Chapter 4

On the side opposite

Severus didn't know how his feet carried him to the welcome darkness and silence of the Dungeons. Neither did he remember how he managed to avoid the caretaker Brutus along the way. When he (relatively) came to his senses, he was already in his dormitory, staring at the mirror with unseeing eyes.

After a while his blurry vision became focused again, slowly adjusting to the darkness of the dormitory, and Severus was finally able to discern his own reflection.

Through a long black fringe up at him were looking two dark eyes, standing out on the sheet-white skin, the pupils hardly smaller than the irises. His lower lip was swollen from all the biting he must have done on the way down here, and there was a drop of blood welling steadily on the right-hand corner. "Probably this is how Muggles picture vampires", he thought grimly. "What kind of nonsense is this?!" he asked himself furiously at once. He watched the red drop swell for a time, and licked it off before it trickled down to his chin. Sick of the sullen face staring back at him out of the shining glass, Severus turned away and went to sit on his bed.

"Why did this have to happen?" he asked the darkness around, not knowing that somewhere up in the Gryffindor Tower another boy was wondering the same thing.

So he sat, listening to the utter and complete silence, letting the misery grow until it seemed to fill his whole being, making his breath catch in his chest and his eyes sting, his heart pumping painfully fast against his ribs, punctuating the swirl of thoughts going on inside his head.

Thump. I didn't want this to happen.

Thump. Nor, probably, did he.

Thump. What gives me that idea, though?

Thump. What if he did it all on purpose, just to make me miserable and boast to his friends?

Thump. What if all the last year was just an act, a huge lie?

Thump. No, it couldn't be, he's a Gryffindor, and they're supposed to be honorable

Thump. Are they?

Thump. James is.

Thump. Why am I so certain about this?

Thump. Why should I believe him anymore?

Thump. Because he didn't cheat on me, but went and threw the news in my face instead.

Thump. Would it be better if he cheated?

Thump. No.

Thump. But at least I'd have an excuse to hate him right now.

Thump. Do Slytherins need excuses to hate someone, though?

Thump. No, they only need reasons, the rest doesn't matter.

Thump. What are my reasons, then?

Thump. He gave me something no one ever offered, and then took it away, with a piece of myself in tow, leaving me less than I have been before, and so much more at the same time.

Thump. I hate him because I will have to cope with it by myself from now on.

Thump. I hate him, because I still love him, and that is the worst part of the situation.

He couldn't bear the serene sleepiness of the dormitory anymore, it was weighing on him, threatening to suffocate him – or drive him mad.

He leapt off his bed with a jerk and tore across the dormitory, tripping on a stray shoe along the way.

Nearly falling through the door into the Common Room, he cursed furiously and straightened up, gasping for air. The vast Common Room was silent, but for the weak crackling of the fire dying slowly in the grate. Severus drew a long breath. The spacious coolness of the room drowned a bit of the strain he was feeling right now, he felt less constricted and slightly better.

He chose the armchair near the fireplace and collapsed in it, reviving the flames with a half-hearted "Incendio". As he watched the tongues of fire leaping up and bending in all directions, Severus' anger subsided, and he fell into a phase of cold numbness, neither knowing, nor caring how much time had passed.

Thus, he did not notice neither the gentle creak of the door, or the sound of footsteps, muffled by the thick carpet. However, the smooth drawl of Lucius Malfoy's voice, coming from somewhere behind him startled him into attention.

"And what would you be doing out of your dormitory at two in the morning, Snape?"

"Oh, great!",- Severus snarled inwardly. What he surely did not need right now was getting cornered by Lucius Malfoy, without the faintest chance of escaping an interrogation. Because an interrogation was most likely what he would go through. He would quite gladly accept detention instead. Hell, a week's worth of detentions would seem paradise compared to this torture!

Slowly, he turned his head in the direction whence the words came and, surely enough, spotted the speaker standing in the shadows, leaning leisurely on a particularly large and ugly candelabra, his pale eyes reflecting the firelight.

"I could ask you the same question, Malfoy",- he answered softly, trying to keep his voice even, his face smooth and blank, and maintaining a steady eye-contact. He thought he caught a glint of amusement in the older Slytherin's eyes, but chose to ignore it, frantically searching for an escape route.

"Why, yes, you could ask the question, but, I'm afraid, you would not get any answer." – was the mocking reply.

Severus fought hard not to retort. Maybe if he just kept silent he would be left alone? Malfoy, however, showed no intention of leaving him alone. Quite on the contrary, he seemed determined to make him feel worse, if possible, than he already felt. He proved it by leaving the candelabra in peace and coming to sit on the couch to bother him instead.

"Well?",- came the sneering drawl.

"'Well' what?" – Severus spat.

Lucius Malfoy looked long at his outstretched hand, examining his fingernails concernedly before finally turning to Severus. In the flickering light of the fire, Severus noticed that Malfoy was not wearing the usual school robes – he donned black trousers and sweater, with a white shirt underneath, the whole covered by a long cloak, instead. As far as Severus understood, this particular style was the height of class.

The second glance showed that the trademark platinum hair, usually slicked back, was now interestingly windswept, the fringe falling into his eyes.

I wonder... Severus wasn't given the chance of developing the thought any further, as Malfoy finally spoke.

"'Well', what-the-bloody-hell-are-you-doing-in-the-common-room-after-hours?" – the sentence came in one breath, and his voice somewhat lost its drawling quality, sounding sharp, harsh, and irritated.

Severus noticed this sign of imminent danger, but paid no heed to it. Something woke inside him that had been lying dormant for almost a year, and now was desperate for a fight. If the look on Malfoy's was any indication, the fight was well on its way.

"Why don't you just go to your dormitory and straight to that cozy bed of yours, Lucius? You seem to have had a rather ... busy time" – Severus said with mock concern, his eyes traveling over the other Slytherin. He was now being blatantly disrespectful towards authority and thoroughly enjoying it.

The Sixth Year's face was deathly pale for rage, but his movements were deliberately slow as he produced a wand from a hidden pocket and started twirling it between his fingers, squinting his eyes slightly.

"You seem so reluctant to tell the truth, Severus... maybe I should just hex you into it?"

Severus' hand flew to his own wand, as he stood up.

"You can always try, Malfoy. Any curse you might use, I will deflect"

Malfoy stood up, too, in a graceful, fluid movement, looking him up and down, with a steely glint in his eyes and a cruelly amused curve to his mouth.

"Any curse, you say? Why, you are being just as arrogant as the Potter brat now, Snape- "

Severus did not hear the rest of what Malfoy had to say. Before his brain could interfere, without consideration, or, indeed, any coherent thought, he sent a Reductor curse straight at the blonde head. Malfoy ducked only just in time. Right behind him, a candelabra was reduced to dust.

"Thinking about the Unforgivables, are you, Malfoy? Well, compare me to damned James-Gryffindor-Chaser-Could-Be-Seeker-Potter just once more, and you'll find yourself on the receiving end of one."

Severus' voice was barely above a whisper, but, strangely, it seemed to carry through the Common Room as if he'd shouted. Malfoy's drawl transformed into a hiss, as he replied:

"Keep talking, Snape, and you'll earn yourself a nice little jet of green light straight in the chest."

Perfectly undeterred, Severus made three slow steps towards Malfoy, until he was an inch away from his wand tip.

"Oh, so they finally told you about Avada Kedavra, did they? Well, you've got a fine chance to test it now. But, I'm afraid, if you will, there'll be no Headboyship for you any time soon. Coming to that, there'll be no Seventh Year, either. But, by any means, – go on, say the words and let's see if it works"

Saying those last words, Severus tilted his head to one side, smirking, his eyes locked with Malfoy's. His surprise was enormous when, all of a sudden, Malfoy hid his wand, chuckling.

"Well, well, well. So we have got an attitude, then. Good."

Overcoming his temporary bewilderment, Severus scowled, crossing his arms.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That means",- Malfoy flopped back onto the sofa, - "that I was not mistaken in you, Severus"

"What the hell are you going on about, Malfoy?" – Severus breathed out, striving to comprehend.

"Tell me, Severus, have you ever considered your future?" – the Sixth Year inquired in a businesslike tone.

Severus sat down, his eyes glued to the older Slytherin's face. Malfoy nodded thoughtfully.

"I knew you didn't. But that is perfectly understandable – you're only a Fourth Year. However, I have to tell you this – the Wizarding World is at war now, as you know full well, and your whole life depends on what side you choose. Will you stand by the pathetic Ministry we now have, with all their waffle about equality and disregard for blood? Or will you join the new power that has risen and strengthened in the last years? This power will bring a new order to things, setting the world as it should be – no more Mudbloods, Squibs and far less Muggles..."

Severus let Malfoy talk for a long time, all the while processing what he was hearing, and thinking it over. Lucius was talking about joining a new power, opposing itself to the ministry and what he knew as the rules. And leading that power was a Dark Lord, whose name nearly all the Witches and Wizards feared to speak – Lord Voldemort.

Severus knew of his methods, and of his ideas, and what he knew was quite enough to fill him with dread. But then, the same ugly thing within him that had lifted its head when he was about to fight Malfoy stirred yet again, whispering to him.

Once you join the Dark side, there will be no one to tell you what you can or can't do. You join, and experiment with curses on whomever you want to. You join, and you get your revenge at everyone.

Severus shivered at the thought. Yes, he wanted revenge. He wanted blood. He wanted to make James Potter's life a hell, for a lost year of his life. For once, between the two of them, he will retaliate.

Lucius smiled widely to himself, watching the retreating back of the Fourth Year kid he just convinced to join the Dark Side. The boy was pathetic in many ways, really – take his looks for instance... the tatty robes, the rather greasy hair... Lucius frowned. He watched Severus Snape for a longer time than the boy knew, and at times he was positively sure he looked different. It lasted all the Third Year – his hair wasn't as bad as usual, nor were his clothes... And now it all ended abruptly, and Severus refused to tell what kept him up for so long tonight.

I wonder... Lucius smirked to himself. Oh, he will drag it out of his new protégé, sooner or later. Later seemed more probable, but he did not mind. He imagined how he'd feel, admitting being dumped by some girl. Although, that never happened to him.

After a time, he extinguished the flames in the fireplace with a lazy flick of his wand, and found the way to his Dormitory in total darkness, still wearing a very self-satisfied grin.