so worried about you! What happened? Who… or what, did this to you?"

He didn't answer, just continued to stare at her, his golden eyes hazed with pain as he tried to understand. She had been worried? Kaede interrupted his torturous thought processes, forcing him to drink some evil-tasting concoction. He didn't protest, even swallowed as told. Kagome found him a bit of food, feeding it to him herself, concern for him in her eyes. He permitted himself to be fed, still trying to understand even as his claws continued to rip new wounds. He needed the pain, needed to feel the blood run.

She noticed the blood, finally. "Kaede! He's bleeding again!" Kagome ripped the blanket off, only to realize as she saw him slash at his stomach that he'd wounded himself. "Kaede!" She grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his body. "Inu-Yasha! You stop that!"

He didn't fight her, didn't fight when Kaede wrapped his hands so that he couldn't hurt himself. He didn't move as she treated the new wounds and bandaged them. He neither helped nor hindered as the two women moved him from the blood soaked futon, barely noticed when he was put on another with a clean blanket covering him.

She needed him. She'd been worried. And she didn't want him to hurt himself. His eyes closed, silent tears chasing each other as they fell. She… cared?

His wounds were healed by morning, leaving no scars behind. Hanyou blood, his mind taunted him. Half-breed. Worthless. Kaede took off his bandages, but left his hands wrapped. Kagome sat with him, troubled that she was having to coax him to eat Ramen. He didn't speak, didn't move, wasn't even gobbling Ramen! She set the bowl aside, finally giving up when the sun set.

Beautiful golden eyes closed, though he didn't go to sleep. Kagome sighed, and brushed a light kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight, Inu-Yasha. Sleep well." She moved to her own bed, wondering what could have possibly happened to make her hanyou friend behave so strangely.

He opened his eyes again when he determined the others were asleep. Sharp teeth tore at the bandages on his hands, freeing them. He didn't bother trying to find his clothes, darting out the door and to his tree. Finally in the high branches, a cool breeze winding around his body and tossing at his hair, he allowed himself to think.

That night… was it only two nights ago? She had initiated… she had urged him to take her… and he had. She'd wanted more, he'd given it to her. Her eagerness and wantonness had surprised him… but otherwise, she'd been perfectly normal. Her scent, her voice… and thinking about it, even touching him was normal for her. So what had happened? She'd asked, he'd given… she'd said she loved him! Unnoticed, tears began tracking down his cheeks, remembering the way she'd pulled him back when he'd started to pull away from her, her sleepy whisper and the passionate kisses they'd shared. Why had she wakened so angry with him? Why the punishment?

Could she not remember? Inu-Yasha shook his head… no, that couldn't be. It had been only a matter of a few hours between when they'd fallen asleep and when she'd wakened him. They had slept only. Nothing had come in, his nose had told him that when he'd tried to find the enemy he thought had threatened his mate. Yet… she had acted as if she had no knowledge of the night's events. His brows furrowed as he followed that line of thought. But, he couldn't come up with any reason why she would not remember.

Which left only one answer. She had regretted her choice, and did not want to admit that she had taken him for her mate. She had… rejected him. He shook his head. No… no. She had said only that morning that she needed him, that she'd been worried about him… and she hadn't wanted him to hurt himself. That didn't seem like rejection. At least, not until he remembered the Shikon jewel.

Yes, for that, she needed him. To protect her. She would be worried if she had to hunt the shards without a protector, or with an injured one. Inu-Yasha reached down and very deliberately set his claws. Four gashes, as deep as he could, from his ankles and up his sides. The next sets were from shoulders to wrists. Pain… enough pain to make him feel something other than the overwhelming ache in his heart. The gashes across his stomach this time were weak, the ripped muscles and tendons in his arms and wrists making it difficult to scratch, must less cut deeply.

He sat back against the tree, watching his blood flow, wondering if this time he would die, or if his wounds would heal first. She'd rejected him. There was nothing for him to live for now. If this attempt failed, he'd make another. And another, if need be.

Inu-Yasha was still in the tree when Kagome woke up and went hunting for him. The tree was the first place she looked. He always went there. She smelled the blood as she got closer, and began running, only to stop in absolute horror when she finally reached the tree. He was there… and this time, it looked as if she was too late.

His ravaged body hung in the tree. Sometime during the night, he'd finally lost consciousness, and fallen. The necklace had caught on a small branch, one of his legs still over the one he'd sat in. If he hadn't slid the way he had, blood loss or suffocation would have killed him, but the necklace pulled against the back of his neck instead of across his throat. His once silver hair, nearly black now, hung limply, too heavy with congealing blood to blow in the morning breeze. Suddenly, Kagome's eyes narrowed. He couldn't be dead. He was still bleeding, she could see the trail of blood trickling from the hand that hung against the tree's trunk. After a moment's indecision, she screamed "Sit, boy!" figuring that it wasn't possible to hurt him any worse than he'd hurt himself.

The necklace lurched towards the ground, breaking the weakened branch that had held it. Inu-Yasha plummeted, landing in a sprawled heap. Kagome raced to his side and managed to discover that he was not only alive, he was healing. Slowly, but he was healing. Again, she went after some of the village men to help her get Inu-Yasha back to Kaede's hut.

"….Kaede? I don't understand. He's doing it to himself! Why?" It was Kagome's voice. Inu-Yasha kept his eyes closed, testing his surroundings by scent and sound alone.

"Aie, child, I know not. Were ye attacked by any strange creature when ye were hunting the shard?" From the sound, Kaede was fixing a meal. Fish and vegetables, it smelled like.

"No. We… we got caught in a snowstorm… but nothing attacked."

"A snowstorm? When was this?" There was no mistaking the surprise in Kaede's voice.

"It was… three days… no, four. It was the day before we returned to the village. The strangest thing I've ever seen, really. It came up just after we had stopped for lunch, and had almost all melted by the time we started for the village."

"Ah." Now the old woman sounded troubled. "Nothing attacked during the storm?"

"No. Well… I don't think so. It got so cold, Inu-Yasha had to carry me while he was looking for shelter. I passed out," Kagome admitted. "When I woke up… we were in a cave, and, well, Inu-Yasha was acting strange. He didn't even call me a bitch when I sat him! And he didn't say anything the whole way back, wouldn't eat the Ramen I made us for lunch… and then this started."

There was silence for some time, broken only by the rattling Kaede made as she cooked. Finally, she sighed. "Child, I know naught how to ask this delicately. Did ye and Inu-Yasha have sex?"

He heard her choke, and then the sound of Kaede thumping her back. Finally, the girl began breathing again. "Kaede! Don't ask things like that when someone's eating! You nearly killed me!"

"Ye answered not my question, child."

Another long period of silence. "I… yes."

"Ye chose this?"

He waited for her answer, holding his breath. Her voice was low, troubled, when she finally spoke. "When I woke up, he was sleeping on top of me. It took me a little bit to realize that we were naked, and that he was inside of me. When I yelled at him… he woke up… He was looking around like he expected to find an enemy in there with us! He looked so protective right then, until I asked him where my clothes were. Then… it was like he just got really confused. He said," there was a pause, "Well, actually, it was more like he was trying to say something, but couldn't talk. He said 'you didn't' a couple times, then jumped up and threw my clothes at me."

His ears flattened against his head. She didn't remember. She didn't remember. That whole, precious night… and she didn't know what had happened.

"Ye didn't…. Didn't what, I wonder. Perhaps finding that out, young Kagome, will answer why yon Inu-Yasha seems bent on killing himself."

He heard the rustle of her clothes as she moved. Then footsteps as she approached, settling next to him. "I don't hate him for what happened. He's my friend." His heartache intensified, and he whimpered in pain. She, his mate… only a friend? "Inu-Yasha?" The gentle touch of her hand on his face, a startled murmur. "Kaede! He is crying!"

Inu-Yasha opened his eyes, staring up at the girl. The anguish in those golden orbs startled her. "Oh, Inu-Yasha! What's wrong? Why are you doing this? What happened?"

He stared at her hopelessly. What could he say? There was nothing he could say. She had forgotten everything. Nothing he could tell her that she would believe. She wouldn't believe that she had initiated their mating… not after the reaction she'd made the next morning. He sniffed uncertainly, and his anguish deepened. After that reaction, how could he possibly tell her the mating had been successful?

"Inu-Yasha." Kaede now knelt beside him as well. "Tell me but one thing, did ye force Kagome?"

"No." It was the barest trace of sound, the stiffening of his body and the tightening of his features giving more of an answer than his voice was capable of.

"Ye marked her."

The slightest of nods. His eyes were locked on the old woman now. "Kagome, what reaction did ye have when ye woke. What did ye?"

"I…" She looked between the two, puzzled. "I asked for my clothes. And I sat him. A lot."

Kaede, watching the hanyou, saw the fierce pain that swept his features. "Aye. I see."

"See what?"

"Inu-Yasha believed ye were willing. He marked you as his mate," Kaede explained quietly. "And when ye woke, and punished him, he felt ye had rejected him. Being rejected by the one he has mated… has made him unwilling to live."

Kagome sat in silence, hand resting on Inu-Yasha's chest as she let that sink in. "Are you telling me that he's trying to kill himself because of something that I don't even remember?" she asked finally. This time, she saw the pain in his expression, anguish deepening in his eyes just before he closed them. "Because I don't remember having sex with him?"

"Nay, child, not sex. Ye do not remember mating with him. This is more than mere sex. For him, it is like a marriage."

"I got married and don't remember it!" Kagome screamed. "That's not possible! It's not!"

The tears, which had never really stopped, became heavier, and she felt the sob he held back. "Kaede. I need some time alone with him."

Kaede didn't protest. She went elsewhere for the night.

Kagome brushed the tears from his face. She pulled the blanket from him, and removed the bandages. He'd healed, so she washed the dried blood from his skin before replacing the blanket. "Open your eyes, Inu-Yasha. You are going to tell me everything."

He opened his eyes, but it was a very long time before he began speaking. When he finished, she sat quietly, wondering at what he'd said. "Don't hurt yourself anymore," she ordered him. "I need some time to… to think about this." She rose, heading for her bed, but his nearly silent question stopped her.

"Do you love me?"