Rating: PG- T (for some not so mild language.)
Summary: What really happened in those final moments in Mount Doom…ONESHOT
Disclaimer: Doesn't belong to me…never will. I can memorize enough to at least hold some share in it but noooo…stupid Copyright people.
Author's Note: Have any of you ever noticed how much Elijah Woods cusses? That guy is such a pottymouth! I think that's why we all love him so much, eh? Love his eyes. Hope you like this…
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-In the Cracks of Mount Doom…-
"Oh fuck!" Frodo cradled his bleeding hand, watching blood flow freely from his missing digit.
"What the fuck did you do that for you fucking idiot!"
Smeagol looked questioningly at him, the finger still waving at Frodo from between his teeth.
"What masters told us to, precioussss." He purred, his tennis ball eyes glazing over with fear.
"I never told you to bite my fucking finger off, you fucking fucker!" Frodo tried to flip him off but the effect was greatly dampened by his missing index finger…go figure.
"Never saidss, master saysss. Gollum! Gollum! You did sayssss!"
Frodo's large blue eyes blinking back tears of pain. He squeezed out the only thing he could through his gritted teeth.
"Fucker."
"Master saysss, while he is sssleeping! Ifsss I may ever wearsss a ring other than Sssssam'ss, may Smeagol bitessss my finger off! Master saysss it! We ssswear! We swear it! Good Smeagol does what Master says!"
Frodo snaps.
"Fuck it! AHHHHH!"
He dives after Smeagol, pinning him to the ground and beating him with his four-fingered hand. Smeagol, being more agile and "wriggly like a fishesss" squirms out from under Frodo. They engage in an epic battle of hair pulling.
"Mr. Frodo!"
Two heads turn. One missing patches of hair…the other…having not much hair to begin with….
"Sam." Frodo reaches out .
"Sstupid fat hobbitses is Sssam?" Smeagol crawls over the rocks to Sam, examining him closely as if seeing him for the first time.
Frodo snatches Smeagol's loincloth.
"Not a word, you hear me?"
"Not a word about Sam'sss-"
"Argh, fucker!" Frodo dives at Smeagol, and both rolled off the ledge. As for the rest of the story…I think we all know that.