A/N Hey all, welcome to chapter two! Yay! I'm so sad the Twilight Zone is over, but after doing a horror story like that it's kind of fun to do a comedy. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, I'm hoping I can have enough of an attention span for twenty, but I'll try for over ten first. Wish me luck! I mean, unless you don't want to… heh heh. I doubt there will be any Yaoi (a million reviewer just left the story right there XD), for most of the characters are too insane for any kind of serious relationship thing though I have nothing against it.
Review Responses:
Chapter One:
The Silver Kitty: My first reviewer! (huggles and gives a cookie) Heh, heh never did find out who won.
Wanchoo: Nah, in the game Roy is sixteen and Marth is eighteen, so he's literally is a couple years younger XD Marth calls him a boy in this chapter because, well I guess he's a little conceited.
Mr. Lefty: Yes, yes I do. Heh thanks
Teh Critter: Thank you!
Blazing Fool: (is naïve) Oh of course! Take it since you said it was worthless! (gives stuff) Heh heh thanks!
Eternal Smasher: Thank you!
It never fully said in the game, so I've always assumed Link was seventeen and Young Link was ten, it seemed right lol
Those characters are paired with each other (sometimes).
Definite: (if you look at the moves of the characters you'll see where I got these)
Ness/Zelda (PK Fire/ Dins Fire, PSI Shield/ Nayrus' Love etc.)
Kirby/Jigglypuff (Jumps, Pounds, etc.)
Mewtwo/Samus (Charge Shot/ Shadow Ball, etc.)
Sort of:
Peach/Yoshi (their down A moves, egg toss/ turnip throw etc.)
Then, Luigi confuses me… but I'll find something. DK you're right about and the Ice Climbers I will pair with each other I suppose O.o
I'm not mad! Heh, criticism is good! (gives a muffin)
DPL: Heh heh, I'm sure Marth would rather wait…
PirateGoddess27- Heh, thank you lol. Yeah, Marth has it tough XD
BabyGurl1278- Now who could forget Roy right? lol.
shadowdragon93- You're wish is granted, or hope… yeah. Thanks!
Thank ya reviewers! XD
Disclaimer- (sigh) I don't own either SSBM or Fire Emblem.
Life after Exile
Chapter Two – The Fed-Ex crate
"Falco! You bastard! That was my arm! Why is your gun shooting my arm!" I frowned as I turned over putting the pillow over my head, trying to get a little sleep and block out the sound from outside. However, with my luck, that wasn't going to happen…
"Why is your arm in the way of my gun Fox? HUH?"
"ARGH! THE PAIN!"
"Geez, I only shot you with my gun. Stop bleeding and twitching on the floor." There was another gunshot which caused me to cringe slightly. "DUDE! THAT'S MY FREAKIN' LEG! WHY'RE YOU SHOOTING MY FREAKIN' LEG?!"
"MAYBE BECAUSE YOU SHOT MY FREAKIN' ARM!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU TOO!" There was a momentary silence in which I attempted to fall back asleep, but one of the voices ruptured it causing my eyes to shoot open.
"I'm sorry Falco, you're my best friend."
"You're mine also." I glanced at my clock; it was two in the morning. Enraged at the lack of sleep I was getting, I snatched my pillow, a blanket, and a hair brush, stuffed them into a bag and quickly opened the door to the hallway where the walking fox and bird were sitting hugging each other in a friendly way.
"Look," I said to them, my face was a red color as I tried to conceal my anger. "I am tired. I am going downstairs to sleep, but if I hear a single scream from you two and will kill you with my bare hands? Got it!" They both nodded as I walked off though I could still vaguely hear their voices from down the hall.
"What's his problem?"
"Must be her time of the month."
"Oh, I'm not sure if that was a girl or not… DUDE! YOU JUST POKED MY ARM!"
"I DID NOT!"
"OH THE PAIN!"
…
Ding Dong!
My eyes shot open with the sound as I struggled to get off the soft couch to investigate what the noise possibly could have been. It was the echo of a bell ringing outside the door… but what could it be? As my sleepy mind contemplated this question the bell rang again, more urgently this time. However I still sat pondering what could be possibly be making that sound when a voice from outside the entrance screamed "Open the damned door will ya!" I banged my fist into my hand in triumph completely ignoring the voice.
"It's a doorbell!" Then after my amazing discovery I opened the door. "May I help you?" There was a man in a brown uniform looking me over with an incredulous look in his eye that seemed to mock me.
"What? Did you come outta the renaissance or something?" I glanced down at my clothes; I was still wearing my shoulder armor, cape, and even my tiara.
"Renaissance? What's … ah nevermind, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I have a delivery for Master Hand, is he here?"
"No, he left a while ago. I'll take the package to him if you want."
"Well this is no normal package." I glanced down; there was a crate next to him which had been bound shut by heavy straps. "It took us forever to get it… I'm not sure if it's legal to do this or not…"
"Why? What's inside?" The delivery man looked at me in fear.
"A half dragon…"
"A… what?"
"It was a real pain in the ass to catch; it kept setting people on fire and ranting about killer muffins. I suggest you leave the box closed until Master Hand gets back." I looked at the box which moved when whatever was in it pounded angrily. The delivery man steadied the box and said "Here." brandishing a smaller package which was wrapped in a brown paper. I looked at it curiously.
"What is it?"
"The half dragon's weapon, Master Hand wanted it as well. So will you take the box? We sure as hell won't take that thing back with us! I wish you luck."
"Well… actually, perhaps you should keep-"
"Excellent!" cried the man desperately pushing the box into the house. I moved aside to not be hit be the box while frantically protesting he take it back. He placed the box in the middle of the room and turned back to me and said, "Tell Master Hand I'll accept his payment later!" With that he ran from the mansion leaving the door wide open screaming about how a burden was lifted from him. I sighed and closed the door, all sleep had gone by now, and I came back into the room curious to see what exactly was in the mysterious crate. Gently I put the other package on a coffee table and looked the box over. It was rocking back and forth rather dangerously and making quite a racket.
"Be quiet! You'll wake the Smashers!" I cried not even sure if whatever was in there could hear me. To my utter surprise the box stopped moving.
"Then let me out! It's dark in here!" wailed a muffled voice from within.
"You can talk?"
"Yes." replied the creature curtly. "Of course I can, too much some people say… who're you?"
"Marth." I said lacking enthusiasm. It just wasn't the same without a fancy title to go around it.
"Can you let me out Marth?"
"No! According to that delivery man you're hazardous!"
"I only set a couple people on fire… it was no big deal really…"
"I think setting people fire is a big deal!"
"But-!" The voice was trembling slightly and stopped speaking and soon I could hear soft sobs from inside. At first I tried to ignore it and sat down on the couch, arms folded, listening to the howls and pleas. However I could feel them slowly eating away at my heart until…
"Fine!" I snapped quieting the voice at once. "I'll let you out! However you'd better stay quiet when you get out understand?"
"Thank you! Oh… yes." I reached for the straps and slowly began to undo them. They weren't hard to get off; all you had to do was pull the strap through a metal ring and unhook it from a piece of metal which went through the strap onto the rung. Having unfastened the first strap I began to unbuckle the second one and finally I pulled the two off and backed away from the box.
The front part slowly opened and out of the crate came a boy the age of sixteen, his fiery red hair was messily arranged and his shining blue eyes sparkled in gratitude. He was wearing shoulder armor similar to mine and he also had a flowing cape behind him. His hair was held up by a headband which went across his forehead; he was happily cheerfully grinning once he noticed me standing a slight distance away in fear. "Thank so much! It was getting stuffy in there!" I blinked in surprise.
"Wait… you're a kid!"
"Yep!" This boy looked vaguely familiar. After a couple moments of thought it finally hit me.
"I know you, Master Hand showed you to me on his 'computer'. You're the boy who's going to be my clone for the fights. What's your name?"
"Roy!" He gave the box a nervous glance once he was fully out. "You're not going to put me back in there are you? I'm afraid I don't like boxes that much anymore…"
"No! Of course not! Unless you don't cause trouble that is…" Roy gave me frightened look and glanced back at the box.
"I won't!" he replied quickly as he took a seat on the couch. Satisfied I took a seat next to him.
"Might I ask how you got in such a situation?"
"Well… you see… I had been outside my fathers manor just lazing around when all of the sudden a giant machine came up next to me with the words 'FedEx' written on the side. Then, much to my surprise, a couple men in brown uniforms came out of it and asked me to come with them to the Smashers' Mansion. Having no idea what that was I simply replied 'No.' and went back to whatever I was doing. The men did not seem satisfied and they said they would give me a muffin if I went with them. I gladly agreed for I really do like muffins and so they handed me one, I ate it and blacked out. The next thing I knew I was being forced into a box and there with three man on fire, running and screaming around it… so where am I?"
"The SSBM mansion, as it's called. I know very little about it or where it is, I came here after…" I paused, figuring I had already said too much. "Well that's not important, you're here to become a Smasher, and were recruited by Master Hand, the giant floating hand who runs this place… I really don't know much else." Roy thought about this for a moment.
"Alright." he said after a while. "Sounds fun!"
"Fun?"
"Yeah fun!"
"You were forced into a box, shipped to mansion, and you'll be forced to live and fight away from home and you think that's fun?"
"Well, you make it sound so unfun…"
"Unfun is not a word!"
"Says who?"
"Says-" Who did make up the basic rules of grammar and langue? I pondered this for a moment and then pushed it from my mind. "Nevermind, I think I'll go back to bed…" I got up to leave because, after my initial surprise, my lack of sleep began to take its toll. Roy blue eyes widened in fear.
"Don't!"
"Why?"
"I don't want to be by myself!"
"What? Why not?"
"I just don't…" I sighed.
"Alright then." Inside my mind I searched for a conversation topic. Finally, I came across one. "So, are you really a half dragon? He said there was one in the box, but you are person…"
"Ah!" said Roy proudly, his expression changing altogether as he leaned back on the couch. "I actually am half dragon!"
"You're joking right?"
"Nope."
"So one of your parents was a dragon?"
"Yep!"
"But…" I sighed; it was just too early for logic. At that moment, the doorbell rang once again preventing me from pressure the topic further. Being fully cognizant I called,
"Who is it?"
"Master Hand! Open up!"
"Don't you have a key or something?"
"Wha? Oh, yes I do!" After a clinking sound from outside, a couple 'Damn, that's not the right one's the door opened. "Oh!" cried Master Hand blissfully as he spotted Roy who sitting placidly on the couch. "It's our new contestant! I'm Master Hand."
"Nice to meet you!" Roy replied pleasantly. "Really, it is, I've never met a talking hand before…"
"Seriously? You people act like it's uncommon or something… well Roy, why not come up to my office? I'll explain what going on, like I did with Marth."
"Alright!" Roy replied, sounding rather chipper as he followed the giant hand up the stairs. "'Night Marth!"
"Goodnight Roy." I replied sleepily after the two went up stairs. Immediately as they went up I could hear the screams from the Fox and Falco, Master Hands' angered cry and the two came running down the stairs into the kitchen. I blinked slowly, and got up ready to ascend the stairs, deciding it was more quiet there than here.
…
I awoke again at about eight with the sunshine blaring into the room. It was warm though, and comfortable, so I closed my eyes and continued to lie in bed a bit longer. I didn't want to get up then, and nothing could make me…
"Marth…" called a voice gently outside the door. I ignored it and turned over. "Come on Marth!" the voice further protested. There was a defeated sigh from outside and I could hear the door creak as it opened. "Wake up!" This time the voice was even closer, it was right by my bed. This time I felt hands grasp my shoulders and legs and, with a firm shove, I found myself being roughly tossed out of the bed with all the blankets and pillows falling onto my head causing me to let out an excited yelp. After struggling to get freed from the tangle of blankets I stood up in a huff glaring at Roy who was standing on the other side of the bed with a guilty smile. My face flushed with anger and embarrassment.
"What?" I snarled, as my eyes gleamed dangerously. Roy shuffled his feet a little under my intense gaze but bravely answered,
"The new people are meeting downstairs in the living room in about an hour to find out what we'll be doing for this 'fighting thing' and what it is."
"I'll be there." I hissed angrily. The half dragon nodded and left with one last culpable look at me. Still grumbling I took off my tunic (it was in one of the drawers for me to change into for night) and changed back into my normal clothes. Once I had done that I grabbed my tiara and carefully placed it on my head making sure not to ruin my hair. Some people say the tiaras are kind of girlish but hey, what makes a guy look tougher than a diamond tiara?
…
I ascended the stairs and took one of the long halls down the living room where I could see Roys' flaming red hair above all else. After I taking a seat next to him and glanced around at the rest of the competition. Not too many people there seeing as it wasn't the full amount, I barely recognized any of them, but one I did…
"Heymarthhowreyoudoingtoday!" asked Young Link excitedly as he ran to me. I gave him a nervous smile as I worked to decipher the sentence.
"Good," I said finally "and you and you're older self?"
"Werereallyexcitedwellatleastiamidontknowhowhefeelssincehecanttalkhahah" I blinked for this sentence could not be understood by any human. In passing, I glanced at Roy to see if he knew what the child had said, but his look was just as confused. So I decided to use one of things I normally proclaimed as Prince to get myself out of embarrassing situations.
"Yes well, I must go to execute the peasants…" As I got up to go Master Hand floated into the room.
"Sit." he ordered me immediately. I gave him an indignant glare, and then obeyed. "Now, you all may be curious why you're here... Welcome to the Super Smash Brothers show!" He waited for an excited applause which he got none. "Yes, well, do any of you know what that is? Yes, Young Link?"
"Isitthatshowwhereallthepeoplefightandstuffandarelikedudeimfighting!" Master Hand was silent.
"Why are you speaking so fast?" he eventually asked. "Did you have sugar?" Young Link nodded excitedly. Roy let out a little gasp and suddenly called out,
"Why does he get sugar! I want sugar!"
"No." Master Hand replied curtly. "No sugar for you, Young Link who gave you it?"
"Ganondorfbecausehesaiditwouldbereallyfunnyifiwentallphyscoand-"
"Point to the person please…" The little elf pointed at a tan skin man with red hair who was sitting calmly on the couch with his arms crossed. "Gannondorf, why give him sugar?"
"It's funny." The man replied as Young Link jumped up and down excitedly.
"Yesitsfunnybutillstayquietforyoumasterhand!" Master Hand gave him a confused look so; to get his meaning across, Young Link pretended to zip his mouth shut.
"Ah yes." replied Master Hand approvingly. "Thank you. Now, Super Smash Brothers show is a television program in which we pit fighters, all from different backgrounds to fight each other. Now all of you come from different areas of one big world called 'Nintendo'. I have given each of the areas codenames which are normally related to important people or items which reside in that particular area. There was a previous season of the show before in which Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox and Pikachu starred, and were joined by Jigglypuff, Captain Falcon, Ness and Luigi later. So, with that being a huge success I've decided to host a second season with all of you and them! You all will be broken into pairs with your clones." I noticeably groaned but Roy simply asked,
"Do you have a stomach ache? You sound like you're in pain."
"With that over," continued Master Hand. "I would like to speak with last years' participants and inform them about all of you. So basically, we'll be talking about you all behind your backs' and after that we'll begin the first battle on air! So everyone ready? Nana? Popo? Zelda? Sh-" he paused and looked around the room. "Hey Zelda… where's Shiek?" One of the princesses stood up with her blue eyes wide with fear.
"Oh! I'll go get him for you!" Quickly she ran out of the room, and a moment after she left a man in a blue body suit and a turban ran in panting heavily.
"I'm here Master Hand sir..." he managed out between gasping breaths.
"Excellent, excellent, but where's Zelda." Shiek immediately stopped panting and straightened up to full height.
"Want me to go get her?" Before Master Hand replied the man ran out of the room and Zelda returned looking exhausted and red in the cheeks.
"Oh good! Zelda's here! What about-"
"Shut. Up." Zelda interjected furiously.
"Well." Master Hand continued completely forgetting Shiek after deciding it was too much work to get them both in here. "You are all dismissed until further notice! Why not go up to your rooms?"
"Why? You don't want us listening?" asked Falco as he cocked an eyebrow at the giant hand.
"No… of course not… but, yeah, you're right… let's try it like this. Up to your rooms or I'll shoot you where you stand."
"Sit." I corrected.
"Whatever!" He put his fingers in the shape of a gun at shot it at me. At first I figured he was just playing around but when actual missiles came out of his fingers I let out a frightened cry and darted out of the way. Once the action ended everyone rushed to the stairs to get up to their rooms, with me at the lead.
A/N How was it? I know I haven't really gotten to the other Smashers yet but the next chapter we get to some fighting so you'll see them. Thank you all! (bows) R&R! And if anyone was curious to see what Young Link had said I broke up the sentence for you.
1: Hey Marth, how're you doing today?
2: We're really excited well, at least I am, I don't know how he feels since he can't talk
hah hah.
3: Gannondorf because he said it would be really funny if I went all psycho and-
I forget what number come next: Yes it's funny but I'll stay quiet for you Master Hand!
Writing wise I don't think this chapter wet well, but it was harder because I was trying to introduce Roy and the tournament, but I'm sure the next one will be better. Until then, bye! (gives everyone muffins)