Jobs that the people from Lord of the Rings would most certainly hate

(This idea came from one of my best friends, so this is my thankful shout out to her for the rockin' idea…HI KELLY!)

(Still speaking in totally phony British accent) Welcome back to day 2 of our disturbing footage of Lord of the Rings characters in bad situations. If you are all still alive please prepare yourselves to witness Haldir at a Job he would certainly hate.

OooO

'Galadriel has a horrible sense of humor' though Haldir as he sat in the mall all dressed up in a big fat Santa suit that was about 10 sizes to large for him

It was before opening time and Haldir sat on the butt ugly Santa throne thinking about how he came to be here.

For not remembering to alphabetize her collection of fancy assorted dishtowels Galadriel had secretly gotten her revenge by signing Haldir up to be the mall's Santa. When he had gotten the call on Saturday morning to come in for the job Haldir had laughed loudly into the phone, rudely declined, and hung up.

"Stupid Galadriel." Haldir mumbled

He figured she was the only one who could have set something up like that. Unless it was Elrond…Haldir refused to remember those horrible memories from that evil summer day a few years involving Elrond, Legolas, Aragorn, a paintbrush and a giant pair of underwear.

Haldir shuddered at the thought, grabbed his cloak and went in search of Galadriel. He was almost to Galadriel's shiny mirror place when he heard a strange sound coming from the bushes. At first Haldir thought it was rabid, evil teenaged girls in black SUVs come to kidnap him but then he realized that it something else. A group of girls would have been louder…

"Hello?" Haldir called peering into the bush

There was a gurgling noise and then short creatures dressed in red and green with tiny bells on their shoes jumped out. There must have been about 60 of them.

"You must come with us now great leader!" They said and danced around him

Haldir's expression matched this: -.O?

"Who are you people?" he asked

"We are your loyal servants oh lord Santa!" they said and bowed to him

"Okaaay…I think you have me conf-wait! Did you say Santa?"

They nodded.

"No! I'm not Santa! Go away! Galadriel should not have-

But the ugly little Santa elves teamed together and knocked Haldir over. Then they sprayed some weird substance that smelled suspiciously like gingerbread and Haldir passed out.

Once the Santa elves knew that Haldir wasn't going to give them any more trouble they lifted him off to the mall with help from teenaged girl in black SUVs.

When Haldir woke up he was forced to put on the cursed red and white suit (complete with fake beard) under pain of death by Christmas caroling. Haldir had no idea how that would happen but decided it was better to do what they said.

So he put on the suit that was obviously designed for an obese person, and walked out to the scary Santa throne. He sat down and watched as the scary Santa elves filed out of two doors and stood around him, guarding him. They made sure that he wouldn't try to escape and held sharpened candy canes, incase he did try something.

The mall was opening in a few minuets and soon there would be a flood of little kids all coming in, standing in line for hours all waiting to sit on his lap and beg for toys. Oh yes, Haldir knew the horrible tales of this 'Santa Claus'. There was a particularly disturbing story he remembered from a while ago that involved an evil Santa, Frodo, a chalkboard and evil plots.

Suddenly there was a loud blaring noise like an air raid siren. Haldir looked around wildly.

"What is it? What's going on?" He asked

"The children come." the creepy Santa elves said all at the same time in a flat sounding voice

"Wha-

But then he heard it, the loud high-pitched chatter of thousands of little children running towards him at unthinkable speed with their parents puffing behind them trying to catch up. All the kids formed a sad excuse for a line in front of him. All the separated Haldir from the evil little beings was a small red velvet rope.

An old lady appeared from the back. She looked like a cheesy Christmas time sitcom Grandma all dressed up for Christmas. She had a cookie tray full to the ceiling with different shaped cookies and a nametag that read 'Mrs. Claus'.

"Who wants to see Santa?" She exclaimed and started passing out cookies

"WE DO! WE DO! WE DO!" All the children screamed as the jumped up and down

"Okay! You're first little girl!" Mrs. Claus yelled

She picked up the little girl and set her down on Haldir's lap. The little girl sat there and stared at him for a while before she started shrieking loudly and hugged him.

"HI SANTA! I wanna pony, a castle, a fluffy puppy, a princess crown, pink nail polish, a unicorn, a pretty dress and a pink car!"

Haldir looked disturbed, "But I don't have-

One of the Santa elves jabbed him with candy cane.

He winced, "Um, okay then little girl."

The little girl crossed her arms and pouted, "You are suppose to laugh merrily!"

"What?"

"Santa is suppose to laugh!" she insisted

"No! I'm not laughing! Go away!"

The Santa elves poked him again. The little girl rolled her eyes and ran off to complain to her mommy and daddy that Santa was a mean bad man.

The next little kid happened to be a little boy with a bad cold. The second he was placed on Haldir's lap he started coughing. Then he turned and sneezed right in Haldir's face blowing germs all over him.

"Hey Santa!" The little kid said, "I want a fire truck and I want my cold to go away!"

He sneezed again showering Haldir with more germs.

"EW! Get it away!" Haldir yelled as the kid was taken of his lap and another one was there right away

"I WANT A CHOCOLATE BAR! I LIKE CHOCOLATE! GIMME CHOCOLATE! AHHHAHA!" Screamed a chocolate loving five year old as loud as she possibility could

"Start 'em of young on the chocolate, that's what I always say!" Said the kids mom, "Tell Santa what you want for Christmas!"

"I DID! I WANT CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!"

By this time Haldir was severely disturbed. How much longer did he have to be here? The rush of little kids seemed never ending! They just kept coming like a tidal wave of moldy hair dryers! It was a nightmare that no one should ever have to experience. Haldir least of all!

'Elves should never be subjected to such evil!' he thought

Suddenly he thought that he saw Galadriel walking through the crowds of angry middle-aged women fighting each other viciously for those last minuet charismas sales. Haldir jumped out of the Santa throne and ran over to her.

He grabbed by the hair and started yelling at her about the evils of being a mall store Santa. 'Galadriel' turned around. It was in that moment that Haldir realized 'Galadriel' was a five hundred-pond biker with a beard.

How he could have made that mistake the world may never know. The biker dude freaked out at being touched by a mall store Santa. He gave a war cry and attacked Haldir, throwing him backwards into the fountain.

"Freak!" the biker yelled and the blew a raspberry at him

Haldir laid in the fountain and stared up at the ceiling.

Galadriel would pay!

"Come on Santa! You are needed great leader!" said on of the freaky elves

OooO

Haha, dont ask. Just review please! Ah you can ask if you want i suppose!