A.N. Sorry, this chapter and all of the rest of my notes for this story, which included the final chapter, got accidentally erased, so that's why it's so late. I was so heartbroken! I had a Yuffentine ending that was IC, dang it! Now I'll have to write it all over! ;;

Optional Characters

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

Chapter 7: "Chaos Thinks Yuffie Tastes Yummy"

Cloud was awakened by a loud, obnoxious noise. Fumbling around the bed with his eyes closed, he managed to find the source, but not before an annoyed Tifa punched him for disrupting her sleep.

It was a moment before his addled brain understood what it was. He held the ringing PHS to his ear.

"What?" he asked peevishly.

Reeve was on the other end. "Cloud? I have an emergency situation!"

Cloud was suddenly awake. "What kind of emergency?" he barked.

Tifa came awake at that exclamation, sitting up and staring at him with a worried look on her face. "Cloud, what...?"

Cloud waved his hand at her to be patient and concentrated on what Reeve was saying.

"You know that Weapon we found under the ocean? Well, it's attacking Junon right now! We're holding it off as long as possible, but I don't know if we can actually defeat it! I know that Cait Sith would be destroyed if I had it fight that thing alone!"

"When...when did this start?" Cloud rubbed his eyes, desperately willing himself to think clearly.

"A few hours ago. It doesn't seem to like our firepower very much, but I don't think that that will keep it away indefinitely. If we still had the Sister Ray, then maybe we could do something, but...that's impossible now. There's something else, too. I don't know much about it, but Barret called me from Corel and said that Ruby Weapon's doing the same thing to the Gold Saucer. I'm all out of ideas here, Cloud."

"Well..." Cloud shook his head in bewilderment. "We're going to go over there as soon as we can. I guess we're going to pass the Gold Saucer on the way over there. We don't have the Highwind, so it might take some time. You just do everything you can."

Reeve sounded dubious. "Alright, Cloud. You're the boss. I think the ShinRa are holding out on me in the weapons department. I'll go ask Scarlet. !#&#, it's coming around for another pass!"

The line went dead. Cloud addressed the other people in the room, who had all woken up and were looking at him inquiringly. "We've got a problem. Emerald Weapon is attacking Junon Harbor. It started a few hours ago, and our pal Cait can't hold off for much longer."

Tifa was shoving articles in her suitcase. "What are we waiting for?" She glared at Cid, who was still sleeping and shook him by the shoulder. "Wake up and pack! Cid, get up! We have to leave!"

Red XIII, who really didn't need to pack that much, sounded contemplative. "First the Clones came back...then the underwater Weapon is attacking. Something truly strange is happening."

"We'll think about that later," Cloud said shortly.

Cid cursed. "Well, this is just #&!#, isn't it? First, we have to chase after that stupid ninja kid, and now we #&!# have to go traipsing around the #&#&! Planet?"

Tifa zipped her suitcase closed. "And here I thought this would be a vacation."

Vincent listened quietly to what the heroes were saying in the other room. After a few minutes, he stood up and looked down at the ninja. Yuffie was squinting her eyes in her sleep to prevent the morning sun from penetrating. Vincent stepped behind her chair and slashed through the rope tying her to it.

"Wake up."

Without opening her eyes, Yuffie began to rub her wrists and make a piteous moaning sound. "That's the second time you've woken me up today!" She squinted up at him and groaned. "I mean, heck, once a day is enough. You just gotta take everything too far, don't you?"

Vincent didn't play along. "We're going to Rocket Town. The group will most likely leave in a few minutes. I suggest you prepare."

Yuffie jumped up as he scooped her chair out from under her. "Hey! Wait...wait! Why Rocket Town?"

The red-cloaked man set her chair against a wall and turned back to her. "The Highwind is there."

"The Highwind?" she asked, confused.

He turned and set his own chair against the wall. "The airship."

Her face was blank.

"From the story last night."

Her mouth opened in an "Ohh" look as she finally got it. Ignoring her, Vincent stepped into the other room, closing the door behind him. "I heard from the hallway," he said curtly to Cloud. "Which of us are going to go with you?"

Cloud thought a moment. "There's a problem with transportation. Only Tifa and I have gold chocobos. Cid has a black one, right?"

Cid nodded. "She's an ugly beast, too."

"There's the blue chocobo," Vincent said evasively.

Cloud continued, "That leaves the ninja without a chocobo, since Red doesn't need one. So, Tifa and I will ride over to Junon because we can go the fastest and will get there in time. The rest of you will go to Rocket Town and call me when you get there."

Cid sighed heavily and stood up. "Let's get a move on, then. Looks like another #&!&# adventure."

Tifa finished stuffing clothes and items in the suitcases and threw one to Cloud. Red XIII stood up and waited at the door for Cid to open it.

There was a dumb silence.

"Where's the ninja?" Cloud asked.

The frayed rope Vincent had cut was lying limply on the floor. There was no sign of Yuffie.

"I..." Vincent was surprised, then slightly angry. "I told her to stay here."

Tifa went to the window. "She stole your chocobo," she said, pointing to the small, Yuffie-ish blue blob racing out of the town.

The former Turk shook his head slightly in disbelief. He couldn't help but feel slightly betrayed. He had confided in the girl with the trust of a comrade, and she had immediately betrayed it. Vincent couldn't help but feel a strange polar kinship with her. After all, she had been the one to wake him from his slumber, to ask for his help, to give him a reason to rise from his coffin. It had seemed to be a natural inclination for him to help her.

You are so easy to manipulate, Chaos actually sounded surprised. She even told you she was a ninja and a thief, and you still trusted her. Do you do that with every woman you meet?

Pointedly ignoring Chaos, he turned to the others. "I apologize. I should have guarded her more closely."

"You let her get away!" Cloud exclaimed, exasperated.

Vincent narrowed his eyes at his tone. "I gave you an apology. What more would you ask of me?"

Cid's face was blank. "You let her go. Now you gotta go after her."

Vincent was silent, hoping to dear heaven that the pilot was joking.

Seeing his face, Cid grinned. "No joke. If you want to help us, then that's your job."

The former Turk's expression settled into something akin to scorn. "There is no reason to follow her. She returned the Huge Materia, and I assure you that she is no spy."

Tifa suddenly looked startled, as if she remembered something. She dropped her suitcase, unzipping it and rummaging through it until she found the bag that Yuffie had given her. She loosened the drawstring slowly and stared inside for a long moment.

"What's wrong, Tifa?" Cloud asked worriedly.

Her face fell. "I'm sorry, Cloud." And then she handed him the bag.

"Rocks." Cloud expelled an angry breath, then looked up at Vincent. "Cid's right. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to follow her, Vincent. We really have to get moving. Right now."

Vincent nodded slowly. It had been his fault entirely. He supposed some recompense was in order.

"You can take my chocobo," Cid said cheerfully. "She's a brute. I named her the Ugly Beast, if that tells you anything."

"That's hardly...complimentary, chief," Vincent said, disapprovingly.

Cid shrugged. "You'd better #&! hurry, or that ninja'll make it to Wutai."

Vincent nodded again. "Where is your chocobo?"

"In the stables. She's the only black."

As he hastened down the stairs, Cloud threw something at him, which he deftly caught in his clawed hand. "A PHS. Call us when you find her. We may need help with the WEAPONs."

Vincent turned without answer or farewell. He ran to the stable, saw a flash of black and threw the stall door open. The Ugly Beast stared back at him, slightly distressed, an enormous specimen of a bird with bright green eyes that seemed to pierce through him. Vincent grabbed her reins and led her out. She went willingly enough, and Vincent had time to vaguely surmise that it had probably been the airship captain with the problem, and not the bird. He quickly led her outside and mounted bareback, tucking his boots under her wings and holding the reins with his clawed hand. He rested his human hand at the base of her neck to sooth her and convince her not to try to buck him off.

She didn't, so he urged her to go into an instant run, the likes of which only a bred, colored chocobo would have been able to manage. The town vanished in a peal of light, colors shifting around him at a hundred kilometers an hour. Leaning forward, he balanced himself like a jockey, holding the reins high on her head, pulling them slightly for necessary stomach-lurching changes of direction. The sun shot out from in between the spiky mountains, making him flinch; he still was not used to such bright light. Long shadows moved over them, the Nibel mountain range was passing swiftly to their right.

So, she is in league with Hojo and Sephiroth, Chaos surmised. She took the materia.

I don't think that she is, Vincent replied, at length. I think something else is driving her actions.

I would love to eat her, said Chaos suddenly.

What? Vincent was horrified, mostly because Chaos had sent him mental pictures.

I can always tell if my food is lying or not. Chaos' tone was bland. I think I will eat her.

That's...disgusting, Vincent replied, hisexpression stony.

And when I do, Chaos continued, I will be generous and allow you to take control for a moment, so you can feel the texture of her young flesh and the taste of her sweet blood. I believe you would enjoy it. There is nothing like consuming a sentient creature.

Vincent shuddered, the images swimming in his brain the product of the demon's unashamed, Freudian cravings.

How do you know some of those thoughts are not yours alone, human? Chaos whispered sibilantly.

And then he saw her. The ninja was paused at the edge of the sea, looking ahead of her, deep in thought.

Foolish girl. She should not have stopped. I think we should eat her as punishment.

Will you be quiet for once? Vincent snapped.

Then she heard him, and she twisted around in the saddle with a fearful expression on her young face.

"Stop!" Vincent shouted, drawing his Quicksilver, still moving at full speed.

The ninja's chocobo warked as she kicked him hard in the sides, still looking back at Vincent. The blue broke into a run, skimming over the water like a skipped stone.

And for some reason, the Ugly Beast stopped dead in her tracks at the edge of the sea.

"Stop!" he cried again, firing off a warning shot.

Surprisingly, the ninja obeyed. Slowly, they trotted back until she was ten feet away from Vincent, and they floated there on the water, waiting for him to speak.

"You still have the materia," he told her.

Her eyes widened, and then she glowered at him. "Is that all? I thought something bad happened, the way you were yelling."

He stared at her incredulously. "Something 'bad' did happen. The WEAPONs are attacking the Golden Saucer and Junon Harbor as we speak. You have to return the Huge materia, and quickly."

She laughed skeptically. "What do you think I am, retarded? I'm not going to give back the materia for a lie like that!" Without another word, she quickly turned and raced back across the blue divide, not looking back.

Cursing, Vincent pressed with his feet. Reluctantly, the black started off across the water, obviously nervous about it.

Faster... Vincent thought. At least the black is faster...

He gained on them by feet, water expelled behind in a great fountain to keep the birds in traction. Vincent pulled alongside her left side just as they hit the beach, and pulled out his gun, sighting at her across the Ugly Beast's withers.

He pulled the trigger, deliberately making the bullet fire right in front of her face.

Yuffie jerked backward, making the blue kick up sand and stumble, hard. The girl almost fell, but she held on with dogged persistence. When they were balanced, still going a hundred kilometers per hour, Yuffie gripped her shuriken and grimly threw it at Vincent with all her might.

It was too close for him to dodge. Eyes widening, the ex-Turk slid down the right side of the Ugly Beast, balancing heavily with his left leg slung across and his clawed hand gripping too tightly around the chocobo's neck, his face near the rushing ground and pounding, clawed feet.

He felt the shuriken graze his back, cutting at his cloak but going no deeper. His gun almost fell from its awkward perch across the chocobo's shifting withers, but he caught it before it hit the ground.

The black warked at the awkward position and leaned deeply to the left to balance his shift in weight, having to slow down. The green shot ahead as he reseated himself, grimly leaning forward to catch up.

And then, as he was looking at the ninja again through the sights of the Quicksilver, moving so quickly the rocks were blurring past, an enormous something whooshed to his side. He flinched, turning to look at it. He looked up...and up...

It was an enormous blue WEAPON, a monster larger than anything Vincent had ever seen before. It was flying next to him, very closely and gracefully. His chocobo was shaking, and running as fast as she could, scared out of her mind.

The WEAPON deliberately opened its enormous maw and roared until Vincent's ears started to pitch, and then it struck him with one clawed hand, lazily flinging him from the black chocobo and into the side of a rocky cliff.

Before he passed out, he thought he heard the ninja scream...

A.N. XDXD I've finally got someone to do battle while racing chocobos! Always wanted to do that! W007!

I'm sorry, so terribly sorry that I gave into the "giving Vincent a black chocobo" trend. I originally gave him a green, because they're pretty, but when it came to it, he wouldn't be able to follow her across to Wutai or even catch up to her on a green, and I wasn't able to think of anything else. But, in honor of the fallen green, I gave the black creepy green eyes, so whatever. It's a necessary evil, and I apologize profusely. Plus, I guess red clashes with green anyway. XDXD

Okay, so the following people get candy for guessing my pairing: Aeolus the Soul Hunter, MariQ, Viper Girls, StormScarred, KDeo, Ishkie, Tomodachigai, NeonRaine, and RayZor. All you guys get a candy bar or something. keonali, you get like half a snickers for trying. You guys are such good sports, I'm proud of you!