A/N: Sorry for not updating. O.o I've... been busy.
Lloyd: She's officially gone over to the dark side.
Genki: ...excuse me, Star Wars Boy?
Lloyd: You've abandoned the GameCube for your "new" PS2! How could you?
Genki: By playing KH for a straight 6 and a half hours because I "needed" to find out what happened?
Lloyd: ...you are now Darth Genko.
Genki: O.o;

Disclaimer: Darth Genko doesn't own anything. ...HOW AM I GENKO?

Lloyd: Haha.

Hotties Gone Amuck
Chapter 3

"TAAAAAAAAAA-- Ow!" Yuan rubbed his head, now having a bump thanks to a random flying stick. "What-was-that-for-Lloyd?"

"For bein' an idiot."

"But we're the Stupid Heroes, Lloyd! It's our so-called 'duty' to be idiots," Genis butted in. At first, the brunette was disgruntled, but a smile appeared across his face as he leaned over and whispered something in the mage's ear. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"But it does!"

"What does?" Zelos walked over, staring at Yuan for a few seconds as he fondled the stick.

"Genis rhymes with..."

"MY REAL NAME IS GENIUS! FOR SOME REASON, EVERYONE TAKES OUT THE FREAKIN' 'U'!" Genis was not a happy boy at that moment in time, so the two others took a huge step back. (1)

"Eh?" Kratos ran over, stealing the stick on the way. "I shall name him Frederrick, and Frederrick he shall be forever." (2)

"YOU-STOLES-THE-PRECIOUS!" the crazy blue-haired angel crawled over and hissed at him. "THE-PRECIOUSSSSSESSSSNESSMEATESSSSS..."

"Meat?" the three that were not over four-thousand years of age asked, wondering what meat had to do with the common impression of Golem.

"Meat on a stick, dur!" The possessor of the stick skipped away and returned with a deer on the teeny rod of wood. "Meat..."

"THE PRECIOUSSSSSSSEEEESSSSSSTICKMEATESSSSSSSS..." Suddenly, Yuan leaped up, snatched the now dead animal, and began to rip it apart with his teeth. Everyone including Kratos backed away slowly, the sight grotesque. "I need the precious to enjoy such a feast!"

"That's absolutely disguisting," Zelos said, looking at the ocean. That's when he noticed something yellow... "What the hell?" He walked towards the yellow thing and noticed that it was, in fact, an automobile. More importantly, he noticed the driver of it. "Regal? What the..."

"My new job is to show up randomly throughout the fanfic and fill in the random character gaps. And I could be of some use later on. Right now I'm a taxi driver!"

"Um, riiiiiight... Did you hear Yuan calling for you?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"True, true..." Zelos nodded. He folded his arms across his chest in deep thought. "But, how does a taxi float through water?"

"Um, by ignoring the fact that it's highly impossible?"

"Sure, that works!" The Tethe'allan turned, cupped his mouth with his hands, and yelled, "YO EVERYBODY! GET IN THE TAXI BEFORE I GIVE YOU A HAIR CUT!" Zelos was run over as the four others crammed into the car with maximum speed: nobody wanted their precious hair cut!

"PRECIOUSSSSSSSESSSSHAIRNESSS..." Feh, whatever Yuan. Anyway, Zelos crawled inside as well, and five bodies were jammed in the back as Regal tipped his fancy-pancy hat.

"So, where will it be, boys?"

"To the Yellow Submarine!"

"Ehh?" Regal blinked. "I don't know where that is!"

"But... taxi drivers are supposed to know where everything is!" Kratos explained, imitating Colette's "make-two-fists-and-bob-them-up-and-down-in-opposition" motion, punching Lloyd and Genis in their faces. "How do you not know where it is?"

"Uhh..." You could see Regal's eyes blinking in the rear-view mirror. "I mean, of course I know where it is. Let's just ignore that it doesn't make sense..." and the car dove underwater, as the little yellow vehicle drove-- er, swam-- ...er, dram through the water.

Meanwhile... at the Yellow Submarine...

"So... you are finally here. Welcome... to my humble submarine." A dark voice called, from behind the dark chair in the dark half of the room. "To your left, you will see total DOOM, while to your right, you will see complete DAMNATION. MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

"Why are we here, who are you, and where the hell are the party favors?" Raine demanded, previously creeped out from the evil cow laugh.

"I am... your worst enemy! I'm... YOUR MOM!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" All four girls collasped on their knees, pulling their hair.

"You idiots! It was a joke!" They blinked, and looked up from where they had been attempting to skin their heads... I guess. "I am..." The chair quickly spun out as the obvious culprit was revealed.

"Oh my god! Orlando Bloom!" The giddy fangirls chased after him around the room, when Mithos walked in and threw a brick at the hot English actor, scaring him away. "Nuu! Why did you chase him away, you bastard?"

"Because this is my submarine, fools!" he growled. "Now, gnomelettes!" The little people filled up the rest of the floor space. "Please guide them into their quarters that I had arranged especially for them!"

"Yes sir!" To make a long story short, the girls were shoved into a room, and eventually, everyone died. Except the angels.

But let's go back a few years, shall we?

Awhile back, into the taxi...

"Geez, I suck at this game..." Kratos sighed.

"What game?" Lloyd asked, curious.

"The ABC game! You look for the letters A through Z on the sign. But I can't find Q..."

"How did you get to!-- Oh, forget it." He stopped caring at this point.

"Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet-Are-we-there-yet..." the blue-haired angel asked.

"No, damn you! Ask one more time..."

"...is our destination close in sight?" Regal pushed a big purple button and Yuan became a projectile through the water.

"Wasn't this joke used before?" Genis asked. He received several blank stares. "What? Oh! We... don't have scripts. Of course not."

"Don't worry, Genis, we'll pick him up on the way. He's an angel, he won't drown." Regal replied to the question that was never asked. Way to read your script!... er... oops.

"YAY FREDERRICK! NOW WHILE HE'S GONE, LET'S MAKE..."

"That's so gross! Not when there's others in the backseat with you, all right?" The other three crammed into the corner. Kratos blinked as he began to chat with the stick.

"I think he was trying to say, 'let's make good conversation.'"

"Regal, how does that make sense?" Zelos asked.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE THE THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE! LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! OPRAH WINFREY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

"But she makes others happy!"

"She makes me sick!" It's true... stupid bitch.

"Nuu! Stop.. attacking me!" The young sage was waving his Gameboy back and forth in the air, as if it was gonna make miracles happen in his gameplay.

"Genis, you stupid cheerio! What are you playing?"

"Pokémon Puzzle Challenge," he sobbed. "It's harder than it looks! It's worse than Yoshi's Tetris Attack! And... they have the same concept." Yuan was found pounding on the back window, a dark-themed Muffin Man theme song playing in the background. (3)

Back to the girl's headquarters...

"Wow!" Colette jumped up and down on her bed. "Look at me! I can fly!"

"You already could before," Sheena pointed out. Shrugging, the blonde continued to play on the bed.

"I wonder what Mithos wanted us for," the teacher thought outloud. Presea shrugged.

"Maybe he invited us over for burritos!" the angel cheered. "YAY BURRITOS!"

"Um, somehow, I doubt that..." the summoner replied, making Colette cry.

"Sheena is correct!" The man's voiced boomed, making everyone but Presea jump, since Presea is probably a robot. "You are not here for burritos! You're here for... ICE CREAM!"

"YAY!" All four cheered. The gnomelletes drove an ice cream truck through the wall and handed out ice cream cones to all of them. Quickly, the cold treat was splattered all over the carpeting. "Ew!"

"AHAHAA! YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!" Mithos ran in, wearing Ashton Kutcher's hat. "That was actually FROZEN YOGURT! That's what you get for voting me last for the Ultimate Hottie!"

"Well... wasn't it you who didn't eat the oyster pudding? You were too busy having a staring contest with Yuan..." Raine pointed out.

"Look! That was the nasiest stuff on Earth! If it hadn't been for Yuan, I would have won! Dammit, I would have enjoyed the delicacy of delicious pie!" And he began to pout.

"Then if it's his fault, why are you taking it out on us?"

"Because you were the judges, and I had nothing better to do since I took over the Yellow Submarine."

"Wait... you mean, this isn't yours?" Sheena asked. "Then... that means..."

"Mithos pwned the Submarine from Saint Nick," the pink-haired girl finished.

"PWNED? Oh no, you're saying it too!" And both Raine and Sheena broke down and cried. They just lost their precious Presea to the world of cyberchat. A chorus of "dundundun" was heard in the background.

"All right, ENOUGH!" Mithos yelled, gaining the stare of eight eyes. "You will remain here until furtherwise! BWAHA!" And he left in a hurry to eat some more frozen yogurt.

In the taxi...

Yuan was finally let back into the taxi. Shakily jitterly for the fear of going back out, he stole Fredderick from Kratos. "NUU! GIVE IT BACK, YOU MEANIE!" And, similar to four-year-olds, the two fought over Fredderick, until... he snapped in half.

There was complete silence. Then battle music on Genis' Gameboy began once more, which started the bawling. Zelos, Lloyd, and Regal shut their ears tightly, trying to block out the sound. Then, Lloyd being the smart guy he might be, took both halfs. "Um, look guys..." The bawling continued. "GUYS!" It stopped, leaving almost silence. "Now you guys can share Fredderick, see?" He handed one half to his father... "This is 'Fredde'," and handed the second to the other. "and this is 'Rick'."

"And that's why you're the Ultimate Hottie!" Both angels glomped him. Lloyd stifffened awkwardly.

"Does anyone else find this creepy?"

"DAMMIT LLOYD! THAT STUPID MURKROW KILLED MY TOTODILE! AGH!" (3)

"You're just a guy magnet, Lloydie..." Zelos smirked.

Regal sighed. "Are we there yet..."

A/N: Myah... it's finally done. X.x; Well, this chappie anyway. I'm bored. (snore)

(1) This was a joke in a previous fanfic I did, "Insanity Driven By Boredom." You won't find it on because it's a scripted one I posted on deviantART. You can find that one by going to my bio, homepage, and there's a link near the bottom.

(2) Pronounced "Frehd-er-rik." Get it wrong and I'll make turn you into tuna. Mm... tuna.

(3) Maybe I should explain what Genis is blabbin' on about. Pokémon Puzzle Challenge was a game for either N64 or Gameboy Color. There was also a game that came before it with almost the EXACT same play called Yoshi's Tetris Attack for the SNES. When Genis is yelling about his Totodile dying, he's playing Challenge. You only have so many characters (chances) until you... (dundundun!) GET A GAME OVER.

T.T Ehhhhhhh... well, my fiends, school has started once more. (sob) Oh well. Nyaahh... I dun wanna go to band tonight... (snore)