AN: After a long wait, I reward you all with what I hope is a riveting chapter. Or at least mildly interesting, to the point where you can at least skim through to the very end. Anyhow…apologies are to be made. I've been grounded an assload of times, pretty much for most of the year, but I finally pulled good grades and I'm free for the fourth and final quarter of my school year. Also, I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately. You might be able to tell that my writing style varies in this chapter toward the end. Sorry. I've been focusing more on artwork as of late and sorting out difficulties with my significant other. (Did I tell you guys? We started dating 4 months ago.) So, to the Lady Battousai-insert number I can't remember here- No! I will NEVER ABANDON THIS STORY:strikes heroic pose: Things may get in my way, but I intend to finish this story AND make a sequel! (Though it won't be this long). So. Now that I've explained everything. On with the show, eh?

Aoshi was not in a good mood: he really didn't want to go to dinner with Arashi. It had been a complete surprise, and it had been so long since the last...and first…night that he saw her. Even if he did like her, it would turn out to be something similar to the Magdaria/Sanosuke game: an extremely finicky, over-protective uncle. Plus, Arashi was older than him - a freshman in college - and that would just be weird. To top off the whole shebang, Kamatari was helping him dress for the occasion, with a few side lectures on etiquette.

"Now…I do love pinstripe but it just doesn't suit you. Suit you…ha! I crack myself up. Oh honey, don't give me that look. This is only the third outfit I've made you try on. When you see this Arashi chick, don't scowl. It'll add lines to your face."

"Kamatari…you're…insane." Aoshi finished, with lack of anything better to say. Kamatari looked up at him with a feminine smile and Aoshi shuddered.

"Aha!" Kamatari cried. "Now here's what I'd like to see on you!" Kamatari handed Aoshi a deep, dark crimson dress shirt, a pair of black dress pants, and a black tie. Aoshi grudgingly made his way to the bathroom to change yet again. He stepped back out just as hesitantly. He hated the way Kamatari was looking at him. It was bizarre the way Kamatari's eyes misted over and reminded Aoshi of his mother.

Aoshi almost hissed under his breath from the shock…it felt like a wrecking ball had hit him in the gut. His mother was dead. His mother…was…dead. He never made any visits to home…and he was taking it for granted that she was still there, putting up with his bastard father, going about her daily routine. But she was really in a casket in the ground. She had been dead for…since the end of winter, beginning of spring. Three months? Two? Four? Aoshi couldn't recall the date when Mrs. Yoshida had called him. He wanted to panic, wanted to scream, but Kamatari's look of simple innocence banished the thoughts.

"Aoshi? You okay? You look like you might have a heart attack."

"I'm fine. It's just…you…your face…"

"Yes?" Kamatari replied, too eagerly. Aoshi saw where his intent was, and he quickly retreated from the subject. He had to treat Kamatari like a girl…they were led on too easily by little flippant compliments. He couldn't do that to the poor boy. It weirded him out: the girly expressions, the attraction to males, the obsession with fashion… "Hey Aoshi," Kamatari looked up solemnly as he took out a cigarette, tapping it against the box. Jeez, even the way he moved his wrists was feminine. "You look great. You're really handsome tonight."

An innocent compliment from a friend? Aoshi accepted it with a forced smile.

"Thanks." Aoshi turned away. The smell of smoke instantly triggered a headache. Kamatari opened a window and sat by it, crossing his legs. He was dressed in hip-hugger jeans, obviously from a women's department, and a black women's tank top with a white dress shirt, unbuttoned. Aoshi continued to observe him from the dining room as he downed a soda out of nerves. Kamatari's hair glinted light purple from a recent dye job, and he raised a ring-adorned hand to ruffle his feathery, uneven haircut.

"It's six o'clock. Arashi should be driving around into the parking lot any minute now." Aoshi muttered, shuffling his feet on the carpet. Kamatari blew smoke out through the window screen, set the cigarette back in his mouth, and smiled.

"I guess I'll walk you down." Kamatari led the taller man out of the dorm into the hallway, which became a route to the parking lot. Arashi was waiting there in a silver Cabrio. Aoshi climbed into the passenger seat, and Arashi smiled.

"Hey," her gaze moved up toward Kamatari who had stuck his head in through the window, sans cigarette.

"Have him back by midnight! You kids have fun!" Kamatari grinned and pulled his head out of the window, tossing his cigarette in the path of Arashi's car as he turned his back on the couple. Aoshi watched him head toward the visitor's parking lot, where his moped was undoubtedly parked. He hardly noticed that one of his favorite songs, "The Leaving Song: Part II" was on the radio. Arashi seemed soothed by the strange vocals.

"Who sings this?" Aoshi asked, unfamiliar with the American band.

"AFI."

"Oh yeah. I always wondered what that stood for."

"A Fire Inside." Arashi looked at him as if he were missing out on the information to complete enlightenment. Minus 2 points for Arashi. He hated people that struck up fierce loyalties with bands. They were just bands after all: just people. It was the music that really counted.

"So who was that cute little gay boy?"

"He's a person…not a cute little gay boy." Minus 6 points. Categorizing human beings and ignoring the individual power of their souls was a definite no for Aoshi. Perhaps that was the reason he didn't shut off all contact with Kamatari. Much as his personality was overbearing and sometimes freaked Aoshi out, he couldn't tell the boy to go away. It would be cruel. It would be inconsiderate.

"Well? Are you guys good friends?"

Arashi feared for his sexual preference. Or maybe she was into gay guys and wanted a threesome. Minus 16 points. Aoshi vaguely wondered what the total points possible were anyway. 100 he guessed. So that left her with…76 points. That was already a C. Things weren't looking too swift. Well, he didn't need to be dating Shishio's niece anyway. It was bad enough to be baby-sitting his daughter.

"We're…friends, yeah. He's one of those people you can't really leave alone without feeling bad. I'm just glad he finally stopped making passes at me." Give her security. Potential boyfriend is not bisexual or gay.

"Yeah, I understand. So you like sushi right?"

Damn hippie. Everyone was getting into Japanese stuff lately. But he did like sushi. Plus 3 points.

"Yeah. I like sushi. My mom was part Japanese. So was my dad, but he didn't cook, you know."

"Oh? What were their other nationalities?"

"My mother was also part Ukrainian. I think my dad is part Filipino."

"Was?"

"My mother died back in late winter."

"I'm so sorry."

Aoshi didn't have anything. He didn't want to be rude and say "So is everyone else", but he didn't want to say "It's all right" because it wasn't. She had no right to pity him or sympathize with him or anything.

"My grandmother died last year. Uncle Shishio took it pretty hard."

Somehow, Aoshi didn't think Shishio would show sincere grief for the passing of his mother-in-law. Shishio was probably the reason the old woman had kicked the bucket.

They drove on in silence. Aoshi dreaded their arrival.

"And then he said that I couldn't live there by myself, even if Amakusa stayed with me because he wasn't a student! But what was I thinking, Amakusa can't stay, he's got work to do. He's already taken too much time off, and Grandmother needs him….Sano? Sanosuke! Are you listening to me?"

Sano looked up momentarily from the intricate weave his fingers formed as they interlocked. So fascinating. But he was listening. Sort of. But he couldn't concentrate. He had to, though. Or Magdaria would suspect. Suspect number one, Sanosuke Sagara. Sahara. Could you snowboard in a desert? There's a thought.

"Yeah." He blurted belatedly. "I'm…sorry. I just…zoned…out. So Saitou has to move back in his house now? And you can't live on campus anymore?"

Magdaria nodded, tears in her eyes. Sano wasn't feeling as bad as he knew he should. But his mind was on the fast track, jumping from one subject to another. Magdaria sobbed and threw her arms around him, and Sanosuke rubbed her back. Magdaria caught one of his hands and started to kiss his fingertips, but stopped short.

"Have you been biting your fingernails?"

"Uh…well…you see…exams…started…and…"

"Have you started …taking…" Magdaria's voice was a dangerous cross between anger and grievous disappointment, a perfect balance between the two feared emotions that made Sano want to crawl in a corner and die.

"I'm not taking any drugs! I haven't been smoking or drinking either! I just…I….I took one of Aoshi's Zoloft pills the other day. He hasn't used them, not even the day they were prescribed and I took…one, no, two…and…that was about a day ago and….I really….I really want…"

"Sano. Look at me." Magdaria firmly took Sanosuke's face into her hands. He tried to turn to look at the table, but Magdaria jerked him so that they were face to face. Her eyes radiated energy and power. "I thought you said you gave drugs up for me."

"I did…but…Magdaria…the urges get so bad…I didn't know it was going to be this bad…" Sano could only repeat himself. His thoughts were more harried now that all he wanted to concentrate on was getting three more pills into his system.

"Sanosuke! I can't believe this! I'm having to move out of this dorm I've come to love as my home, and you're taking drugs again, and I've had to go to the hospital three times since I've been in town-" She broke off into a cough. Panicking, she gasped a few times to make sure it wasn't a breath-restricting attack. Sano's attention level stabilized and he shot her a look mixed between worry and anger.

"Don't excite yourself! It's nothing! I'm off of drugs, this is no big deal."

"Sanosuke, that's bullshit."

"What about you! We haven't talked about you being sick at all. I don't know anything about it. You're keeping a part of yourself from me!"

"And for good reason, too! I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

"I don't feel sorry for you. This is life. This is what happens to people. But I love you, and I want to be a part of your life."

"I don't have a life. I could die at any minute. Or I could die in twenty years."

"Just like everyone else."

"NO! Not like everyone else! There's more of a risk that I might die now. That I might die painfully. That I might not be able to get married, raise a family, or have a career. Or if I do get married, I might not be able to have a baby. And if I did have a baby, what if I left it behind while it was still too young? What if he or she never remembers me? I don't have a life. I won't have a life. Death is consuming me, and I'll always be looking for him. I don't have anything to lose."

"You've got me."

"Maybe we should end this."

"Maybe we should get married."

"Maybe- WHAT!" Magdaria screamed. Sano clamped a hand around her mouth, a look of excitement in his eyes. He completely forgot about the bottle of Zoloft and the call for alcohol. Magdaria eyed him with horror.

"We should get married. I'm eighteen, you're seventeen. It's legal. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I failed seventh grade. That's why I'm still in junior year, like you. But we should just go and elope! I'm serious. Just hop on over to the next town. You said it yourself, you've got nothing to lose! Trust me…this is what we should do."

Tears welled up in Magdaria's eyes as Sanosuke slowly removed his hand from her mouth, and leaned in to give her the most passionate, sincere kiss he had ever given her. She clenched her hands in the fabric of his shirt, and fought away the urge to tremble in the power of Sanosuke's embrace.

"There's something cold and blank about her smile…."

Kamatari tousled his hair with his free hand, taking a drag from his cigarette in the other. He extinguished it in the ashtray on the vanity. He sat a moment on the purple stool and looked at his faceted reflection.

"A proper lady wouldn't have an ashtray at her vanity. Ashes aren't a representative of beauty." He smiled sickly as he slowly picked up the ashtray, turning it about to admire every surface, then tossed it over his shoulder. He heard it hit the wall and fall back on the carpet.

"I just want to be beautiful…" Kamatari tore through his closet in a daze. Purple corset to match his hair. Powder blue tulle skirt. He tugged the corset over his head. He laced it in front of the three-mirror vanity, smiling.

Tighter…make it tighter…

He pulled the laces until he thought his fingers might turn black.. But they had to constrict more. He screamed in rage when the laces refused to move anymore, whirling around. This only undid his work as his deep breaths loosened the stays. He gave a last, final tug, nearly toppling over at the surprise of his strength. Kamatari had succeeded in lacing the corset to the point of ultimate constriction. He could only take small, delicate, lady-like breaths. He gave a hesitant, wavering smile to the mirror yet again, as if the woman…man…thing reflected on the surface was his enemy.

The tulle skirt was artfully shredded to slices of fabric, with a sheer underskirt. He pulled it on with ease, then hiked it up to tug on one white and one black thigh-high, completing the outfit with a pair of purple stilettos. With shallow breaths, he resumed his seat at the vanity and took out the soft, fanned brush and began dusting his face with pale powder. The light bulb in his ceiling fan flickered. He wasted no time in clicking the lamp on the floor into luminance, should the fan light go out.

Silver eye shadow, dark black mascara, deep plum lipstick. Kamatari painted his face to perfection, grinning elegantly from ear to ear when he was completed. Beautiful.

I just want to be …beautiful.

"Oh honey…this isn't gonna get you what you want." Kamatari breathed to his glimmering reflection, watching the mirror fog as he moved closer. "No one likes a man in women's clothing."

His fingers slid over the glass counter, knocking bottles of perfume off the side and onto the beige carpet. He swept his other hand across the table, faster this time; knocking compacts and cases to the floor. The box of tissues, the facial scrubs, the pencils, the tweezers, the curlers, all of it was whisked off the table and came crashing to the floor. The bulletin board was next: he shred the diagrams he had drawn for future plastic surgery; pictures from magazines of women he wanted to look like, men he loved; photos of him with his other gay friends and ex-boyfriend.

He kicked the night stand over, shattering an empty picture frame and busting open his jewelry box. He tore through his dresser, tossing his clothes all over the room, and proceeded to do the same with his closet. With a final, choked back sob, He raised a red high-heel over his head and brought it crashing into the center mirror of the vanity. He dropped the shoe and sobbed, picking his way to the center of the room. Kamatari surveyed the damage, shuddering with tears. He looked over his shoulder at the vanity, broken and defeated.

Kamatari grew silent and wiped away his tears. He picked up a white vinyl purse from the mess and confidently made his way to the door, shaking his head to tousle his hair. Turning to the vanity one more time before he closed the door, Kamatari smiled at his cracked reflection.

"Oh, honey. None of this is going to get you what you want."

"Oh, Kenshin, we really appreciated this." Lisa smiled tiredly as she set her purse down on the coffee table, taking off her coat. Julie yawned, not far behind her, and began stretching.

"No problem. It's your anniversary, and you deserved it."

"You got the girls in bed without a fuss?"

"Oh, there was a fuss all right. But they're okay. They're sound asleep."

"You want to stay the night? Julie rented a movie. We just have to be quiet so the girls don't wake up, but that shouldn't be too hard. Their bedroom is upstairs and they're pretty hard sleepers now."

"Sure…but I don't-"

"You have clothes left over in your room that you didn't take with you to school. You can sleep in those. And you can stay in your old room or sleep in the twins' room or sleep on the couch. Whatever pleases you, baby." Lisa grinned happily. Kenshin returned the smile, and Julie placed the movie in the DVD player.

"What are we watching?"

"Julie said something about an Austin Powers-"

"Oh, no, you didn't…" Kenshin groaned.

"Hey, all my coworkers said this was a great movie." Julie interjected

"Haven't you noticed that most of your coworkers are young men? Young, perverted men?" Kenshin replied.

"If I wasted five bucks, they'll all feel my wrath come Monday." She growled. Lisa sat down on Kenshin's left, and Julie at his right. Just like old times. As the movie progressed, Kenshin found that he slouched deeper into the couch, trying to pocket himself between his two protectors like he used to. Julie, ironically, fell asleep and missed most of the movie. Lisa watched, horrified. Kenshin closed his eyes to the sound of Dr. Evil rapping. Not an ideal way to fall asleep in the comfort of his mothers, but it happened all the same.

Kenshin woke up in his old room. He had no fucking clue as to how Julie and Lisa had gotten him upstairs and in bed with his having no recollection of it, but he was there in the old navy blue sheets and piles of pillows. Posters greeted him from his days at middle school: Things he had grown out of, like the old bands and childish anime shows. There was a picture of him at age three with Julie and Lisa at Disney World, all three of them wearing matching baseball caps, and all three grinning as if they had just had the time of their lives. The photo sat on the desk where he used to do his homework.

He crept downstairs, thinking his parents were still asleep. Instead, he heard them whispering and laughing in the kitchen. They grew quiet suddenly.

"Ah, Lisa, he's not your baby anymore. We've got the girls now."

"But I miss my little boy…" Lisa sighed, and Kenshin could hear her stirring her tea. Julie chuckled, but sighed as well.

"He's all grown up. He doesn't need us anymore."

"If only he'd…just…move back in…"

"Lisa, you know he'd never…not that we're monsters…it's more fun for him, living with his friends. It's high school, baby."

"He hates us."

Kenshin started. He had never known Lisa to put herself down so bluntly, or to doubt his own admiration for her. Shocked, he leaned in, intent to hear more.

"Hate us! Lisa, have you gone-"

"Don't be silly, you know that's the reason he jumped at the chance to board at school. We are monsters to him. For God's sake Julie, we're gay"
"Lesbian, not gay."

"Don't mock me! I'm serious!" Lisa was reaching a dangerous pitch. Kenshin could hear the tears in her voice.

"We've been through this a million times. Will you ever just…let it go?" Julie crooned.

"How can I let it go, it's a part of my life, it's-"

"We've gone through this! When we first dated, I assured you that it's okay to be gay. When we decided to push for a marriage license and knew none of our families would dream to set foot in our wedding ceremony I assured you that it's okay to be gay. When we adopted Kenshin and people looked at us strangely I told you everything was fine. Lisa, honey, we thought about this…we made our choices, they were good choices. We knew one day that if we raised children there might be some…difficulties…but honey there's no way you can change something that big about yourself. You're gay….and it's okay."

"I just want…him…" Lisa was overcome by hiccuping sobs, "I want him to be home…I want him to say 'I love you Mama' again. I want you two to go play at the park again. I want him to talk to me…I want to be his Mom again…"

"You are his mom. He'll come to you when he needs you. Oh, baby…he's…not our baby anymore…"

Kenshin pulled back from the door, heading back up the stairs. Impulsively, he chose to take a hot shower, as hot as his skin would allow, and stood under the unforgiving spray unflinchingly. He closed his eyes as he felt the water stream down his face, but he knew that it was intermingled with his own salty tears…because his throat burned as he fought to control boyish sobs.

The guitar shone in the sunlight that sprawled across the floor in dazzling patterns created by the tree that stood outside the open window. The strings vibrated with a low tone as expert hands wove their way through a practice melody before delving into a completed work. Soujiro smiled as a wave of confidence passed over him. Misao lay on the floor expectantly, waiting to hear what Soujiro would play next. She watched the sunlight patterns dance over her knees as her skirt fluttered in the slight breeze created by the ceiling fan.

"Well….I would walk five hundred miles and-ah I would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door!"

Misao joined in the chorus of meaningless syllables.

"Da da dat da! Da da dat da!

"When I'm walkin, yes I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's walkin hard for you.
And when the money, comes in for the work I do,
I'll pass almost every penny on to you.

When I come home, oh I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you.
And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you."

Soujiro wrapped the song up after he couldn't recall anymore of the original lyrics and set his guitar aside. Misao took the liberty of scooting across the floor until she was seated safely between his legs, his arms wrapped around her neck.

"It's almost twelve o'clock. Kenshin hasn't come back from his parents' house. Usually he's home around ten." Misao opened up the subject.

"Yeah. And Aoshi hasn't gotten out of bed yet…usually he's up at seven."

"But it's a Saturday!"

"I know. He's just a sucker for routine." Soujiro shrugged.

"You think he's okay?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Sanosuke?" Misao inquired.

"No idea. Why the sudden interest in all my roommates. Do you know where Kaoru is?"

"Yeah, she's studying her ass off for some AP exam on Monday. Literature, I think. She also has an exam in Physics."

"Yikes. I have my Technique exam Monday. But it's music…it comes naturally to me…if I practice too much then it's too deeply embedded in my mind and it doesn't flow."

"My Technique exam isn't until Wednesday. All I have to do is drink tea and hope my voice doesn't decide to leave." Misao shrugged this time. Talk of exams just made her jittery, especially her Technique test. Soujiro seemed to feel the same way, and he decided to chase away the troubling thoughts with a warm kiss, placing it on Misao's neck. Not expecting it, Misao jerked, but relaxed at the familiar feel of his lips against her skin. It sent shivers coursing throughout her body, but she kept miraculously still, reveling in the joy the tremors gave her. She craned her neck so that she might return the favor, placing a similar kiss on his cheek.

As they escaped into their world of happiness, Kenshin arrived home, mulling over the thoughts of his parents who were coping with his struggle to adulthood. Aoshi stirred in his room, staring at the ceiling and recalling the events of a completely uneventful night. Sanosuke arrived after Kenshin silently closed the door to him room, and pulled out a wad of cash he had leftover for buying drugs, but was about to be used for something completely different.

And as the patterned sunlight began to recede and travel to the western side of the building, Misao and Soujiro sat in a silent embrace, unaware of the three other boys in the dormitory; unaware of the deep anguish and anticipation that was mounting inside the unstable walls.

Things were about to change.

Side Note: Cliffhanger. Ooooh. This chapter is 11 pages long. And guess what the entire story is? 215! Fecking amazing! Thanks go out to ALL OF YOU!