AN: Hellooo again!103 Reviews and I'm feeling LOVED!!!! Seriously, I'm close to tears I'm so freaking happy. It really means a lot to this teensy existence of mine. Still a little depressed at times, but that's a different story. Anyhow, big typo that might cause confusion. Remember this line?
{Shizuko. Pretty girl. Pretty girl = yet.}
That is the product of my idiotic spell check. It is supposed to be "{Shikuzo. Pretty girl. Pretty girl = yay.}" (hey, what else does a guy really think? I'm not one, so I wouldn't know. Plus I was …not in a good writing mood. Come to think of it, now that's a really dumb line. Should have omitted it in the first place. Like you're reading this anymore.)
Yes, I do realize my story is going downhill with the humor. I told you guys I'm not funny.
Now, it is time for another THRILLING installment of…..Too Complicated for Words!
***
The life of a teacher is not a dull one, as most think.
Professor Saitou could tell you that. As a matter of fact, he wouldn't just tell you, he'd harass you with every merciless moment of his career, going on and on and on and on and on and on-
"SANOSUKE SAGARA, ERASE THAT RIDICULOUS DRAWING OF MYSELF AS A CROSS-DRESSER FROM THE BOARD THIS INSTANT!!!"
{I swear this is elementary school.} Saitou rubbed his forehead. It was only his first period class and he already could feel the headache forming.
"Oh, and by the way Mr. Sagara. You draw like crap. I do hope you're not in a drawing class, moron."
Saitou smiled as Sanosuke clenched his fist and ground his teeth together.
***
"I'm not a moron." Sanosuke grumbled.
"You know, you're really very sensitive about that." Kenshin pointed out, giving a side-glance to his best friend.
"I just don't like people thinking I'm stupid."
"You do have plenty of potential, you know. Your only problem is drug addiction and laziness." Kenshin nodded, absentmindedly twirling a straw in his fingertips while looking at the empty spot at the table where Kaoru usually sat. The space was soon closed up by other girls arriving from classrooms that were further away from the lunch courtyard. He made a mental note to visit her later in the afternoon.
Sanosuke and Kenshin ate slowly, then turned to watch Aoshi trudge towards their table under the low-hanging oak branches. Soujiro was currently in the art building trying to get ahead in one of his abstract projects, and was sacrificing his lunch period.
"Dude." Sanosuke grinned up at Aoshi. Today, Aoshi was wearing combat boots with black pants and a gray tank top that flattered his long muscular arms. He had made a mental note never to wear it again without a trench coat of some sort, due to the flock of girls that had created a stampede following him around school earlier in the morning.
"Don't call me Dude."
"Touchy today. What's up?"
"We have a situation."
"Excuse me? WE?" Sanosuke asked, motioning towards Kenshin as well.
"Yes. WE. If you guys desert me I will shave off your eyebrows in the middle of the night."
"If you put it that way…" Kenshin laughed half-heartedly. Sometimes he didn't know when Aoshi was being serious. The one time he had doubted Aoshi's words…well….ended up in a messy situation.
"What's the deal?" Sanosuke added, more seriously.
"You know how Shishio keeps paying me to watch his daughter around his neighborhood playground sometimes?" Aoshi started.
"Yeah." Both Kenshin and Sanosuke nodded.
"We have baby-sitting duty tonight at 8:00 pm sharp."
"What?! At the dorm?" Sanosuke shouted.
"How do we benefit out of this?" Kenshin asked, giving his friend one of his rare scowls.
"My eternal friendship." Aoshi shrugged. "I'm keeping the money for myself."
"I thought I gained your 'eternal friendship' when I wrote that English paper for you!" Kenshin replied, annoyed.
"Fine. My eternal friendship, plus one day. Can't get much better than that." Aoshi bit into an apple, causing two girls nearby to whirl around and admire him even as he ate.
"Okay, number one, you suck for being the greatest thing since nail polish to girls," Sanosuke counted off one of his fingers, "And number two, I don't live with you guys, so Soujiro can take my place."
"There is no way in hell you are deserting me with Aoshi, Soujiro, and the 6 year old daughter of Shishio." Kenshin grabbed Sanosuke's shirt collar, eyes fading into the dangerous gold his friends had learned to fear.
"How much is Shishio paying you?" Sanosuke grumbled.
"$70 for two hours." Aoshi replied nonchalantly, taking a sip from his water bottle.
"I at least want $10. You already have a job. And where in the hell does Shishio get that kind of money? He's a teacher!" Sano declared.
"Hey, I want $10 too! Then I can buy some of those boots I wanted, I've saved up enough." Kenshin added.
"Fine. Soujiro should do this out of the goodness of his heart so that leaves me with $50. Just remember. 8:00 pm sharp."
***
If this was how little kids acted, Kenshin wasn't sure he wanted a younger sister, let alone two.
After Yumi had dropped Shina off at their dorm, Shina immediately proceeded to burst into tears and wail and beat her fists on the ground (and whatever body part was closest to her) demanding to go with her mother.
"She's usually not like this!" Aoshi exclaimed as he dangled the howling Shina above the writhing Sanosuke who had just been kicked by Shina where no man wants to be kicked.
"P-pain….I'm in PAIN…" Sanosuke wheezed. The usually calm Soujiro was laughing hysterically on the couch and Kenshin stood staring at the mess before him, wondering how they were going to survive two hours of this. Shina, exhausted, gave up her flailing and merely sobbed as Aoshi pulled her closer to him (after he was sure Shina wouldn't kick him).
"Aoshiii" Shina whined.
"Maybe she'd like some ice cream?" Soujiro suggested. Shina immediately perked up with wide, happy eyes. Aoshi groaned.
"You shouldn't have said that."
"ICE CREAM!!!" Shine cried happily.
Kenshin fixed a bowl of chocolate ice cream for the six year-old, while Aoshi nervously watched on.
"She's not really supposed to have sugar…" He murmured, unsure.
"Aw, what harm could it do?" Soujiro smiled.
"As long as she's far away from me." Sanosuke grumbled, finally strong enough to pick himself up off of the floor.
*One Hour Later*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Kenshin tore down the hallway between the bedrooms and made a quick turn back into the kitchen, Shina scrambling after him with a plastic baseball bat. Aoshi, quickly skidded to avoid the doorway and tried to catch up with the hyperactive girl. Sanosuke was not so lucky and slammed straight into the wall while Soujiro came not far behind with a blanket in hopes of catching Shina and wrapping her into immobility. So far, all efforts were in vain.
"Soujiro, why in the hell-" Kenshin screamed
"Language! Keep it G-rated!" shouted Aoshi.
"Soujiro, why in the name of…Planter's Peanuts did you buy her a plastic softball bat?!"
"She didn't have anything to play with and I didn't want her breaking the play station! I thought she could play in the park!" Soujiro cried out as he made the 50th turn around the kitchen doorway.
"I THINK I BROKE MY NOSE!" Sanosuke bellowed as he came stumbling out of the living room, straight into Shina. Dazed, he looked down. Shina grinned.
"Play!" She whacked his knee with her bat.
"HOLY FFFFFFF---"
"LANGUAGE!" Aoshi yelled.
"---FRAPUCCINO!!!" Sanosuke finished, hopping up and down on one foot. "That's some hard plastic!"
"Uh, guys, this package says it's wooden…" Soujiro grinned sheepishly.
***
Kaoru lay awake in her hospital bed. She was bored to death, and wanted to hurry up and get back to her dorm. The doctors said they would release her the next day. Realizing she hadn't told Kenshin this when he came to visit her earlier in the afternoon. She picked up the phone next to her bed, deciding to give him a call out of sheer boredom.
"Hello?!" came a shriek from the other line.
"Uh…Kenshin? It's Kaoru…"
"Kaoru! Yes! You're doing well are you not? GAHH GET HER AWAY!!!"
Kaoru heard something crash, a yelled "Aw, shit!" and high pitched giggling in the background. More screams came, along with the prominent sound of Kenshin whimpering.
"Kenshin, is everything okay?"
No sound.
"Kenshin?!"
"Sorry Missy, Kenshin is currently standing on the kitchen counter with his eyes closed waving a wooden spoon at Shishio's crazed six year-old daughter who is chasing him down with her brand new softball bat." Sanosuke interrupted as he picked up the dangling phone.
"Help meeeeee!" came a feeble squeak.
"Come here you little twerp!"
"Shina, let Kenshin come get his phone call." Sanosuke sighed. "Wait…what are you doing? Get….get away from me. GET AWAY. AHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Hi hi!" came a high, little voice.
"Hello?" Kaoru asked, completely bewildered.
"Hi Mrs. Kenshin! My name is Shina and Mr. Kenshin is baby-sitting me with Aoshi and the funny brown haired boy that always gets hurt and the one wif' blue hair."
"Oh, how nice. I'll call him some other time, I think." Kaoru laughed a little, nervously.
"MRS. KENSHIN SAID SHE'D CALL ANOTHER TIME MR. KENSHIN!!!"
"She's not my wife!" was the last thing Kaoru heard before she hung up.
***
The four boys lay exhausted on the ground. Shina had miraculously fallen asleep on the couch after hours of chaotic chasing. Breathing heavily, they could hardly find the strength to curse Aoshi for talking them in to baby-sitting for a mere share of $10. Someone knocked on the door. The boys stood immediately, feigning coolness.
"Hello, Mr. Shishio." Aoshi greeted, letting him enter the dorm. Kenshin was reading a magazine, Soujiro plucked a lullaby on his guitar, and Sanosuke whistled mindlessly in the corner.
"I trust everything went well?" Shishio asked quietly, suspiciously eyeing Sanosuke who went silent and began scratching his head.
"Perfectly fine." Aoshi confirmed.
"Aw, there's my little angel." Shishio smirked as he picked up the sleeping girl. He gave the $70, and slowly left the dorm, giving each of the inhabitants a fiery glare and an insane grin before he left. Aoshi closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief. He turned around, to confront four red-faced boys with twitching eyebrows.
"Aoshi…we're going to KILL YOU."
***
Professor Saitou dragged his weary body up the steps, looking at the room number on the coffee-stained napkin he held. He found the room, and stopped dead as he pulled out the key. Screams were coming from the next room, and he heard voices he recognized and maliciously hated. Saitou clenched his fist around the key, face turning a dark shade of red. He made up his mind to sue his plumber if this day got any worse.
{Shizuko. Pretty girl. Pretty girl = yet.}
That is the product of my idiotic spell check. It is supposed to be "{Shikuzo. Pretty girl. Pretty girl = yay.}" (hey, what else does a guy really think? I'm not one, so I wouldn't know. Plus I was …not in a good writing mood. Come to think of it, now that's a really dumb line. Should have omitted it in the first place. Like you're reading this anymore.)
Yes, I do realize my story is going downhill with the humor. I told you guys I'm not funny.
Now, it is time for another THRILLING installment of…..Too Complicated for Words!
***
The life of a teacher is not a dull one, as most think.
Professor Saitou could tell you that. As a matter of fact, he wouldn't just tell you, he'd harass you with every merciless moment of his career, going on and on and on and on and on and on-
"SANOSUKE SAGARA, ERASE THAT RIDICULOUS DRAWING OF MYSELF AS A CROSS-DRESSER FROM THE BOARD THIS INSTANT!!!"
{I swear this is elementary school.} Saitou rubbed his forehead. It was only his first period class and he already could feel the headache forming.
"Oh, and by the way Mr. Sagara. You draw like crap. I do hope you're not in a drawing class, moron."
Saitou smiled as Sanosuke clenched his fist and ground his teeth together.
***
"I'm not a moron." Sanosuke grumbled.
"You know, you're really very sensitive about that." Kenshin pointed out, giving a side-glance to his best friend.
"I just don't like people thinking I'm stupid."
"You do have plenty of potential, you know. Your only problem is drug addiction and laziness." Kenshin nodded, absentmindedly twirling a straw in his fingertips while looking at the empty spot at the table where Kaoru usually sat. The space was soon closed up by other girls arriving from classrooms that were further away from the lunch courtyard. He made a mental note to visit her later in the afternoon.
Sanosuke and Kenshin ate slowly, then turned to watch Aoshi trudge towards their table under the low-hanging oak branches. Soujiro was currently in the art building trying to get ahead in one of his abstract projects, and was sacrificing his lunch period.
"Dude." Sanosuke grinned up at Aoshi. Today, Aoshi was wearing combat boots with black pants and a gray tank top that flattered his long muscular arms. He had made a mental note never to wear it again without a trench coat of some sort, due to the flock of girls that had created a stampede following him around school earlier in the morning.
"Don't call me Dude."
"Touchy today. What's up?"
"We have a situation."
"Excuse me? WE?" Sanosuke asked, motioning towards Kenshin as well.
"Yes. WE. If you guys desert me I will shave off your eyebrows in the middle of the night."
"If you put it that way…" Kenshin laughed half-heartedly. Sometimes he didn't know when Aoshi was being serious. The one time he had doubted Aoshi's words…well….ended up in a messy situation.
"What's the deal?" Sanosuke added, more seriously.
"You know how Shishio keeps paying me to watch his daughter around his neighborhood playground sometimes?" Aoshi started.
"Yeah." Both Kenshin and Sanosuke nodded.
"We have baby-sitting duty tonight at 8:00 pm sharp."
"What?! At the dorm?" Sanosuke shouted.
"How do we benefit out of this?" Kenshin asked, giving his friend one of his rare scowls.
"My eternal friendship." Aoshi shrugged. "I'm keeping the money for myself."
"I thought I gained your 'eternal friendship' when I wrote that English paper for you!" Kenshin replied, annoyed.
"Fine. My eternal friendship, plus one day. Can't get much better than that." Aoshi bit into an apple, causing two girls nearby to whirl around and admire him even as he ate.
"Okay, number one, you suck for being the greatest thing since nail polish to girls," Sanosuke counted off one of his fingers, "And number two, I don't live with you guys, so Soujiro can take my place."
"There is no way in hell you are deserting me with Aoshi, Soujiro, and the 6 year old daughter of Shishio." Kenshin grabbed Sanosuke's shirt collar, eyes fading into the dangerous gold his friends had learned to fear.
"How much is Shishio paying you?" Sanosuke grumbled.
"$70 for two hours." Aoshi replied nonchalantly, taking a sip from his water bottle.
"I at least want $10. You already have a job. And where in the hell does Shishio get that kind of money? He's a teacher!" Sano declared.
"Hey, I want $10 too! Then I can buy some of those boots I wanted, I've saved up enough." Kenshin added.
"Fine. Soujiro should do this out of the goodness of his heart so that leaves me with $50. Just remember. 8:00 pm sharp."
***
If this was how little kids acted, Kenshin wasn't sure he wanted a younger sister, let alone two.
After Yumi had dropped Shina off at their dorm, Shina immediately proceeded to burst into tears and wail and beat her fists on the ground (and whatever body part was closest to her) demanding to go with her mother.
"She's usually not like this!" Aoshi exclaimed as he dangled the howling Shina above the writhing Sanosuke who had just been kicked by Shina where no man wants to be kicked.
"P-pain….I'm in PAIN…" Sanosuke wheezed. The usually calm Soujiro was laughing hysterically on the couch and Kenshin stood staring at the mess before him, wondering how they were going to survive two hours of this. Shina, exhausted, gave up her flailing and merely sobbed as Aoshi pulled her closer to him (after he was sure Shina wouldn't kick him).
"Aoshiii" Shina whined.
"Maybe she'd like some ice cream?" Soujiro suggested. Shina immediately perked up with wide, happy eyes. Aoshi groaned.
"You shouldn't have said that."
"ICE CREAM!!!" Shine cried happily.
Kenshin fixed a bowl of chocolate ice cream for the six year-old, while Aoshi nervously watched on.
"She's not really supposed to have sugar…" He murmured, unsure.
"Aw, what harm could it do?" Soujiro smiled.
"As long as she's far away from me." Sanosuke grumbled, finally strong enough to pick himself up off of the floor.
*One Hour Later*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Kenshin tore down the hallway between the bedrooms and made a quick turn back into the kitchen, Shina scrambling after him with a plastic baseball bat. Aoshi, quickly skidded to avoid the doorway and tried to catch up with the hyperactive girl. Sanosuke was not so lucky and slammed straight into the wall while Soujiro came not far behind with a blanket in hopes of catching Shina and wrapping her into immobility. So far, all efforts were in vain.
"Soujiro, why in the hell-" Kenshin screamed
"Language! Keep it G-rated!" shouted Aoshi.
"Soujiro, why in the name of…Planter's Peanuts did you buy her a plastic softball bat?!"
"She didn't have anything to play with and I didn't want her breaking the play station! I thought she could play in the park!" Soujiro cried out as he made the 50th turn around the kitchen doorway.
"I THINK I BROKE MY NOSE!" Sanosuke bellowed as he came stumbling out of the living room, straight into Shina. Dazed, he looked down. Shina grinned.
"Play!" She whacked his knee with her bat.
"HOLY FFFFFFF---"
"LANGUAGE!" Aoshi yelled.
"---FRAPUCCINO!!!" Sanosuke finished, hopping up and down on one foot. "That's some hard plastic!"
"Uh, guys, this package says it's wooden…" Soujiro grinned sheepishly.
***
Kaoru lay awake in her hospital bed. She was bored to death, and wanted to hurry up and get back to her dorm. The doctors said they would release her the next day. Realizing she hadn't told Kenshin this when he came to visit her earlier in the afternoon. She picked up the phone next to her bed, deciding to give him a call out of sheer boredom.
"Hello?!" came a shriek from the other line.
"Uh…Kenshin? It's Kaoru…"
"Kaoru! Yes! You're doing well are you not? GAHH GET HER AWAY!!!"
Kaoru heard something crash, a yelled "Aw, shit!" and high pitched giggling in the background. More screams came, along with the prominent sound of Kenshin whimpering.
"Kenshin, is everything okay?"
No sound.
"Kenshin?!"
"Sorry Missy, Kenshin is currently standing on the kitchen counter with his eyes closed waving a wooden spoon at Shishio's crazed six year-old daughter who is chasing him down with her brand new softball bat." Sanosuke interrupted as he picked up the dangling phone.
"Help meeeeee!" came a feeble squeak.
"Come here you little twerp!"
"Shina, let Kenshin come get his phone call." Sanosuke sighed. "Wait…what are you doing? Get….get away from me. GET AWAY. AHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Hi hi!" came a high, little voice.
"Hello?" Kaoru asked, completely bewildered.
"Hi Mrs. Kenshin! My name is Shina and Mr. Kenshin is baby-sitting me with Aoshi and the funny brown haired boy that always gets hurt and the one wif' blue hair."
"Oh, how nice. I'll call him some other time, I think." Kaoru laughed a little, nervously.
"MRS. KENSHIN SAID SHE'D CALL ANOTHER TIME MR. KENSHIN!!!"
"She's not my wife!" was the last thing Kaoru heard before she hung up.
***
The four boys lay exhausted on the ground. Shina had miraculously fallen asleep on the couch after hours of chaotic chasing. Breathing heavily, they could hardly find the strength to curse Aoshi for talking them in to baby-sitting for a mere share of $10. Someone knocked on the door. The boys stood immediately, feigning coolness.
"Hello, Mr. Shishio." Aoshi greeted, letting him enter the dorm. Kenshin was reading a magazine, Soujiro plucked a lullaby on his guitar, and Sanosuke whistled mindlessly in the corner.
"I trust everything went well?" Shishio asked quietly, suspiciously eyeing Sanosuke who went silent and began scratching his head.
"Perfectly fine." Aoshi confirmed.
"Aw, there's my little angel." Shishio smirked as he picked up the sleeping girl. He gave the $70, and slowly left the dorm, giving each of the inhabitants a fiery glare and an insane grin before he left. Aoshi closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief. He turned around, to confront four red-faced boys with twitching eyebrows.
"Aoshi…we're going to KILL YOU."
***
Professor Saitou dragged his weary body up the steps, looking at the room number on the coffee-stained napkin he held. He found the room, and stopped dead as he pulled out the key. Screams were coming from the next room, and he heard voices he recognized and maliciously hated. Saitou clenched his fist around the key, face turning a dark shade of red. He made up his mind to sue his plumber if this day got any worse.