Everyone sat around in the Not-A-Single-Speck-of-Gold-Hall, happily eating food. "Yum... food..." said Aragorn. "Yum... ale..." said Gimli, who was swaying rather unsteadily in his seat.
"No fair! I want some food!" cried Sam, who had magically appeared once again.
"Fool of a Samwise Gamgee!" barked Gandalf. "Why must you keep popping up?"
"I'm a pop-up ad!"
"Well go away! And you can't have any food!"
"Yes, Mr. Gandalf sir." Sam's eyes suddenly bugged out of his head and he gasped loudly. "M-Mr. Gandalf! You're alive!"
"Darn, now it won't be a surprise! Forget that you saw me!"
"Okay, Mr. Gandalf!" Sam immediately deleted the image of Gandalf from his mind, snapped his fingers, and disappeared.
"What exactly are we all gathered in here for anyway?" Theoden wondered.
"Theoden, you can't stay here!" said Gandalf. "You'll get attacked!"
Theoden burst into a laughing fit. "Oh come on, no we won't!" An arrow suddenly flew in through the window and struck a random man. "Um, okay, maybe we will."
"Ha! I'm always right!" said Gandalf.
"No you're not!"
"I am too! I'm a wizard and you're just a king!"
"I'm not going to keep arguing with you! This is completely pointless!" said Theoden. "Now anyway, on to business. I say we go to Helm's Deep!"
"No, you old fool!" said Aragorn. "It will fall!"
"Nonsense! Of course it won't!"
A messenger suddenly burst into the hall. "I need to speak with the king!" He went over to Theoden and said, "Helm's Deep has suddenly collapsed without warning. It has been renamed Helm's Shack." The messenger then ran off.
"Okay," said Theoden. "Then we will go to Helm's Shack!"
"That's a stupid idea!" said Aragorn.
"Do you have a better one?"
"Well, no. Why does this conversation always pop up when I criticize people's ideas?"
Theoden shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know and I seriously don't care."
While this discussion went on, Gimli sat in a corner eating. "Beans, beans, the magical fruit! The more you eat, the more you toot!" he sang.
"Oh no, he's going to blast off!" Legolas cried. "Take cover!" He hid underneath his chair.
"I have a better idea," said Gandalf. "Gimli, go outside!" Gimli reluctantly got up from his seat and went through the door.
"Legolas, you can come out now!" Aragorn said. Legolas was still cowering under his chair, both hands clamped protectively over his noise. The elf removed his hands and poked his head out. "It's safe?" He got up and sat back in his seat. "Thank goodness that's taken care of."
"That's why I never let dwarves into my hall," said Theoden. He stood up. "Hama, Gamling, pack my stuff! We're getting ready to go to Helm's Shack!"
"Okay!" Hama and Gamling ran off together.
Eowyn then snuck into Theoden's personal belongings and grabbed his sword. "Whee, I'm a pretty fairy princess with a sword!" She waved the sword around in the air, twirling around in circles.
"Okay, now that's a little bit scary," said Aragorn.
Eowyn immediately stopped her waving and twirling and stared at Aragorn, the way a deer looks at the headlights of a car.
"Um... hello?" said Aragorn. He waved a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Eowyn?" Eowyn continued to stare. "Have you been struck dumb or something?"
Eowyn finally stopped gaping at him like a crazy person and managed to say something. "Are you taken?"
"That's none of your business," Aragorn replied. "I'd rather not tell you."
"Did you know that I'm afraid of cages?"
"Nope, would have never guessed that."
Suddenly, Legolas ran into the room carrying a cage. "Look at this beautiful cage! I'm going to use it to store all of my hair products! Here, would you mind holding this for me while I get my shampoo?" Legolas shoved the cage into Eowyn's hands and skipped away.
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" screamed Eowyn. "A cage! Get it away! Get it away!" She flung the cage away from her ran out of the room.
"That's definitely something you don't see every day," said Aragorn.
This chapter was kind of short and not the best, but oh well. Make sure you review. The only people who don't review are mean evil people who are on Santa Clause's naughty list.