Heller bound into the room, anxious to see Jack but also aware that he had to be professional. He tried to hide his thoughts from his face as he approached Jacks fragile frame, he looked very ill; but of course he looked excellent compared to the mess he had returned from China as. He was relieved to see he still looked like himself, only tired and worn; but the fleck of determination still shone in his eyes, Heller noticed almost instantly. They were both putting up barriers for the debrief, but were either of them strong enough to hold back the fury of emotions they needed to release?
"Sir," Jack greeted officially, not raising his hand for the man to shake, knowing it would only tangle the wires and tubes running into his arm.
"Jack," Heller said warmly, making himself comfortable in the cold plastic chair before placing his hand on the mans knee and squeezing it in a friendly gesture. He took a moment to look down at Jack making sure he had the right knee, trying not to stare at the thickly bandaged leg and foot which were pinned into position to prevent damage from movement. Jack saw the uncertainty and took it as a hesitation, but before his face could burn with embarrassment or resentment he realised at the soft touch that Heller was merely greeting him, possibly even trying to offer his some comfort.
Jack was struck off guard by the movement, Heller's presence was supposed to be on a work related matter. The suit alone showed that this was no social call, Jack wouldn't have allowed it if it were. He watched as Heller made himself more comfortable, now sceptical of the mans intentions. He had to be angry and disappointed in Jack, but if so why was concern radiating from him? Curious, Jack told himself he had to be careful, Heller could be very manipulating when he wanted to be, he had to make sure he didn't play into the mans hands unnecessarily.
"As you know I'm here to get the first draft of your debrief sorted." He paused for a moment, before deciding to go on. "I apologise that this is the first time I've been able to see you properly Jack, but I understand and respect your decision too keep some people away… I just want you to know, David, Tony and myself, have all been worried sick about you since you first went missing. I… I was terrified and I will never forgive myself for-"
"Can we please get on with the debrief sir," Jack interrupted, feeling uncomfortable with Heller's confession. He wasn't angry at the man , deep down he was grateful for the kind words, but he knew he didn't deserve them and he was certain Heller didn't deserve to be troubled over Jack or the mess he had gotten himself into. He was as probably as ashamed as Jack was with himself for his cowardly confession, and rightly so. But guilt or regret? Jack knew the thought alone was ridiculous and that the man probably did resent him inside, for causing the government so much bother.
"Ah, okay, sure," Heller said, caught off guard by the interruption. He watched Jacks face but he betrayed nothing, increasing his own doubts about Jacks feelings towards him. He knew it would be selfish to feel sorry for himself, he deserved Jacks rejection, he just didn't like it.
"Where do you want to begin?" His voice was distant and cold, Jack almost didn't recognise it himself.
"Why don't we start at how you got so badly injured?" Heller knew it was better to dive right in, knowing his injuries would lead directly to the confession, once they covered that ground the government would be happy and could work more concretely on the Chinese, who were still trying to claim some sort of right to Palmer. The idea alone was ludicrous, they were just holding the demands off until they had spoken to Jack, then they would end the matter for good.
"Do you have the records from the prison?"
"Yeah," Heller said, waving one of the files he picked up from his lap, slightly confused.
"Why do you need my version of events, when I'm almost certain they provide a time line of events along with explanations for actions which were taken during my imprisonment."
Heller's eyebrows creased with sadness. Jack was going to be weary, he told himself as he decided to do this the confrontational way, he could try and bond with Jack once he was healed and free of charges. Until then, he realised, he should just do his job; it would make it easier on both of them.
"Yeah," he said absentmindedly as he flicked through one of the files, "I guess your right….So lets see, you were almost beaten and starved to death, and your foot and leg left almost non functional along with many other injuries, because you were physically abusive to both guards and prisoners?"
Heller saw the way Jacks head shot up as he herd the Chinese's explanation for his torture, but so did Jack as he quickly dropped it again, deciding to let the matter pass. What did it matter, he wondered, he couldn't reverse the damage they had done to him just like he couldn't reverse the betrayal his confession was to Palmer.
Jim watched as Jacks head sagged down, his hands absentmindedly swirling some of the bedding through his fingers as he fought with himself on what he should do. Heller saw the silent battle and tried to sway the result, leaning over closer to Jack, knowing he had to get the mans attention.
"You may have given in Jack, but all men break. I broke myself, a long time ago, and I didn't have any family to threaten; but I broke all the same .All men break… the strong ones are those who can get over it and go on with there lives. The brave men are those who know what's right and what's wrong… I'll submit whatever you decide, but if you give those files as your own record of events, we both know that's another injustice gone unquestioned. I don't think you want that, I know I don't want that, and we both know those records are full of shit…"
He paused to swallow hard, feeling a mixture of sadness and rage, Jacks eyes were repeatedly blinking as though he was trying not to fall apart.
"What's it going to be Jack," he asked quietly, allowing Jack the needed time and space to make his decision.
"There were no other prisoners," Jack whispered faintly, finally meeting the mans eyes, his own filled with sadness and sorrow.
Jack felt somehow lighter as he watched Heller toss the Chinese records into the bin without hesitation.
A small smile touched Heller's lips, "you made the right decision."