Chapter 5: Bueno Bonnie

If there was one thing Bonnie Rockwaller couldn't stand, it was people staring at her while she slept. While she couldn't remember how she'd found this out or who had committed the first offense, it was one of those major annoyances that never failed to put her in a bad mood for almost the entire day.

So when Bonnie woke up in a unfamiliar room (very troubling) that turned out to be a hospital room (even worse), she was already feeling a bit afraid. But any trace of fear vanished the moment she turned her head slightly to the right and found Kim Possible staring down at her.

Honestly, it bothered Bonnie more that it had been Kim watching her sleep, rather than the fact it had been anyone at all. But when Kim didn't immediately tease her for drooling (although she hadn't, anyway), Bonnie decided that screaming would probably be taken out of context. So she made do with an obviously annoyed, "What?"

Kim blinked, clearly not expecting that. "I...I'm glad you're okay. I was afraid that I'd failed you, too. Well...again. I mean..."

"Are you really tongue-tied, or are you just trying to be that annoying?"

Kim's face turned bright red as she fell silent and looked down.

Bonnie waited for the snappy comeback, and was almost disappointed when it never arrived.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Kim asked quietly.

The next verbal barb Bonnie had prepared died in her throat. "How did I get here?" she muttered.

Kim seemed to sense that Bonnie wasn't going to answer the question. "I found you, underground. I had Wade call Global Justice, and they-"

"Was I...alone?"

"No, you weren't."

"Then where is she?" Bonnie demanded at once. "Where's Auntie?"

Kim flinched at the accusation in her tone. "Bonnie, it's not that-"

"You did something to her, didn't you!" Bonnie cried. "If you hurt her, Possible, I swear I'll-"

"Bonnie!" a familiar voice shouted.

For the first time, Bonnie noticed Tara and Ron sitting in chairs at the foot of her bed. Ron was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and Tara was staring at Bonnie in both disbelief and relief. For no reason that Bonnie could guess, the look on Tara's face made her feel strangely guilty.

"You should know by now that Kim would never hurt anyone without good reason," Tara stated. "You didn't even let her finish."

Tara's defense of her only made Kim seem more hesitant to proceed. It wasn't until Ron limped over and placed a hand on her shoulder that she was able to go on.

"Bonnie, there's a lot you don't know. I was there, and I'm still trying to figure it all out. But to answer your question...your aunt...I'm afraid she's...gone."

"She left me?" Bonnie whispered. "She went home? But..."

Kim bit her lip. "No, Bonnie. She...she's dead."

For several seconds, Bonnie didn't react at all. Then her expression crumbled, and she buried her face in her hands. "No...she promised..."

"Oh, Bonnie..." Tara murmured, crossing the room and slipping her arms around her best friend. "It's okay. Just let it all out."

"But she promised me!"

"Promised what?" Tara asked softly.

"She promised she wouldn't hurt me," Bonnie sobbed. "But this...it hurts." She pressed her face into Tara's shoulder, only vaguely aware that the unfamiliar, heartbroken wail in her ears was coming from her own mouth.

Kim forced herself to take deep, cleansing breaths as she practically ran out of Bonnie's hospital room and down the hall. For all the good they did in calming her down, she might as well have been duking it out with Shego. And at least then, her rate of success would've been fairly high.

Compared to what she was dealing with now, Shego was easy. Kim had always done her best, but she seemed to do better when the odds were against her, or when people doubted her abilities. Bonnie had always doubted her abilities, and there was nothing Kim loved more than proving her wrong time and time again.

So why was it that when Bonnie had, for the very first time, really needed her, she had failed?

But it was worse than that. Kim had let someone die on her watch. It didn't matter that Bonnie was physically fine (better than fine, if the doctors were to be believed), or that Wade's microchip had been found on her (but not removed). All that mattered was that Bonita Rockwaller was dead, and Kim considered herself at the very least indirectly responsible for that. She hadn't lifted a finger against the woman, but no doubt Bonnie wouldn't see it that way, no matter how many times the details were explained to her. Bonnie would never forgive her, and they would have that in common, because Kim didn't plan on forgiving herself in the near future, either.

Kim came to a stop in front of a vending machine. Hoping food would briefly take her mind off of her troubles, she reached into her pocket to locate some loose change. Her gaze flicked over the small variety of snacks, and landed abruptly on some banana chips, which were inexplicably in a green and black bag.

A shudder passed through her body, and the next thing Kim knew, she'd driven her fist through the glass and yanked the bag out, ripping it open and sending banana chips flying in every direction. Spotting another bag, she began to do it all over again, but someone grabbed her wrist.

"KP, don't," Ron said softly, turning her around. "You're only hurting yourself." He held up her wrist, which now had several shallow cuts in it.

Kim blinked, as if seeing him for the first time. "Why did she have to die, Ron?" she whispered. "Why couldn't she just give a pint of blood like everyone else?"

"I don't know, Kim. We barely even knew her. And it's not like you handed her a smoking gun. The way you told it, she was planning this."

"But I should've been able to stop her somehow. If I had, she'd still be alive, and Bonnie...Bonnie would still have her aunt, and she wouldn't hate me..."

"Okay, I think you're breaking into wishful thinking territory now," Ron pointed out. "You and Bonnie weren't exactly...well, us, before this whole thing, either. I'm sure Tara wouldn't mind explaining your side of the story. She wouldn't want Bonnie to get the wrong idea."

"Ron, maybe...it's better this way." Kim leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. "If I just let Bonnie think what she does now, I won't ever have to try and explain myself. She'll just hate me, and...and...that'll be it."

"There's one little problem with that, KP: Rufus was there. And if you think he's gonna let you walk around with your head down while Bonnie thinks you killed her aunt, well, you don't know my little naked buddy. Hey, if you think I'd let you do that, then you don't know me, either."

"News flash, Ron!" Kim snapped. "I so do NOT feel like a hero right now, okay?"

"Of course you don't," Ron replied. "Technically, you're a heroine."

Kim glared up at him.

"Look, when I signed on for this best friend thing, I'm pretty sure there was a part in the fine print about not letting you beat yourself up. And if there wasn't, I would've added it. Kim, there was nothing you could've done, and it's not your fault. I don't know how many different ways I can say that. She WANTED to die, you said so. She wanted it just as much as you wanted to save her. She just had superpowers to back up that desire, and you didn't. That's not your fault. It can't be."

"Bonnie won't see it that way," Kim muttered.

"You know what, SCREW Bonnie!" Ron shouted.

Kim looked at him in surprise.

"Uh, I mean, for the moment! Especially if worrying about what she thinks is making you act this way, KP. You did everything you could. I know you did, because I know you. And I know you don't deserve to feel the way you do right now. So please, just stop it, okay? There's only so many vending machines in this place, anyway."

Kim sighed. "I did kinda ruin the banana chips, didn't I?"

Ron shrugged. "Rufus would still eat 'em."

"I think I was justified. I mean, who puts Shego colors on food?"

"Banana-Fanna Foods, apparently," Ron replied, reading the back of the bag. "They've got an address for complaints. So I'll just write them and say that their packaging is subconsciously supporting a super villain. I'm sure they'll be forced to change the colors then. Maybe even to red and green. Cuz, you know, those are heroine colors."

"Very funny, Ron."

"Who's kidding? After we're done here, I'm going to get my red wig and green contacts, baby!"

Kim couldn't help picturing Ron in said wig and contacts, and so she couldn't help the smile that snuck its way onto her face.

"We'll need a tiny set for Rufus, of course. Maybe get Ned in on this action..."

"Okay, just stop!" Kim begged through her laughter. "I don't hate myself anymore, really!"

"What about Banana-Fanna?"

"I don't hate them, either. I just seriously question the people in their packaging department."

Ron grinned. "Great. So no more hating on the banana chips?"

"Consider them perfectly safe from my wrath." Kim looked up at Ron and smiled faintly. "You know, you're pretty good at this whole best friend thing."

Ron stuck out his chest a bit. "Well, you know how I hate to brag."

"Careful, Ron. I don't know if that leg of yours can support a swollen head right now."

"Actually, I'd forgotten about it in all the excitement," Ron admitted. "Bet I'll be raring to go back to work in no time." Noticing the hesitant look on Kim's face, he added, "Maybe you will be, too?"

"Maybe," Kim said quietly.

"I think what you need is a good Mom Hug," Ron decided, reaching down to pull Kim to her feet. "C'mon. She promised she wouldn't be far, in case Bonnie wanted a doctor she knew. Or in case you started doubting yourself. But we can keep that part between us."

"It won't matter, Ron. Mom always knows when something's bothering me."

Ron nodded. "Then we just won't mention the banana chip incident."

Kim turned bright red. "Works for me."

Tara hadn't known what to think when Mrs. Dr. Possible had called and asked her to come to Middleton Medical Center right away. That something might be wrong with Bonnie simply hadn't entered her mind. She'd told herself over and over again that Bonnie was with Auntie, and that Auntie wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

From what she'd seen, that was mostly true. No one had said anything definite yet, but Tara had managed to catch snippets of hushed discussions, and she knew that Bonnie was in good health. In fact, she'd heard the phrase "modern medical miracle" tossed around, and after Kim had retold the events of that day, Tara began to put the pieces together.

As near as she could figure, something in Auntie's blood had made Bonnie better than ever, but it was also confusing the doctors a great deal. There had been a cluster of them in the room earlier, but Mrs. Dr. Possible had ordered them out so Bonnie could rest. Only Tara, Kim, and Ron had been allowed to stay. Kim had mentioned something about a stiff neck, but she'd planted herself at Bonnie's bedside so she could explain what had happened as soon as Bonnie woke up.

Bonnie hadn't taken the news well, and Tara had only taken it better because her biggest concern at the moment had been and was still her best friend. She hadn't seen Bonnie this upset since...well, since she'd found her crying in Auntie's arms on the night of the dance. It bothered her that Bonnie had cried so hard for her sake, but it also made her very much aware of Bonnie's feelings for her. And as she sat nearby and watched Bonnie toss and turn in her sleep, Tara was becoming more certain about her own feelings for Bonnie.

Strangely, it was her feelings for Bonnie that made Tara pull out her cell phone and highlight the number bookmarked as "Ron's Cell." She'd asked him for it that day he paid for her to have Josh's watch engraved, and dumbstruck, he had given it to her at once. Tara hadn't used it since, but now she was definitely thinking it was the next best thing to having Kim's number.

Ron picked up after two rings. "Tara?" he asked slowly, clearly shocked at finding her name on his cell phone.

"Hey, Ron. You're with Kim right now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we just stopped in to visit Mrs. Dr. P. She should be on her way up with some news for you in an hour or so. And before you ask, she didn't tell us anything you don't already know."

"Okay, thanks. You guys...aren't leaving, are you?" Tara asked.

"Um...Kim was thinking about it, actually. There's not much she can do right now, and she's not so good at feeling useless."

Tara gripped her phone tightly. "Ron, please don't let her leave! Tell her I need to talk to her. Tell her it's urgent!"

"Is it Bonnie? Did something happen?" Ron asked at once.

"No, nothing like that. But I need to see her. Please, Ron. Don't let Kim leave until I've talked to her, face-to-face."

"Sure, Tara. I'll tell her. But, um...if it's something bad, maybe-"

"It's not, I promise. But it is something she needs to hear right away."

"Gotcha. We're on our way up now."

"Thanks, Ron. Really." Tara hung up and put her phone away as Bonnie's eyes slowly flickered open. Smiling, she leaned over and brushed her lips across her best friend's cheek. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Feeling any better?"

Bonnie didn't look better; she looked exhausted and afraid. "Tell me it was a bad dream, T. Tell me she's not really..." She trailed off, staring up at Tara hopefully.

Tara shook her head sadly. "I'm so sorry, Bonnie, but she is. It wasn't a dream." She laced her fingers through Bonnie's. "I was the one who had to identify her body. I wouldn't have believed it otherwise."

Bonnie closed her eyes and squeezed Tara's hand tightly. "I was afraid of her. I said all those awful things to her. I never even thanked her for saving us. And she still loved me, anyway."

"She was a good person. It was just hard to see sometimes." Tara gently traced Bonnie's cheek with her free hand. "Know what I mean?" she asked softly, staring into Bonnie's eyes.

"Yeah," Bonnie said quietly, unable to look away. "I know what you mean."

"Good." Tara lowered her voice a bit. "She...she really was...you, Bonnie. That means you can turn out even better than she did, if you really wanted to. But I think you'd have to start taking her advice seriously. Now."

"Like what?"

"Well, you may not be ready yet, but I think apologizing to Kim for earlier would be a great start. We can work on apologizing for the rest later. But I think you should do it before Kim has more time to dwell on it."

Bonnie didn't say anything.

"You cannot look me in the eye and honestly tell me you think Kim had anything to do with Auntie's death, Bonnie. You just needed someone to blame, didn't you? Kim didn't accept it because she was guilty, she accepted it because she felt guilty. She already had the weight of Auntie's death on her. She didn't need anything else to deal with. How would you feel if I blamed Auntie's death on you?"

Bonnie gasped sharply and sat up. "I didn't-!"

"Of course you didn't," Tara said soothingly, gently pushing her back down. "But now you have some idea of how Kim feels. She tried her best for you, Bonnie. If you won't thank her, at least tell her you're sorry for what you said. It could only make apologizing to her a second time even easier. Think of this as practice."

"You make it sound so easy," Bonnie muttered.

"The kind of Bonnie I want to be with would do it, no matter how hard it was," Tara pointed out.

Bonnie stared at her. "What do you mean, when you say you want to be with me?"

"There's only one way you'll find out," Tara replied. "If you get stuck, just remember that Auntie thought the world of Kim. How bad could she really be?"

"I don't know if I can go in there again, Ron," Kim sighed.

"So we'll wait here and hope Tara comes out," Ron answered, leaning against the outer wall of Bonnie's hospital room. "Or I could call her on my cell phone when you think you're ready."

"But what can I say if she jumps down my throat again? How can I defend myself?"

"You don't have to. I'll do it, if Tara doesn't beat me to it. The point is, you can't hide from Bonnie forever. You shouldn't be hiding from her at all, KP. You didn't do anything wrong!"

At that moment, the door opened, and Tara stuck her head out. Her face lit up as soon as she spotted Kim.

"Um...you had something to tell me?" Kim asked.

"I did." Tara closed the door and walked up to Kim. Then, without warning, she wrapped her arms around Kim's neck and hugged her. "You're not a failure, Kim. Bonnie and I wouldn't be here today if weren't for you and Ron saving us all those times. So don't dwell on the one life you didn't save. Think about the hundreds that you did. Those are the ones you should remember. Those are the ones you can still help. So if you're thinking of not doing what you do anymore, then stop. We need you, and so does the rest of the world."

"Oh. Thanks," was all Kim could think to say, looking helplessly at Ron.

"Why don't you come in for a minute?" Tara asked, dragging Kim towards Bonnie's room.

"Do I have to?"

Tara smiled. "Yes, you do. Just for a minute. Bonnie has something she wants to say. Well, something I made her say. Whatever works best for you."

"Maybe I should go in, too," Ron suggested.

Tara pointed at him firmly. "Stay. This is between Kim and Bonnie. It'll just be harder if someone else is with them."

"Wait, you're not coming in with me?" Kim asked Tara.

"No. Bonnie knows what she has to do, and she doesn't need me to hold her hand for it."

"You could hold my hand instead," Kim offered with a weak smile.

"Kim, it'll be fine, and it'll only take a minute. Bonnie is just as uneasy as you are, but it needs to be said. All you have to do is listen."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Kim murmured as she eased the door open.

Bonnie's eyes snapped open as she heard the door close. She kept her gaze trained on the window. "Sit." She waited until she heard the chair by the bed shift slightly. "Sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"It's okay," Kim said at once. "I understand."

"No, you don't. Auntie was...she was great. Only she didn't let me find that out until...well, until now. So it hurts. I had to blame someone. And..."

"You invariably blame me?" Kim guessed.

"Well, you were actually there this time," Bonnie pointed out. "So I want you to tell me how it happened. Tell me how she died."

"Do you love her?" Kim asked quietly.

Bonnie blinked and finally looked at her. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. Because if you do, then it'll only hurt more when I tell you. And despite what you may think, I don't want to hurt you, Bonnie. Especially not now."

"I need to know either way," Bonnie stated.

"Fine." Kim closed her eyes. "When I found her, she was draining her blood and giving it to you. But when I realized that she wasn't going to stop, I tried to stop her. She wouldn't let me."

"So she killed herself," Bonnie said flatly.

"I wasn't...prepared for her. If I'd known how prepared she was for me, maybe I could've stopped her. But I went into this blind, and she knew it. She knew everything, I think."

"I'm starting to think that, too." Bonnie closed her eyes tightly. "Did she...say anything? About me?"

"She said you were a good kid. Or you could be, anyway." Kim paused. "I'm starting to think she was right."

"Why?"

"She seemed like a very sensible woman, all things considered. I don't think she'd give up her life for someone who wasn't worth the trouble. Tara wouldn't have sent me in here if she didn't think the same."

"You still think we're dating?"

Kim smiled. "What I think doesn't matter. She's here, and she cares about you. That much is obvious. How much she cares...I think you'd have to ask her yourself. And I think I should go now, so you can."

Bonnie bit her lip as Kim stood up, and managed to remain quiet when she headed for the door. "Wait!" she finally cried as Kim reached out to open the door.

"Yes?" Kim asked, turning around.

"Do me a favor?"

"Okay," Kim said warily.

"Tell Tara I apologized. About earlier. She'll believe you."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah." Bonnie lowered her voice. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For...trying to save Auntie."

Kim looked a little surprised, but she nodded. "You're welcome," she said before opening the door and walking out.

A few minutes later, Tara came back. "See, that wasn't hard at all, was it?" she asked.

Bonnie didn't say anything, even when Tara came over and squeezed her hand.

"Don't you feel better, at least?"

"Now that you're here, yes."

Tara grinned. "Well, you're supposed to, silly."

"I want you there when I do the big apology."

"Okay. You have a date in mind?"

"No."

"Do you think she'll accept?"

"What can I do if she doesn't?" Bonnie countered.

"Nothing, I guess. But I don't think she'd refuse to forgive you, if you show her you really mean it."

"How do I do that?"

"You'll think of something, I'm sure," Tara said confidently.

"Is this...hard for you?" Bonnie asked suddenly.

Tara blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...well...because of Josh."

Tara stared at her. "What about him?"

Bonnie couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You DO remember Josh?"

"Of course I remember him, Bonnie. What I don't understand is why you're bringing him up."

"I just thought...since he died so recently, and-"

"This situation has nothing to do with that one. So why do you think this is hard for me?"

"I...I wasn't sure if you were...well...over him."

"That would depend on your definition, I guess. It's been a long time since I last burst into tears over him, if that's what you mean. I prefer to remember him the way he was, not the way he died. But I can't really do that with Auntie, since she died for you. But that will help me remember what kind of person she was...and what kind of person she wanted you to be." Tara smiled and raised Bonnie's hand to her face, brushing her lips across Bonnie's knuckles. "The kind of person I would be proud to be with."

Suddenly, the only sound Bonnie could hear was the loud beating of her own heart. That, and Dr. Possible clearing her throat quietly from the doorway.

"Sorry to interrupt, girls, but I've got the charts on Bonnie's blood work. I think you'll be pleased to know that Bonnie is in perfect health. At least, we all think she is."

"You think?" Tara asked slowly.

"Well, that's the thing. By our standards, she's healthy. But our standards don't really apply in this case, because quite frankly, we can only identify about 70 of Bonnie's blood content. The rest seems to be made up of unknown cells and...other things. We have been able to identify a toxin that's normally found in-"

"Jellyfish?" Bonnie asked.

"Yes," Dr. Possible said slowly. "And even that's undergone some sort mutation. Anything else I could tell is purely guesswork on our part. I don't suppose you know anything else? Perhaps something maybe too many people shouldn't hear?"

"Something like that," Bonnie murmured. "Sorry."

"It's fine, Bonnie. This is a difficult time for you, and I understand the need for secrecy in certain cases. I just hope you're aware enough of the situation that you would know if something were wrong."

"I'm...pretty sure I'm fine," Bonnie replied. "For now, at least."

"Well, Kim mentioned that Global Justice is taking a thorough look at that underground vault as we speak. If your aunt left any of her things at your house, you'll want to secure them in a safe place before the agents start poking around."

"You said I'm okay. So can I go home right now?"

Dr. Possible seemed hesitant about the suggestion. "I suppose. Normally, I'd warn you about being careful in your delicate condition, but again, I'm not quite sure what your condition is. Still, maybe you should...just..."

"I'll keep her at home for a few days," Tara volunteered. "It'll give us time to collect Auntie's things and...talk."

"That's probably for the best. Feel free to call me here or at home if you have any questions...or answers, for that matter."

Reviews!

Sand Lord

This got me wondering. I like that in stories. Shego was interested in Auntie Bonita and in turn this allowed Bonita to make her move and carry out her plan. But the Brain Pain continues: Bonita remembers Kim's trip in time to Shegoton, but this timeline vanished or separated when Ron destroyed the Tempus Simia. All are safe and sound. But Bonita still continues with her plan and her sacrifice. Doesn't that mean that Bonnie has to do with Shego taking over and she needs a change of heart to prevent this future. Or is it really "only" an attempt to get Bonnie thinking. Hmm. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work!

The way I look at it is this: if Shego could take over the world once, she could do it again. In fact, since she's done it once, it's even more likely, since history repeats itself. And it's very unlike Shego not be prepared for Kim eventually catching up to her, especially if a future version of herself had warned her (again). Plus, I wonder: when Ron destroyed the Tempus Simia, did the idol itself cease to exist, or did its two parts just return to their original hiding places in the repaired timeline? If it's the latter, then the events from the movie really could happen all over again, with minor changes (such as certain people retaining vague memories of the lost timeline, like Ron's meatcake outburst). I think the effect would be strongest in people who were either closest to the idol at the time of its destruction, or those who possessed it longest. Either way, Shego comes out of it with some extra knowledge, which she can pass on to Bonita. If the process repeats itself enough, you eventually have a Shego (and probably a Ron and Kim) that remembers virtually everything about the "lost" timeline. And I'd be shocked if anyone understood all that.