A/N: Lalalaaaaaaaa... I need to finish this sometime this year...

By the way, I had forgotten to mention: ANYTHING I SAY IN THIS FANFIC IS NOT MEANT TOWARDS ANYONE! ANY RUDE COMMENTS THAT MAY HAVE OFFENDED YOU, I'M SORRRRRRRYYYYYYY! I never intentionally mean to make fun of someone: so if something hurts your feelings, I don't mean it. Except Oprah. I wasn't lying about her. XP I'm not sure about the review about the seizure, like... how I had instigated (sp?) anything about that... but if I did, many apologies. (bows)

Disclaimer: ShimaGenki doesn't own. If you didn't know this by now... well... ...you're stupid.

Hotties Gone Amuck

Chapter 4

It was about four hours into the dram that Regal had to keep himself from banging his head against the steering wheel. Yuan was holding on to Rick for dear life, cuddling it and talking to it soothingly. Kratos was busy attempting to play pattycake with Fredde: but he kept claiming that his pal was poking him annoyingly instead. Lloyd was curled in a tight ball, doing his best not to go insane, while Zelos was trying to comfort him. Genis, on the other hand, was still playing his Gameboy, his angered yelling getting louder by each loss.

But then... the last straw that broke the camel's back...

The blue-haired angel gripped his hands gingerly on the seat that Regal sat in and said very loudly, "HEY REGAL, RICK'S GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

Or the last stick that broke the Regal's sanity, so to speak.

He began to screech like a monkey, and leaving the wheel unattended, he reached back and grabbed Fredde and Rick, using them as drumsticks around the seats and dashboard. Both angels sobbed loudly, while Lloyd crouched down behind the driver's side and remained there like a statue. The former Chosen and the mage leapt for the wheel: being the only reasonable ones at the moment.

"Cookie Lad!"

"Call me Cookie Lad again and I'll--"

"Genis, I can't reach over the seats, you'll have to climb over and drive!"

The silver-haired boy looked at his one obstacle: the mad ape of ... well, madness. "You must be kidding."

"You have to!" He pushed him right over and he landed square in the seat. He gripped the steering wheel (receiving a large amount of stick wounds on his head and right arm thanks to Regal) and stretched his foot to hit the gas.

"Houston, we've got a problem."

"Who's Houston?"

"I can't reach!"

"The...?"

"GAS PEDALS, STUPID!"

"Calm down, geez!" Zelos thought for a moment. "I bet I could reach over and turn. You'll have to get down and take care of the pedals."

"And if you can't?..."

"We're pretty much doomed."

"Oh, that's reassuring! NOT!" But of course, Genis didn't have much choice, so he crawled down into the hole under the wheel, while Zelos stretched uncomfortably over the driver's seat and headrest, his fingertips barely resting on the wheel. "Okay, I'm going to give it some gas!" And it was instantly noticed as the car shot forward in the water.

"HOLY CRAP! GENIS, SLOW DOWN!" the redhead's voice screamed.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Lloyd broke down and sobbed.

"GIVE US FREDDERICK!" And unsurprisingly, the angels and the president just didn't care if they died or not.

To Mithos' Kutcher's crib...

"I think we need to plot something," suggested Sheena.

"No shit, Sherlock," the professor replied sarcastically, gaining two rolling eyes.

"Ooooh! Let's have a sleepover!" the blonde suggested.

"That... is totally irrelevant," Presea said in a monotone voice.

"Oh... darn. Wait, I've got it!" She regained the attention of the other three. "Let's come up with a plan!"

"Congratulations, Colette. You failed life," Raine sighed.

"Would you like some ice cream girls? Yeh heh heh heh!" Mithos walked in, licking frozen yogurt on a cone.

"Haha. You are so funny, Mithos," the half-elf growled sarcastically. "But I must ask you something. How did you take over the submarine?"

"Why, it's quite simple! I..." And the blonde started his story and ranted on for a long while.

Meanwhile, the taxi cab gone mad...

"Genis! Hit the brake!"

"I am!"

"Great! Just great! The freakin' brakes don't freakin' work and now we're going to freakin' die!"

"I told you we were gonna die! I told you! I told you!

"Ugh... what... happened?" Regal rubbed his head, and began to feel nauseous as he sat in the passenger's seat in the front. He felt more like he had been drinking, but alcohol was not his "cup of tea." Well, he didn't like tea either. Point being, he didn't know why he felt so bad.

"You went bananas again. Get it? AHAHAHAA!" Zelos laughed obnoxiously at his own joke, but stopped when Genis' blue orbs shot anger right into his own. "Okay, geez, I thought it was funny..." (1)

"Did you forget about our on-coming death?" Genis asked, pointing down towards the brake pedal.

"Oh, I didn't forget. I'm just enjoying the last few moments of my life before I die. What a way to go..."

"What...what...?" Regal was so lost and confused.

"The brakes stopped working... we're gonna die... Kratos and Yuan... we're gonna die..." the twin swordsman continued to speak in short phrases.

"WHEEE! Look, a submarine!" Kratos pointed excitedly towards a huge yellow thing.

"Can we go? Can we go?" Yuan begged.

"Umm... if we weren't going to die, you could. But alas... we're gonna die," Genis replied shortly, producing more tears from the two.

"You suck! I hate you!" the Cruxis angels flew to the front and shoved the other two out of the way. "Activate... GRASSHOPPER LEGS!" A shiny purple button, located under the dashboard was pushed, but nothing seemed to happen... nothing but the taxi approaching the bottom of the sea faster.

"Oh, yeah, THA--" Zelos sarcasm was stopped as the vehicle came to a sudden halt. The rest looked outside, to see the car had landed perfectly on the bottom. "...Thanks."

"Now can we go?" Kratos and Yuan gave them the famous "open-yer-eyes-really-wide-an-make-em-feel-guilty" look.

"That... was the point in our journey..." Lloyd said slowly, trying to gain his once lost sanity back.

And to make a long story short... use your freaking imagination.

We all live in a Yellow Submarine... well, except panda bears. I don't know why.

"Master! We have identified ships coming our way!" Carl hopped in. The girls only stared for a few moments.

"YOU... YOU BIT MY HAND!" Colette broke down in sobs, and the rabbit backed up.

"W-well... y-ya see... th-that..."

"Ships! B-but... WHAT SHIPS!"

"Battleships, m'lord!" He held up a game box. Five sweatdrops (or more) came about from the round.

"You... suck. Go... do something productive."

"Yes sir." He was gone in a matter of five and one sixty-seventh seconds.

"This is really going nowhere," Sheena sighed.

"Yeah... I think the director's tired." Didn't we discuss this before, Mithos? I ain't here. "You were the last fanfic..." I'm not here, dammit! "Riiiiiiiiiight... You've got it comin'." What are you planning? "Nothing, nothing..." Mithos snickered, which really didn't cause any alarm for me.

"So... this is my vacation! Dammit! This sucks!" A certain someone received much attention from the occupants of the room.

"Lloyd! You're here!" Colette cheered.

"No. I am not Lloyd. I am... The Ultimate Hottie."

"How come your name gets bold!" Zelos cried.

"Because... I am special. Kinda like God in the Bible. He's got special font, 'cause He's special."

"This is so stupid..." Genis sighed. Yuan fainted about two seconds later. "What the hell?"

"His sugar intake has finally come to an end," Kratos explained.

"D-did... you... say something, calmly!"

"I... did?" He fainted as well, heaped onto the floor. Genis looked at Zelos for a few seconds, but then snapped his fingers, as he realized that the ex-Chosen wasn't going to tumble onto the flooring anytime soon.

"Okay, now I'm done watching you fools, so it's time to bring out... the gnomelettes!" And as if Mithos had said "abra kadabra alazakam," little people shouting "loser" jumped upon the three conscious males. It finally became clear to the readers that Regal disappeared...

Maybe.

The answer finally dawned upon Lloyd. He pulled out a certain book, skimming through the pages... until he found what he wanted. He read, "'Dwarven vow number #3874: Gnomelettes can't be ghetto!' So... wazzup homies? Yo, do ya like it homeskillet! Let's go on back to the crib, yo!" Explosions like balloons and confetti were everywhere.

"Wait... we knew they couldn't be ghetto. We should have thought of that..." Raine thought outloud.

And when they were all blown up, Lloyd gave his fiend an evil grin. "Dwarven Vow #238.76: Only take over the Yellow Submarine on Fridays, eight to ten PM!" Mithos ran off as fast as his wings could carry him. "After him!" Lloyd shouted, and everyone (except Kratos and Yuan, getting trampled on in the process) chased after the guilty one.

"Carl, initiate escape plan!"

"Setting battleship on B-4 sir." Carl sat at a computer and punched in the random command codes. Mithos then...

This is my story now! I told you I'd get you! Ahaha! Anyway, me and Carl basically drove the ship away, making our great escape.

Give me back my narration! If I can't be in it, I wanna tell it! Besides, driving the ship will get you no where. They're still on the ship. "Oh... snap."

Regal, dressed in spygear, met the crew at one of the doors of the Submarine. "I'm now... a secret agent! 006.32 to be exact. I will guide you to Mithos' lair, where you will defeat him in the probably last chapter of this fanfic."

"Wow. Our director needs more sleep... she's really off today..." Aw, shove it.

S/N: (1) - Chapter 2 of QFTUH: Regal is demanded a drumroll, and goes crazy. The end.

A/N: Oiii... I can't think of anything really clever. Sorry it's so short and sucky. Let me give you a poem in repentance. I call it "If."

If you made it through
Review if you dare
But if you don't
I really don't care...