Author's note: First off, apologies for taking so long - a number of factors conspired against me. I don't think I've ever gone this long between chapters before. For this chapter, I need to thank Brandywine421 for helping to jumpstart me in the middle - brainstorming is a fabulous thing; thank you to Fredsmith518 for an awesome beta job; and to Maudgonne for making me make this better - seriously, folks, you wouldn't have wanted to read the first draft. Overall, thanks tostorymom for her awesome legal advice and general encouragement; to Silverweaver for her great insight; and to Maudgonne who started it all with an innocent little question - though I've learned since that none of maudgonne's questions are innocent. And thanks to everyone who stuck with me and read along. I really appreciate all your comments.

Ryan sat at the defense table and watched the jury file in. He studied their faces, trying to determine which way they might have decided. One of the women glanced his way and smiled at him, but he couldn't tell if it was a sympathetic smile, indicating she was sorry for the way things were going to go, or a happy smile, indicating she was happy for him.

Then the judge ordered him to stand, and Barry and Sandy stood beside him, and the judge asked the jury for their decision. The foreman stood up and read from his piece of paper. "In the case of the State of California versus Ryan Atwood, for the charge of Manslaughter in the Second Degree, we find the defendant…" He paused and Ryan sucked in his breath. "…guilty."

Ryan went numb with disbelief. He didn't know why he was so surprised. The Atwood luck would dictate this ending. He felt Sandy put his arm around him, and heard Barry whisper that they'd get started on the appeal as soon as they could. After the judge thanked the jury for their time, Barry asked for a continuance on his bail until the sentencing hearing.

Ryan woke up early the next morning. Not so much woke up as gave up trying to sleep. It was a dreadful feeling, knowing he only had a few more nights of freedom before he had to go to prison. Both other times he was arrested on the spot and had no time to think about what was going to happen. He thought he'd rather have just gone straight to prison after the verdict. Not that he wanted to spend more time in prison than he had to, but this limbo he was in right now was a different kind of punishment.

He looked around the pool house, at all his things that cluttered it up. He couldn't believe how much stuff he had amassed in his time with the Cohens. He thought they wouldn't want it laying around for the next three to five years, and headed to the garage to get some boxes to put it away.

As he came back through the den, he found Seth in the kitchen. He mumbled a greeting without stopping, hoping Seth would get the message to leave him alone for a bit.

"What are you doing with the boxes?"

No such luck. Seth was trailing behind him across the patio.

"Packing up my stuff." He stopped once he got through the door, trying to figure out where to start as Seth plopped himself down on the bed.

"Why?"

Ryan glared at him as he walked over to his shelving unit to start with the clothes. "So my stuff won't be in your parents' pool house and they can use it again."

"It's your pool house, Ryan."

"I'm not going to be needing it for a while, Seth, and they don't need my stuff cluttering up the place."

Ryan dragged a garbage can and a second box over to his desk and started going through his drawers.

"Your stuff doesn't clutter up the place. Seriously, man, have you seen my room? That's what you call clutter."

Ryan dumped all his personal papers into the garbage can, saving anything the Cohens had given him in the box.

Seth started rifling through the garbage can and pulled out a piece of paper. "You threw out your Honors Certificate?"

"I don't need it where I'm going."

"Mom would have a fit if she knew you were throwing this out. They were so proud of you, when you made the Honors List."

"I'm not much to be proud of now; that paper's worthless." Ryan tried to grab it back from him, but Seth was quicker and held it out of reach.

"Stop talking like that, Ryan. You're so much more than this."

"Damn it, Seth, if you can't be quiet, just get out." Seth's constant yammering and questioning everything he was doing was more than Ryan could take. When he saw Seth's face drop, he regretted his words but he didn't take them back.

"I'll just leave you alone then," Seth mumbled, then turned and left the pool house. Ryan picked up the garbage can and threw it across the room in frustration. He watched the papers settle to the floor from one side of the room to the other, and then sat down on the ledge and hung his head. As bad as things felt right now, he knew they were going to get much, much worse before they ever started to get better.

There was a knock at the door and he looked up to see Sandy surveying the paper-strewn room. "What's going on?" Sandy said.

"Nothing. Just, getting ready, I guess."

Sandy stopped to pick up some of the papers as he made his way over to Ryan. He glanced inside one of the boxes. "Packing up?"

Ryan felt Sandy was just making conversation and didn't feel a real need to answer him.

"What do you want us to do with your boxes?"

"Whatever you want. Give it away, sell it, throw it out. You guys bought it – it's your stuff. I don't need it anymore."

"We'll just put it in storage for you then."

They sat together silently for a few minutes. Finally Sandy waved the papers in his hand, gesturing towards the rest still on the floor. "Did the papers do something to you?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "No. I yelled at Seth."

"Yeah. He told me."

Ryan sighed. "I want to tell him and Kirsten not to come to the sentencing. I think it would be easier."

"First off, none of it's going to be easy. And second off, they're both going to be testifying so they have to be there."

"Testifying? For what?"

"That you're an upstanding citizen and this incident is in no way a reflection of your character and you deserve the lightest possible sentence."

"They don't need to do that."

"Well, yeah, they do. But even if they didn't need to, they'd want to. You don't have to do this alone."

"Yeah, I do. You're not going to be in there with me." Ryan knew. He knew how lonely it was to be in a cell, scared of what might happen, scared of what was going to happen. All the support Sandy wanted to give him wasn't going to prevent that.

"No, we won't. But we'll help you however we can and we'll be here when you get out. You can't push us away. That's what you're doing with Seth, right? Yelling at him, hoping he'll get mad and stop trying to stay a part of your life?"

Ryan glared at Sandy. He hated that he could always figure out what Ryan was doing, even sometimes when Ryan wasn't sure he was doing it.

"Look, Ryan. It's tough. I'm not denying that. But don't cut us out. We love you. We want to help you through this."

Ryan chewed on the inside of his cheek. "You've already done more than enough…"

"And we'll keep doing everything we can." Sandy put his arm around Ryan's shoulders and pulled him a little closer. "Now. Do you want help cleaning up these papers?"

Ryan was going to tell him no, it was his mess and he'd clean it up. Then he looked at Sandy's face and changed his mind. "Sure. If you want to help, you can help."

Ryan spent the rest of the day by himself in the pool house and the Cohens seemed to be leaving him alone for the most part. Sandy popped in to see if he wanted some lunch and when he didn't go in for supper, Kirsten brought him a plate of food. She lingered like she wanted to say something, but ended up just leaving. Seth didn't come out at all.

He spent the night tossing and turning again, but must have finally dropped off at some point because he woke up to Seth hovering over him. "Come run some games with me," he said.

Ryan sat up, rubbing at his eyes. "I don't know, man. I'm not really in the mood…"

"Come on, Ryan." Seth's voice was verging on whining. "Not to make this all about me, but this is my last day to play against someone with skill. Give me this small joy. Please. After today, I have to play by myself or…" He gave a dramatic shudder. "…Dad."

Ryan stretched, waking his body up. "All right. Give me a few minutes."

By the time he got inside, Seth had two bowls and spoons set up and an array of cereals on the counter. He had just poured himself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch when Kirsten breezed into the room. She stopped short, as though surprised to find Ryan inside, but quickly recovered and smiled at them. "Are you boys up to anything today?"

"Just some PlayStation this morning," Seth said. Kirsten looked questioningly at Ryan, so he shrugged at her in confirmation.

"Good." Kirsten nodded her head and finished pouring herself a cup of coffee. "I'll leave you two to it, then." She picked the newspaper from the counter and slipped it under her arm and then left the kitchen in the direction of her bedroom.

Seth was standing beside him, watching him eat. "You ready?"

"Sure," Ryan said as he shoveled the last couple of bites into his mouth.

Playing videogames with Seth, Ryan could get lost in his head, wrapped up in what was happening on the screen and block out what, and who, were around him. He was aware of both Sandy and Kirsten walking by where they were playing. Kirsten dropped off some snacks mid-morning; Sandy joked with Seth about how Ryan was kicking his butt at the moment.

Sandy grilled burgers for lunch, and Kirsten made a salad. Again, the Cohens carried on conversations around him, allowing him to just be and he was thankful for that. When he finished eating, he pushed back from the table and stood up.

"What are you doing now, Ryan?" Sandy's voice boomed at him.

He paused. "I just thought I'd go for a walk down to the beach this afternoon."

"That sounds lovely," Kirsten said. "Wait up and we'll all go."

"A family walk!" Sandy said. "A grand idea."

A family walk was the last thing on Ryan's mind. He wanted some time to himself, to be alone with his thoughts. He didn't want to spend more time with these people who meant the world to him and who he had to leave.

But Seth spoke before he could object. "A family walk? Gee, Dad, how very Ward Cleaver of you."

"Are you saying you don't want to come?" Sandy asked.

"No, I want to come. I just feel it's my duty as a teenager to protest any activity that has the word 'family' in it. It's kind of minty to admit to wanting to go on a family walk. You guys just have to walk behind us and we'll pretend we don't know you."

And when they set off down the path, Ryan and Seth were in front while Sandy and Kirsten walked behind them, holding hands. Seth started a debriefing of their gaming session that morning, reliving all his moves where he defeated Ryan's character, explaining how he could have done things differently when Ryan defeated him. When Ryan rolled his eyes at Seth's claim that he could beat Ryan at anything, Seth said, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sure there are things you can beat me at. Like…" Seth thought for a minute. "Like a foot race. Yes, I'm sure you could beat me at a foot race, what with me being an unathletic Jew and all." He jogged ahead a little and then turned around. "We'll race up to that rock."

"I'm not racing you, Seth."

"Are you scared you're going to lose again, Ryan?" He bounced back and forth on his feet.

"I'm not scared. I just don't feel like running."

"I disagree, my friend. I think you are scared. You're scared you'll lose to me, and then you'll be a marked man in prison, knowing you were defeated by, well, me."

Ryan knew Seth would keep pestering him until he got his way, so he took off running. "Fine then. Go!"

He caught Seth off guard. "Hey! You don't play fair."

Ryan kept a pace so that he was always just ahead of Seth, letting him get almost caught up and then pulling away again. Then he picked up his pace, pulling further and further ahead. It felt good, the burning in his lungs and the aching in his legs.

"Hey, Ryan, wait up!"

Hearing Seth ask him to slow down just spurred him on faster. He passed the rock that Seth designated as the finish line and kept going. Finally, when he could run no further, he collapsed onto the sand, lying spread eagle and staring up at the cloudless sky. He lay there breathing deeply, listening to the roar of the waves as they hit the shore, to the shriek of the gulls overhead, to the silence that wasn't silent.

Eventually, Seth landed on the sand beside him, gasping for breath. "That wasn't…one of my…better…ideas. I think…I ran more…today than…in my whole life…put together."

They lay on the sand, catching their breaths. When Sandy and Kirsten arrived, they sat between them, Kirsten next to Seth, Sandy next to Ryan. "Mommy," Seth said, crawling closer to Kirsten, "I think I'm dying."

"What were you two doing?" Kirsten laughed. "Racing?"

"I felt bad that I trounced him so soundly this morning, I wanted to do something so that he could beat me. You know, so he could go to prison feeling like a winner."

"Seth!"

"It's okay, Kirsten," Ryan said. "Someone had to say it out loud."

"It's not that we don't want to talk about it-" Kirsten said.

Ryan nodded. "It's just that it's weird."

Sandy clapped a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "I will say, Ryan, that you've kept life interesting since you came to live with us."

"At least you won't have to worry about fistfights breaking out at any charity events anymore."

When Kirsten started crying, Seth put his arm around his mom. "Don't worry, Mom. I'll put the beat down on someone at the next party if it'll make you feel better."

Kirsten smiled through her tears. "Seth."

Sandy stood up and brushed the sand off his shorts. "What do you guys say we head back?" He held a hand out and pulled Ryan up as Kirsten and Seth stood up.

As they started walking back, Kirsten slipped her arm around Ryan's waist. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too," he said. They walked in silence, watching Seth and Sandy in front of them, each trying to push the other deeper into the edge of the water.

When they got back from their walk, Kirsten told Ryan he could pick whatever he wanted to eat that night.

"Kind of like a last supper?" he said. He started to smile at Kirsten, but stopped when he saw her smile drop off her face. "Sorry," he said. "Bad joke…again."

"It wasn't funny then," Kirsten said, "and it's even less funny now."

"It's a little bit funny," Seth said, smiling.

"Yeah, honey," Sandy said, coming up behind her and putting his arms around her. "Sometimes it helps to laugh."

But Ryan could see that Kirsten was closer to crying than laughing. "I never had Thai before I lived with you guys and it's something I'll always associate with Cohens."

Kirsten's face brightened up a bit. "Thai?"

"Yeah."

After supper, Ryan went outside to sit by the pool and watch the sunset one last time. Seth followed him out, but Ryan told him he'd rather be alone with his thoughts. When Seth promised to be quiet, Ryan looked at him skeptically, but agreed to allow him to stay. After the third time Ryan glared at him for starting to talk, Seth realized he couldn't keep quiet and left him alone.

He was still outside when he saw the light go on in Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom. Soon after, Sandy came out to talk to him. "You staying here all night?"

"Maybe. I won't have the opportunity to be outside for a long time, so I thought I'd take advantage."

"Kirsten sent me out with a blanket."

Before Ryan had a chance to protest, Sandy had shaken it out and laid it over him. "Thanks."

"I'll see you in the morning?" Sandy said.

Ryan nodded.

"And you'll go inside if you get cold?"

"Sure, Sandy."

Ryan woke up as the sun was coming up. Seth was beside him, and he noticed that he had another blanket on him.

Seth handed him a cup of coffee. "So. I guess this is it."

Ryan nodded.

"Thanks, man. For everything. You completely changed my life when you came here."

"Yeah, well, thanks back. My life definitely improved since I moved here. Well, up until now."

"Yeah, now kind of sucks."

"Now definitely sucks."

Silence descended over them.

"Want some cereal?" Seth asked.

The sentencing hearing went pretty much as expected. The prosecution paraded a bunch of people from Jake's life across the stand who claimed how awful it was that Jake was dead and what a hardship it would be to his family and how he didn't deserve to die so young. And people from Ryan's life, like Dr Kim, who testified that this wasn't the first time Ryan got in trouble with his fists.

Then it was Barry's turn to call people from Ryan's life who could demonstrate that Ryan wasn't a bad person, that he was intelligent and hard working, and that he deserved a light sentence for one horrible mistake that wasn't his fault.

The judge deliberated an hour and came back with a sentence of three years, the shortest possible term they could hope for. It meant that Ryan would be up for parole at the end of his first year.

The guard walked towards him, but then stood to the side to give him a chance to say good-bye. He wished he didn't have the chance; he hadn't wanted them here to see him locked up. He had wanted to tell them not to come visit him even, but he knew that request would fall on deaf ears. The Cohens rarely let him retreat by himself, never let him pull away no matter how many times he tried. They refused to be pushed away.

He turned to Kirsten, whose tears were glistening in her eyes, and gave her a hug.

"You'll be okay," she said, and Ryan wasn't sure if she was reassuring him or her. He knew she was the one he hurt the most. She hadn't wanted to let him into her home, had expected trouble from him, and though it had taken a few years, she had been right. She had been the most wary of accepting him. If she hadn't given in to Sandy and Seth in the first place, she wouldn't be in this courtroom worrying over him.

"After the last couple years of your cooking, at least my stomach is prepared for prison." She laughed a little at this, and Ryan was glad because he'd rather see her laughing than crying right now.

"Hey, man." Seth slapped Ryan's hand. "I'm sorry things didn't work out better."

"The story of my life."

Seth pulled him into a hug. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too, man." Ryan turned quickly away from Seth because he didn't think he could look at him. He'd never had a friend like Seth before. He had always been the little brother and the sidekick before he came to Newport. At first, it had been weird being the one who knew more and who had experienced more. But as much as he had taught Seth about the real world, Seth had taught him about trust and acceptance.

Finally he turned and shook Sandy's hand. "Thanks for everything you've done."

Sandy pulled him closer. "I'm not done yet. You know that, right?"

Ryan did know that. For some reason, Sandy would never give up on him no matter how much he screwed up. Sandy was always doing more and offering more and giving more. His own parents had given up on him long ago. The first time he'd been arrested, his mother washed her hands of him, kicking him out. But Sandy never seemed to think he wasn't worth it.

Ryan turned the guard and put his hands behind his back. "Okay, I'm ready."

The guard locked the metal cuffs on his wrists and led him away. Ryan didn't look back, because he didn't want to spend his first day in prison getting beat up for crying. Instead, he chewed a hole in his cheek, incredulous that he could be so fortunate to have found a family that thought he was worth fighting for.

THE END