Author's note: Thanks to SilverWeaver and Maudgonne for the betas, even when they are both busy and stressed from work. They make this story so much better.
When he got back to the jail, Ryan was sorted out with the other prisoners whose bail had been posted. He was put in a little room where he changed back into his regular clothes, and then he signed for his personal effects. Then a guard escorted him to the door to the lobby, where he knew Sandy would be waiting for him on the other side.
He hesitated before pushing through the door. It was hard enough having to see Sandy as his lawyer. Now he was his guardian and family, and it would eventually mean having to see Seth and Kirsten.
When Sandy saw Ryan walk out of the doors, he was relieved to see him in street clothes again. It took the urgency away. It wasn't that Sandy didn't understand the urgency was still there, or didn't realize there was a lot of work to do before they met with the DA, but to have Ryan out of jail lifted a huge worry.
He put his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Ready to go home?"
In the car, the silence was palpable. Sandy kept glancing over at Ryan, who was resolutely staring out the window, drumming his fingers on his leg. Finally Sandy tried to break the tension. "Ryan…"
"Can we not – right now?"
Sandy could hear the pleading in his voice, but if they didn't do this now, it might never be done. "Ryan…"
"I'm just – really tired. I told you everything you wanted to hear as my lawyer. I just don't know if I have the energy right now."
"You know what? We're all tired. No one got a whole lot of sleep last night. And Kirsten and Seth are going to be waiting for you when you get home. You can't shut us out."
"That's not what I'm doing."
"Ryan, I can see the walls going up already. We're family. We're here to help you."
"How? I can't even process that fact that someone is dead because of me. How can you? How can they?"
"Because we have to. Because we love you."
Ryan leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "It's all just such a mess."
Sandy couldn't really argue with that. "A mess we're going to fix."
Kirsten was in the kitchen when she heard the car doors slam outside. She entered the living room in time to see Seth come bounding down the stairs as Ryan and Sandy walked into the house.
"It's about time you guys got back." Seth pulled Ryan into a hug, and Kirsten noticed Ryan wince from the embrace. "What the hell happened?"
Ryan backed away from Seth, running his hand through his hair. He glanced over at Sandy, then back over at Seth, avoiding looking at Kirsten. "I don't know, really."
Kirsten tried to keep her hug gentle. "How're you doing, sweetie?"
"I've been better." Ryan gave her a half smile, finally bringing his eyes to meet hers, raising his eyebrows.
"Are you hungry? Tired? Do you want read some comics? Play some PlayStation?" Seth looked at him expectantly. She saw Sandy smiling at Seth's ability to overlook the obvious and try to get back to normal.
"I think I just want to go to the pool house first."
Sandy looked at him disapprovingly. "Ryan…"
"I want to have a hot shower, Sandy. I want to change my clothes. Is that okay?"
"That's fine, Ryan. It'll be supper soon though, so come in when you're done."
Ryan gave Sandy a curt nod before heading to his room.
Kirsten looked at Sandy. "What was that?"
"Yeah, Dad. The guy just got out of jail and you're acting like a warden."
"Seth! I'm not… I'm just trying to keep him connected. We've got to make sure he doesn't pull away."
"Is he going to prison, Dad?" Seth's eyes looked as scared as Kirsten felt and they both needed Sandy to explain everything that happened.
"I don't know, Seth. I'm going to do my best to prevent it, but it depends on the DA."
"Did he really kill someone?"
"The guy he was fighting with died as a result of the fight, yes." He looked at his wife and son. "Let's sit down, and I'll tell you what I know."
Ryan walked into the pool house and looked around. He couldn't believe how much his life had changed since he had last been here, in less than twenty-four hours.
He ran his hand along the bar as he walked to the bathroom. As he shed his clothes, he dropped them straight into the trash. He never wanted to wear them again, even if Rosa could get the bloodstains out. Then he marveled at the fact that he could so easily throw away clothes without a thought and wondered when that had happened.
He stood in front of the bathroom mirror, fully examining his injuries for the first time. He brought his fingers to his cheek, wincing as he touched the tender scab. The guy must have been wearing a ring, to leave such a gash.
His hands moved to the bruises around his neck. He placed his thumbs on the thumb-shaped bruises, and shivered as he remembered the feeling of not being able to breathe. He wondered if the guy would've stopped, if he hadn't kicked him away. After he passed out? Not till he died?
He skimmed his fingers over the bruises on his torso. Blue, deep purple, black. Ugly, angry bruises.
He turned the water on in the shower, as hot as he could stand it. There was a possibility he wouldn't be having leisurely, hot showers in the future and he wanted to savor each one.
When he got out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked into the main room to get some fresh clothes. He was greeted by Seth, sitting in one of the wicker chairs. "Holy bruises, Ryan."
Ryan quickly grabbed a shirt from his shelves and pulled it over his head. Seth walked over to where Ryan was standing. "There's actual handprints on your neck." He reached his hand out as if to touch them, but Ryan swatted his hand away.
"I know. What are you doing out here?"
"Well, Mom's worried that you didn't get any lunch, where the arraignment was at noon, Dad's worried you won't come in for supper, and I'm just worried."
"There's no point worrying." Ryan turned and walked back into the bathroom with his pants. When he came back out, Seth was still there. At least when he got to prison, he'd be used to having no privacy or time to himself. It'd be just like living with the Cohens. Maybe if he told himself that enough, he might believe it.
"Come inside. Dad's gone for take-out, so you have to come in soon anyway."
Ryan didn't bother arguing. He just followed Seth into the house.
They were well into their videogame by the time Sandy arrived home with supper. Kirsten appeared then, for the first time since Ryan came inside with Seth. They sat down at the table, passing the containers back and forth, filling their plates. There was an uncomfortable silence, as no one knew exactly what to say. Everyday things seemed too inconsequential to talk about, but the events of the night before seemed too big.
Not able to handle the silence any longer, Seth's mouth took over. "So, Ryan, it's too bad you missed Galactic Crush last night."
Ryan looked up from his plate.
"Seth." Kirsten's tone implied that he should stop his train of thought.
"I'm just saying, they were really good, what I heard. And we went for Ryan's birthday, and then he didn't get to hear them. I mean, I think that sucks."
"Yeah, 'cause that's what sucks about last night, that I missed seeing the band." Ryan was glaring at Seth, and could feel the heat rising in his neck and on the tips of his ears. "A guy is dead and I'm probably going to prison, but the tragedy is that I didn't hear some music."
"I didn't mean…" Seth started.
"Ryan."
He could hear Kirsten asking him to calm down, to give Seth the benefit of the doubt, but he wasn't feeling that gracious yet. He picked up his napkin and threw it on the table. "I can't do this right now. I can't pretend everything is normal." He pushed his chair back and went to the pool house.
Kirsten knocked on the pool house door, but got no answer. "Ryan?"
"I don't really feel like talking, Kirsten."
She opened the door and walked in. Ryan was lying on his bed and turned over to see her.
"I brought you a sandwich."
"I'm not really hungry."
Kirsten set the plate on his bedside table and sat on the bed beside him. "What have you eaten today?"
Ryan shrugged.
"You've got to eat, Ryan. Raise your blood sugar a little – it'll make things seem not so bad."
"Things are so bad. How can you and Seth act like nothing happened?"
"It's not like nothing happened – but life can't stop either. You still have to eat and go to school – you're still a part of this family."
"School?" Ryan had forgotten about school. He had been focusing on how awful things were just seeing the Cohens. He forgot about facing the Newport masses.
"Besides the fact that not going isn't an option, it's also going to be important in your case. You can't start skipping now."
Ryan rolled over onto his back and threw his arm over his eyes. "This sucks in every way imaginable."
"Yes, it does." She squeezed his arm and then stood up. "So eat your sandwich and finish your homework."
Sandy dropped the boys off at school in the morning, with plans to return later in the day to talk to Dr Kim about getting copies of Ryan's school records, as back-up evidence.
Ryan was guarded; though no one knew what had happened, it was obvious just looking at him that something had happened. Luckily, his reputation for fighting was still around even though he hadn't been in a fistfight in months, and so everyone just assumed it was normal for him, and he was left alone for the most part.
Ten minutes into second period, the secretary broke into class, instructing Mr. Schmidt to send Ryan to the office, with his books. When he got there, he was sent straight in to Dr Kim's office, where she showed him to a wooden chair. Ryan knew from experience that the wooden chair meant he was in trouble.
"You were arrested this weekend?" Dr. Kim started right in, without any pleasantries.
"Yeah. Did Sandy talk to you? He said he was coming by…"
"No. He's on his way though. The police sent a copy of your arrest report."
Ryan simply nodded.
"You can wait here until he gets here." And with that, Dr. Kim got up and left her office. Ryan dropped his head to his hands, elbows resting on his knees. She seemed pretty upset, and he figured that could lead to no good. Things just seemed to be going from bad to worse, though the probability of going to prison was pretty much the worst.
He was in the office by himself for what seemed an eternity. The chair was none too comfortable, but he didn't want to chance getting up and walking around in case Dr. Kim came back and thought he was snooping around her office.
Sandy was surprised to find Ryan in Dr. Kim's office when he arrived. "You're not in class, Ryan?"
"No." Dr. Kim entered just behind him. "We can't have an accused murderer attending class at Harbor."
"I was under the impression that in this country, people were innocent until proven guilty. Ryan was charged, but not convicted. And hopefully won't be, once we meet with the DA tomorrow."
"Were you going to inform me of this?" Dr. Kim indicated the arrest report.
"I knew you'd be receiving a copy today," Sandy said. "And I had planned to stop by later."
"Well, I have no choice but to suspend Mr. Atwood, until the charges are dropped."
"You can't do that! He's a senior. He needs to maintain his grade point average to keep his scholarship in the fall. If you suspend him, he'll lose it."
"Unfortunately, that's not my concern, Mr. Cohen. My concern is the welfare of the children the parents of Newport put in my care. And there would be a lot of upset parents if they found out Mr. Atwood were still at the school. It's the only course of action available to me."
Sandy glanced over at Ryan, who was simply staring at the floor, not seeming to care one way or the other. It was such a change from the boy who fought with Dr Kim to be allowed in when he first started. "Can he at least keep up with his work from home, if Seth gets his assignments?"
"Normally a suspension doesn't allow for making up the work, but this is a different case, so I'll allow it. It will be up to the individual teachers to decide what they want to do about tests. If they feel he can't take them from home, he'll have to take a zero on them."
"It should only be for a couple of days, anyways."
"You don't know that, Sandy."
Sandy wasn't sure he heard Ryan speak, he'd said it so quietly. "No, I don't. You're right." He turned back to Dr Kim. "I'll need a copy of Ryan's records for the court."
"Of course. I'll get the secretary to run you off a copy before you leave."
Sandy stood up. "Come on, Ryan. I'll run you home. Thank you so much for your time, Dr Kim." Sandy couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice.
Kirsten and Sandy were cleaning up after supper. "I'm worried about Ryan, Sandy."
He handed her the plates from table. "He'll be able to keep up with his classes from home. He's a bright kid."
"That's not what I meant." She took the glasses from him and loaded them into the dishwasher. "He's barely speaking even when spoken to, he just pushed his food around his plate tonight, and he was by himself in the pool house all day."
"He's just having a hard time dealing with this. Tomorrow, we'll meet with the DA and get it all straightened out. Then he'll be back to school and things will get better."
"What if the DA doesn't agree?" Kirsten handed him a dishcloth to wipe the table off. "What if he only offers a shortened sentence?"
Sandy stopped mid-wipe and shook his head. "I can't take a deal that results in jail or prison for him. We'll take it to trial if we have to."
She wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know if he can handle a trial, Sandy."
"We've got to fight for him, Kirsten." He walked over and put his arms around her. "If he goes to jail, we'll probably lose him forever. He'll push us away. One year or twenty years won't make a difference."
TBC