Growing up... again
I don't own Ranma 1/2
"speech"
/thoughts/
-sounds-
(Author's notes or translations)
Flashback
Chapter 2: Fleeing/Weird"You two kids are just pulling my leg right?" asked Dr. Tofu not really believing Akane's story.
"We are NOT joking what's so big about this Au Byebye?" remarked Ranma.
"Don't tell me that you haven't heard about him?" asked the doctor. "You're lucky to be alive this man is the best international assassin! Everyone knows what he's doing but the police simply can't find anyone who would dare to say anything against if there issomeone crazy enoughthen he's as good as deadhim andAu Byebyedoesn't leave any clues he's a real pro, plus killing is his hobby."
"Don't tell me that one of those guys who were scammed by dad has put him on us. I don't believe it!"
"He also said something about Jusenkyo, did you meet him and anger him with something?" asked Akane.
"Not that I know but he was also talking about a mountain being blown up, and about the cursed springs." the boy came to a full stop. "YESSS! Maybe there is a way he probably fell into one of the springs."
"Ranma I don't want to disappoint you but with your luck the guy probably fell into the spring of the drowned T-rex or something like that." answered Akane.
"Yeah guess you're right. We better head home! Doc give me some cold water! I bet that that bastard is waiting for me in front of the dojo."
At the Tendo's a few minutes later"We're home!" called out Akane while pulling off her shoes, and moved to the main room followed by Ranma, the sight that greeted them was disastrous the fence bore a huge hole and the room was in complete disarray, in the middle of this Soun and panda Genma were lying on each other both unconscious but alive.
And it pretty much looked like that both gained quite a number of grey strains of hair the day. "Ok we're out of here!" remarked Ranma. "Get your clothes, and a sleeping bag!"
"What are you talking about Ranma? We can't just leave." snapped Akane.
"But we have to, and call me Ranko I don't want him to find out that I also have a curse if that happens were good as dead."
"Not until father wakes up!" snapped the girl.
"Is your brain too small or something? That guy wants us dead as in dead you know what that means!"
"I know what that mean's you jerk but why do I have to tag along?"
"Because you butted in on a fight between men again and now he also wants to kill you tomboy!"
"What did you call me you pervert?"
"I called you a tomboy you flat chested macho chick!" that did it Akane's brain switched over to kill Ranma mode and from there on there was no return Akane punched him into the face, once twice, then she grabbed the coffee table next to her but luckily the boy had enough self preservation will to avoid being hit by that, the girl swung her weapon a second time and got him in the side and once more Ranma took up in the air on a nice long trip into the koi pound at least now he was already in his girl form.
"Oh man what did I do this time?" mumbled the boy while the steaming girl moved off to her room to get packed for the coming days.
What she didn't know that a certain killer was having lunch at Ucchan's and heard her screaming, as for Ukyo, the girl was barely able to keep from shaking from fear among all the restaurants in Japan the man had to pick hers. Au Byebye stood up and started to walk towards the door throwing the money that he owed her on the counter. "Not bad girl not bad!" he remarked, the poor girl gave out a long sigh and fell to her knees thanking god that she's still alive.
"What are you doing Akane hurry up will ya with the racket you made I wouldn't wonder if that killer would be already on his way here." urged Ranma while adjusting the ungodly sized backpack on his back From the size of it Akane could guess that he was planning to spend a lot of time away from home and she wanted to have anything packed.
"What if I forget something?" she asked.
"Then we'll buy it I have some money... don't even think of telling it to Nabiki she would suck me dry."
"Very funny Ranma we're fleeing from some guy who wants to kill us and you think I'll sit down with my sister to speak about your money do you really think that I'm nuts?"
"Stop blabbing you wanna be girl and start packing you know I kinda hang on my life and if that guy finds us that comes to an end, and you won't be far behind!" Akane wanted to pummel Ranma but he knew that staying around is dangerous and for once kept her anger in line... barely.
Five minutes later two teenagers left the Tendo home with high speed, and just after the first corner they run into disaster. There wasa dog in the middle of the street, anda boy delivering ramen on a bike made a spectacular trick to avoid the canine, but after that he didn't have a chance to avoid Ranma. Thanks to the crash Ranma got splashed with the warm soup. The boy barely had enough time to give out a groan about his bad luck before he saw Au Byebye coming around the corner.
The two teenagers froze like two deers caught in the headlight. A small smile crept onto the killers face as he prepared for his attack. Ranma knew that he'll lose but he was determinet not to make it easy for this monster.
-slpash-
Au Byebye disappeared and in his place a small canary bird appeared sitting in a puddle of cold water with and old lady next to him washing the street with water. Ranma could barely keep himself on his legs from laughing. The dreaded killer the man whom was feared by everyone he fell into the spring of the drowned canary, but Akane remained silent somehow she knew that they are not out of the danger.
She was right the little bird flapped his wings a few times and it was up in the air, Au Byebye continued to flap his wings harder until he looked more like a humming-bird. Then he attacked Ranma's laugh got stuck in the boy's throat, he made it to avoid the attacking bird but barely, and when he turned around he saw a bird sized hole on the fence behind him, and this fence belonged to the Tendo dojo and consisted mostly of bricks and concrete and was at least ten inch thick.
Seconds later the bird came back through the fence again and Ranma 's jaw was on the ground it went through the fence TWICE. "Killer canary! Everyone run for your lives!" shouted the boy while grabbing Akane and starting to run. He hopped up onto roof level and proceeded to run like hell. The only little problem with his idea was that even a normal canary could have kept up with him, and this canary was everything but normal.
Au Byebye whooshed by the boy's head only missing him by centimetres; Ranma made a quick 180-degree turn and ran for it but only a few seconds later the killer was already by his side. /This isn't funny thought the boy If I don't have an idea soon that guy's gonna kill us big time/ he thought while desperately trying to find a way out.
Then he saw the solution in the form of an eternal lost black pig who was currently desperately trying to find Tokyo. /Wow I never thought that there are so many people speaking Japanese in India./ thought the part time pig while walking through the street. Seconds later he felt being lifted up in the air, and he immediately started cursing that he didn't fell into the spring of the drowned cow. Then he realized who the person was.
"Skwee? Kwee?" (Ranma? What the hell are you doing in India?)
"Listen up P-brain! You see that bird over there?" asked Ranma pointing at the killer next to him. Ryoga turned to it, but couldn't believe that his long time rival was fleeing from a little bird, then he saw as this innocent little bird went through a chimney the hard way he reconsidered. I'll throw you at it and you'll cover his eyes while I get away with Akane.
Squee?" (And why should I help you I bet this is the father of another fiancé?)
"And you better do well this guy wants to kill us both!" with that said the boy threw Ryoga at Au Byebye, the killer he wasn't distressed he knew that with his strength he can easily fly through the pig, luckily for Ryoga he wasn't a normal pig, and managed to avoid the deadly hit and get a hold on the bird and proceeded to block his view.
When Ranma saw this he gave more speed hoping to get lost before Au Byebye shakes Ryoga, firstthe birdtook up in the air hoping that the stupid ham is afraid of high places but that didn't get off, then he dived just like a dive-bomber. He was about to pull up again and shake Ryoga off when that ejected the sudden shock made the killer forget about his attempt and that crashed into the ground with high speed leaving behind a huge crater.
When he finally managed to get back to the surface Ranma,Akaneand the pig were long gone.
"Few... That was close remarked Akane Only then did she realize that he head somehow found a comfortable place on Ranma's chest. She immediately turned crimson, and puller herself up, using Ranma's neck for help. Then there was the problem that she was too close to his mouth for her own good, and Ranma's breath made it even harder for her to keep still.
However when they were out of the danger zone and Ranma slowed down she still didn't get out of his hands, until Ranma let got of her and she landed on her backside. "Thanks a lot Ranma you could have at least told me!"
"What is it Akane don't tell me that you like to be carried around like that?" Akane's reaction was completely normal Within seconds she had hermallet in her hand and an unconscious Ranma was laying on the ground next to her.
When the boy came to he found himself on Akane's back while the girl was marchingtowards north away from Tokyo, of course he panicked and fell down from her back and landed right on his head.
"Are you all right?" asked Akane from the dizzy boy.
"Yeah Akane I'm ok I had this totally crazy nightmare, some killer came to town to kill us and we barely got away..." just then Ranma noticed that he was in the middle of a forest.
"Urk!" was the last thing that came from his mouth that day because he went out cold again.
A week later somewhere in the middle of northern Honshu's forests"Here's dinner!" declared Ranma while holding up the rabbit he caught.
"Put it down on that log I already got the fire going!" replied Akane in a happy tone, you almost could suspect that the two are a normal couple on a camping trip but only almost. Several bumps on Ranma's head were signalling the times he crossed onto her side of the tent during the nights.
Most of them however were from this morning, last night was specifically cold and the two teenagers were forced to sleep close to keep each other warm. When Akane woke up in the morning she immediately used her bash first and ask questions later policy. The rest is history.
"I hope you don't plan to add anything from your chemist lab!" answered Ranma forgetting how much he hangs onto his life.
"What was that?"
"What's wrong with wanting to live a long life?"
"What did you say?" asked Akane with her face taking up the usual "Ranma you're dead expression". The boy slowly started to back away in hope to find an escape before it's too late, after Akane gave him a decent amount of pain she stormed off into the forest leaving behind a battered martial artist.
"Me and my big mouth!" muttered Ranma while trying to get up from the ground.
Minutes later Akane was still marching to nowhere there was a huge oak tree in her path it was blocking her way and this was dangerous when she was in such a mood, a cry of anger left her mouth as she punched the innocent plant with full force leaving the imprint of her fist in it's side. Unknown to her the local wanna be noble was on a hunting trip.
In the heat of the hunt his eyes suddenly caught the form of the woman who was "forced" into an "unwanted" marriage after that "mere commoner" defeated him in battle using "treacherous tricks". "Kanna my beloved you have finally managed to escape from that..."
Akane had to fight to keep her lunch where it belonged /Kuno! Of all the places he could have gone he had to pick this forest, but why the hell is he calling me Kanna/
"What the heck are you taking about Kuno? You probably know damn well that Ranma and I have a killer on our ass going home to Tokyo is that last thing that I would do right now!" she answered.
Her answer was a soft laugh followed by the usually rambling "What did that scoundrel Kotaro do to you that you don't even dare to say my name my sweetest Kanna..." at this point the rambling stopped mainly thanks to the fact that Akane was already mad when he started, and she finally decided to end it with a right hook. Seconds later his minions rushed to his side they grabbed him and started to run. "Lord Hieto will be soon back!" yelled one of them in the distance while running.
At the same time Ranma started to get up having recovered from Akane's beating. "I guess I overdid it a bit with the chem lab stuff. BUT SHE STILL OVERREACTED!"
"There you are my dearest husband!" interrupted a female voice. Ranma moved to the side to see what's going on /What the heck is it with this forest I thought were in the middle of nowhere/
Before he could do anything else he was in the female's hug, he saw Akane's smiling face but remembering the way she left he guessed she won't be back for another hour or so. To this came the strange attire she was wearing all this made him uneasy. The girl stood onto her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his mouth what made Ranma even more nervous. "What the heck are you talking of and what's with the strange clothes?" asked Ranma while looking or different means of escape. Akane was simply waaay too friendly.
"Don't tell me you still didn't get enough of me?" asked the girl. "I could barely stand up in the morning after what we did last night. You really should give your wife some time to recharge!" at this point Ranma's head was beat red, you could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.
"Ak... Kane Don't you think... Ack!" any further words were silenced when Ranma's skull came into contact with Akane's mallet.
"You pervert I leave the camp for five dammed minutes and I find you with another woman!" yelled anAkane who just arrived at the clearing.
"What the heck are you talking about? HE is MY husband!" yelled the girl who till now was holding Ranma in a tight hug and was trying to pickhim up from the ground.
"Really? Do you know how many women say that thanks to his father?" asked the newcomer Akane.
"What are you talking about he's mine!" yelled the first one.
"Forget it bitch he' smine!" yelled Akane 2grabbing Ranma's shirt and yanking him towards her. At this point the half conscious Ranma realized the fight between the two Akanes is starting to get dangerous for his health. He tried to retreat but it only made it worse for him when he girls turned to him.
"Ok Ranma start talking before my fists start working!" warned Akane 2.
"She's right Kotaru start talking!" warned Akane 1.
"Huh? Kotaru?" asked Akane 2. "Ok Ranma you're in for it!" something similar was Akane 1's reaction even if it was much less violent.
Minutes later a second male moved into the camp being loured there by the sounds of the year's biggest Ranma bashing. Both girls came to a dead stop when they saw him. "Kotaru?" asked Akane 1. She then looked at the other boy who was laying battered at her feet. The two looked so alike that she could hardly believe it. Suddenly the world became very dizzy to her, and then everything went black.
Minutes later
"Now this is really ridiculous," declared Akane "You guys look completely like we do. If I didn't knew better I would have said that that girl on your shoulder is me."
"The same here, I thought I'm seeing double when I saw you and my wife hitting that poor boy... what was his name again." asked the man walking next to her.
"It's Ranma!" Moaned the form who was laying on Akane's shoulder.
"You know Ranma it would be high time you got on your feet we didn't hit you that hard." she said.
"Did you ever try how it feels when two macho chicks use you as a punching bag?" his answer was a growl but for once Akane managed to keep her anger in line, she can hit him when they get to the village that the other boy was talking about.
"How far is your village?" asked the girl.
"Not that far don't worry." answered the boy leading her. When they entered the village Akane thought that she landed in a museum everything was like in a medieval village. To this came the fact that she saw someone she thought to know very well. "What! Happosai here?" she asked staring at the old man.
"What are you talking about?" that's the village monk he's a nice guy.
"This is spooky!" murmured the girl to herself.
"You can say that again!" remarked Ranma from her shoulder.
"If you feel good enough for commenting then you probably can also walk! So get off!" with that she threw Ranma onto the ground and continued her was, the boy fought himself on his feet but barely managed to stand on them the with one daring move he started to follow his fiancé.
The other boy who looked completely like Ranma entered one of the houses with his wife still resting on his shoulder the other two followed. When they entered the house their jaws fell to the ground. "This is not spooky..." started Akane not able to finish her sentence.
"This is plain weird!" finished Ranma for her. Sitting on front of them was a man who looked just like Soun Tendo next to him a perfect Kasumi imitation and the two that led them here looked completely like they did with the only exception that they were not engaged but married, and everyone was in medieval attire.
(The idea to this chapter came from one of the anime episodes except forAu Byebye'scanary curse)