Thanks once more for the great reviews.
Nerca: Just one question: how long does this drag out? ― Don't worry, it only 'drags out' for three more chapters after this one, which includes an epilogue.
As I recall, this chapter was GreatOne's favorite. :D
A Journey of Discovery ― Book Three: Prism
Chapter Fourteen
Leia woke early the next morning. She thought she was the first one up, until the strong odor of meat cooking directed her light steps into the none-too-sterile galley, where she found her brother making breakfast. Raising up slightly on her toes, she exchanged a warm hug and kiss on the cheek with him.
"Luke! I didn't think anyone would be awake yet."
"Lando's up and left. Something about checking out a potential business opportunity. And Chewie's outside. I think he's guarding the Falcon. We aren't exactly berthed in a legal docking bay."
"And you?"
"I was hungry," Luke said, pausing to check the nausage that was cooking in the micro-heater. "Haven't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday."
"But Han told me that Mara ordered dinner last night for the both of you, too."
"Didn't have time to eat it," he said sheepishly, with a slight hitch in his voice. His blue eyes quickly darted to meet Leia's before turning back to inspect the brewing caf.
Luke always had been reluctant to discuss his personal life, Leia thought to herself. Apparently this hadn't changed now that his personal life included a wife. "Is Mara still sleeping?"
"Taking a shower."
"Did you both sleep well?"
"Yes." Luke hesitated, an apprehensive look suddenly filling his features. "You didn't ... sense us, did you? We were shielding as best we could, but we weren't sure—"
Leia lay a hand on Luke's arm in reassurance. "Luke, it was a simple question ― nothing devious or prying. I didn't sense anything." She gave him a wry smile. "I was rather preoccupied myself."
Luke nodded in reply, then busied himself with his food preparation. Leia's thoughts turned to the many nights she'd been 'preoccupied' with Han in her apartment on Coruscant, and she suddenly wondered if Luke had sensed her emotions on those occasions. She gazed at her brother's back as he removed the nausage and popped a couple of breakfast crispcuits into the heater. Of course he could sense her emotions ― that's why he would disappear from the apartment whenever Han stayed over. One of the unexpected disadvantages of Force-sensitives living close together.
Leia cast a critical eye over her brother as he placed the plate of nausage on the table. He was wearing his black trousers and dark undertunic – virtually the same outfit he had on last night. Luke looked up suddenly, frowning at her.
"Something wrong?"
Leia shook her head. "Just trying to reconcile myself to the fact that my brother is now a married man." She smiled warmly. "It suits you."
"Thanks ... I think." Luke grinned shyly. "It feels good, knowing I have Mara now to share my life. I hope you realize that I wasn't trying to talk you out of marrying Han."
"I know, Luke." Leia filled two mugs of caf and handed one to Luke. "Believe me, I've been giving it a lot of thought, especially after finding out you took the plunge."
"Han wasn't upset with you after you turned him down?" Luke said, keeping his head lowered as he blew on his hot drink.
Leia shook her head. "No. I don't think he wants to pressure me. In fact, he didn't even mention the subject of marriage last night." She took a sip of the bitter brew, then added two sweetening cubes. Han always had the caf machine set too strong for her tastes, and Luke apparently hadn't changed the settings. Over the rim of her mug, she caught Luke staring at her.
"Park yourself, brother," Leia ordered, "and spill whatever's on your mind."
Luke slid onto a stool opposite where Leia sat at the tiny galley counter. "I really am sorry for not telling you sooner about Mara and me."
"You apologized last night," Leia said, reaching across to clasp his hand.
"But you're still ... upset with me."
Sometimes it really was more a curse than a blessing when your closest relative could read your every emotion. "I'm not upset," Leia said. "More ... disappointed. Disappointed that I missed my only sibling's wedding. Disappointed that you knew all about Mara's background but kept it a secret. Disappointed that you pleaded with us to trust her, yet you couldn't trust us enough to tell us the truth from the beginning." She squeezed his hand. "Luke, you lied to us. You lied to Mon Mothma."
Luke bit his lip before stammering out a reply. "I ... I couldn't chance the New Republic arresting her, or worse. Mara was totally controlled by Palpatine; she couldn't help—"
Letting go his hand and leaning back, Leia raised her own hand to stop him. "I'm not the one you have to convince."
"Now that you've gotten to know her better, do you trust her?" Luke's hopeful expression proved how important it was to him that Leia accept his wife.
"Trust her? Yes, I suppose I do. But I wouldn't say that I've gotten to know her very well. Mara keeps herself rather closed off."
"I know," Luke said. "We're working on that. She is opening up, at least to me. Each day we're finding new aspects of each other's personalities." His gaze drifted in the general direction of his cabin. "Every day for the rest of our lives will be a journey of discovery for us, in one way or another."
"Don't forget all the eye-opening secrets the rest of us have recently learned," Leia added.
"I guess this trip has been one of discovery for everyone." Luke chuckled lightly to himself. "Mara and I even found out new things about the Jedi Order after arriving on Lorrd ― things we really didn't want to know."
"What kind of things?" Leia asked, her curiosity piqued. Something Jedi-related that Luke didn't want to know?
"Well ... For one thing, we discovered that the Jedi of the Old Order didn't allow marriage in their ranks. Apparently they felt it was necessary to keep their attention focused only on their duties."
"And you were already married before learning that," Leia pronounced, wondering what Luke's reaction to that revelation had been.
"Doesn't matter." He smiled with an air of complete contentment. "I wouldn't have acted any differently."
Leia let his joy fill her being. "How long have you been in love with her, Luke? Since the day you met her?"
"Maybe a few days after I met her." Luke's eyes lit up, brighter than Leia had ever seen them. "She's so amazing, Leia. I can't believe how lucky I am."
Speaking of lucky ... Leia recognized the approaching footsteps even before her favorite Corellian swaggered into the galley.
"Look who I found wandering the corridors." Han stepped aside to let Mara enter. Much to Leia's relief, Han's attitude toward both Mara and Luke had softened considerably, no doubt due to the lecture she'd given him last evening on learning the facts before making accusations ― a lesson she vowed to remember herself.
"I wasn't wandering. I was following the dubious aroma of farmboy's cooking."
With a mild curse, Luke jumped up to rescue his steaming crispcuits. He waved a pair of tongs in Mara's direction. "You're the one who had cooking lessons from Merta."
"Merta?" Leia questioned, wondering at the strange name.
"Cooking lessons?" Han sat next to Leia, grinning at both newlyweds. "Do we have a gourmet chef in our midst?"
Pulling her makeshift robe closed tighter, Mara poured herself a cup of caf before sitting down. "Not unless it's one of you," she said with a deprecating snort. "Luke and I may starve if we have to rely on our own cooking."
"Hey, I resent that." Luke popped another quartet of crispcuits into the micro-heater, careful to set the counter this time. "She only married me for my culinary skills," he whispered to Han and Leia with a playful wink.
Han let loose a hearty laugh, having been at the receiving end of Luke's cooking more than once.
"Speaking of marriage..." Leia glanced at Mara, who was sending her own enigmatic glances Luke's way. Leia gave her brother a piercing look. "I want to hear what this life-or-death situation was that prevented you from waiting until you returned to Coruscant to get married."
"I never said it was 'life-or-death,'" Mara interjected, who avoided Luke's frown by studying her caf mug with a peculiar fascination.
"Start talking, little brother," Leia said. She could tell that Luke and Mara were conversing silently before Luke relented with a resigned sigh.
"Well, you see, these villagers we were staying with were very superstitious," he began. "And they were having this Winter Festival thing." He paused, as if unwilling to continue.
"And the highlight of the festival was to grab two strangers and make them marry each other?" Han ventured, obviously enjoying Luke's discomfort.
"No," Luke said. "But, well, they had this notion that a couple had to get married each year during the festival in order ..." He paused again, then finished in a rush. "... in order for them to have a good harvest during the following spring."
Han guffawed loudly, and Luke gave him a hard frown.
"They believed it," Luke declared. "You shouldn't make fun of other people's customs."
"But wouldn't they want a man and a woman of their own village to have this honor?" Leia probed, fighting her own urge to snicker.
"There weren't any engaged couples available at the time," Mara put in.
"And we felt we owed the villagers for all the hospitality they'd shown us," Luke added.
"So you two heroes came to their rescue!" Han slapped one hand on the tabletop as he roared with laughter once more.
"Luke, tell me you didn't get married only because of this festival ritual." Leia felt her stomach tighten with worry. She remembered believing him and Mara when they swore nothing had been going on between them on Coruscant. Surely they wouldn't sacrifice their futures just because of the superstitious beliefs of strangers.
"No, Leia, no," Luke hurriedly assured her. He looked at Mara and smiled. "I had already asked Mara to be my wife."
"Really, Leia," Mara continued. "It was only the timing of the wedding that we pushed up. We truly wanted to be married." She clasped Luke's hand, squeezing it warmly before turning to smile at Leia. "I wish you had been there. It was a beautiful ceremony."
"So do I," Luke said quickly. "I'm so sorry it didn't work out."
Closing her eyes a moment, Leia tried to imagine how the two of them looked as they made their vows to each other. She then narrowed her gaze directly at her brother. "Just don't expect me to forgive you for making me miss the most important day of your life."
"Perhaps..." Mara hesitated, briefly glancing at Luke before continuing. "Perhaps Luke and I could get married over again when we reach Coruscant. Recreate the wedding."
Leia looked at Mara with surprise, then shook her head with a wan smile. "No, it wouldn't be the same."
Mara looked at Luke, and once more Leia knew they were talking through the Force.
"How about we recall the ceremony in our minds, and let you witness it that way?" Luke offered. He looked at Han apologetically. "I don't think we can project it to you, but we can say our vows aloud so you follow along."
Han nodded in understanding, then slipped one arm around Leia's shoulders. Leia watched Luke and Mara as they turned to face each other, clasping hands tightly.
Not knowing what to expect, Leia gasp lightly as the image of a small country chapel filled her mind. A crowd of people was seated inside, each of them with visages of friendship and happiness. Through Luke's memories, Leia could see a vision of Mara wearing the same white dress that she'd discovered in Mara's bedchamber. And through the magic of the Force, through Mara's mind that image merged with one of Luke, handsome in a black suit edged with a beading of fur. A corner of Leia's thoughts wondered if Luke had his outfit hidden in his own suite.
An elderly man stood before Luke and Mara, reciting, in heavily accented Basic, a tender reflection about the meaning and importance of the couple's hands. But it was when Luke began quietly saying his pledge to Mara that a tingling of warmth spread through Leia's being, and she felt Han tighten his grip in shared emotion.
"Mara, the love I feel for you is boundless and everlasting. I will cherish you and care for you all the days of my life. Will you receive me as your helpmate, your confidante, and your lover?"
"I will," Mara replied softly. "Luke, you are my love and my life. I will cherish you and care for you all the days of my life. Will you receive me as your helpmate, your confidante, and your lover, as I have accepted you?"
"I will," Luke returned, his voice nearly a whisper. He and Mara continued projecting the ceremony to Leia, ending with a glimpse of them climbing into a primitive-looking sleigh.
Opening her eyes, Leia marveled at how the normally dingy galley was aglow with the love and devotion given off by the newly married couple. Even Han seemed transfixed by the joy in the air as Luke leaned forward, giving his wife a gentle kiss. Leia didn't realize she had been crying until she felt Han reach over and gently wipe the tears from her cheeks.
"We should have a celebration when we return to Coruscant," Leia said, smiling as Luke and Mara turned to her.
"To announce their marriage?" Han asked.
"No." Leia reached over and softly stroked Han's face. "To announce our own engagement."
Han's expression changed from surprise, to elation, to an overwhelming sense of love and relief. He engulfed Leia in a passionate embrace, kissing her more enthusiastically than Leia could ever remember. Leia herself could barely remember any of the excuses she'd talked herself into using when she'd first turned Han down. This was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The man she wanted to have children with. The man she wanted to marry more than anything else in the galaxy.
When Leia finally pulled back reluctantly to gulp a much-needed breath, she barely noticed that Luke and Mara were gone.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
As Han trailed Luke, Leia, and Mara through the crowded back streets of the royal compound, he couldn't help but notice how upbeat and energetic the workers were. Military and civil crews worked side by side with throngs of servants and volunteers to clean up and repair the damage wrought by the Argazdan attack. The hum of the conversations everywhere was accentuated by rapidly swinging arms and constantly shifting facial expressions, fondly reminding Han of Fiolla, the Lorrdian woman he had met during his early travels in the Corporate Sector.
Leia slowed her pace slightly and flashed Han a gentle smile as he reached out and clasped her hand, his fingers brushing lightly over the sparkling ring now adorning that tiny hand. Fiolla was a distant memory, a pleasant diversion; Leia was his life, his future, his love. Leia had glowed with joy when she'd shown the ring to Luke and Mara after breakfast. Mara's reaction had been much more responsive than her past behavior ― she'd given Leia a rather gracious embrace while murmuring "I'm happy for you." Luke had paled noticeably as Mara examined the token of Han's pledge, but he recovered enough to give his sister his usual genuinely warm hug.
Chuckling to himself, Han recalled how anxious Luke had seemed the previous day to be rid of the piece of jewelry. Luke's joke at the time that he didn't want Mara to find it and get any ideas had seemed a bit strained to Han. As Han now glanced at Mara's bare hand, he realized in hindsight that Luke hadn't gotten a ring for his new wife, so she might indeed have thought the expensive bauble was for her. That's what the kid got for rushing into marriage without consulting with him first, Han thought. It was just too bad that Mara apparently didn't have any relatives for Luke to go groveling to for permission.
Han's eyes widened with interest when a brightly garbed young man hurried toward their group, singling out Mara with a gush of effusive bowing and smiling.
"Mistress Mara!" the man cried. "I was so worried last night when I could not locate you again." His dark eyes flashed toward Luke. "And Jedi Skywalker, the savior of our honorable ruler and his family. My people owe you both a debt of gratitude which can never be repaid."
"Hello, Jayce," Mara said evenly, stepping just far enough to the side to be out of arm's reach of the man, who was now eyeing Han and Leia apprehensively.
Han didn't need the Force to see how Luke's demeanor had changed the instant this Jayce person appeared. If anything, Luke's tone was even more tightly controlled than Mara's as he made formal introductions.
"The Princess of Alderaan!" The aide swept to the ground in a formal bow. "And the esteemed General Solo! I was informed late last evening of your arrival, but I did not expect to see you in the middle of the scene of our attack. On behalf of Lorrd, I welcome you to our humble planet."
"Thank you, Second Aide Jayce," Leia returned, politely allowing her hand to be kissed in greeting. Han could now understand Luke's attitude. Did Lando have a brother here?
"The Regent has moved his family and staff to his southern villa. New quarters are being prepared there for you and Padawan Jade," Jayce continued to Luke and Mara. "His Highness asked me to locate you and invite you to join him for an informal luncheon. You and the general are also most welcome to attend, Your Highness," he added to Leia. "Arrangements can be made for suites at the villa for you as well, if you wish."
"We would be honored to join the Regent for lunch," Leia said. She momentarily glanced at Han. "We'll let you know if we'll be requiring overnight accommodations."
"If you'll excuse us then, Jayce," Luke put in, "we'll gather our belongings from our suites."
"Of course, of course," Jayce said, nodding. "I shall send a crew to accompany you."
"That won't be necessary," Luke assured him. "Oh, and Jayce," Luke's voice softened, "I am sorry about Prime Aide Meend."
Jayce's expression turned sorrowful. "He was truly a wonderful man. No one will be able to take his place."
Luke had already related his finding of the unfortunate Prime Aide, who sounded like he had been nothing like his foppish subordinate. Han briefly wondered if Jayce would inherit the prime position now.
"I shall arrange transportation for you to the villa," Jayce continued. His dark eyes focused on Mara. "I pray this cowardly attack by our enemies will not diminish your opinion of our magnificent planet. I look forward to many days of showing you the wonders of our extraordinary culture."
"The attack hasn't affected my opinion whatsoever," Mara said smoothly, keeping her arms crossed. Han noted how Mara's veiled comment went right over Jayce's head, though Luke seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face. In Han's opinion, Mara was lucky to have the freedom to express her noticeably sarcastic opinions, unlike Leia, who usually had to maintain a diplomatic façade even when her thoughts were decidedly undiplomatic.
"I am relieved to hear that," Jayce said, flashing Mara a sickeningly sweet smile. "I will leave you now to attend to details for the luncheon, and I will send a transport to the ambassadorial annex in approximately one hour."
"That will be fine," Luke answered, nodding in agreement as Jayce bowed repeatedly before finally leaving.
―――――
"I thought that guy would've given up by now," Han commented to Mara, remembering the exchanges that had gone on previously between her and Luke about Mara's overly enthusiastic admirer. "Does he really think there's a chance you will magically decide to make Lorrd your home?"
"Oh, I don't know," Mara surprised him by saying. "Much more cold and calculating minds than Ke'lor's have used similar schemes to lure someone to their side." She gave Luke a pointed look.
"And sometimes they nearly work," Luke murmured back, a slow smile spreading across his face as he reached up and squeezed Mara's shoulder lightly.
Han shot Leia a confused look, and she shrugged in return.
Repair crews were busy in the main corridor of the building, allowing just enough clear space for the foursome to squeeze their way through to Luke and Mara's suites. In the lead, Mara paused when she reached Luke's mutilated door and questioningly raised one eyebrow.
"Don't blame him," Han spoke up. "I needed in, really bad."
Mara snorted in undisguised amusement, then ducked through the opening. The others quickly followed, pausing as they glanced around at the damaged room.
"Skywalker, what is it with us and suites wrecked by aerial bombardments?" Mara said, casually picking up an overturned vase.
"Like I said last time, maybe you and I just aren't cut out for—"
"All right, you two." Han swung his arms out to halt the conversation. "Suites? Plural? Luke, you've never been in a suite before this one." He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Have you? And what was all that babbling outside about schemes to lure people?"
"Luke, are you keeping more secrets from us?" Leia asked.
"It's nothing really, Leia," Luke answered. "Nothing important."
"So then why not tell us?" Han said.
"It has something to do with how you met Mara, doesn't it?" Leia guessed. "You never did give us a satisfactory explanation of that."
Mara and Luke exchanged glances, and Han knew they were conversing through the Force again. Luke soon gave a resigned sigh and motioned for everyone to take a seat.
"Just remember, you asked for it," Mara said as she nonchalantly cleared debris from one end of the long couch, making room for Luke to sit next to her.
"Don't tell me ol' yellow eyes put you up in a fancy apartment like this?" Han's forced laugh quieted when he saw that no one else cracked a smile. Mara especially didn't seem to appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood. The thought occurred to him that it would be beneficial to his health not to use nicknames for her former employer.
"Actually, it was a bit bigger, except it only had one bedchamber," Luke answered evenly.
"But the bed was bigger," Mara put in, "and so was the whirlpool tub." She winked slyly in Luke's direction. "Big enough for two."
Luke rubbed one hand across his face. "I don't think we need to go into that much detail," he murmured to his wife.
Leia's mouth dropped open slightly, and Han remembered her telling him of Mara's bragging about sharing baths with Luke during his captivity. "So you actually ...?" Leia trailed off, as if she didn't really want an answer to her supposition.
"How about we start at the beginning of this holodrama?" Han said, leaning back and crossing his arms.
"The beginning ... well ..." Luke's expression seemed to turn inward, as if he were backtracking along the path of his Imperial captivity. "I told you already what happened on the Death Star – what I remember of it. When I regained consciousness, I was alone inside a tiny dark cell. I figured out that I was probably on Coruscant, from the billions of life-forms that I could sense. It wasn't too long after I awoke that I got a ... roommate." His gaze flickered toward Mara, their eyes meeting in obvious affection.
"Palpatine ordered me to assume the role of a Rebel prisoner," Mara continued the story. "A role that I privately thought was beneath me. But he was my master, and I had to obey without question." She glanced again at Luke, then looked back toward Leia and Han. "I had always been taught that Jedi were the epitome of treachery and deceit. I felt ... insulted ... that I had to pretend to be friends with one of them."
"But why ...?" Leia began, her mind apparently trying to decipher Palpatine's plan.
"I was to become friends with Luke, so that when I was subsequently tortured, he would become enraged enough to embrace the dark side. I had assumed, wrongly, that the torture sessions would be shams." Mara reached over and clasped Luke's hand. "My assumptions about Jedi soon crumbled, too."
Leia studied Luke's downcast expression. "You said that on the Death Star, Vader and the Emperor tried to take advantage of your faith and love for us."
Luke only nodded in reply as Leia reached out to pat Luke's leg in sympathy.
"They considered Luke's compassion for others to be a weakness to be exploited," Mara said. She squeezed Luke's hand tightly. "I now consider it to be one of his greatest strengths."
"So what happened next?" Han asked. Two women fussing over Luke was apt to go to the kid's head. Time to get this tale back on track. "It doesn't sound like you were in any luxury suite, and apparently you didn't cross over to the dark side just for some female companionship."
"No, Han." Luke shook his head. "I figured out Mara wasn't with the Rebellion fairly quickly." He glanced at the woman by his side. "Even though she was a pretty good actress."
"How did you figure it out?" Leia asked.
"I probed her," Luke replied simply, then backtracked when he saw his sister's shocked expression. "I mean, with the Force. I tried to read her mind, but she had me blocked. Which told me she was a trained Force-user, and that she was hiding something."
"He wasn't quite as naïve as I was counting on," Mara admitted. "I really thought that my master was going to execute him when Luke was dragged from the cell the second time."
"I thought so, too," Luke said quietly.
"The second time?" Han looked at Luke expectantly. "What happened the first time?"
Luke shrugged. "Just a little chat regarding my future."
Han could tell Luke didn't want to talk about his chat with His Royal Ugliness, so this time he didn't press for details. "So then they put you up in one of the palace suites?"
"Yes."
"It was plan B," Mara supplied.
"I didn't know what the Emperor had in mind," Luke said. "Then Mara showed up at the door, and I really didn't know what was going on." He finally cracked a smile. "She literally threw herself at me, and she was dressed like ... well, different than she looks now."
"It was strictly business, Skywalker." Mara let a small grin escape also. "I wasn't the least bit attracted to you."
"Uh-huh." Luke's eyes glittered in amusement. "I hope you didn't go that far with your previous assignments."
"And how far was that?" Han teased, feeling pleased when Luke predictably blushed.
"Not far," Luke said quickly. "We told you, nothing happened."
"I wouldn't say nothing," Mara said with a smirk. "We slept together."
"Hold on." Leia looked back and forth at the Jedi couple. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Just what was this plan?"
"I was supposed to seduce him over to joining the Empire." Mara smiled at her husband. "Instead, he seduced me into joining him in escaping."
"It wasn't easy," Luke said.
"No, it wasn't," Mara agreed. "The Emperor was my life. In a warped kind of way, he was like a father to me. Even after I decided to help Luke escape, I wasn't going to go with him. Not until ..."
Han and Leia waited as Mara trailed off. It was Luke who took up the tale.
"Palpatine was going to execute Mara if she didn't induce me to turn," Luke said.
"Or if we didn't at least—"
"We don't have to discuss that aspect of Palpatine's scheming," Luke cut her off quickly.
"Why not?" Mara grinned wickedly. "Leia, you'll be pleased to know that he refused to cooperate."
"Cooperate in what?" Leia asked, confusion plainly showing on her face.
"It wasn't funny," Luke interjected.
"No, it wasn't," Mara agreed, her tone turning solemn again. "It would've been disastrous."
"What would've been disastrous?" Leia asked again.
"Palpatine wanted us to conceive a child," Mara said. "A Force-strong child that he could manipulate."
Horror filled Leia's countenance, and Han shared her feeling. The chances of Luke and Mara producing an heir that would be incredibly strong in the Force were not odds that Han would bet against. If the Emperor then did away with the parents and raised the grandchild of Vader to be another Sith, who knows what hope of salvation there would have been for the galaxy.
"It took some doing for me to convince Palpatine that we were making the effort," Mara said. She frowned to herself. "In fact, I'm not really sure that I did convince him."
"Thank goodness your suite wasn't monitored," Leia said. "Or he would have had proof that you weren't doing anything."
"Actually, there were holocams in the suite," Luke said. "Except in the refresher."
"We simply went in there every day and claimed to ... you know," Mara said, grinning. "Everything we did in the other rooms had to look like the real thing. Luke did cooperate in that part quite willingly."
"So let me get this straight." Shaking his head, Han scooted forward in his chair and directed his attention to Luke. "In between bed-hopping, and tub-hopping, and who knows what else, you convinced a fanatically loyal Imperial assassin to turn on her admittedly insane master, and then to fall madly in love with you."
Luke gazed back with the best sabacc face Han had seen in ages. "What can I say? Some of us have it, some of us don't."