Title: We Didn't Start the Fire
Author: alienangel19852003 with special guest star Miandra Neves
Rating: M, cursing, sex, violence… stuff not for children's eyes
Disclaimer: Okay obviously I don't own Charmed. Otherwise I wouldn't be giving this stuff away for free over here. I don't even on the original character in the story, Cilla is solely the work of Miss Neves.
Cilla was dumbfounded. An angel? That's impossible. Sure, she had her little fire thing, but that was just because she was some kind of freakish science experiment, or so she assumed. She'd never believed in God, angels, magic, or any of that bullshit. A banging on her door dragged her out of her thoughts.
"Priscilla, are you all right in there? I heard some noises in the hallway," a voice called from outside.
"Uh... yeah, I'm fine, Mr. McNeil!" she called back. She looked back at Chris and found herself staring into his green eyes. He looked sincere (and a wee bit agitated), but there was just no way...
"Your name is Priscilla?" Chris broke into a fit of laughter, "So, was that Elvis?"
Cilla glared at him, "Actually, angel boy, that was my super. I dunno how you got in here, but leave before I call the cops..."
"How are you gonna call the cops on an angel?"
"Get out!" she growled, her bed catching fire, "God damn!" She immediately ran from the door to her bed put it out before the smoke alarm went off.
"Freak pyro bitch. Your power isn't uncommon, but your still a freak," Chris said.
"Aren't you the pot calling the kettle black, you pseudo-angel son of a bitch!" she glared as she smothered the fire on her bed.
"My mother is not a bitch...all the time."
"My God! I don't care! Just get the hell out of my apartment!" she cried in fury and frustration. Stray stalked out of the closet and immediately picked up on Cilla's anger and it's source. He quickly let out a warning meow as his fur started to stand on end.
"What's with your cat? It keeps looking like it's gonna scratch my eyes out or something..."
"Not a bad idea..." she grumbled.
"If you wanna talk to your super or whatever, I'll be in your bathroom drying off," he said, turning. Cilla instantly stepped in his way.
"Do you always interpret 'Get the hell out' as 'Make yourself at home'? I want you out now. That's the last time I'm gonna say it... nicely."
"Nicely?" Chris said sarcastically, "Didn't think you were the nice type."
"I'm not," she muttered as she swung at him again. Chris raised a hand, telekinetically holding her arm in place. Her eyes widened in shock.
"What the hell? How are you doing that?"
"The same way you set fires."
"And how do you suppose that is, Chris Angel?"
Chris scoffed and looked at her through wet hair; "It's Halliwell, actually."
"Like I care..." she responded, "You gonna let go of my hand or what?"
"Not until I'm good and damn ready. And until I'm sure you won't try and beat me up."
"The only way to be sure of that is if you get the hell out," she said as she went to punch him in the stomach.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, blocking the blow. He then looked up toward the ceiling, "Dammit Phoebe… They can't do anything by themselves," he looked back at her, "I think I will leave."
"Good riddance to bad garbage... Carry your ass..." she said with a smirk.
"I have a better idea," he said, grabbing her shoulders and orbing away with her.
When they arrived in the living room at the manor, Cilla was stunned... for all of three seconds. She swiftly kicked Chris squarely in the balls.
"You ass fuck! What the hell did you do!" she yelled.
"My balls..." Chris squeaked as he crumbled to the ground. Cilla looked around the doorways frantically for the way out.
"I can't believe! God! You're such an ass!" she muttered as she walked across the room.
Phoebe sauntered into the living room through the conservatory doors and into the girl from her premonition. She looked confusedly from the girl to her nephew for a second or two.
"Excuse me, could you show me how to get outta here?" Cilla asked impatiently.
Phoebe opened her mouth to speak just as Piper descended the stairs.
"Chris, why are you on the floor...touching yourself?" Piper asked warily.
"My balls..." was all he could manage from his prone position.
"Hey... Did you kick my kid in the balls?" Piper asked Cilla angrily.
"No offense, lady, but he deserved it. Stalking me, pretty much breaking into my apartment, harassing me, assaulting me, and somehow bringing me here, wherever the hell 'here' is..." she explained calmly with irritation in her voice.
"Christopher Halliwell. I told you the mission was purely reconnaissance." Piper ranted above her son, who was still clutching his groin and glaring at them.
Cilla looked around disconcertedly, "Who the hell are you people and why the hell am I here?"
"Because someone obviously messed up," Paige said, entering the room, "Hey, its premonition girl," she said happily.
Cilla ran a hand through her hair in frustration, "Can I just go now?"
Piper ignored her, "Great... now that money I was gonna spend on new speakers for the club we have to take and get a testicle retrieval operation."
Cilla couldn't help but smirk, "Or at least enough for an emergency stomach pump."
"Fuck you," Chris spat.
"You wish," she laughed.
"Hush children! I want to know what's going on here... Chris," Piper glared.
"Can I go now or what?" Cilla looked at each of the sisters for an answer.
"No. I want you to tell me exactly happened," Piper said.
"What's to tell? The guy stalked, assaulted, harassed, and brought me here against my will…" Cilla responded, crossing her arms.
Chris pulled himself off of the floor. "That is so not true," he said.
"It is so... Why else would I be here?"
"I felt like bringing you," he said.
"How did you bring her?" Piper demanded.
"My usual method," Chris replied.
"Some weird transporting with a pansy light show?" she looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I like to call it orbing," he said.
Piper flicked her wrists; "She didn't freeze..."
"Freeze? What is going on here? Is this some kind of joke? And who ARE you people?" Cilla said, her frustration building again.
"Now look what you've done. Now she knows the secret," Piper said.
"I didn't tell you to freeze her," Chris said.
"Could someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on around here!" Cilla yelled as the back of the couch was suddenly ablaze.
"My couch!" Piper shrieked.
"Water," Paige called. Water orbed into the living room, and she redirected it to the couch.
"Okay. Could you umm... not set anything else on fire until we sort this out?" Piper said, still a little jumpy from the fire.
"Look, I can't always control it when I'm mad, okay! So, I suggest somebody start talking before you lose your curtains!" Cilla's voice was still reeling with anger.
Phoebe gasped, scandalized.
"Um, okay. What are you?" Piper asked.
"Hell if I know... What are you?" Cilla responded, as she started to slowly calm down.
"Witches. And since you didn't freeze, you must be one, too. Or at least half-witch," Chris said.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! Hold on one minute! Witches! You guys do belong in an institution. I dunno why I got dragged into this, but I'll see my way out," she said as she started for the door.
Piper flicked her wrists, blowing up a lamp a few paces ahead of Cilla. Cilla stopped dead in her tracks, looking back at Chris and the sisters.
"What do you people want from me? I've never done anything to you..." she muttered.
"Hello! You kicked me in the balls," Chris said.
"Hello! You were asking for it," Cilla retorted.
"He often does that. Makes me wanna smack him, and I'm his mother. I'm Piper, by the way."
Cilla looked somewhat confused; "His mother? How's that? You can't be more than ten years older than him."
"He didn't tell you he's from the future, yet, did he?" Paige asked.
Cilla blinked for a few moments to try and absorb that little tidbit of information.
"I need a drink..." she murmured.
"Okie dokie," Piper said turning and walking into the kitchen.
Absentmindedly, still slightly overwhelmed, Cilla followed Piper in to the kitchen.
'This is so unreal... From the future... This has to be some kind of trick... But on me? I'm not even sure what to think right now," she mused.
Chris smirked as he watched his mother mix up some Ovaltine for Cilla. Cilla looked at the glass warily.
"I was thinking of something a little bit stronger than chocolate milk..."
Piper smiled wanly, "We don't serve alcohol to minors here."
"I'm nineteen, I've been drinking (and worse) since I was eleven, and I'm not gonna be telling anyone. Unless, you have some cop friends snooping around here," Cilla said, crossing her arms.
"Yeah? Is that so?" Piper said offhandedly.
"We have Diet Coke in the fridge," Phoebe suggested.
"Sorry, Striptease Barbie... I don't need anything diet," Cilla said snidely.
Phoebe did a perfect impression of a carp.
"That was a good one," Chris chuckled. Phoebe regained composure and glared at him.
Cilla heaved a sigh; "So, since I'm a prisoner here, can you all at least introduce yourselves, or do I have to keep making up nicknames?" She hopped onto the counter, crossing her legs.
"I'm Paige, and Striptease Barbie over here is my other sister, Phoebe," the youngest Halliwell sister said.
"Right. I'm Cilla. Why am I here again?" Cilla asked, her foot bobbing up and down.
"I don't know. You might want to ask your kidnapper," Piper said, cocking an eyebrow.
Cilla leaned back, tilting her head back, looking at Chris, "Why the hell am I here again, Psycho?"
"I really didn't think it through that far," he replied, ignoring the 'psycho' part.
"Well, that's comforting. Some angel you are," she muttered as she sat back up, crossing her arms again, her foot continuing to bob.
"Well, obviously, she's a witch. She would have froze otherwise," Paige said.
"She could be a fire-starter, you know," Phoebe offered.
"No, I'd have sensed it if she was," Chris said.
There was a collective pause.
Phoebe blinked a few times before tilting her head to the side and asking, "And just why are you two soaking wet?"
Chris and Cilla looked at each other and then down at themselves, as if realizing for the first time that they were still wet from the sprinklers.
"What the hell were you two doing?" Piper said with a raised brow, "Playing Marco Polo?"
"That little witch set the freaking sprinklers off," Chris said, a bit flustered, pointing an accusing finger at Cilla.
"Dude! I am not a witch!" she snapped.