A/N Welcome to chapter three! Yay! I'm sorry it's a bit late but… excited?
Audience: (crickets)
(coughs nervously) Um… yes, well... we'll have some fighting in this chapter, and some kind of plotline should form. Besides that there are no other notes I can think of…
Review Responses:
The Silver Kitty: Yes, you're nice. gives an entire bowl of cookies Thank you!
Wanchoo: sniffle Here, you can have a waffle instead, oh wait… it's blue berry too… damn Eggo and their blueberry waffles… Thank you!
Teh Critter: Ah well, I'm glad you left one lol. Thank you!
PirateGoddess27: it is… glares at Microsoft spell check
Microsoft spell check - what?
You said unfun isn't a word…
Microsoft spell check - well, I… what's that axe for? Are you- ah! Get away from me! runs
Heh heh, thank you!
BabyGurl278: Heh heh, dangerous giving the guy sugar XD Thank you!
Eternal Smasher: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, cupcakes! XD Thank you!
Libster: I missed you! Thanks!
Blazing Fool: (blinks) Mind? I - I have one? Hmm… you learn something new everyday… yes! I wants to buy stuff! What a great deal! XD Thank you!
Swese- Heh, I like Marth too (as you can tell lol), but a lot of people have been request that one character show up more, I've already planned something for both Zelda and Link, so I promise you'll see her lol.
Ri2- Heh, another reviewer asked that too, I gave him this response:
Those characters are paired with each other (sometimes).
Definite: (if you look at the moves of the characters you'll see where I got these)
Ness/Zelda (PK Fire/ Dins Fire, PSI Shield/ Nayrus' Love etc.)
Kirby/Jigglypuff (Jumps, Pounds, etc.)
Mewtwo/Samus (Charge Shot/ Shadow Ball, etc.)
Sort of:
Peach/Yoshi (their down A moves, egg toss/ turnip throw etc.)
Then, Luigi confuses me… but I'll find something. DK I dunnoabout and the Ice Climbers I will pair with each other I suppose O.o
I doubt the fighting will be my main focus but I'll make sure everyone gets a partner. Thank you for the review! (oy is right, it confuses me too lol)
RoyalFanatic- Thank you! I add so many stories too my favorites lol, at one point I had ninety eight and had to delete older ones XD
Andersonfanandadmirer- Not necessarily… you! points at random person
Person: yes?
Me: chucks muffin
Person: Ah! O.O
yep… thank you! XD
Thank you Reviewers! XD
Disclaimer: (sigh) SSBM ain't mine just like the Twilight Zone isn't mine, though I'd like it to be, that's such a great show… though it's in black and white (coughs) sorry. I don't own Marth, Roy, or Fire emblem either. But I own the kumquat, yeeeeeees, the kumquat!
Life After Exile
Chapter 3- The Smash Champ
"Well?" Roy crossed his arms impatiently as looked me over with his bright blue eyes. I turned around to face him.
"Well what?" Currently we were standing upstairs after Master Hand had, ever so nicely, dismissed us to our rooms.
"Aren't we going to go spy on the meeting?"
"No." I responded stiffly, for I was still quite miffed about being pushed out of my bed this morning. Roy however seemed to take no notice of my anger.
"Why not? Think of what we could find out!"
"Like what?"
"Like… stuff."
"Wow, stuff." I muttered sarcastically.
"Yes, I'm glad you understand the immensenessness of the situated situation…"
"…Immensenessness?"
"Yes." said Roy impatiently as if I were a slow child. "Of the situated situation. So are we going?"
"No." With a glare at him I turned to walk down the hall to my room, but before I could even take a step I felt my tiara being ripped off my head. I spun around to face Roy, who was grinning mischievously and began to run down the hall waving the tiara over his head screaming,
"COME GET IT IF YOU DARE!" I felt my face redden with both embarrassment and rage as people turned to the scene and I bounded down the hall after the red haired pyromaniac with every intention to kill him.
…
"ROY!" I screamed at the top of my lungs after I followed him throughout the halls. Finally he stopped at the foot of the stairs, looked back at me, quickly he thrust the tiara in my hands (which were in a position to grab his and strangle him) and pulled me toward him while putting me into a headlock and covering my mouth. I struggled for a moment while letting out muffled cries, Roy was surprisingly strong (or perhaps I was surprisingly weak) but I quickly stopped when I heard voices echoing from downstairs.
"What do you all think of the new contestants?" came Master Hands' unmistakable voice. "Mario?" Finally I managed to signal to Roy that I'd stay if he let me go, and so he did. I peaked around the edge of the wall, down the stairs where I could see figures standing in the living room conversing. A man in a red hat and overalls jumped a little when Master Hand spoke to him.
"They seem-a fine." he replied with a shrug.
"Link?" In reply, Link only glared at the hand as to say 'You know I can't answer you moron.' Master Hand gave a nervous cough. "Sorry Link, I forgot. Ness, tell me how Link feels about the new constants."
"Say please." Ness, a kid with black hair and red hat, answered smugly.
"No."
"Link says that he's glad there are other swordsmen so he doesn't feel stupid, though isn't happy about his younger self being here. He says Young Link is rather annoying."
"How does he know what Link wanted to say?" I whispered to myself; however Roy seemed to think I was addressing him for he replied,
"Ness is physic. I found out this morning because he started reading my mind when I was thinking about Lilina… in ways she wouldn't be to happy about…" Assuming Lilina was his girlfriend (how he got one, I do not know) I nodded and resumed listening to the conversation.
"Alright, Captain Falcon?" A rather strong looking man with a blue helmet lazily looked up.
"That girl with the sword is cute."
"…What girl?"
"The one with the blue hair, you know her name's Martha or somethin'…"
"That's a guy." All the color drained from his face.
"Are you serious!"
"Yes." Roy sniggered as my face became as red as his hair. Master Hand gave a little sigh and continued, "Anyway, we're about ready for the fighting we'll be using different arenas than last season except of course, mostly from your worlds, a temple in Hyrule, Onett, the F Zero track etc. Is everyone alright with that?"
"Well, they're just made to look like our homes right?" asked Mario nervously. "I mean we're not actually fighting there…"
"No, we're fighting in the actual places."
"But you set up safety codes right?"
"Safety codes?" asked Master Hand with a little laugh. "What's that?" Everyone exchanged nervous glances as the Hand finished his speech, "Well that about wraps it up, you may all head upstairs and get the other contestants, we're ready for the fighting. However, I think I'm going to go upstairs and check if someone's listening to our conversation."
"Why?" Ness inquired. "We're finished anyway."
"Because… I… shut up." With that Master Hand began ascend the stairs.
"Marth!" called Roy in a nervous whisper. "Why did you force me to come here? Now we're going to get caught!" I placed my tiara back on my hair carefully and gave the mamkute a glare.
"Me? You-! Ah nevermind. We won't get caught."
"Really?" I turned around to see Master Hand floating menacingly behind us. "Link!" The elf came upstairs with a look that clearly said 'What? Am I your servant or something?' Master Hand ignored his glare and continued, "Tell the newbies to come downstairs; I'll take Roy and Marth down myself…"
…
"Alright!" Everyone was all sitting downstairs quietly as Master Hand came into the room dropping Roy and I unceremoniously on the floor. "We're ready to start the fighting. As you all know last seasons' Smash Champ was Jigglypuff." There was a series of groans as a small pink puffball stood up beaming. "The Smash Champ will fight the first match then the one to beat her becomes the new Smash Champ. I will choose a card. Each card has the name of every contestant here…"
He attempted to pick up a card unsuccessfully. "Link! Get up here a pick a card!" The disgruntled elf grabbed one of the cards and showed it to Master Hand who glanced at Roy and I and muttered, "No, not that one…" Link picked up another card and showed it to him. "Yes… that's good. Jigglypuffs' first contender will be… Marth! Well what are the chances of that?" I sighed as there were a series of sniggers from the other contestants. Something was strange though, last years competitors seemed solemn faced as they gazed at me… "Well let us start the fighting!" Master Hand made a grand gesture in the air and began to leave for the next room, the Smashers grudgingly followed.
…
The room we came into wasn't very elegant all it had several screens placed around and several chairs. Drab really, I was expecting something better. One thing made this room unique however; there were two metal doors at one end which gleamed ominously as if it were trying to warn us of the impending doom inside. Curious, I approached one and knocked a bit to see what was in there. Not a single sound from inside. I turned around to perhaps ask Master Hand but there was Ness with a look of sorrow on his face. "I wish you luck."
"Why? It doesn't look that hard to beat." Completely forgetting the door (for now I was interested in finding out what was up with everyone) I glanced at the pink puffball who was putting power on its face while looking at itself in a mirror. It glanced over at me and called,
"Jiggly puff puff! Jig!"
"What'd it say?" Ness shifted uncomfortably and answered.
"It said; I need to look pretty for when I beat you Marthy." The puffball smirked at me and went back to what it was doing. "Be careful Marth, that thing went completely undefeated last year…" I snorted in reply,
"I've beaten men much tougher than that."
"Have you beaten anything cuter than that?"
"Wha-" Before I could question that statement Master Hand picked me up opened the metal door, and flicked me in.
"This is a teleporter." he explained as he picked Jigglypuff up and placed her in the other door. "This will take you both to a safe battle location. I was thinking… Hyrule Temple! Oh and by the way, I got your sword back for you." He grabbed my precious sword, Falchion, and threw it into the room. I glared at him, hoping it wasn't dented, and picked it up.
"How'd you get it back?"
"Ah, that's a story for another time." I had a feeling this story entailed a giant hand setting Altea on fire. "Now to the temple!" Before I could protest anything he closed both the doors leaving me alone in the dark. I sighed and turned around, but to my surprise I was floating in the sky rapidly approaching a crumpled building. I looked back to see the door, but it was gone, now I was standing on a little platform. My body was suddenly overtaken by a cold feeling, and I was frozen in place. Before I could even begin to wonder what the hell was going on a voice called,
"Hey Marth? Can you hear me? Of course you can, how couldn't you? This is Master Hand speaking through a voice emitter from the platform. Now you're probably what the hell is going on, right?"
"Yes." I muttered softly. "Why can't I move?"
"So you and Jigglypuff can start at the same time. While on the platform you're frozen in place, however once you approach the temple and hear, READY? GO! you'll be unfrozen and the match will begin. What you have to do is knock your opponent off the arena. You'll find your abilities are enhanced here; you have a double jump, and a shield. This is something you should have worked on in training."
"But, I've never-"
"You never trained? Well you should have…"
"But you didn't say-"
"Silence! We're approaching Hyrule Temple!" I decided to take his advice as my platform loomed nearer to the sanctuary.
…
"READY….?" My platform stopped above the temple, I could vaguely make out Jigglypuffs' outline as her platform moved vertically parallel to mine. "GO!" My body unfroze as I began to plummet toward the unforgiving stone floor. Jigglypuff had also fallen, but was unharmed and was standing before me grinning manically.
"Jigg, puff, puff!" I got to my feet and brushed my pants off.
"Whatever." I looked down at her to add a rather nasty word but I found my voice frozen in my throat. The puff balls' eyes were wide, and the most adorable smile dawned on its face. I blinked and raised my sword to hit it…but I couldn't… it was… so… cute! I dropped my sword and fell to my knees still staring at the creature. "You're… so… adorable!" Jigglypuff titled its head at me, smiled and suddenly launched itself forward hitting me in the stomach. I flew through the air and hit one of two pillars in the temple. Ow… what the hell just happened! Jigglypuff suddenly ran up to me, jumped, and kicked, hitting me squarely in the jaw. "OW! You brof my jaw you bifth!" The Pokemon grinned at me one more.
"Jig. Puff. Jig." I covered my mouth in pain and kicked the thing away from me in disgust. Alright… I have to think clearly… Jigglypuff had run up to me and was now biting me on the ankle making it quite hard to do so. Ow! OW! Damnit! SH- no!… calm down… and… think. And I did so, my current situation was good (not to mention increasingly strange) I was standing in a temple, with a broken jaw, and there was an overly cute puffball chomping down on my leg. But it's not hopeless! I gave my leg a little shake as a possible solution for the increasing pain. No effect. So, with a cry of pain, I pried the pink demon from my leg and threw it into the ground. Jigglypuff rolled around gave me another kick n the stomach causing me to fall onto my knees and then, it began to sing.
I had never heard such a soothing melody in my life, the song radiated off the walls of the temple, and flowed around me as if it was sweetly calling, 'Sleep Marth… sleep…' I pushed Falchion into the ground and leaned on it, happy to comply. The show didn't really matter that much to me anyway… when I finally came to my senses the song had stopped and Jigglypuff dealt me another kick in the face.
I fell backward and grabbed Falchion and swung it her. Jigglypuff looked up at me with a hurt expression, I knew it was trying to fool me with its' cuteness again… but it was hard to resist… then it came to me, no matter how cute she was… I was better! It was just a ball of fluff! Girls swooned over me! I grinned triumphantly in my egocentric moment while looked at the puffball with a superior stance.
"If's fot wofking." I informed her and brought Falchion down onto her blasting Jigglypuff right out of the stadium. I collapsed onto the ground but before I could even relax the platform came up from under me (from nowhere it seemed) and swooped me up into the sky.
…
I managed to pull my self into the viewing room with what little strength I had left. Master Hand seemed to take no notice of that. "Well done Marth! The viewers were getting a little tired of Jigglypuff always winning. The match was taped and- oh no! It didn't tape! You'll have to go back and fight again!" When he saw my alarmed look he laughed. "Nah, just kidding, how could we miss something like that? You must be in excruciating pain right now…" I nodded. "Go take an Advil." I was about to tell him that an Advil probably couldn't fix a broken jaw (and maybe a couple broken ribs I'd wager) but I had no strength to argue so I simply dragged myself to a chair and collapsed in it. "Try not to bleed in the chair okay? I like that chair." Master Hand added nonchalantly as he and another giant hand watched the footage. I nodded in pain and decided that I would simply settle for a pained whimper or two when a cat-like Pokemon approached me.
"Jigglypuff would like to talk to you." he told me with telepathy (unless he was just talking normal and I was delusional). I nodded numbly and got up to follow him to Jigglypuff. "I'm Mewtwo, and as I'm sure you deduced I encompass the use physic powers, so I will interpret her speech for you. Do you find this adequate?"
"Yef." He stopped once he heard my answer and turned.
"What is wrong with your speech?"
"I brof my 'aw and maybe som ofer fings…" Mewtwo nodded and held a hand to the side of my face. A warm feeling overtook my body and the pain slowly melted away.
"Has it recovered?"
"Yes, thank you." He paused.
"Don't bother your self. If I didn't owe that Pikachu and his friends I wouldn't have healed you."
"You owe them?"
"Yes, I'd rather not speak about it…here we are. Jigglypuff, I have brought the boy you have instructed me to bring. From now on, everything I say will be a translation for Jigglypuff unless stated otherwise." Jigglypuff waved a hand to quiet him and turned to me.
"Jigglypuff jig."
"Hello dearie, take a seat." I happily did so.
"Jigglypuff. Jig, jiggly jig puff."
"Congratulations on your win! I must admit, I was tried of having the burden of that title on my shoulders though it did sound nice…"
"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.
"Jigglypuff jig jig!"
"Jigglypuff the Smash Champ! It has such a nice ring-"
"No, I mean about it being a burden."
"Jig… jigglypuff, jiggly jig, jigglypuff puff puff, jig puff!"
"Oh… well being the smash champ has it rewards and its downfalls."
"Like what?"
"Jiggly, jiggly puff puff, jig jig puff, jigglypuff, jig, jig, puff, jig jiggly, puff jigglypuff, jiggly puff, jiggly puff puff!"
"You see, it does earn you some respect, and makes you an automatic fan favorite but there's always people trying to sabotage you out of jealously or for their own reasons, and with all the villains here, I'm rather glad I'm not the Smash Champ anymore!" Initially I had been happy about the title but now…
"Jigglypuff puff puff, jig!"
"I have to do my makeup before dinner, chow!" With that I got up, feeling less and less happy by the second…
…
"Hey Marth! Congratulations!" Roy called to me happily as I approached the door to my room. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine."
"Good because, you have another battle tomorrow! Maybe it'll be a team battle!"
"Yay." I was really tired and Roys' jabbering wasn't helping one bit.
"Yes, we're having dinner in a few. I think I'll go help cook." The thought of Roys' cooking seemed disgusting to me but I said nothing, I only opened the door, slammed it shut, and collapsed on my bed.
…
An hour later I walked down the stairway, my absolute exhaustion had long subsided and a steady rumbling of my stomach had kicked in. It didn't take long to realize I was hungry. Remembering what Roy had said I took a seat at the table next to the other Smashers when Gannondorf burst out of the kitchen balancing a single bowl on his hand. Zelda raised an eyebrow at him.
"You cooked?"
"No, Roy did. Hey bishie, this is for you." He put the bowl in front of me and sat down.
"What about the rest of us?" Young Link whined, "We wanna eat too."
"Give Roy more time to cook, you're so impatient, may Din help you." The boy whimpered in response, held his stomach and got to his feet.
"I'm going in the kitchen to get something to-"
"NO!" Gannondorf cried suddenly picking up the boy and dropping him back into the chair. "You'll err… slip and hurt yourself…. on the… octopus…" Link gave Gannondorf a look which would have said 'What octopus?' but Young Link simply sighed in relief.
"Thank you Gannondorf, I wouldn't want to fall."
"No, no you wouldn't. Marth! Why haven't you eaten?" I anxiously poked the contents of my bowl with a fork.
"Is… this safe?"
"Of course it is! Why would I give you something that would make you sick or possibly poison you to death? Eat it!" I picked up a little on my fork but before I could eat it the fork was knocked out my hand and the bowl was in half. I looked up at Link who was standing on the table, sword out, and smashing the bowl to bits.
"What the hell are you doing!" Someone yelled. Ness coughed a little and said,
"Link believes the 'food' is poison and Marth shouldn't to eat it; and he mentioned whoever couldn't see that is a moron." Caption Falcon sunk down in his chair.
"I could completely tell." he murmured softly as if trying to confirm it himself. Before I could say anything the table cloth (which had the food all over it) began to smoke and melted away, I blinked in surprise and asked,
"What the hell did Roy put in there?" Link smacked his forehead as if to say 'You idiot! Roy didn't cook that!' and began to drag me into the kitchen when Gannondorf grabbed the back of his tunic and threw him into a wall. His hands began to glow and a large crystal formed around the green clad warrior and floated up into the air. Gannondorf snarled at him, as Link pounded in his prison.
"Now I have to come up with a new plan to tamper with 'The Smash Champ'." I watched in silence and then got up quietly and walked into the kitchen while everyone was distracted.
…
"ROY!" I screamed as I entered the kitchen letting the door slam behind me. To my utter surprise he was no where in sight.
"What?" I heard Roys' muffled reply from within the closet on the far side of the kitchen. I opened the door and raised an eyebrow at him.
"What are you doing?" His back was to me and he was digging through a box while tossing stuff over his shoulder.
"Gannondorf said there were helpless pajamas in here that need my help!"
"….Pajamas, as in night clothes?"
"Yes and they need my-"
"Gannondorf tricked you, Roy… while you were in here he must have poisoned my food…" Roy finally turned to look at me; his eyelids were dropped as if under a spell.
"But the pajamas…" I sighed, he probably was under a spell, Gannondorf must have magic if he can trap people in giant crystals… Well it would probably subside soon. I decided playing along would the best solution, for now.
"You're right Roy, but I believe the pajamas are up in my room, let's go upstairs and get them, but you'll have to come out of the closet first." He happily stood up and shuffled toward me,
"If you say so, I trust you with such an important task."
"Good." With that I hit him over the head with the blunt side of Falchion.
…
"Marth, can you let me out now?" Roy whined. I groggily opened my eyes. After dinner I had locked Roy in my closet and fell asleep on the bed listening to his whines of 'I have to save my nightie!'.
"Are you still looking for pajamas?"
"No." I pulled myself out of bed and opened the door for him assuming the enchantment had worn off. When the door was fully open Roy was standing there, his eyes were wide open and he was hoping from foot to foot.
"What-?"
"I have to go to the bathroom!" Roy cried running past me and out of the room. I sighed and took a look at the clock. 1:00 am … and I still haven't eaten a thing.
…
The dinning room was engulfed in darkness when I got downstairs, except for the light of the moon which provided just enough for me to see. I could barely walk, for I was just too hungry, so I straggled about until
Crash!
I fell backward in surprise and looked up to see what I had banged into. There was the giant floating crystal, with Link sitting inside with a rather bored expression. I tapped on it to get his attention and asked,
"That thing still hasn't let up?" He nodded sullenly and let out a silent sigh. "Well I'll get Master Hand for you on my way back upstairs." I carefully edged around it into the kitchen (almost tripping across several chairs on the way).
…
"I need food…" I cried to no one in particular as I entered the kitchen. Just as I was about reach the fridge I felt something tightening around my leg. It was a rope, and I had walked straight into a trap. I let out a scream of terror as my leg was pulled out from under me and pulled up into the air stupidly suspending me above the ground and upside down. That rhymed, I should really think about taking a poetry class or something… but before I could think about that further Falchion slipped out of it's sheath and my cape fell forward (due to the laws of gravity) causing great confusion as I struggled to pick up my sword and restrain the cape at the same time. Just before I thought that this situation couldn't possibly get any worse Bowser walked in with a grin on his face,
"Gotcha!" the turtle monster cried while doing what looked like a victory dance. I scowled at him.
"So what's this supposed to do?" I finally got a hold of the cape and tried to reach for Falchion while I spoke. "Make the blood rush to my head? At least the other guy tried to eliminate me. This plan doesn't seem very deserving of your dance." Bowser stopped dancing long enough to pick up Falchion himself and gave me a sneer.
"Well you see, you didn't eat dinner, so I figured you must be hungry."
"I'm not hungry!" I lied, but my stomach gave a large rumble to betray the statement. Bowser simply waved the comment away and continued,
"So I though I could use your hunger to my advantage and wa-la!" There was silence as he triumphantly crossed his arm and grinned at me as I hung there.
"And?" I finally asked.
"And what?"
"And, what does suspending me from the ceiling have anything to do with my hunger?"
"Well… you can't get to the fridge! HA!" I glanced at the fridge which was right in front of me (upside down of course). With a glance at Bowser I reached forward, opened the door, pulled out a kumquat and began to eat it. The Koopa looked shocked.
"How? I- I think I made a mistake in the plan design… maybe – maybe I was suppose to put a shark tank under you or… something… I'll check evil plan #223 again later… for now I'll use… IMPROVISION!" He took away the kumquat and picked the fridge and placed it on the other side the room. "There, now what will you do?" Now I had several options to consider…
Scream for help
Figure out a brilliant plan
Scream for help
Or wait for a miracle to happen
I had decided that screaming for help would my best option so I opened to my mouth scream when option four occurred. The door to the kitchen suddenly burst open and there was Roy standing there hopping from foot to foot, and he cried,
"Kirby got stuck in the toilet I need the plunger because I got to gooooooo!" He seemed to take no notice of my predicament as he ran past us to the closet, quickly grabbed the plunger and began to run back when he collided with Bowser who had walked over to knock him out so he couldn't help me. Falchion flew out of Bowser hands and by fate landed before me. I strained against the rope, grabbed it and cut myself loose. As Bowser fought to free himself from the confused pyromaniac and ran to the fridge, grabbed a yogurt, and ran back out as fast as I could.
A/N Yeah, this chapter was a bit confusing, this is just Marths' daily life I guess. The next chapter is an entirely new situation which will probably take place after the fighting. I know these might by questions in reviews so I'll try to clear stuff up,
Yep, scream for help was supposed to be there twice.
I know I'm mean to Link, but I promise something really good will happen to him soon for fangirls.
That chair joke may be a running joke, I dunno, it was in the first chapter too XD
The pajama thing must have been confusing, but if you couldn't gather from the story, I'll explain it in a review response.
My kumquat! (runs off) And a kumquat is a type of fruit.
I'm sure there's a lot of grammar mistake (this might be a flame attractor but…) feel free to point em' out!
That's it! Till next time! Thank you!