Me: Chapter 8...

Sarra: Oh, you sound just so enthused.

Me: -.- Bite me. Ariel had an operation...and I'm all depressed.

Sarra: Me too, but you don't see me balling about it.

Me: I am not balling.

Sarra: But you were!

Me: So? Don't own squat. And as respect to Ariel, I will not tell you what she had an operation on, only that she is in pain...lots of it. More than the pain Sess was in when he got his arm cut off. But now she's at home and resting, so I can rest...a little. My own ear infection doesn't help.

Sess: That much, huh?

Me: Yup.

Chapter 8: Switching bodies

"Why are you here again?" Kagome asks Sesshomaru.

"'Cause I want you."

"What!"

"Er-I mean, uh...LOOK A MONKEY!"

"Where?" Kagome turns around and Sess quickly starts talking to Sango.

"Hey I don't see a-" Naraku jumps out of the bushes (in his baboon costume) and tackles Kagome. Naturally, she's terrified. (The baboon thing is kinda irony, cause Sess said there was a monkey was in the bushes...get it? If you don't, you are very demented...more demented than me. -.-)

"Boo."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kagome takes out a bottle of pepper spray from her purse and sprays him in the eyes with it.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naraku throws himself on the ground and starts withering and screaming in agony. Aw, for the heck of it...she sprays Kikyo with it too. (All better:) ) Shippo bounces up and down in front of Kagome.

"Hey Kagome, look what I found." he hands her an amulet.

"Ohhhh, cool!" All of a sudden, a light bursts out from the amulet and everyone within a 10 mile radius gets knocked out. (Why 10 mile radius, cause I like 10 mile radiuses. What! You mean Kikyo doesn't! SHE WILL DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE! sends army of rabid squirrels after her COME JADE! DOMINATION STARTS HERE!

Rabid Squirrels: (in zombified voice, while flying/chasing after Kikyo) World domination, world domination, world domination, etc. )

1 hr later...

Everyone wakes up.

Here's who's who in order of height: (I'll do my best, I don't really keep track of who's tallest.)

Sess's body: Sango

Naraku's body: Inu-yasha

Inu-yasha's body: Naraku

Kagome's body: Jakken

Miroku's body: Sess

Sango's body: Rin

Rin's body: Shippo

Shippo's body: Kagome

Jakken's body: Miroku

Everybody wakes up and sees their own bodies. Kagome was the first one to react.

"OH...MY...GOD! HOLY MOTHER OF FRICKEN MARY! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY AM I SHORT!" (Okay, weird. Imagine, Shippo's body with Kagome's voice...scary.) Jakken immediately starts wiping imaginary dirt off of himself.

"GAH! I AM A FILTHY HUMAN! LORD SESSHOMARU! I AM TOO IMPURE TO SERVE YOU!" he lets out a girly scream and faints. (Note: Think Timmy's dad on Fairly Odd Parents. MAN I LOVE THAT SHOW!)

"-.- Jakken," Sess says, nudging him with his-er, Miroku's foot, "JAKKEN!" Okay, this time it was a full blown kick.

" -.- Good god Sess, only kill him." Sango mutters, "And don't you ever smile!"

"What means, this smile insert finger quotes?"

"-.-U I give up." The flashy light flashes again. O.O Oooooohhhhhh flashy. (Keeps flashing that Men In Black neuralizer in her face) This time, it's a 20-mile radius. So, blah blah, the gang gets up and- Huh what? (Leans over to Jim Bob, the leader of her force of rabid flying squirrels)

Jim Bob: (whispers something in my ear)

Me: WHAT! WHO!

Jim Bob: (whispers again)

Me: PETEY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Jim Bob: (in an Alvin and the Chipmunks voice) Forgive me my master, I did not want to bring this news to you, especially when you were typing your newest document that you wish was true. don't we all (Bows)

Sarra: A bowing flying squirrel. That'll blow over real well with the mental asylum.

Me: Jim Bob, explain this to Jade.

Jim Bob: Forgive me for disturbing your reading Dreammistress, but Petey drank chocolate milk and got an FUI.

Ryushi: FUI!

Me: (whispering to him) Kinda like when Yamashira gets his hands on chocolate milk and gets drunk. And then gets his hands on a sports car.

Ryushi: Oh.

Jim Bob: FUI means Flying-Under-the-Influence, mistress. (Bows again) Your chocolate milk is like rum to us. We get drunk.

Me: (in background nursing Pete back to health.) Here's some hangover medicine. (Gives him some and throws some to Ryushi) No doubt Yamashira already found the gallon of chocolate milk backstage.

Ryushi: Why would he be here!

Me: -.- I invited him.

Ryushi: WHAT!

Me: He was lonely! He wouldn't leave me alone! holds up gerbil in a gerbil page with a mask looking like Yamashira on it that poor gerbil, no one deserves my wrath...well, maybe Kikyo)

Ryushi: THAT'S NO REASON! YOU JUST THROW A PAIR OF TWEEZERS IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND HE GOES AFTER IT!

Me: Wull, why?

Ryushi: BECAUSE YOU IGNORANT BOOB! HE LIKES SHINY STUFF!

Me: O.O No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (takes off earrings and stuffs them in pocket) Be right back. (Runs backstage and choke slams Yamashira) Where were we:)

In order, again:

Sess: Miroku

Naraku: Inuyasha

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru

Kagome: Shippo

Miroku: Jakken

Sango: Naraku

Rin: Sango (Sarra: Oh god.)

Shippo: Rin

Jakken: Kagome

This time, Naraku was the first to react.

"OH MY GOD! I HAVE BOOBS! Heh...squishy."

"DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!" Sango yells. She storms up to him and kicks him in the shin. Naraku falls down and writhes and screams in pain, again.

"I'm not going to do something." Kagura says, popping out of the bushes, "Because you won't learn anything if I do." she goes away.

"Oh my god!" Inuyasha takes out the Tetseiga. "DIE ME! DIE! DIE! DIIIIIIIEEEEE!" he starts beating himself up with the Tetseiga. (Wull, he is Sesshomaru.) Miroku squats down to Sango's new height.

"Hey Sango."

"Shut up, and don't touch me." What does he do? He gropes her. (Me: falls down laughing Air...oh god. Need...air.) Mind you, Sango is Rin and Miroku is Sess. Rin starts balling her head off.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I FEEL SO VIOLATED!" Sess starts to beat Miroku up.

FLASH!

All is normal. Sess sits up and rubs his cheek.

"Ow, I pack a punch. YEAH!" stands up triumphantly, "Mel Gibson isn't the only one with a lethal weapon!" (Me: Mel Gibson starred in the Lethal Weapon movies)

"And he doesn't mean his fists or swords either." Kagome states.

o.0 (Everyone)

"What do you mean Kagome?" Inuyasha asks. Kagome just walks off set.

"What. No, seriously, what do you mean?" he follows her. Everyone shrugs and walks offset.

Me: I'll do review responses next chapter. And moon-fan- 101 I was talking about the Great American Bash. I still have to see Summer Slam...I know Hulk won. (That was a duh.) :P My ear is kinda better, for those of you who actually cared. And for those of you who didn't...YOU CRUEL INSENSITIVE BASTARDS! IF I WEREN'T HURTING, I'D KILL YOU! I HAVE A 100,000 DOLLAR BOUNTY ON YOUR HEADS! PER HEAD! (smiling sweetly) And I mean that in the nicest possible way. (Gives cookies to people who actually care)

Ryushi: No matter what she does to you, R and R. I'll kill her later.