Later on that day, after being excused from school early, sitting at the wooden study desk in his room, Kurama poured through books of poems intent on getting at least ten poems done tonight, and though he looked for poems with upbeat meanings, he only found ones he liked to have morbid meanings about death and melancholy. Where were all the cheerful ones? Apparently none of them attracted his interest; the morbid poems were the ones that caught his attention. Already he had picked out three poems—all by the same poet, Emily Dickinson, and each had a bittersweet melancholy to them, and as was the custom of the poems of that particular poet, each poem's title was just a number—though on quite a few the number was replaced with the first line of the poem in brackets. Obviously it was so they could be easily identified by anyone reading the book they were in. the first-line titles of these poems were: "So proud she was to die," "What if I Say…?" and "My Life Closed Twice…."

Each one impressed its significance to Kurama by relating somewhat to how he was feeling—the first one expressed someone who was proud to die, who cherished the satisfaction of it (though Kurama couldn't defer whether it was a suicidal poem), the second was blatantly suicidal in nature, about the speaker citing her desire to die and join her loved one in death (Kurama pondered the significance of this one to him and Hiei—if one did die would the other follow?) and the last one spoke of the pain of saying goodbye to those you cared about—eerily it could've fit Kurama exactly since he experienced that pain twice so far—first with Kurounue and second with Hiei, and he agreed wholeheartedly with it being all one needed of hell (though he wondered about it being all anyone knew of heaven—how could it be heavenly…of course, it must mean that to get to heaven one needs to 'part' ways with those they care about—that would make it the only thing any living being knew of heaven).

With those three poems set aside, Kurama plowed again through the poetry books he had his mother check out of the library for him—she was concerned as she always was about Kurama focusing so much more on his school work than on his health. But she acted that way even before he became an A-student, so it didn't distract any of his attention. He just continued doing his homework, refreshed from a short nap his mother forced him to take, studying each poetry book intently as he searched for another seven poems.

By the time it came for him to go to sleep, Kurama was just finishing the last poem of that day's quota and would've continued if his mother hadn't told him to get some rest—if he didn't he could get sick again, and Shiori wasn't about to let that happen so easily and so Kurama put away his books and went to sleep after changing into his night clothes and taking a shower. Surprisingly he actually fell asleep without having to use any sleep aid agent.

Two days later Kurama handed in his poetry assignment feeling a little anxious—would anyone connect his selections and figure out how much in pain he was? Would they even care if they did?

Standing stoically on the school's roof during lunch, feeling the weight of sadness and his thoughts on his shoulders and heart, Kurama looked up at the shining sun, disliking how bright it was—he preferred the rain since it reminded him of Hiei and the times they made love. Sweet, intense times they were, the rain pouring down on them as they consummated their union alone, one time in a mountain valley and another in a mountainside cave—both times the same and yet surprisingly different. It was bittersweet thinking of those times, the memories coming to the forefront of Kurama's mind vividly, depressing him as he remembered how Hiei was gone—feeling hopeless to the clinging despair in his heart whispering that he and Hiei wouldn't be together again.

But he couldn't help hoping and believing that they would—but all he had was hope, and in his experience in the Demon Realm, hope was a fragile, flitting thing that left as swiftly as it appeared. Nothing at all like it was described in another of Dickinson's poems—the one that spoke of hope as an immortal enduring bird that never stopped existing within the confines of a person's soul. That was nothing like the hope Kurama had experienced living in the Demon Realm.

Sighing quietly, leaning against the wall that the door back inside the school was in, Kurama continued to stare at the clear blue sky, not flitting his eyes even when someone walked through the door and onto the roof.

"I thought you'd be up here—though you usually stay in the library for lunch." Kaito spoke standing next to Kurama leaning against the wall, glancing once at the fox-demon who still stared at the sky. "So, are you up here to get some time away from all of those admirers?" Kurama just shook his head, still facing the sky, but taking in the image of Kaito out of the corner of his eye; the black haired boy's eyes studied his profile before straying to Kurama's left arm. Instinctively Kurama moved his left arm, making sure that the bandage around his wrist wasn't visible—he could've healed it quickly but he just didn't have the motivation to do so. But now he wished he had since he was sure Kaito saw the bandage, and if the boy did he may put two and two together—and if that happened….

"Shuuichi, what's that on your wrist…did you get hurt? Why isn't it healed yet?"

"It's…it's nothing."

"Nothing? C'mon Shuuichi, I can tell you're lying." Kaito replied now standing in front of Kurama forcing the redhead to look him in the eye. "Shuuichi, show me your arm or I'm going to assume it's self-inflicted." Kaito demanded, not seriously believing that Kurama had hurt himself, only wanting to know what happened. However, at his words, Kurama averted his gaze and refused either to speak or meet Kaito's eye, his heart pounding at how correct the black-haired boy's words were. Seeing this strange reaction, not at all what he expected, Kaito gasped and stepped back, looking at Kurama as though surprised by what he saw.

"Don't…don't tell me that you did…."

Kurama only closed his eyes, trying to slow his racing heart—why was it so difficult to control his body's reactions right now? All the times before this he'd always been able to hide all emotion behind a cool façade, but now…he was sure Kaito or anyone else for that matter could see through his stoic exterior.

"Oh, god, Shuuichi, let me see your arm or I'll go right to the school phones and call your mother." Kaito spoke, knowing full well that Kurama would comply, and sure enough the fox-demon held out his bandaged arm for Kaito to see.

"Don't tell anyone, please Kaito." Kurama pleaded surprised by how weak and pathetic his voice sounded, tears welling in his eyes. "Especially not my mom, please."

"Shuuichi…but why? Why did you do this?" Kaito asked, cradling Kurama's wrist gently in his hands, wondering if he should take off the bandage and look at the wound; he wasn't sure if he had the courage to do so though. Kurama only shook his head, he wasn't going to say why, but didn't make any motion to move away from Kaito—and Kaito figured that was good enough for a first try.

"Could you tell me when you did this? And shy it's not healed yet?"

"…Wednesday…."

"Wednesday? You mean that…in the bathroom you…?"

"Yes."

"Oh god, I was right there and I didn't notice." Kaito muttered, letting go of Kurama's wrist and closing his eyes. "I never thought you…."

"Please Kaito, don't tell anyone."

"…I should tell someone…."

"Please…."

"…all right, but you need to promise not to do it again, and let me check your arms every time I ask. If I see even one suspicious cut, I'm telling someone. You got that, Shuuichi?"

Kurama didn't speak, only nodded, still unable to make himself look Kaito in the eye—he didn't want to promise, but he didn't want Kaito to tell anybody about him cutting himself. Nobody would understand, unless he explained about Hiei, and he couldn't—he couldn't tell anyone how much he cared about the demon; nor could he explain how much it hurt him for Hiei not to be with him. How could anyone else understand when he didn't understand it completely himself? So Kurama remained silent as Kaito told him to stay where he was that he was going to get what he needed to change the bandage—the white bandage showed red around the wrist area, the wound may've opened during Kurama's attempt to hide it from Kaito. Neither boy said anything when Kaito returned with a first aid kit, and took the bandage off of Kurama's wrist, taking in a deep breath of air as he saw the wound.

"Looks like you were close to getting an infection." Kaito whispered as he dabbed the cut with a cotton ball with ointment on it, after cleaning it with some cool water. Seeing that the wound was deep, even if it wasn't deep enough to kill Kurama's semi-demonic body, Kaito took out some other stuff from the first aid kit, telling Kurama that the wound should be stitched up. "I'm sure you knew that though. Why you didn't just use your demon plants on it for it to heal faster, I don't know, but that would be the best way."

"…." Kurama just stared at Kaito, watching in silence as the boy stitched up his wound and re-bandaged it with a clean bandage. Afterward Kaito left to return the first aid kit and throw out the soiled bandage, returning to the roof carrying his and Kurama's lunches.

"We don't have much time left, but we both should eat something before the break's over."

"…." Kurama took his lunch and began eating without a word, eating the food slowly with no enthusiasm, offering some to Kaito who finished his lunch quickly. But the boy shook his head. So when the lunch break was over, and Kurama wasn't finished eating his lunch, the fox-demon headed back to class after throwing out the rest of the food. He didn't have any appetite.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and after school Kaito walked home with Kurama, wanting to make sure the fox-demon didn't try anything, reminding Kurama of the promise—that he wouldn't cut himself anymore.

Surprisingly, Kurama kept that promise for the rest of the school year, not even thinking about cutting himself even though the thought of Hiei's abandonment still plagued him. Seeing that Kurama was apparently over cutting himself, Kaito assumed everything was okay, figuring that it may have been the stress from school that caused Kurama to do that. Kaito had felt the same way a few times himself, especially with how hard he always used to try to best Kurama on the standardized tests but was unable. So Kaito thought that Kurama was getting a grip on himself like Kaito did himself when he tried to hurt himself before—life was more important than any school assignment.

But he was wrong, Kurama wasn't over his suicidal thoughts because it hadn't anything to do about school—it didn't even have anything to do with the human realm, but Kaito didn't know that. What's more, even if Kaito still thought of paying close attention to Kurama's emotional problems, he couldn't, different homeroom, limiting his time to hang out with the fox-demon.

Maybe if Kaito had been around, nagging Kurama, the fox-demon would've endured his depression long enough to get better, but instead Kurama sank into a deeper depression, hiding his pain behind a cleverly crafted mask. Merely biding his time and tricking everyone into thinking he was fine when he wasn't—he would never be okay.