Chapter XX: Feathers, Chocolate, and Tar, Oh, My!

The swimsuit contest was a bust for Samia. She had finally agreed to a tiger print one-piece that was completely open in the back and almost the same in the front, since the V-neck stopped at her bellybutton. Adrienne had gone for something that was more of Sable's attire. If the wind blew, the three green scraps of cloths covering her would drift away. Needless to say, Adrienne won the first of the three, but not before Samia decked her after Lawler, the self-appointed judge, declared Adrienne the winner supposedly by the crowd's vote. Samia stalked off before Adrienne could retaliate. She wasn't taking the chance of the bathing suit being ripped off and her body completely exposed to the horny men in attendance. Her opponent was about humiliation and that would definitely work.

The next week brought the tar and feather match and Adrienne was one up. Samia was ready for this one. At least, she could put in some of her wrestling ability. Adrienne came at her immediately with fists flying. She caught Samia on the cheek before Samia could get anything in on her. Adrienne grabbed her hair and dragged her away from the side of the ring. She straddled her and began banging her head against the mat. Samia finally threw her off and scrambled for the bucket of what she hoped was chocolate or of like substance. She wanted this over with as soon as possible. Adrienne speared her from behind as she bent over to grab the bucket. Samia slid out from under her and centered her back with an elbow drop. The bucket was within reach and her hand almost closed around the handle when Adrienne jerked her away. Samia rolled onto her back and kicked her away. She grabbed the bucket and threw its contents at Adrienne. Adrienne rolled away just in time to miss the "tar."

"No more tar, Bradley. I guess we have to quit," Samia grinned.

"Think again," guest referee Lawler—who would have guessed—commented as one of the crew handed him another bucket. Adrienne only laughed as she pulled herself up with the ropes.

Carefully avoiding the chocolate spot on the ring, Samia charged her and clotheslined her over the top rope. She slid out of the ring and rolled Adrienne back in. Samia jerked her up by the hair and then brought her down for the facebreaker. Knowing there was no point in putting her in the deathlock, she took her time in pouring the contents of the bucket all over Adrienne. The feathers went everywhere as she dumped them from the cloth bag. Samia pulled her up for one last punch and let her fall back down to the mat. She opened her mouth to insult her but sucked a feather down her throat instead. Lawler raised her arm in victory but she jerked it away and hurried backstage in hopes of finding something to keep her from choking to death on that feather.

She was still picking feathers out of her stuff the next Monday night. The shorts and halter top she had worn for the match still hadn't come clean from whatever that stuff was in the bucket that had splattered over the outfit. This time, she knew it would be chocolate. She donned her purple lacey bra and panties and wrapped herself in a robe of the same color before stepping foot in anyone's presence, particularly the nWo. Hunter had mercilessly teased her about this whole mess with Adrienne, and she wasn't giving him another reason to make a crack before the match. Shawn begged for a peek all the way to the entrance and, as her music started, she flashed him but then darted through the curtains. It wasn't like he and the entire world wasn't about to see it.

Adrienne was waiting in the kiddie pool that was always used for mud matches. She already had a chocolate syrup bottle in her hands. The stipulations were that all six Sam's Club-sized bottles of chocolate syrup had to be used before one's opponent could be pinned. Just pouring out the syrup called for a DQ. Samia stepped into the pool and reached down for a bottle without taking her eyes off of Adrienne. Lawler was once again "ring-side" as the guest referee. Before he could signal the match to start, Adrienne took aim and began squirting. Samia turned her back and tried to pry off the top of bottle—if she could get the lid off instead of just squirting it, this would got much faster. Adrienne jerked her down by her hair and continued to squeeze out the bottle's contents. Samia was on her feet and successfully got the lid off. She elbowed Adrienne and turned the bottle up over Adrienne's head. She hoisted her up for a DDT and brought her down on the outside of the pool. Samia grabbed Adrienne's bottle and finished it off. She slung the syrup all over Adrienne as the other woman dove for another bottle.

Samia had the next bottle in hand and was popping the lid off of it when Adrienne got her straight in the face. She tried to get the chocolate out of her eyes as Adrienne jerked her backward, causing her land to flat on her back. Samia could feel more chocolate being squirted over her as she struggled to get the syrup out of her eyes and then to get to her feet. She grabbed Adrienne by the knees and brought her down. Two more bottles were left and Samia popped the lid off of another and quickly poured it out on Adrienne. She headed for the other one but slipped and cracked her tailbone. Adrienne pounced on the other bottle and began squirting her again. Samia barely managed to get up for the jarring pain in her back, but once on her feet, she tackled Adrienne, jerking the half-empty bottle from her hands and prying off the lid.

Instead of pouring the rest on Adrienne, Samia turned to Lawler who had just made a comment about licking the chocolate off her butt. He spluttered as the chocolate hit him full force in the face. She turned back to Adrienne and dragged her up from the floor, jerking her into a couple of armbreakers. Samia tried to set Adrienne up for the facebreaker but she slipped out of her hands and landed with a thud in the center of the pool. Lawler made another comment about the winner's puppies needing a bath and then offered his services. Samia stalked over to Lawler and landed a nice upper-cut. She returned to Adrienne and set her up for a suplex. While she was in the air, someone pushed Samia down from behind. She landed face-first in chocolate and was too dazed to immediately get back up. She could tell someone was trouncing Adrienne by her grunts and by accompanying male curses and then she heard Lawler call for the DQ. She wiped the syrup out of her eyes in time to see Steven Richards drop Adrienne to the floor outside the pool and kick her.

"That'll teach you to break up with me for that pussy RVD," Richards shouted at her. Samia was pissed at him for interrupting the match and for beating a woman up like that, even if it was Adrienne. She tapped him on the shoulder and swung at him as he turned around. She caught him on the jaw and he staggered before grabbing her by the hair and driving her face into the bottom of the pool. He picked her back up for God-only-knew-what but she fell to the floor as Rob Van Dam came running down the ramp. Richards turned tail and ran. RVD pulled Samia up to a sitting position and pushed the chocolate-covered strands of hair out of her face.

"You okay?" he asked. She blinked back and nodded, still too dazed to know who was helping her. He left her to check on Adrienne and directed Lawler to help her. Samia's head finally cleared enough to realize that it was Rob bent over Adrienne's body. Van Dam stood and came back to Samia.

She struggled up before he got back to her. "Get the hell away from me!" she yelled at him. "Just go on back to her!" She shoved him and slipped in the chocolate again. He caught her and eased her back down to the floor. Shawn was finally there and pulled her away from RVD. His glare was enough for Van Dam to throw up his arms and walk off from the disaster area.

So much had just happened that Samia's mind was reeling. She wanted to know what had just gone on but there was too much to think about. By the time she had finally gotten the syrup showered off, Nash had returned to the dressing room with some news. He had beaten Richards within an inch of his life to find out why he had attacked to the two of them. Apparently, he and Adrienne had hooked up in the independent circuit and he had gotten her the stagehand job. She dumped Richards for Van Dam after he and Samia split. The valet turned wrestler was amazed at how long someone could hold a grudge and wait for revenge.

As Nash finished the story, a knock sounded at the door and Kevin opened it to find none other than Vince McMahon on the other side, asking for Samia. He quickly informed her that she and Adrienne would be sharing the spot for the month of September since neither of them had won the match. Before the news could settle in, McMahon quickly exited. She was so enraged that her face started turning a dark shade of red. She could handle not winning the spot on the calendar but she couldn't handle having to share it with Adrienne. Shawn had to threaten to put her back under a cold shower if she didn't calm down. With the thought that the shoot wouldn't be for some weeks more, she pushed the anger from her mind to keep from being soaked again fully clothed.

Amidst all this, the right moment reared its ugly head for a pay-per-view tag-team title match. Samia and HBK got their men in against Billy and Chuck at SummerSlam. She was the only one to come to the ring with them, despite the obvious pain she was still in from the last match with Adrienne. Her back wouldn't be the same for a couple of weeks.

No doubt, Rico was there with his "boys." Samia studied him throughout the match until she was sure he was getting so frustrated he was about to interfere. Casually and with hands up, she approached Rico. "Quick fashion question, please."

"Okay, what is it?" he asked, still facing the match. She worked him around until he was facing the ramp.

"Do these pants look alright? I mean, does my butt stick out in them?" She twirled for him.

"They look fine. They could be tighter though," he responded, glancing over his shoulder at the match.

She tried to regain his attention. "These boots alright with them? Are they too clunky?"

"No, they could be clunkier. You probably should have went with patent leather though. It would make them stand out." Rico started to turn back around to the ring.

"What do you think about putting highlights in my hair?"

"More red highlights? No, you might think about dying your hair an auburn color though." Rico picked up a lock of her hair. "Girl, you need a trim. You've got split ends."

"I thought about a new cut. What's your opinion?" she asked, excited that she had his full-attention.

"You could try it this way…or this way." Rico said, fiddling with her hair until he heard the bell signal the end of the match. Samia quickly darted around him to join Triple H and the Big Show in the ring before Rico could realize that Billy and Chuck had lost the belts and she had distracted him enough to keep him out of the ring. The look on his face was well worth the risk taken.

The next night at RAW was an event for the nWo to gloat over all of their belts. Shawn launched into his usual oratorio. He went on about how everyone in the nWo that was physically able had a belt and how they held all of them but two, the two no one really cared about. He could talk on and on, so Samia made herself comfortable, perching on the top turnbuckle in one of the corners. At the mention of Triple H and his belt, he stretched and lounged back in the corner on her. Kind of irritated, she flicked his ear. Hunter flicked her shin in response, probably hard enough to bruise. "You are begging for it," she whispered in his ear as she rubbed her shin. Her next move was to flick both of his ears at the same time.

"Don't make me get even," he said, glancing over his shoulder at her.

"Oooh, scare me," she replied, pinching him on the side underneath his armpit.

"I'm warning you."

She got him on the other side. "Or you'll do what?" he playfully whispered.

Before she knew what was going on, he swept her off the turnbuckle into a fireman's carry and began twirling her. Shawn had to stop in the middle of his vocal run and was about to direct Nash to stop them but he was already on it. Hunter unceremoniously dropped her and they knew they were in trouble when they got back to the dressing room.

"Really, guys? Can the two of you stay out of trouble for five minutes?"

"Not when we're bored," Triple H replied, trying to get a bigger rise out of Shawn.

"Five minutes, in the ring. That's all I was asking," he said, staring Hunter down.

"You can put underwear on your head and get away with it but we can't have any fun, is that it?" Hunter demanded of Shawn. He didn't answer but turned his gaze on Samia.

"He started it," she stated bluntly.

"No, I didn't. She started it." Hunter pointed at her.

"I did not. You did," she accused him back and slapped at his hand.

"No. You did," he replied and slapped back at her.

"Will you kids knock it off?" Nash bellowed from across the room. They both quickly shut up.

Triple H leaned over to her to whisper, "I think I like picking on you more to irritate them than to irritate you." She tried not to bust out laughing as she thought the same thing about annoying him. Samia was finally started to enjoy their camaraderie.

"You're outvoted, chick. See you in a few minutes," Nash said, opening the door and shoving her out. Once again, Samia was on her way to find them something to munch—they were all bottomless pits twenty-fours a day. She had taken about four steps when three guys came crashing down the hall with a referee following behind. The hardcore match looked to be in full swing and she ducked back inside, slamming the door and leaning up against it to escape accidental bodily harm.

"Hey! Where's our food?" Triple H wasted no time in asking. Then the thought hit her like a lightning bolt—Steven Richards currently held the hardcore title. Just a little payback was about to happen.

"They tried to attack me," she whispered, trying to act all shaken up as she pointed at the door.

"Who?" Shawn asked, getting up from the couch. The brawling got louder in the hall.

"Bradshaw and Tommy Dreamer," she answered and Nash and Triple H bounded through the door after practically tossing her aside. She grabbed one of her Singapore canes she always carried with her now and followed them. Bradshaw and Dreamer were trying to fight off the nWo and still get to Steven Richards. Before he could see her, Samia laid into him with her cane several times. She rolled him up for the pin and then took off for the dressing room with the belt dangling behind her. Nash and Triple H finally figured out what had just happened as she streaked by and did the same, all of them taking refuge in the lockerroom to let the three brawlers on the other side figure out what just happened.

"I can't believe you," Shawn barely said though his laughter and hugged her.

"You have been around us way too long," Big Show added, holding up the belt and running a hand over its surface.

"I just couldn't help myself when y'all had the other two down. It was ripe for the taking. So, when do we hit the ring? I have two belts I need to show off." She was too wrapped up in the moment to realize that she was holding the hardcore title. Her only thoughts were that she just wouldn't move out of sight of the nWo and she'd worry about title matches when she got to that bridge—she definitely wasn't thinking about the consequences. Even Molly had held the belt at one time and survived.

Samia arrived at the time the photographer had indicated on the second memo. She faked the stomach flu to get out of the shoot but it was rescheduled. The woman had hoped that they would just go ahead without her. When she received the second memo, she called the photographer to decline, saying that Adrienne could have the spotlight alone. A call came into her cell phone within ten minutes of hanging up with the photographer—it was McMahon. He quickly reminded her that it was in her contract to act in accordance with any stipulations as the consequence of a match—or be fired. She could suck it up for a few hours.

However, her stomach had been sick all day from dreading the shoot and Samia wondered if she really did have the stomach flu this time. Upon arrival, she found out that she and Adrienne were the last two of the day and all the other divas had already left since they were running ahead of schedule. She didn't see Adrienne until after she had been ushered through make-up and wardrobe and had already posed for a few pictures. When the photographer had put her in white skimpy lingerie and stuck a halo on her head, she asked how it was supposed fit in with September. He rudely replied that that idea had been thrown out and the calendar was whatever he wanted to make it. She just assumed he was going along with the "angel" theme that Shawn had started. That is, until Adrienne was shown into the room wearing a revealing devil's outfit. It was all Samia could do not to walk out.

The two continued to glower at each other throughout the shoot and earned a few rebukes from the photographer. They kept their selves in check well until he handed them feather pillows and told them to have at it. He finally stopped the fight when it got out of hand and put them close together in suggestive poses with feathers still floating around in the air. When he finally called it a wrap, Samia bodily shoved Adrienne off her and punched in the face. She struck oil as Adrienne's nose began to bleed. She jerked the halo from her head, kicked off the high heels, and waited for Adrienne to retaliate. Adrienne only rushed off to find something to stop the flow, which was getting pretty bad, before she bled all over everything. Massaging her knuckles, Samia called after her, "In case you didn't figure it out, that meant 'stay away' for good."

TBC…