Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: Pish. Seems like all I can turn out anymore is sappy romance. Grr… Anyway, I swear that this well get better, I kind of just have to warm myself up to it… Plus I kind of dislike fics where two characters are just suddenly going at it out of the blue… The chase is half the fun! So yeah, technicalities… Um, this is told in Ryou's POV by default, and if I decide to switch I'll let you know. Also, yamis have their own bodies because it's so much easier to get them into adult situations that way. No complaints? Good. I warn you now, this may not be yet, but it will become very, very mature, and there will be a great deal of yaoi and shonen-ai. Guy-on-guy, folks. Just warning you… I discovered the meaning of shonen-ai on accident, and now here I am… So, read and enjoy!

Somewhere downstairs, my yami was throwing a temper tantrum at some appliance while Yami Yugi laughed insanely and Yugi scolded him for it. There was a sudden crash and what sounded uncannily LIKE electric wires fizzing and a long moment of silence.

" Yami! What was that?" I called down the stairs.

" Ah, damn, um… The Pharaoh did it!" my yami called back. I smiled to myself and put the last of the towels into the linen closet. Yugi wasn't coming up the stairs to get me, so it couldn't be that bad.

" I did not! The Tomb Robber did it!" Yami Yugi was quick to correct him. I came down the stairs to see the stereo in many pieces on the floor and crackling dangerously. Both the present yamis looked up at me with a mixture of fear and amusement and pointed to each other.

" He did it, I saw him." They both assured me. I twisted my face into a pout as Yugi crossed his arms, trying not to snicker.

" What a mess. But I need to go change the laundry… Who'll clean it up?" I asked, focusing the force of my pout on my own yami.

" I will!" they both volunteered then turned to glare at each other. " Hey, back off!" The end result was they both scrambled around picking up the mess while they bickered like an old married couple as Yugi and I enjoyed a nice cup of tea.

" You've got that down to an art." Yugi complimented me. I smiled.

" It's easy with those two. They're so busy trying to show each other up that they can be fooled into anything." I said.

" Yeah. When do you think they'll hook up?" Yugi asked. I sipped my tea and shrugged.

" When one of them just can't take the sexual tension any longer." I answered honestly, then grimaced. " Oh, bad mental image." Yugi mimicked my expression.

" Yeah, nasty." We sat for a moment in silence and sipped our tea. " So, how about you?"

" What about me?" I asked.

" Is there anyone you want to hook up with?" Yugi asked. I smiled at him.

" Yeah, you. You're just soooo hot." I told him. Yugi flashed me a surprisingly coy grin.

" I won't cheat on Anzu, even though you're not so bad yourself." He said through his smile. " Seriously, though. Is there anyone?"

" I was serious." I said, carefully keeping my face totally deadpan. Yugi's mouth fell open, and I laughed. " Heh, you're so gullible." Yugi made a face at me followed by a rude gesture. " No, not really, Yugi, and I am being serious this time. I just don't think there's room in my life right now for someone, you know what I mean?"

" No." Yugi said, shaking his head.

" Well, I've got all my friends and my yami and my dad, when he's home. Life's not bad since things calmed down. My yami's calmed down a lot, and you guys are the best. I like my life the way it is right now." I explained.

" Now? It's so boring." Yugi said, making a face at me.

" Yeah, it is. That's why I like it." I said. I smiled into my tea cup. " Today was exactly what I expected it to be, of course, permitting for little surprises like the stereo. And tomorrow will be exactly what I expect it to be too, aside from whatever my yami blows up. My stomach's full and the only thing that hurts on me is the crick in my neck I got from sleeping on it wrong, and I'm warm and safe. I'm also confident that the people I care about are too. I guess I'm content, and I don't want to mess it up. There's no one I like like that, and I'm not looking for anyone. I'm happy the way I am. I don't think I'd complain if it stayed this way forever." Yugi shook his head.

" Whatever floats your boat." He said.

" What about you? Are you and Anzu doing okay?" I asked.

" You know, I don't know. She's so clingy one minute, and then she wants nothing to do with me the next. Sometimes I don't think we're going to be going out much longer. I think she's still crushing on Yami." He said.

" To be honest, I can't say I'm surprised. I've always thought you could do better." I said. Yugi shrugged. " Does it bother you?"

" Not as bad as I thought it would. I used to be so head-over-heels for her, and now I'm just not feeling it, you know? I guess it might be better to just cut it off before we both wind up getting hurt. I still care about her, and I don't want to see her hurt, but I don't think I'm in love with her." Yugi sighed. " If I end it now, we could both move on to bigger and better things."

" You know the drill, Yugi. Do what you feel is right for you." I said, smiling. Yugi returned my smile.

" You're always so level, Ryou. It doesn't matter how weird or chaotic life gets, you're always calm and in control. You always know just what to say and how to help people figure their problems out." He told me, and I shrugged off his praise.

" That's not true at all." I protested. " I'm awkward and shy and I scare easy. When life gets weird or crazy I'm just as freaked out as everyone else."

" You just deal with it better." Yugi finished. " One way or another, Ryou, you're a good friend, and I appreciate you always letting me and my yami come over here. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Yami's always muttering to himself about something or rather, and he's really not that much help in matters of love anyway."

" I should be thanking you. I mean, really, would you really want to stay cooped up with him all day?" I said, gesturing to the living room, where my yami was contemplating the chandelier with a very scary look on his face. " Don't even think about it!" I called to him. He looked back at me with an expression on his face not unlike a deer caught in the headlights. Yugi's yami thought this was the funniest thing this side of the Nile and guffawed loudly, which my yami naturally tackled him for, which naturally led to a very violent and offensively-articulated wrestling match which naturally led to the shattering of a set of china. Thankfully, it was not the real set of china that my mother inherited from her grandmother. That set was safely hidden in an undisclosed spot. The set that now lay in several thousand pieces was the decoy set I bought a number of years ago for the exact purpose of protecting the original set from violent, creatively cursing, wrestling yamis. Yugi shot me a frightened look, but then seeing how calm I was, decided that nothing too precious had been broken.

" Now, who's going to replace that set?" I asked, pouting.

Several hours and one shopping trip to replace a set of china later, I lay on the couch with a good book in front of me. It was a romance novel. I find that every now and again, I crave a nice, mushy romance. The kind of thing that could give you cavities. I believe the slang for it is "fluff." Momentarily bored with my reading, I put the book open to the page I was on face down on my chest. I'd never been in love, not really. Crushes, sure, who doesn't have one at some point? But I'd never really been in love. I could barely remember my mother and father together, so I didn't even know if I'd ever witnessed two people really in love. I'd been kissed, sure. I kissed a girl when I was in third grade (on a dare, for those of you that are curious), and I'd been kissed since then, though not by a girl. I stared blankly at the ceiling. It seemed like so much work. Running a house with a yami in it is a lot of work, but I love my yami, so I do it. Not love love, but like brother love. I wondered if real love was something like that, being willing to do things you wouldn't otherwise do for someone. But that sounded more like a family kind of thing. But from my reading, this was not at all like a family thing. It was more like an obsession. I didn't know if I wanted to obsess over someone, or have someone obsess over me. A yami is bad enough, thank you. I sighed and glanced at the clock. It was getting late, so I picked up my book and went up the stairs to my room, where I curled up on my bed to continue reading. I'd already showered and my hair was still wet from it, and I was looking forward to reading until I was ready to drop off into sleep. However, I was barely into my reading before my door slammed open and my yami stormed in, flopped face first on my bed, and heaved a dramatic sigh.

" Hello, yami." I said, smiling as I marked my place in my book. Yami grunted his greeting. " Did you have a good day?" I asked pleasantly. Yami grinned into my comforter.

" It was damned awful, you know that." He told me.

" Was it? Didn't seem that bad to me." I noted.

" Yeah well, that's cause you're a hikari. Always gotta look on the bright side." This was the way our nightly conversation always began, with his insistence that his day had been bad. It was a comfortable routine that I had enjoyed with my yami for years. Yami was easy for me to talk to, he understood me better than anyone else I knew, and I was always happy to be able to return the favor for him. " Dinner was really something today, Aibou. You make the best steak." Out of all the praise I get, I appreciate my yami's the most. Praise is not something he gives for no reason, and he has really high standards. Especially where food, steak in particular, is concerned.

" Just the way you like it. Practically raw." I said with a grimace.

" It was delicious." Yami said blissfully.

" I'm glad you liked it. Thank you, by the way, for doing the dishes." I said.

" No problem. Occasionally I do take it to my head to actually do something useful around here." He said flippantly.

" Think you will tomorrow?" I asked.

" Don't push your luck, hikari." He growled. I smiled at our playful banter. I was always most comfortable with him. It was in my yami's presence that I felt most safe, most at home, most me, if that makes any sense.

" Yami?" I asked. Again, he grunted in response. " Have you ever been in love?" Momentarily phased, my yami was silent and still for a moment. Then, he rolled over to give me a serious look.

" What the hell brought that up?" he asked.

" I was just thinking about it. That's all." I said.

" Are you reading those sappy women's novels again?" Yami asked accusingly.

" Oh, what's that got to do with it?" I asked in return.

" Everything. You're a fairy, Aibou." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

" Quit evading the question, will you?" I asked. He grunted and for a long moment, that seemed to be the only response that I was going to get.

" Yeah, I have." He said finally.

" Really? With who?" I asked, and got a glare in return. " Fine. What was it like?"

" Why do you want to know?" he asked. His mood had taken a sour turn.

" Because I've never been in love and I'm curious." I answered honestly.

" You don't think this is love?" Yami asked, gesturing to the two of us playfully. I smiled at him.

" Of course it is. But you know what I mean." I said.

" Yeah, I do." Yami agreed, rolling onto his back and putting his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling for a long moment. " I don't know how to describe it, Aibou. It's not like anything else. It's like… They're all you can think about, you know? All you can see. When they're with you, your whole world seems right. When you hold them and they hold you, everything is peaceful. When they're gone, you hurt. You ache. You want them back and you'll do whatever you have to to get them back. Seeing them happy is everything to you. Their pleasure is yours, and so is their pain. You want to share everything that you have with them, and share in their pain and triumph and sorrow and joy. I guess it's not that much different than being hikari and yami. It's not better or worse, but it is on a totally different level." He said. I mulled this over for a moment.

" Are you in love right now?" I asked.

" With you and only you." He answered, grinning. I knew he didn't mean that like some people would take it. We loved each other, but it was more like a brotherly love.

" No one else?" I asked.

" Well, define love." He requested.

" Not a shag-buddy." I said easily. Yami grinned. " Someone you really care about and they care about you in return. Someone that you feel for like you were talking about."

" Then no, not really." He answered. I thought about Yugi's yami. Would they ever really hook up? " I'm very faithful, aibou, you know that."

" Yes I do." I agreed. My yami was faithful to me, even though I most certainly never asked it of him. He was too faithful, and to a person who wanted him to fall in love, for real.

" You're so sappy, aibou, let's stop talking about this." Yami said. I nodded at him and smiled for his reassurance. " I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning, Aibou." He said cheerfully, hopping off my bed and leaving the room, looking just as cocky and self-assured as always. Just like the day I first met him.

I think at this point I should elaborate on my relationship with my yami. I've made it clear that there's nothing romantic at all between us, and I'll reiterate it. There's not. A lot of people are under the delusion that there is. I think that's kind of weird, and I know for a fact that I would be totally weirded out kissing someone that looked almost just like me. Kind of narcissistic, you know? Not that I don't think my yami is good looking, but his physical attractiveness is something I appraise the way I appraise my own, objectively and not emotionally attached. Anyway, I met my yami when I was nine years old. My mother and sister had both just died in a horrific car wreck, and my dad was not dealing with the loss well, to say nothing for me. My father was gone for weeks, months even, at a time. While he was gone, he was totally immersed in his work, and when he was home, he was either drowning himself in booze or sleeping, so I began a very lonely childhood. The fact that I was small and had never had to care for myself before led to some problems, the most imminent being that my father rarely left enough food in the cabinets, and though he often left money, he was always gone longer than he'd originally planned, so the money never lasted long enough. I was nine and had no food and no way of getting food. I was ashamed to go to a charity and ask for it, and I was scared that if I did they might take me away from my father, and even though he was never home, I couldn't bear that. My clothes were always in a state of neglect, for the washing machine and the dryer were a mystery wrapped in an enigma to me, and I was still working on unwrapping the enigma. So thought I was able to keep myself groomed acceptably, I could not figure out a sufficient way to keep my clothes from smelling. I tried washing them in the kitchen sink, which led to some rather undesirable results… I was also thin as a rail, and my bone clearly showed through my skin. The only time I ate was at school, where my lunches were paid for in advance. I remember being truly scared of what summer vacation would mean. My total focus was on food, because food meant survival. I began to horde canned foods, rather than eating them. I knew that I wouldn't starve as long as school was in, I got one meal a day plus whatever my teacher, who seemed to guess what was going on, gave me. So, I horded what I could from the supplies I bought with the little money Dad gave me, all non-perishable items, things that would last. It didn't matter what it was, so long as I could eat it. Summer vacation came, and I ate as little as I possibly could without looking like a skeleton. About midway though, my father came home for not even a whole hour. I wasn't expecting him, the house was a mess, I was a mess, and I was hungry. I was also depressed and angry.

" The house is a mess, Ryou." He said suddenly. I leapt up from the couch where I had been watching TV.

" Dad, you're home, I didn't…" I tried to explain, but my voice trailed off as he drifted through the living room, obviously not listening.

" The maid's not doing her job… I'll call the agency for sure this time…" he muttered.

" We don't have a maid, Dad." I said. He didn't seem to hear me.

" I can't stay for long. But I brought you something, Ryou. I saw it and thought it was perfect for you." He paused and fished a package from the bag that hung from his shoulder. The look on his face was heartbreaking. So unbearably sad and hopeful. He handed me the package and I forced myself to smile. I hated him, but I understood his pain. I hated that he could lose himself so much that he could forget that he had a son who was practically starving. But I loved that he still thought of me sometimes, though not at the right times, and that he still wanted to make me happy, though in the wrong ways. It made me so mad, but I at least understood. And even then, I knew that understanding comes first, and forgiveness comes later. Dad left soon after, seeming to have forgotten all about me. I knew he would drink himself into a stupor on his plane and then lose himself in his work. I took my gift up to my room, where I slowly unwrapped it. And so begins history, kiddos. Honestly, my first thought of the Millennium Ring was whether or not I could sell it and buy food. I took it into my hands and wondered how my father could have thought it was perfect for me. It seemed so big. Kind of awkward. Nonetheless, I put it around my neck and changed the course of my life and destiny forever.

The spirit who took my surname as his own name came into my life like fire and brimstone. He angrily interrogated me about where we were and when we were, then rampaged over the house, and although I knew I should have been afraid, I couldn't quite make the connection between him and fear. I sensed that he meant me no harm. Now, I should explain that I was a very intellectual kid. I knew a lot for my age. I began to try to compartmentalize what was happening to me. I decided that my loneliness and frustration had driven me to create an "imaginary friend" who was meaner and tougher than me, and would also give me some companionship. And then the person I would come to know as my yami sat me down and told me how it came to be that he was with me, as he best knew his own history at the time. He didn't know much, and I still didn't think he was real. A few weeks went by, and I was running out of food. As much as I analyzed that I had created my yami and he was a figure of my imagination, I didn't want him to leave. He was angry and violent and scary, but with him, I wasn't alone. So I didn't sell the Ring. He had said he came from it, so I kept it. One day, he found me in the kitchen regarding my meager rations.

" Where's the food?" he asked.

" Do you eat?" I asked in return, regarding him curiously.

" You're a strange kid. You'd think you'd be scared shitless of me. But you just act like I'm some curiosity. And yes, I do eat." He said in response.

" You're no older than me." I muttered. He snorted.

" Try a couple millenniums older. Anyway, where's the food?"

" This is it." I said. If he was stuck with me, he might as well be aware of my predicament.

" What? That? No way!" he said, shoving past me to stare hard at the cans. I wondered if his knew what cans were, and that they held food. " Kid, that ain't much." He said, looking back at me with a scrutinizing expression. " You sure are skinny. Too skinny. I thought you said you had a father."

" I do." I said, looking down.

" Where the hell is he?" the other me asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

" He's… working." I said, ashamed that I was admitting this. I really felt like I shouldn't tell, like I was disobeying or dishonoring my father.

" He's not here? He went off on some… what? Dig? To dig shit up? While he son stays here alone and starves? What kind of man…?" I wondered how he knew all that. I hadn't told him. Could he really read my mind, like he claimed? " Alright, now you listen up, kid. Look at me. I said look! Thank you. Alright, I don't like you. Not right now. You're a sniveling little brat with no spine right now. And you're not going to change for a while yet. But I happen to know what you can become with my help. I happen to have been able to meet the man you'll become someday. He's a pretty good guy, or will be, I guess. I'm going to like him a lot, just like I always have. Now listen good. It's not your fault." I was suddenly aware I was crying. " You can't blame yourself for anything. You're just a kid, for gods' sake. You can't blame yourself that your dad doesn't know how to handle his grief, and you sure as hell can't blame yourself for what happened to your mom and your sister. You don't deserve to live like this. You don't deserve to starve. I wouldn't treat a dog like this. Now, you've had some pretty bad shit happen here, and grief is natural. It's a part of life. This ain't natural, kid. You're made of tougher stuff than even you realize, and you're going to get through this, and we'll make a man out of you yet. Now you sit tight, and think about it, okay?" With that, he turned and left.

He returned several hours later with his arms full of groceries that he later admitted to having stolen. That night, I had a hot meal for the first time in a long time. We had steak, and it was the most delicious, albeit unseasoned, thing I'd ever eaten. The other me told me loud and funny stories about the times he'd met me before, in my past lives, and about the adventures we had. I liked him. I liked him a lot. He became my friend.

Back in the present, I blinked and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. I had to learn to accept my yami, with all his quirks and flaws, as my own, as he so effortlessly seemed to accept me. But I loved him for who he was. I fell asleep later, and slept a long, peaceful sleep.

Morning came, and I woke up easily enough. I went downstairs and made breakfast, smiling to myself as I did. Another day in my own peaceful paradise. After Battle City and whatever you would call what happened after that (the whole thing with the yamis' memories), life toned down a lot. Things went back to normal, or as normal as they ever got. Yugi may have been bored, but I was content. My yami staggered into the kitchen and flopped into a chair at the table.

" Good morning, Yami." I said. He grunted.

" What's for breakfast?" he asked.

" Eggs and bacon." I told him.

" Mmm… Good ol' eggs and bacon." Came his pleased response.

" Remember how when we first met, you had to steal food for us?" I asked suddenly. My yami's eyes darkened a little. He'd never been able to forgive my father for that.

" Yeah." He said simply.

" When will I be that man that you talked about?" I asked him, and he laughed suddenly.

" Oi, you still remember that? You were just a kid!" he said, smiling warmly at me.

" Sure I still remember." I said.

" You are that man, Ryou. You have been for a while. Well, not quite, but you never have been exactly the same twice. But the most basic parts of you are there." Yami said quietly.

" What parts?" I asked.

" Level. Calm. Kind. Generous. Right-handed. Perfect vision. Laugh like a child. Innocent look. Not-so-innocent temper. Intelligent. Perceptive. White hair. Birth mark on your right shoulder blade." He listed. " Little stuff. You don't always have the same colored eyes. Yugi always had the same color eyes, but not you. I always liked brown best, though. Let's see… You always like to cook, except once, but you were a brat that time… You're always out of Europe, and all but twice from England. You always sleep on your right side. You always like animals, and you're always into the occult, which almost got you burned at the stake a couple of times. And you always…" he suddenly stopped.

" What? I always what?" I asked. Yami just smiled.

" I'll tell you when you're ready to know." He told me. I frowned.

" I hate it when you do that." I growled at him.

" Ah, go call someone who cares, Aibou." He told me in response. I slammed his plate in front of him. " Ooh! Food!" he said, grabbing a fork (yes, we do use western silverware in my house, usually) and began to chow down. I smiled in pride as he yelped in pain and his eyes watered. " Hot!"

" Watch out, it's still hot." I said. He glared at me and opened his mouth to say something, but just then the doorbell rang. " I'll get it." I volunteered quickly, darting out of the kitchen. The kitchen is right near the foyer, so I didn't have to go far to get to the door. I pulled it open quickly and smiled brightly. " Hello, how may I-" my smile faded into shock as I saw who our visitors were.

" Hey, Ryou! Long time no see!" Malik Ishtar announced, Isis to his left and his wild-looking yami leaning on his right shoulder.

I had a feeling my day was not going to go as I had expected it to.