"Are you and him…?" Sirius asked with well-masked emotion.
"God! No, Sirius I'm not a slut." He looked at her haughtily. It was misinterpreted.
"Or maybe you think I am. That's why you care isn't it?" she finished, the shake of her voice revealing all too clearly how close she was to tears.
He almost broke when he saw her doubting herself, doubting his love for her – not that she even knew about it. God it was all just so wrong, it made him feel physically sick. He wanted to show her. He wanted to grab her and make sure she understood how he felt, but even so, something made him hold back. He also wanted to see her hurt. Seeing her tonight at the club with Blake, it made him feel so cheated, he just wanted to wish it all away, get rid of it all and go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow he'd wake to a world where everything was right, and all of her other boyfriends were omitted from the gut-wrenching past he wasn't there for. It just was all wrong.
The air was chill, he saw her shiver. His dark blue dress shirt was far from comforting in this night temperature. She was wearing less though. 'Good' he though nastily. 'No' his mind countered, 'no not good,'
"You must be freezing" he said quietly looking away into the night. She said nothing.
"Y'know it's really none of your business who I'm with anyway" she challenged emotionally. His dark eyes snapped back to her, this was far from what he'd expected.
"What?" he hissed disbelievingly "what do you mean Sarah? What, do you fucking, mean?" he asked angrily, his voice rising. Her silver-blue eyes held his in an angry defiance.
"Sirius we all know what this is" she started with an unnerving calm "you decide what you want, you get what you want, you'll never commit but even so you won't let go" He said nothing. "I'm not your plaything Sirius, you can't just pick me up and use me when you're bored…" she trailed off, her voice shaking dangerously. He couldn't believe he was hearing this! His first reaction was one of pain, then sorrow, then anger, but finally defeated amusement. Amazingly he smiled and shook his head.
"Almost," he said quietly "you almost had me with that – where do they teach you that anyway? Honestly I can't commit?" he laughed quietly and shortly. There was silence. He pushed away from the post he was leaning on and came threateningly close to her. She stubbornly didn't move.
"I wish, you would let this happen. I've been waiting for so long now but I didn't push it, and I won't." he swallowed "But to say I won't commit, that's just ironic now isn't it?" his voice was so close in her ear, "we all know what this is Sarah" he said repeating her words "this is you, too scared to make a move, too afraid to let this be. This is you, pushing me as far as you can just to see how strongly you've got me, well you don't need to. You'll always pull me back, because you can, and because you want to and I'll always come. Because I need to, because I love you. But you're afraid. Afraid of your parents, your friends, the whole goddamn fucking world. Sounds to me like, you're the one who won't commit"
He slowly pulled away, his eyes solemn with shining emotion. He walked backwards slightly shaking his head to himself, and sad and ironic little smirk playing at his lips. Then he turned, and walked away into the dark.