Downfall
By: Rogue Fox
A/N: Okay. I give. No reviews. :sigh: This makes me really sad. The only reason I'm still posting this is because of the really nice reviewers who were so nice to review and let me know what they think. Desidera, redconvoy, and the anonymous reviewer, thank you all very, very much. If you reviewed and I didn't mention you, I'm sorry, I just switched internet providers so my e-mail's a little weird. So, here's the next chapter. It's entirely in Malik's POV and this time the song is "Forever" by Vertical Horizon. Last time, the song was "Banana Pancakes," by Jack Johnson, I forget if I mentioned that. I am not promoting these artists, I'm only using the lyrics to set the mood. Think of it like how they play music in the background of a show or a movie to set the mood. I don't own YGO or anything like that, all I own is a bunch of CDs and some manga and… (counts) $2.82 and a whole bunch of textbooks. So there. I'm so sad about the review thing… By the way, I'm at 226 hits from 131 last chapter. Wow. I'm happy about that, but sad that no one likes it enough to review it. Maybe I should stop writing this one…
:Malik:
I don't know why I left the house that day. I guess I just needed to get away for a few hours or something. Everything seemed being moving slowly, agonizingly slowly, and everything I saw or smelled or heard reminded me of the painful, steady ache in my heart. I knew Ryou was doing everything he could to ease my pain, and my yami was carefully manipulating my dreams to give me deep, pleasant escapes. Bakura was the only one who didn't know anything, and that was the way I wanted to keep it.
The light turned green and I moved forward because the mass of people around me did, and I was just carried along by their momentum. No one gave me a second glance. I was just another teenager with tan skin and bright blonde hair and weird choice in clothes. Probably going through a phase. I stared at the sidewalk and kept walking. I wasn't sure where I was or where I was going, but I figured I would know when I got there.
As much as I wanted to smile everything away, to laugh and forget my pain, I could never make it disappear. It always came back, hurting just as badly as ever. I stopped walking and looked at the sky.
" Mother…" I whispered. Is this what you wanted for me? Are you proud of the son you died to bear now? Or are you ashamed? Perhaps… Perhaps I am ashamed of myself. Perhaps that was why I knew I would never be able to tell Bakura how I felt.
" Have your fortune told, sir?" a woman called to me. I turned and looked at her, long and hard. She was young and wearing a plain black dress.
" From you?" I asked, a little displeased. She was too young to know anything about fortune-telling, she was younger than me! And she had nothing with her. Her brown hair bobbed as she shook her head.
" No, my grandmother tells the fortunes. I just get the customers." She explained. I smiled at her then, the warmest smile I could muster, which still felt cold and awkward to me. She blushed though, and I hadn't meant to do that.
" Alright." I said, following her into a small shop. True enough, a elderly woman sat at a small table. The young girl I'd followed in gestured for me to sit, and I did.
" Would you like some tea?" the girl asked.
" He'll prefer coffee, the Arabic blend, Ayame." The old woman said before I could answer. " You are not Japanese." She said to me, then turned back to the girl. " No cream with two cubes sugar cubes… Am I right?"
" Yes, actually. Impressive." I said, making myself as comfortable as I could kneeling like that.
" You don't have to sit like that. I realize you're much more accustomed to sitting cross-legged." The fortune-teller said. I nodded my thanks and re-adjusted.
" It's rather obvious I'm not Japanese, but knowing my drink was a good touch." I commented her.
" It's not as obvious as you might think, what with hair dyes and tanning beds." The fortune-teller responded conversationally. " And your accent is almost imperceptible. Seven languages, right? Quite the linguist. A little less Mandarin in your accent, and you'll have it just right."
" Seven, that's right. I don't speak Mandarin though." I noted.
" No, but you do speak Chinese, which is Mandarin in root." Came the old woman's response. I grinned. " Still have doubts?"
" No." I answered. " I'm convinced."
" You have a great deal of experience in the occult, so it's not surprising that you were wary to begin with. These days, there are a great number of con artists." The old woman said. " And you know a few yourself, one of which is probably the greatest thief of all time." I stiffened a little. " Oh, don't worry, no names here. No names of any kind. Or ages. Or lives… Am I right, god of the sun?" the woman grinned at me. I smiled back.
" Good." I said.
" It's a good, strong name you've got. It gives you a great deal of spontaneity and joy, but also many cares." The woman continued. " But, you already know yourself and your past well enough, that will not be our focus. Today, there is someone who wishes you hear a message. It is one you have never known, and yet you have received the greatest gift from this person and this person has been with you all your life."
" Who?" I asked warily.
" One for whom you have a great longing and a great many questions. Not the least of which you asked only moments ago. 'Is this what you wanted for me?' Sound familiar?" the woman chuckled. I felt my eyes get wide. " Your mother died birthing you, and she has no regrets. You need not fear, your mother passed gracefully into the afterlife and has been well received. But she worries for you. So great was her want for a son that she birthed a desperate soul, one who would do anything to be born again. The two of you shared a common, desperate goal. She's missed you, Malik, and you her. Your mother has a great pride in her son. You did what none before you had the strength to do. You broke the chains of tradition and chased a new life. You bore a great burden and helped to bring about a new world order, and for that, your mother is prideful to a flaw of her son, her daughter, and the other you. The other you is the son she did not bear, but she loves him all the same.
" You must understand, Malik, that this pain in your heart is normal. People ache sometimes, that's the way it is. Your mother senses your shame, and wishes to remind you that your 'shame,' as you call it, is your mark as a son of the Tomb Keepers, a mark as the son she died to bear. It's a proud lineage you hail from, and a proud name you call your own. Your mother knows you are the last, and the name and the blood and the traditions will all die with you. You may pass on the story, but the line of Ishtar dies with you. And still your mother does not regret your birth. And still, she is proud of you.
" You have a great ache in you. You have cared for someone that has not returned your feelings. Instead, this person has unknowingly broken your heart by loving another. Your mother wishes you to know that love unspoken is love wasted, and that others are hurting while you are hurting. There is one that is meant for you alone, one that your soul has always found completion with. It is not the other you, but rather, some else that is close to you. If it is so difficult for you to speak with this person your heart aches for that you cannot tell them of your feelings, then it is not your one love with the one person that is meant for you. You are an open and carefree soul by nature, Malik, and you naturally find your way to one who you are free and open with, one with whom you know no inhibitions. This ache in your heart will pass and you will learn to bear your heritage with pride. These are only passing things. But this one person meant for you is aching as well, Malik, and you are not alone in your suffering. Your mother bids you to be mindful of your words and actions. Cautious steps are called for now. Tread carefully and speak softly, gently. There is one who is meant for you alone, and that one will need you soon. You must be ready.
" That ends our session, Malik. Your mothers wishes you well and gives you much love, and asks you to give your sister and the other you her greetings and love." The old woman said suddenly and I rocked backwards, soaking up her words. At some point, coffee in one of those plastic cups had been set before me.
" How… How much do I…?" I asked helplessly, at a loss for words.
" This time is free. It isn't often I meet someone one with such an interesting past and such a vast array of futures ahead of him." The woman said. " But the coffee is three hundred thirty-five yen." I laughed and handed the granddaughter some bills, and left after she gave me my change. I walked outside and looked up at the sky.
" Well. Thanks, Mother." I muttered, knowing now that she was listening.
Take these roses off of me
Let me live let me be
Let my eyes
See everything and nothing in their time
I do not mind
I found my way back home feeling better than when I left. The aching had subsided, and when I saw Bakura sprawled on the couch with my yami, both of them comfortably tangled together, I didn't flinch. I didn't feel my stomach flip or my chest tighten. I felt nothing but a deep, happy warmth. A pleased feeling. As though… I was happy he was there, but nothing more. Even if I would never have that relationship with him, I still cared about him. And suddenly, not having that relationship with him, him being with someone else, and me being alone… all that didn't seem so bad. Maybe it was the assurance that there was someone else that was just for me in the world.
Who'd have guessed I'd ever learn
To let the walls around me burn
And light up the hillside
My words
I ate them for so long and nothing changed
It was just the same
And I don't know if you see me here
But I can tell you your face is clear
I will see you
Forever, forever
And I will see you
Forever, forever
" Hello, hikari." Bakura called.
" Welcome home, Aibou. Have a nice walk?" my yami asked. I remembered when he was cold and mean. I hated him then. I walled myself inside a little corner of my own mind and hid from him. Now… Now he was kind and gentle and loving. I loved him now.
" Yes, I did. Thank you." I said happily. He looked over the couch at me suddenly, staring at me, scrutinizing me. Then, he looked pleased.
" Good. I'm glad. I'm really glad." He said, smiling at me. I smiled back.
" Me too." I said. Bakura looked at me as well, and no heat rose to my cheeks. I was glad of that. I didn't want to cling to something that wasn't there, and I felt that the message from my mother had only helped me to let go of something that I was only clinging to.
" Did I miss something?" Bakura asked.
" A whole drama production." My yami answered, and I smiled a little wider. Bakura grunted and muttered something to himself about psychotic Egyptians.
Call me close once again
Call me teacher call me friend
Just like the first time
Call my name
It echoes in the walls around this room
It's all you
And I don't know if you hear me there
But when it's darkest and no one cares
I will hear you
Forever, forever
And I will hear you
Forever, Forever
I turned and walked to the stairs, noting the general cleanliness of the house and assuming it to be Ryou's work. I paused to look at the pictures on the wall by the stairs. There was an old one of a man and a woman who I assumed to be Ryou's parents on their wedding day. Then there was what looked a lot like a baby Ryou, followed by another baby with darker features. Then the two children together, older. I assumed the little girl was Ryou's baby sister, Amane. There was a family photograph in which Ryou looked no older than ten. And then… There were no more family pictures. There was, instead, a newer picture of Yugi and his friends with Ryou, all grinning in a wooded place. That must be Duelist Kingdom, I decided. And then there was a picture of all of us, all the duelists, right after Battle City, yamis and all. There was a lot of sloppy, adrenaline high grins and both Ryou and Bakura were sporting bloody bandages. Bakura looked a little high and Ryou looked kind of out of it. I was standing right next to Ryou, between him and my yami, my arm around Ryou's shoulders and a big grin on my face. The picture made me smile. There were other pictures, random snaps of Bakura and my yami wrestling and Ryou cooking, looking in shock over his shoulder. I'd taken that one, and framed it too. I was surprised Ryou hadn't taken it down. There was Yami and Yugi grinning at the camera, and another one of Jounouchi and Honda and Kaiba all working on a car while Mai, Anzu, and Isis all laid on the roof, watching the guys in mild interest. I laughed a little. There was Isis and me and Marik, all of us looking overly happy. And then there was one of Ryou and Bakura, Ryou in the foreground with Bakura behind him, chin on the top of Ryou's head and arms looped over Ryou's chest. I liked Ryou's pictures. They made me feel really happy.
And I wanted you to be
Everything to me
And now I've got to learn to carry on
And I know I cannot hide
This emptiness inside
But nothing is the same since you've gone
I trailed my fingers over Ryou's mother's face. I wondered… what did my mother look like?
" Malik!" someone suddenly called. I looked up and saw Ryou coming down the stairs, smiling at me. " I didn't realize you were back. I'm just about to fix lunch, you want some?"
I didn't understand why, but suddenly, everything felt totally perfect to me. Ryou coming toward me, smiling at me, the feeling that my mother was near me, loving me, the knowledge my yami and sister and friends were all near and happy… It all just felt so perfect. And suddenly, I wanted Ryou to be near me, too. Right next to me. I wanted him to be right beside me, so I could share this happiness with him.
Send me letters from above
Send me strength
Send me love
Such sweet love
Sing me songs
That echo in my head and in my heart
That's where you are
" Yeah." I said, smiling softly at Ryou. " That'd be great."
" You okay?" Ryou asked softly, pausing at the last step as I stepped up to it. I smiled up into his eyes and resisted the urge to reach up and brush that soft hair from his eyes and stroke that pale cheek.
" Yeah. I'm great." I said quietly. " Really." I added, watching Ryou's concerned eyes. Those dark eyes melted into a warm brown with his smile.
" Good. I'm really glad." He said. And I was too.
And I don't know if you feel me here
But I can tell you one thing is clear
I will feel you
Forever, forever
I will feel you
Forever, forever
And I will hear you
Forever, forever,
And I will see you
Forever, forever…
Take these roses off of me
Let me live, let me be
- I actually went and checked this. Three hundred thirty-five yen is roughly three dollars, which is a pretty expensive cup of coffee, so I hope it was good coffee. But a fortune teller's shop seemed like the kind of place that would overcharge for the coffee, so…