Disclaimer: By…Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke (Mononoke Hime):
GMHY: (whistles appreciatively) "You run fast."
Ashitaka: "I have been cursed on my arm by a rampaging boar god. I have come to Iron Town to prevent Lady Hiboshi from killing the forest spirit."
GMHY: "What does that have to do with running fast?"
Ashitaka: (shrug)
GMHY: "ANYways, do I look like I own FFVII to you?"
Ashitaka: "No."
GMHY: "Thanks! Anything else you'd like to say?"
Ashitaka: "Just don't try to behead the forest spirit. Or I'll chop your arms off."
GMHY: "Oh. Okay." (holds onto arms protectively)
Optional Characters
By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie
Chapter 4: "She's No Buffy"
There was a pregnant silence.
Then Yuffie began to yell.
"You stay the heck away from me!" She brandished her sharp shuriken dramatically. "I swear if you move a muscle I'll chop your head off!"
The strange man was slightly annoyed by the threat. He shifted slightly and blinked. When he spoke again, his voice was deeper and more forceful than before. "...I have nothing to say to strangers. Get out."
Yuffie stomped her foot. "I don't have to take this crap from anyone, even a vampire! I'm looking for the freaking treasure and I'm not leaving until I get it! If I have to fight you for it, then bring it on!"
The strange, cloaked man merely looked at her. It was difficult to read his expression because the flashlight was lighting him from behind, throwing his face into a kind of half-silhouette.
Yuffie became nervous, her right arm twitching with the familiar weight of the shuriken, longing to throw it. Giving in to her mounting exasperation, the ninja cried, "Say something, dangit!"
The man was silent.
Yuffie made a face. "You're full of crap!" She swung her right arm back to throw her shuriken.
The man moved before she did. Suddenly, the ninja was looking down the barrel of a very long rifle.
Her right arm paused just as she was about to let fly. They stood like that for a time, Yuffie hunched in an uncomfortable position in front of the nose of the gun, staring up at the swathed gunman with her right arm cramping up.
After a few painful minutes, the man spoke again, quietly and firmly, "This mansion is the beginning of your nightmare. Leave before it consumes you."
Never too cool when guns were pointed at her, Yuffie snapped, "Yeah right! I'm staying here whether you like it or not!"
The man was motionless. After a moment, he slowly lowered the gun. "Do what you will...but you must leave."
He stepped down gracefully and replaced the lid of the coffin, ignoring her completely. At a loss with the sudden lack of rifles aimed at her head, Yuffie awkwardly grabbed her flashlight as he lie down inside. Before he could shut it, the girl remembered her purpose and angrilywedged her shuriken in between the lid and the side. One of the sharp points quivered where it stuck an inch away from the strange man's face. He stared at the teenager expressionlessly.
"Wait a minute! Where the heck is the treasure?" Yuffie pointed the flashlight right in the strange man's eyes, but he didn't seem too bothered by it.
"...You're still here."
"Of course I am! You think I'd give up that easily?" she replied angrily. She frowned at him. There was no feeling in his face at all. The ninja felt nervous and cold suddenly. "What are you anyway? Are you really a vampire?"
The man closed his eyes, effectively shutting the girl out. Yuffie hated being ignored and was about to retort when he answered.
"...No."
"Then why the heck are you in here? How did you get in if the room was locked?"
Quietly, his voice came through pale lips, his eyes still closed, "I have been sleeping...for a long time. It has given me time to atone."
Yuffie went still like a bird. "What are you saying? Atone from what?"
The blood-red eyes opened and looked straight at her.
Yuffie was at a loss. "Who are you?"
Black lashes closed once again over his red eyes as he answered, the breath spilling out of him. "I was with... the ShinRa Manufacturing Department in Administrative Research, otherwise known as... the Turks... Vincent Valentine."
She blinked. She had actually half-expected him to say, "Oh, I was kidding. I am a vampire." "You're a Turk?"
"Formerly of the Turks. I have no affiliation with ShinRa now. ...And you?" Here his eyes opened once again, looking at her.
"I'm Yuffie Kisaragi, the great materia hunter!" Here she looked conspiratorially at the tired man, excited to tell her exploits to the first person who would listen. "I just stole the Huge Materia from AVALANCHE!" She made a thrusting motion with her hand. "Heh heh, it was so easy!"
Vincent blinked.
Yuffie scratched her short hair. "So I have to hide out here for a few days until they stop looking for me."
That garnered no response.
Yuffie tried to switch topics back to Vincent. "So if you were a Turk, the how did you end up sleeping in a coffin in the basement of the ShinRa Mansion?"
Wordlessly, Vincent closed the coffin with a sharp crack.
Yuffie knocked on it.
His voice was muffled. "...Let me sleep."
Yuffie knocked again.
He said nothing.
Shrugging, Yuffie stood up and stretched, feeling a little strange. It was not every day that you met such a freaking weirdo.
He's quick, though. That gun was up so fast I almost didn't see it. But that wasn't surprising. If the gloomy man had been in the Turks, then he would be an excellent shot. Yuffie shrugged.
The flashlight dimmed. Yuffie knew her flashlight well; she only had a minute before the flashlight would just give out. I knew I should've bought more batteries at Gongaga.
She ran down the hall and up the twirling staircase. Just as she was opening the secret doorway, the light died completely. Slowly, Yuffie shuffled through the pitch-dark mansion on her way to the anteroom where her fat chocobo was. Feeling sleepy, Yuffie poured more of the potion on herself and her chocobo before eating a few stale provisions, feeding her chocobo some Reagan greens, and finally going to sleep.
She lie on the hard floor thinking how weird her day had been. When she dreamt, she had her first nightmare since she was a little girl. As soon as she woke, gasping, the dream slipped through her mind like water, leaving a vague foreboding feeling behind.
In the two years since Meteor had fallen on Midgar, the world had changed. In the city, the few who survived the compound destructive forces of Holy, the lifestream, and Meteor were those who lived under the plate. There had been no survivors from the upper plate. All of the scientists, rich men, officials or soldiers of ShinRa in Midgar had been burned away.
Their government all but wiped off the face of the earth, the poor people of the slums had moved to other cities to fill up the slums there. Most of them migrated to Junon, where the atmosphere was ridiculously like the one they had 'enjoyed' under the plate at Midgar. Once under oppressive authority, the uneducated people found it difficult to change. Even though they always dreamed of life away from ShinRa, once away from it they had no food. So they migrated back into ShinRa's good graces at Junon.
ShinRa the company had survived the destruction, remarkably. No one was the head of the company. It was run by the cronies Heideggar, Scarlet and Palmer. The Turks still administrated "Administrative Research" to keep the people fearful and in line. The company was nowhere near as powerful as it had been with the great metropolis of Midgar. The company still held sway over all the cities of the world, but a relatively weak one.
In Junon, a man stood in the middle of a large paved street. He wore a black cloak and shook occasionally, as if a sudden wind would knock him over. The figure moved slowly and very carefully as if the effort were extremely precious.
Pausing, he lifted his gaze to the towering buildings and banners that still proclaimed ShinRa's might. Nodding spasmodically, he rocked to himself and let the press of people sweep him to an elevator leading to the town of Junon outside the city.
Using great concentration, the man managed to force his mako-poisoned body to respond and press the button to go down. Resting from his exertions as he lowered, the figure quaked with exhaustion. When the doors opened to the outside, he shuffled through it. The town was now a huge slum. Junon officials would only let a few of the poor refugees from Midgar into the city. People had to bribe their way in and the refugees had no money.
Seeing the dilapidation and poor people around him, the man in the black cloak hummed to himself sporadically; his arms twitched with excitement.
Then the spirit that had been controlling him left him and he lost all of his former purpose.
Collapsing against a wall, he spent the next few days nodding his head back and forth. The procedure so many years ago had taken away much of his brain activity.
No one bothered him, thinking he was another unfortunate. They passed him by on all sides and never looked at him. Quietly, he died and disappeared against the brown, dirty walls.
Cloud dismounted when he and Tifa reached the outskirts of Nibelheim. The town was quiet. It had always been quiet. Even in his childhood, the sound had seemed muted.
He glanced at Tifa. She had been his next-door neighbor so many years before. It was always strange for them to come back, ever since Sephiroth had burned the town to the ground and ShinRa had rebuilt it, populating the town with actors.
Nibelheim had always seemed fake, but now it seemed like a boil on the back of humanity. Like a quietly festering sore.
Cloud wondered if the wounds from this town would ever heal completely. This was where his mother and Tifa's father had been murdered. Where the horror seven years ago had taken place.
He shook his head. All of that was behind him. He had taken revenge, killed Hojo, Jenova and Sephiroth for the greater good of humanity and was no longer affected by what had happened at Nibelheim.
Tifa took his hand as they led their golden chocobos to the town inn. As they bought their room, Cloud suddenly wanted to hit the innkeeper as hard as he could.
"What do you do," he tensely asked the fat man, "when people return to see their family in Nibelheim? I mean, you can't keep family away. The fact that this town was burned down can't be kept a secret forever."
The man looked shocked and immediately sweat began to run down his corpulent face. His hands trembling, he handed the leader of AVALANCHE his key. "D-don't know what you mean, sir. Y-you s-should go to your room. You h-have some guests."
With that, the man retreated into the kitchen.
Tifa smiled at Cloud. "Thank you," she said simply.
Cloud grinned back, scratching his head. "It was nothing. I don't know what these stupid actors are trying to prove after all these years."
Tifa nodded and they brought their luggage upstairs.
Cid was standing at the window, smoking as he glared out of it. When he saw Cloud he turned, rubbing the side of his face.
"#. Cloud's here," he mumbled to the bedroom.
Red XIII padded out. "Cloud, Tifa! It's very good to see you."
"Yeah, it's # great." Cloud didn't know whether Cid was being sarcastic or not.
"Hey, Red. What's eating Cid?" Tifa put her luggage down on the floor.
Red XIII sobered. "I wish you two were here under better circumstances. Not only the mess with the ninja, but we just had an encounter with..." He trailed off indecisively.
Cid blew out a cloud of smoke. "We !# just saw a !# Sephiroth clone."
There was a stunned silence.
"You're kidding, though," Tifa gave a tentative smile.
Their grave faces gave her her answer.
"No way!" Cloud almost yelled. "You've got to be joking! What are you talking about?"
"Just what I !# said. One of those freaky guys that we saw two years ago. He was in Nibelheim," Cid said, looking tired.
Tifa shook her head. "When was this? What did he say?"
"It was this morning. I met Cid outside the village. As we were coming in, a man in a black cloak was standing right in the middle of town."
"And what in the heck made you think it was a Sephiroth clone?" Cloud demanded.
Cid pulled his cigarette out of his mouth to answer. "When we got close, the little retard said 'Reunion... Sephiroth... master...'" here Cid did a sarcastic parody of the clones' disembodied voices that they all remembered. "Yeah, I'm thinking it was a clone."
Cloud rubbed his chin. "What did you do with him?"
"Nothing. As soon as we realized what he was, he melted and died like the others did." Red XIII looked worriedly up at Cloud. "I don't know what to think about this, Cloud. Is it possible that after all we did Sephiroth could still be alive?"
Cloud shook his head, his expression dark. "I really hope not. I don't believe it."
Tifa sounded worried. "Do you think that the huge materia getting stolen and the clone is related somehow?"
Cid resolutely put his cigarette out. "!. Who knows? This is all just a bunch of #."
"Have you found the ninja yet?" asked Tifa.
"No, but we believe she's in this town somewhere," Red XIII said.
Cloud rubbed his hands together. "Alright, we'll go out looking for her as soon as we get unpacked."
Vincent couldn't sleep.
He'd never had a problem sleeping before. He always had nothing else to do. But it had been a while since he heard the girl run back up the stairs and he found that he couldn't go back to sleep.
Has something got you riled up? Chaos was smiling wickedly inside his brain.
...Shut up.
I know you're excited about your first contact with a girl in thirty years, but don't be nervous. I'm sure she'll like you. Chaos blatantly started cackling at him.
His right hand stole up to rub his eyes. He didn't bother to reply to the inane comment.
You were quite the gentlemen, too. Saying, "Go away" and pointing your gun at her like that.
Vincent was beginning to have a headache.
You were inspiring! And you still managed to get back in your coffin to hide like a scared little girl.
Vincent began to mentally subdue the demon, becoming heartily sick with the conversation.
Ah, struck a cord? Then, the demon's voice became dull, losing its mocking tone. You disgust me.
You're not exactly admirable, yourself.
Just as Vincent carefully placed the last mental block between himself and the demon, Chaos bellowed, You're pathetic! I swear, if I ever become separated from you I will flay you alive and eat you!
When Chaos had yelled the last threat it had sent helpful visuals aids to illustrate exactly how it would carry it out.
Vincent would have almost smiled at the picture of being marinated, but shuddered instead, knowing full well that the demon hadn't meant it as a joke.
The demon silent for once, Vincent finally managed to fall asleep.
"Well this is just fan-freaking-tastic."
Yuffie was worried. She was pressed against the dingy, huge windows looking out into the small town.
AVALANCHE had found her.
There was no mistaking the two people that had ridden in on, get this, golden chocobos. If Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockheart had wanted to go incognito, they had failed miserably. Their faces had been plastered on all the badly circulated magazines of post-Meteor. Almost everyone in the world would know them on sight. Their story had been dramatic. They had instantly become heroes of the tired and uncaring world.
Well, she would just have to hide or run. Fighting them was not a real possibility. Even the egocentric Yuffie couldn't imagine winning an all-out fight against AVALANCHE, even with the help of the huge materia.
She couldn't risk going outside because they would definitely see her leaving and catch her on their faster chocobos, so the only thing she could think of was to clean up and hide out in the basement of the mansion. AVALANCHE wouldn't search thoroughly enough to find the secret doorway.
If it led to a fight, she would try to make it short and run away as soon as she could. If she escaped on Chubs then they could cross the shallow ocean to Wutai, where they would be safe.
AVALANCHE wouldn't be able to find her on her home turf.
Having made her decision, Yuffie hid the fact that she'd been staying there for the past few days as well as she could. She cleaned up the chocobo droppings and feathers, rolled up her sleeping bag and packed everything up.
Yuffie rolled her eyes at the huge splintery mess that had been a doorway before Lost Number had destroyed it, and the burn marks on the walls. She would just hope that Cloud Strife would think a monster did it.
The ninja took every good master materia she owned and put them in the slots in her shuriken. The huge materia wouldn't fit because they were, well, too huge. She put them in a bag and tied it around he neck.
Finally prepared, Yuffie checked out the window one last time. When she saw Cloud and Tifa come out of the inn, she tensed up, but when she saw Cid Highwind and Red XIII follow them, she cursed to herself. There were more members of AVALANCHE than she had figured on. Fighting would be really hard, if it came to that.
It never occurred to Yuffie to give the huge materia back. As soon as they had made their way into her hands, she had considered them hers and never felt any remorse. In her mind, when she thought of any materia she had stolen, it was in a group labeled, "Mine, and also for Wutai," so she always thought she was justified because she was 'helping her country.'
After packing, she took out a spare piece of cloth and tied Chub's beak together so he wouldn't make any noise. She led the slightly disgruntled Chubs to the secret entrance and opened it. It was just as dark as it had been the night before. The ninja got out her spare flashlight and, closing the door behind her, the girl and her overweight chocobo made their way to the ground floor.
They paused there and waited for twenty minutes. Then Yuffie heard faint voices.
"Ah, #. She's not down there."
"She might be. We should check everywhere, Cid."
A woman's voice. "Yes, and I think we should see if Hojo left any notes about the clones coming back, too. I mean, if anyone knew about it, then..."
The voice became more muffled as Yuffie grabbed Chubs' reins and ran down the hall to Vincent's room.
The game was almost up. She heard the door open upstairs and footsteps coming down the spiral staircase.
The teenager tore the door open and shut it behind her and started to bang irreverently on the ornate coffin.
"Hey! Hey! I need your help! Wake up!"
There was no response. Yuffie cocked her head. The group hadn't gotten to the hallway yet.
She shoved the lid of the coffin off with a muffled crash and pointed the light at Vincent's shut eyes.
"Wake up!"
His eyes opened. "...What?"
"You've got to help me! You wouldn't want me to die, would you?" Yuffie looked at him pleadingly.
He just stared at her, one eyebrow raised.
"Well, that was a stupid question. Uhh..." she trailed off; the footsteps grew louder. Terrified, Yuffie began to talk very fast in a long run-on sentence. "Look, there's these people who are going to kill me if they find me you've got to not let them kill me you're a Turk so you can help me fight them I don't want to die I'm only eighteen that's too young to die this sucks this sucks this sucks-"
Vincent was about to say something when the footfalls sounded right outside the door. Yuffie clapped a hand over his mouth and her own to silence them both, feeling hysterical, like she was about to scream. Even her breathing sounded too loud.
The footsteps paused outside the doorway.
When they spoke, their voices were too close for comfort.
"I thought I heard something..."
AN: In that first scene, 95 percent of what Vincent says comes from the game script. I only had to make up 10-15 words for him to say! Heh heh! I mean, why work when someone else did it for you, right? Anyway, I gave you a nice fat and exciting chapter, so you should review. Cause you're nice like that. You don't have to unless you want to, of course. And I know you're dying to know what the heck Vincent's going to say about all this. Poor chap. So you should read on!