Chapter XIX: Heavyweight Troublemaker

Samia endured as much of Molly's beating as she could and kept praying that Shawn would interfere—again. He had already pulled Molly off her twice when she went down for the count. Samia saw Molly set up for the Molly-Go-Round but she didn't have the strength to move. She closed her eyes, steeled herself for the blow, and prayed. Shawn didn't stop Molly because William Regal had come flying out of the back to ensure that he didn't interfere anymore. They had grappled at ringside, and at the crucial count, Shawn threw Regal through the ropes and into Chuck Robinson. He quickly took advantage when Molly tried to clothesline him for interfering and connected his foot with her chin. He tossed Regal from the ring and shook Robinson until he recovered. By then, Samia had put Molly into the Angel of Death—what the nWo was now calling her deathlock surfboard. Samia grabbed the belt and fled with Shawn before Molly or Regal came to enough to do any damage. She felt it a shame that she couldn't celebrate her victory in the ring.

After the match, Samia had made herself presentable and was fairly well rested by the time Terri approached Nash for their pre-arranged interview. Samia snubbed her nose at Terri when she asked if Samia would be involved. The new wrestler wouldn't have minded taking another swing at her but it wasn't worth it anymore. She would be stooping far below her status. Kevin and Shawn left the four of them in the room and set up with Terri right outside the door. Samia kicked back in front of the monitor, not really interested in what Nash and Shawn had to say since they were going to just bark about Nash still holding the belt and nobody being willing to challenge him.

However, her attention turned to the interview when she noticed Shawn, standing slightly behind the two and absorbed in his own world, pull black thong underwear out of his pocket. He arranged it on his head with the back of the thong centering his nose and the sides stretching across his cheeks. Samia gasped when she realized the black cloth was what she was wearing last night before a particular incident got them banned from the hotel pool. Does he not know where that strand of thread has been? she thought. Without hesitation, she dove for Shawn's bag and pulled out a clean pair of his bikini briefs. In seconds, she had her hair in pigtails and the green silk situated on her head, the pigtails poking out each of the leg holes. She bounced through the door, her blond hair bobbing, and sidled up to Shawn, feet apart and hands on her hips. All she needed now was a cape.

The look of shock on his face was well worth the embarrassment that the incident would afford her the rest of her life. He quickly recovered and reached out to straighten the underwear on her head before assuming their superhero stances throughout the last of the interview, which was extremely short after Nash noticed the two idiots. Needless to say, Nash was not the happiest person, but Shawn, Samia, Hunter, and Show couldn't quit laughing for at least an hour and a half.

Vince McMahon was slowly catching on to Samia's role in the nWo. He finally figured out that she was not just the token female but a "heavyweight" troublemaker on paper. He had personally taken to reading half of the documents and contracts the nWo claimed came from their "lawyers" since his own lawyers had previously failed to catch some of their finer points of legal wrestling "moves." He still was not aware of three-quarter of the things that had passed over his desk that ensured the nWo's staying one up on the rest of the wrestling world. He had passed off most of what they had done in the arena as nothing but ruthless aggression and classic nWo but they just continued to laugh at him behind his back. Since McMahon was wising up, the group set to careful planning. To begin with, they just instantaneously did what came to mind. Now, they were being more methodical in their moves and Samia was key in keeping it all straight.

The weeks slipped by as they plotted. X-Pac dropped the Intercontinental title to Jeff Hardy the one week half of them where on vacation. Samia had made provision for their time off with a legitimate rematch clause. X-Pac picked the belt back up the very next week. In a move by McMahon to get back at Samia, he demanded she defend her belt on SmackDown! for several matches but with only Nash accompanying her since he could cross over as the Undisputed champion. Shawn tried to convince McMahon that he was entitled to go as her valet. Since he couldn't pull that off, he bribed the bookers to set up her matches against Stacy Keibler, Torrie Wilson, and Dawn Marie. They weren't quite as easy as Jackie but she handled them just as well without the need for interference. Even when she wasn't defending, she and Nash made their trips to SmackDown! together. At first, Samia wasn't too happy about it but she had to stick with her team. Their friendship seemed to return as she slowly got over Nash's "tough love" act he pulled on her. After sacrificing Jackie as a peace-offering, he put on the big brother/little sister act. She and Kevin bounced back and forth together as companions despite who had the title match. On RAW, Shawn planned on pulling off Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda for Samia's title matches. She felt like Goldberg in his beginning run in WCW, except she knew there was no way she could hold her own when it came to going up against established women wrestlers.

Linda Miles was the closest woman that came to beating Samia on her own. Linda was classic textbook, obviously what had been drilled into her during Tough Enough II. Training from the nWo was hardly anything textbook, which Samia had going for her. She didn't even know half of the names of the moves she could execute. The problem with Linda was that it took a lot of hard hits to put her down for a count. She was taller and stronger but not smarter. Finally, after two facebreakers, Samia was able to put her on the mat for the Angel of Death. As she wrapped up Linda's legs, the crowd quickly quieted down. She heard the footsteps in the ring behind her and turned, only to be blind-sided by a pair of brass knuckles. Her first thought was Terri, so she was quickly up, wiping away a trickle of blood and ready to spear the smaller woman.

Except it wasn't Terri—it was Adrienne Bradley. Shocked, Samia stopped mid-stride, which was her first mistake. Adrienne took the moment of surprise to lash out with the steel chair she had brought with her and dropped in the ring right before she had punched the other woman with the brass knucks. Samia twisted around and all Adrienne got was her shoulder blades. Samia crumpled from the blow but was still conscious. She rolled out of the ring in hopes of escaping another attack. So, that's what it feels like to be hit with a chair, she thought and now considered herself an idiot for considering taking that chairshot for RVD as she waited for her bones to stop screaming at her. With over half the nWo streaming out of the locker room, Adrienne skirted around the ramp to hide. With them in the ring, she climbed up on the announcer's booth and jerked a microphone from Ross' hand. J. R. and Lawler had the most confused looks on their faces.

"I know it was you, Carlsen," Adrienne yelled, pointing down at ringside at the figure struggling to get control of herself.

Samia glanced around for a way to respond and grabbed Lilian's mike before stalking to the bottom of the ramp. "I don't guess being blonde helped you figure that one out, did it?" she evenly replied back. Hunter, Shawn, and Kevin gathered behind her, arms folded across their chests and menacing looks on their faces.

"Rob Van Dam was mine!" Adrienne's voice hit that pitch that only Stephanie McMahon could reach.

"You can keep him!" Samia retorted.

"You took care of him for me, didn't you? If Samia can't have Rob, nobody can?" she yelled, her heading bobbing to emphasize her words.

"Look, chick, I don't know where you get your delusions, but, newsflash, you deserved it. I guess, RVD just saw right through you. Cheaters and liars always get what's coming to them," she nonchalantly flicked out.

"And you ought to know, Carlsen. How's Shawn been doing, by the way? His back still holding up, cheater?"

Shawn took a step to make her eat those words, but Samia grabbed him by the arm and spoke to him, "This is my business." She turned back to Adrienne. "Cut the crap. What do you want?"

"You! In a match, next week. I have waited for four months, stuck in an office in Connecticut, demoted to hell because of you. I had to beg my way back on the road, and now that I'm back, you have to pay," Adrienne replied, noticing Lawler ogling her butt.

"You are so stupid, Bradley, you know that? You are no threat to me. So, next week, me and you, huh?" Samia asked.

"Just me and you. None of them," Adrienne clarified, kicking at Lawler, who quickly diverted his attention elsewhere.

"Puh-lease. I don't need them when it comes to you."

Adrienne opened her mouth to return her insult but Vince McMahon's music cut her off. The Chairman swaggered out with that smile that said only one thing—he was about to interfere in a way only advantageous to him. "Slow down, ladies. Nobody but me makes matches around here." McMahon turned to the enraged figure on the announcer's booth. "Adrienne Bradley, right? Rob Van Dam's ex-girlfriend? Oh, wait, the both of you are his ex-girlfriends." McMahon snickered at his joke, looking back and forth at Samia and Adrienne, but no one else acted amused. "Miss Bradley, you're just a stagehand. Yet, you think you can take on our women's champ, huh?" Adrienne confidently nodded in return to his question. He smirked, envisioning the revenge he was going to receive for Samia's "legal actions" with the notorious faction. "I tell you what, let's have a best two of three. Hmmm, a swimsuit contest next week, a tar and feather match after that, and last, how about a bra and panties chocolate match?" Vince suggested with a lascivious grin and the crowd went wild. The men didn't care which women were fighting as long they looked good in a bikini doing it.

Samia was enraged but Adrienne was grinning ear to ear. McMahon continued, "The nWo is banned from the ring for the matches. I do have the power to fire any one of you who interferes." He turned on his heels and took a few steps to leave but then wheeled around. "Wait, I've got one spot left for the Divas calendar." He looked Adrienne up and down and then Samia. She was sickened at the look on his face. "I think one of you should do just fine. Problem is, there's only one spot. The winner of this series will have the privilege of being Miss September." With that, McMahon was gone.

When they returned to the locker room, Shawn had to shove Samia in the shower, fully dressed, to get her to calm down. The water choked her and forced her to quit yelling. He turned the water off and pushed a towel in her face. "Done?" She nodded in between coughs. "Sure?" he asked and she nodded again. "Positive?"

"I've shut up, haven't I?" she choked out.

"Fine," he quickly replied, raising his arms in surrender. "I'll get your things so you can finish."

Finish? You started it, she angrily thought but didn't feel like fighting with him. So she slipped out of her gear and turned the water back on.

"September's kind of a boring month. I wonder what they'll put you in for the calendar," Shawn said, bringing in her toiletries. "Let's see, there's Labor Day...the leaves start turning colors...not to mention your birthday..." he mused, standing on the other side of the stall door.

"Just as long as I'm not stuck in some string bikini..." she muttered, peeling out of the wet lycra top.

"That reminds me. We need to get you another swimsuit for next week. That black thing you've got, that's not gonna do," he explained, looking her up and down as struggled with the soaked pants.

"That'll be just fine," she growled and jerked the stall door shut.

"Nah, you need to be in that thing Sable was wearing that one time. Hey, I'll supply the hand-prints."

At his comment, she stuck her head outside the stall. "Look, if I have to participate in this male chauvinist pig crap, I'm doing it on my own terms." Samia Carlsen, the well-respected career woman, with two degrees, now baring it all for eye candy. I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe that I want to be in the calendar, she thought, appalled at herself for actually picturing what theme they would use for her photoshoot.

"Whoa, I'm not a male chauvinistic pig!"

"You wish," she muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

TBC…