Part 5 – I am not now, nor have I ever been a Cohen!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to all the people that reviewed last time! Really made my day! This is the next part but not the last... unless you want me to stop. The chapter title is actually an alteration of a Scarerow and Mrs.King episode titel, because I love that show! Please review.

Dr.Nibler was the first to enter Ryan's room. The boy turned his head expectantly. His face lit up when he saw the man he thought to be his dad. His smile widened when he saw Stan and also Amanda Carlson. Only when he spotted the Cohens, his expression straightened a bit.

"Ryan." Nigel had to supress the tears. He hadn't even realized how much he missed this boy. To Seth's astonishment, Ryan himself had tears in his eyes. He looked like a little child. Suddenly, Seth felt someone taking his hand. He turned to see Summer, who seemed to understand him. Despite the trouble with Ryan, Seth felt his heart jump up and down.

"Dad." Sandy cringed as Ryan adressed that word to Nigel, who smiled broadly.

"How are you?" Amanda asked. She had sat down on Ryan's bed and held his hand. Only Stan stood at the end of the bed and looked emotionless.

"It's ok."

The Cohens didn't know to react to this situation. Before the Carlsons arrival, Ryan's behavior had hurt them but this was even worse. Even Dr.Nibler looked horrible. He had thought seeing these people, Ryan would remember. Now he'd have to operate and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"This makes me sick." Seth whispered.

"We should give them some time alone." Sandy said with difficulty.

"I have to talk with you about Ryan's further treatment." Dr.Nibler informed Sandy and Kirsten.

"Maybe these people should decide." Seth mumbled bitterly. Summer squeezed his hand and for a few seconds Seth didn't care for anything else.

"No," Dr.Nibler told Seth and turned back to Sandy, "You're still his guardians. You're responsible for him even if Ryan doesn't know that."

Ryan didn't notice the Cohens leaving his room. He was too happy to see his family around. But something seemed different to him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, it was just a feeling. Just looking at his father, who had tears in his eyes, and seeing Stan and Amanda made him happy. He ignored the throbbing headache that seemed to become worse and worse because he was afraid they'd make his family leave.

"Do you need anything?" Amanda asked.

"Maybe some new water." He pointed to the empty glass. Uusally, he wouldn't have sent her to get water but the headache was killing him and also he felt extremly nauseous.

"Of course honey." Without Ryan's acknowledgment, Amanda signed her husband to follow her outside. He nodded.

"I'm going to see Dr.Nibler again. I'll be right back." Nigel told Ryan and followed his wife outside. Ryan wasn't worried, after all Stan was still with him. He smiled at the slightly older boy but he didn't return it.

"What do you want?" Stan asked with narrowed eyes. He didn't believe Ryan had lost his memory and that he didn't remember having left their house so long ago.

"Stan, what's the matter?" Ryan asked with a small laugh. He was confused.

"Cut that crap, Ryan. We both know this is just an act. You want something. I thought this family was rich, not rich enough for you?" Ryan was clearly taken aback. He had no idea what Stan was talking about and he didn't understand why the boy he called his brother looked at him so angrily. Ryan tried to ignore the headache that was now almost unbearable. For a moment he had to close his eyes. Suddenly, images flashed before his eyes: Stan and him laughing, Stand and him in the pool, Stan and him fighting over the remote control.

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked, forcing himself to open his eyes.

"This is so not funny. Why are you doing this? Mom and Dad don't need this." Stan said, he started pacing around the room. Ryan tried to follow with his eyes but it was too painful.

"Mom needed medication after you were gone," Stan laughed without humor, " Dad worked and worked, was hardly ever home. And I had thought it was bad when you were actually there!" Stan stopped in front of the window and stared outside. Ryan looked at him, the pain in his head overwhelming.

"I never understood it, you were always better. I could do whatever, you were always better. You aren't their biological child and you are always just better." Stan turned to him, angry. Ryan's eyes were open but he didn't see anything anymore, there was just black. He felt like he'd fall unconcious any minute.

"Ryan did this, Ryan did that," Stan mocked.

"Stop." Ryan said, but it was just above a whisper. He wasn't able to control the pain anymore.

"You walked into our lives and destroyed mine. My parents loved me before you came, after you'd left I was just the substitute. Everybody just loves you and I so can't understand why."

Ryan didn't hear Stan's last few words, he was unconscious.

Dr.Nibler was pacing around and wringling with his hands, he was freaking Sandy out. Each time he had to tell them something, he was this nervous. Sandy wished for a doctor that was older, more experienced. After all, his family's future depended on him.

"We'll have to operate Ryan." Dr.Nibler eventually stated.

"The results are back already?" Kirsten asked suspicous.

"MRT shows quickly."

"Then why didn't you inform us earlier?" Sandy angrily cut off the doctor.

"Because there was a chance that it would disappear when Ryan saw the Carlsons. But apparently, we have to operate."

"I don't believe you, I want a second opinion." Kirsten said.

"I understand that but the longer we wait, the harder it'll be to operate. There are chances that we delete... certain memories."

"Dr.Nibler, I don't question your qualification but you are neither telling us what exactly Ryan's problem is, you want to operate. To me it all sounds like a bad joke." Sandy explained. He was angry at the young man who probably though of himself as a God.

"To me, too, Dr.Nibler sighed. His beeper went off.

"It's Ryan." He said storming out, Sandy and Kirsten were right behind him.

It was Marissa who saw Stan existing Ryan's room, his face was pale. She ran over to the young man, concerned about Ryan.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Uh, I don't know. We were talking," he cleared his throat, "and then he fell unconscious." Marissa watched as several nurses as well as Dr.Nibler stormed into Ryan's room. Her heart beat faster. She was scared. She didn't even want to think about what this could mean.

"I have to tell Seth and Summer." She said, but to no one in particular. Stan nodded nonetheless.

The young Carlson stared the closed door. Then the anger washed over him again and his eyes narrowed. He still didn't believe Ryan. A part of him almost hoped Ryan wouldn't wake up. As he sat down in one of the chairs because his knees were weak, he thought about the time he'd shared with Ryan. Stan hadn't hated the little guy from the beginning. When his parents told him about the little brother he'd get, Stan had been overly happy. Soon this started to change though. Ryan was a good child. He didn't want to make any trouble. He didn't want to skip school, he didn't want to steal some bonbons or scare old ladies. But Stan wanted to. All his friends with brothers did things like this. Ryan didn't. To add to this, his parents always hugged him, told him to great he was and how much they loved him. It had made Stan jealous and soon he just wanted Ryan out. Just out. Even after he was gone, he was still present. His mother was depressed and slept or cried most of the time, while his father worked until late at night. Everything had been Ryan's fault. Stan would do everything to prevent history from repeating itself.

Seth kicked at the little stones outside. He had to let out his anger. He wished one of the stones was Stan Carlson. It hurt him so much that Ryan thought this guy was his brother. For a short moment he wondered what Trey, Ryan's only biological brother, would think of this. But Seth knew nothing about Trey so he dropped it. Also he didn't want to think about any other brothers of Ryan. He was Ryan's best friend and brother.

"Hey Cohen." Summer interrupted his thoughts. She approached him slowly as if to give him time to send her away. Truth was, he didn't want her away. As long as she was this nice girl she'd been before.

"I hate Stan." Seth told her, his face turned away from her.

"Me, too. I think as soon as Ryan comes to his senses, he will as well."

Then they just stood there in comfortable silence. At least Summer found it comfortable, for Seth any silence was awkward.

"If Ryan leaves us, I'll go with him." Seth said after a moment. Summer turned to him.

"I'd miss you." She admitted shyly. Seth was flabbergasted. He stared at her, his eyes wide. Despite her embarrassment, Summer had to laugh. Slowly, she leaned in to kiss him. Seth moved towards her automatically. Just seconds before their lips met, Marissa approached them.

"Ryan- something is wrong!" she told them out of breath, all three of ran back inside.

Outside Ryan's room, Kirsten sat down next to Amanda Carlson. She looked as devasted as herself. They still didn't have any news on Ryan.

"I hate waiting." Kirsten began. She wasn't as good at talking as her son and husband.

"Me, too. I just hope he's ok." The other woman replied.

"He will be." Kirsten said but more to convince herself.

"I thought I'd never see Ryan again. It was hard when he left again." Amanda admitted.

"I don't want to make that experience." The two women stared at each other. Amanda was the first to look away.

"He was such a chatty, happy child. At first," Amanda swallowed hard, remembering the good time, "he was always so embarrassed when he laughed. Such a sweet child."

Kirsten thought about the Ryan she knew. He was everything but chatty. Happy? She wondered if he was happy. She felt guilty not knowing it. Again it hit her how little she knew about the boy. Sandy returned balancing four cups of coffee.

"Here you go." He handed Amanda and Kirsten each a cup. He looked around for Nigel but couldn't make him out.

"Where's Mr.Carlson?"

"Outside, smoking," She was embarrased, "He quit some time ago but desperate times..." she trailed off and sipped her coffee.

The three kids stormed in, causing the adults to startle.

"Ryan?" Seth asked, now out of breath.

"We know nothing yet." His father informed him sitting down next to his wife.

Another round of waiting began.

END, part 5

Ok! Done! Please tell me what you thought, I'll try to hurry the next chapter but I am really caught up finding an apartment and job in a new town so it might take a while longer.

Written by Anika