1

Our first date. I can't believe I'm this nervous. It's just Luke. I know Luke. At least I think I know Luke. I guess I don't know dating Luke.

"This thing we're doing here, I want you to know... I'm in, I'm all in."

"Are you scared?"

The words kept going through my head all the way back to the diner. Am I scared? I saw everything in his eyes tonight. The whole package. Love, comfort, safety. He's got it all. I always had the comfort and safety part. Luke has always been there for me. But the love... how did I miss that? Have I been that self absorbed? Or are his instincts right, am I scared?

He looked nervous tonight when he picked me up, but as the night progressed he just looked sure. He's trusting me with his heart. He's all in. He's gambling. Should he? I've never been that good at relationships. Something always gets in the way. I get in the way. I've rarely trusted anyone enough to let them know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. Chris - he never saw me weak. Max - he never saw me scared. Jason - he never saw me at all.

I know that Luke's seen more than most. He's been my friend, probably my best friend. He's seen me weak. He's seen me scared. He knows all my annoying habits. Is it enough? Can I trust him?

He pulls me out of my revelry with, "You want a beer."

"Sure."

We travel through the dark diner up to his apartment. We're alone. I've waited seven weeks to get him alone. Two kisses and seven weeks of phone play. He takes two beers out of the fridge and twists the tops. He hands me mine, and leans back against the counter taking a swig.

I sip mine. The cold feels good on my throat that's gotten suddenly tight watching him.

"Luke, I'm not scared," I declare.

He watches me for a moment, trying not to smile. I wonder what's going through his head.

Am I being funny? He walks to me, takes the beer from my hand and places it on the table.

Suddenly serious he asks, "Are you sure?"

He looks almost intimidating. Maybe I'm not so sure.

Gently he spans my waist, kisses my temple, my cheek, my neck. Rocking me against him, I'm caught in that dream, desperate for his kisses. Trembling I search for his mouth, instantly needy.

He doesn't disappoint. I've never wanted to kiss someone as badly as this. To taste, to touch, to stay this connected.

We undress each other slowly, lingering and touching. I'm used to setting the pace, fast and frantic and in control. He'll have none of that. His softly whispered, "You're not going to rush me," has me groaning. He's found my weakness in drugging kisses and whispered words. Soft seduction. He's seducing me and I'm letting him.

"Just let me have you Lorelai," whispered in my ear has me weak. He can have whatever he wants I think. His hands and mouth are magic and I'm completely under his spell. I've had men before but I'm not sure they ever had me. He has me. Totally.

His breathing is heavy in my ear as we come to completion and he rests his weight upon me. He tries to lift up but I've wrapped my arms around his neck so tight I won't let him move.

"Not yet," I whisper.

I have an unbelievable urge to cry - to just ball my eyes out, and I don't want him to know. Unable to stop, a few tears trickle down my face and I laugh at my own vulnerability. He'll want to know why I'm crying, and I have no idea why.

"Lorelai, look at me."

Leaning on his elbows he gently wipes the tears from my face. He's not surprised by them. He seems almost awed, somehow honored. He kisses me until the tears are forgotten.

Luke's arm is tight around my waist. I can hear his even breathing behind me. I'm sleeping with Luke, and it feels so right. So safe. So comforting. So loving. I drift into the dream...

"Would you like to dance?"

I can feel the cool summer air on my skin. Every nerve ending is alive as I place my hand in his and we start moving to the music. My skin feels hot where his hand touches my waist. We tentatively move to the music and my nerves make me laugh. This is Luke and Luke can waltz. I feel happy. He pulls me closer and his steady gaze has me feeling hot. Luke can waltz. Dirty.

He twirls me around and suddenly the sun is shining. I look down at my dress and it's white, and flowing and Luke looks so handsome in his tux. We twirl and twirl to the music staring into each other's eyes. I see then what I saw so long ago when he told me he was "all in." I see the love.

I look back at him wanting him to see the love in mine but he begins to fade and I reach out to grasp him but the daylight is turning to night and I can't see him anymore.

Restlessly I awake in the dark, disoriented. The dream comes back to me and I reach for his arm holding him close - not wanting him to fade away.

I've fallen in love with Luke and I'm scared.