Disclaimer brought to you by...Inuyasha from, well, Inuyasha!
GMHY: "Sooo...does FFVII belong to me?"
Inuyasha: "No, and it ain't ever gonna' be yours, so quit dreamin'!"
GMHY: "But maybe, someday, when I buy out Microsoft..."
Inuyasha: "You're just hopeless and pathetic!"
GMHY: "Well you have terrible grammar!"
Inuyasha: "Shuddup."
GMHY: ;; "Okay."
Optional Characters
By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie
Chapter 2: "Really Huge Materia"
Yuffie opened her eyes, getting them adjusted to the surrounding darkness. She curled up inside her bedroll and peered around. Even though the inn was really expensive, she had bought a room and took a bath because she stank like a chubby blue chocobo. Infiltrating from the inside was also part of her ingenious plan.
She slipped out of the covers and went to the door. She heard nothing outside.
Yuffie reviewed her plan in her head. The huge materia were kept in Bugenhagen's old house at the very top of the canyon. She knew the way there because she had wandered around during the day. She even saw the presentation about the planet's life energy, which was really boring. Yuffie would have slept through it, but the huge materia floating around the Planet were very interesting.
Basically, she had realized that Cosmo Canyon didn't have any freaking defenses at all. The weapons dealer didn't sell good weapons, only cheap knock-offs. Even the AVALANCHE member, Red XIII wasn't there. They said he was out on patrol or something. This was very good for Yuffie. All she had to do was sneak her way in there, grab the materia, and run off before she got caught. If not, she would get away somehow. She always did.
She walked confidently into the hallway, knowing that nothing was more suspicious than someone who was sneaking. Sneaking was only useful if there was a good chance of not getting noticed in the first place. In this instance, however, it was better to get noticed, and then forgotten quickly.
The teenager said a quick prayer to Leviathan as she made her way. She felt a mad impulse to giggle but stomped on it.
No one saw the teenage ninja turtle, I mean, teenage ninja Yuffie as she walked through town and climbed the ladders on her way to the huge materia. She picked the lock on Bugenhagen's house and slipped inside. Yuffie paused for a breath to make sure the house was empty before she padded silently through the halls, hunting like an awkward, skinny cat.
She came to the small circular room that housed the presentation and the huge materia. Yuffie hooked the switch and the platform moved up to the correct level.
The ninja clapped her hands and danced a little jig. The plan was easy, but with a town full of idiots guarding the most powerful materia in the world, it was a wonder that no one had stolen them before. That thought gave her pause and she squinted at the very large materia before her.
"Why hasn't anyone stolen you before, if it's this easy?"
Yuffie never talked to herself. She only talked to materia. So be quiet.
Anyways, she just shrugged and stuffed the huge materia in a sack, slinging it over her shoulder. Yuffie kicked the switch and jumped off the platform before it came to a stop on the floor again. She ran out of the house, remembering to lock it on the way. As she turned around, a voice spoke quietly behind her.
"Who are you and what were you doing in my grandfather's house?"
Shock and adrenalin ran through Yuffie's system and she turned toward the source of the voice, which she realized was a giant talking lion. The only light to see with was coming from a flame on the creature's tail, but she could tell that it was quite large enough to eat her.
Yuffie froze in place. "Uh, hello! Nice kitty!"
"I will ask you only once again. Who are you?" the words were formed so strangely on the feline lips that Yuffie's eyes went even wider.
She cursed at herself inwardly. Outwardly, she stuck a big grin on her face. People found it hard to attack grinning teenagers. She just hoped it would work on talking lion-people!
"Um, my name's Yuffie Kisaragi! Are you Red XIII? I've been waiting around for you to come back! I've always wanted to meet you! All the members of AVALANCHE are my heroes!"
Red XIII took a few steps toward Yuffie and growled, "You are lying! That door was locked and you have stolen the huge materia!"
Yuffie's face went from adoration to annoyance in a split second. "Yeah, and it wasn't even hard! You should put a freaking better lock on your door at least!"
Yuffie gripped the bag of huge materia and slung it at the giant cat just as he was leaping forward. Red XIII ducked the bag, but it had given Yuffie enough time to jump onto the roof of his house. She crouched there, reaching inside the bag of huge materia. It was the most powerful materia in the world; she figured she should use it if she was going to have any chance of defeating a member of AVALANCHE.
Red XIII immediately cast a spell. For a second, nothing happened and Yuffie was going to laugh at him, but then she looked up toward a sharp, thundering sound. Her eyes widened as three gargantuan comets came hurtling down at her. She managed to croak "Wall" and closed her eyes for the impact that would surely kill her. A giant barrier appeared between Yuffie and the doom comets and they smashed against it futilely.
Yuffie grinned and pulled out her shuriken. "That the best you got, kitty?"
She threw the large ninja star to distract him as she jumped off the roof toward the ladder.
The cat beast almost dodged it, but got clipped on his left forearm. He growled in exasperation and leaped, claws bared, at the ninja. She stopped short when she got to the ladder. Red XIII was almost to her when she unleashed a powerful fire attack that engulfed the feline and almost caught his house on fire. The young ninja peered into the flames, but couldn't see Red XIII anywhere.
Suddenly, she felt a tearing pain slice into her left arm. Red XIII tore through the fabric of her armored sleeve and scored a long gash into her arm. The ninja stepped back in shock, feeling blood soak her hand.
"I do not want to kill a human. Give the materia back!" the feline growled loudly.
Yuffie smiled suddenly. "No way, kitty!"
At that moment the shuriken came whizzing back to Yuffie, heading toward Red XIII.
The giant lion dodged it and Yuffie caught it with her injured hand.
"See you later!" Yuffie flipped into the hole with the ladder and landed at the bottom unscathed.
She ran very fast, jumping from platform to platform, not bothering with the stairs. The whole town had been awoken by the Comet spell and people were milling around in confusion. Yuffie heard Red XIII shouting behind her. Suddenly, she was in the center of town and looking up at the very angry warrior protecting the gate.
"Out of the way, fatty!" she cried. The big man swung his large sword down on top of her head, but she scuttled out of the way and hit him in the face with the bag of huge materia. While he was recovering, she broke into a run, whistling for her chocobo as she went.
Chubs broke away from his tether and ran to his mistress. She mounted him and kicked him hard in the withers. Yuffie reached into the bag of materia tricks once more and grabbed one at random, the green one. She turned in the saddle and yelled, "Sleepel!"
The spell took effect and the people behind her slumped to the ground, sleeping.
Satisfied, Yuffie urged the chocobo to go faster.
Yuffie felt a cold shiver and looked behind once again. She saw Red XIII in the distance casting another spell and gasped when the specter of death came shooting after her. He eased alongside the girl and her chocobo, grinning scull and black tatters blending into the surrounding darkness.
Yuffie froze in panic as the specter slowly lifted his scythe and cut down into her.
She felt the life drain out of her and slumped forward onto Chubs. The specter vanished, the spell complete.
Her eyes closed.
The smell of death and rotting wood welcomed him back into the waking world.
For once, the strange man began the conversation.
Did you have a good nap?
No. Your dreams are infinitesimally boring.
A pause.
I wonder why I must endure this tedious fate.
The strange man did not answer. Chaos gripped the strange man's gray matter with ethereal claws and squeezed.
The strange man's body jerked spasmodically. The nerves along his legs screamed in protest.
I could make you move out of this coffin. I think I shall.
The strange man opened his eyes. "No."
Chaos began to scream in frustration as the strange man cut off the demon's access to his neurons. The lesser demons that Hojo trapped inside the strange man's scull clamored for attention, scraping his brain tissue. The strange man's body shook once again, but more and more imperceptibly as he locked the demons in their mental cages.
Chaos, never far away from him no matter how he tried to isolate himself, whispered to the strange man like a snake. Everyone you knew is dead. You are as lifeless as those in the grave.
There was never any doubt of that, he whispered back.
The nightmares reached out and took him again.
Red XIII looked around at his defeated warriors sleeping on the ground. The girl had escaped with the huge materia, but he had hoped she would be stopped by the death spell. He shook his head morosely, his mane shaking out. This was more serious than he would like.
The protector of Cosmo Canyon woke his companions up and organized armed search parties. Then, he reluctantly called the rest of AVALANCHE on the PHS. It was his duty to inform Cloud about what had conspired, although he didn't want to admit it had happened on his watch.
When Yuffie came back to consciousness, she was lying on the ground on her back. It was still night. She saw pointy peaks of a mountain range to her left and the big fat face of her Chubs right next to her right eye. Yuffie weakly unclenched her bloody left hand from her shuriken and her right from the bag of materia she still held.
She lifted her arm to pat Chubs on the beak. "It's alright, Chubby."
The teenager knew it probably wasn't alright. She could barely control her left arm; it was in so much pain.
Yuffie quickly healed herself with the materia in her shuriken. She cursed that her magic was so used up that she could only afford a cure spell. The pain receded, but still throbbed as if it were only a quarter healed.
She stood up and leaned against the warking blue chocobo. "Where the heck are we?"
As if in answer, Chubs looked toward a town that was nestled between the mountains in the distance.
"Nibelheim?"
Yuffie looked back at her chocobo in adoration. "Oh, I really love you, Chubby. You're so smart!"
The blue warked as she climbed onto his back once again. As they entered the village, the sun was just coming up in the east, painting that part of the sky orange and pink. The town was completely silent save for a whining dog by the well in the center of the town.
Yuffie knew that the warriors from Cosmo Canyon would be looking for her, so they couldn't stay at the hotel unless they wanted to leave a clear trail to follow. She decided that they would stay in the town undercover until she could get better, then they would hire a boat and head back to Wutai. She remembered that Nibelheim was almost completely devoid of people, so there was a good chance that no one would notice her arrival so early in the morning. Still, she led them around the town and told Chubs to be as quiet as he could.
A huge mansion stood at the edge of town, almost falling down in its dilapidation.
The ninja thought it looked abandoned enough to suit her needs. She entered, still riding the chocobo and dismounted inside the mansion. She poured water on her bleeding arm and was starting to wrap it with her sleeve when she felt faint. Yuffie knelt on the wooden floor, gritting her teeth, but finally succumbed and fell back in an unconscious, awkward heap.
AN: I realize that I seem to be mixing up the huge materia with the master materia, and I am. I'm just changing it to be if you use the huge materia, you can use all the spells in the game. In the real game, you have to master all of the materia in a category in order to use the huge materia to make the master materia. So Yuffie shouldn't be able to use them like that. But it's not that bad of artistic license. I just don't want you to think I'm a poser and don't know my FFVII lore.