Warnings: Language, implied heterosexual sex

Thanks: to smiley, forgetfull and kayinchan for reviewing, you guys rock!

Notes: I'm not entirely happy with the end of this chapter, it cuts rather abruptly to keep this thing rating 'T' rather than 'M'. Also, don't hate me yaoi fans, drunken stupid things happen, consequences have to be dealt with, that's the point of this fic.

Attention Seeking Behaviour.

I don't know why I drank so much that evening. I can tell myself it was to calm myself down after my irrational irritation at Shorya's story, to drown my sorrows over the whole of what was still an uncomfortably fresh break-up with Quatre, and to keep Duo company. But I certainly didn't need to on the last count, Hilde was far more able than me to distract Duo from his worrying over Wufei's whereabouts. I maintain, in my defence, that Shorya kept me supplied for the last hour, after I realised I really should stop buying myself. At some point I realised I'd not had dinner. Neither had Duo, but he'd been snacking on Nacho's and pickles and other concoctions from the snacks menu. My troubled stomach wasn't keen to partake. I continued to drink instead. I think I danced, I know I was groped by at least three women as I stood at, or later on, leaned heavily against, the bar. I talked utter crap. I talked to Shorya for over an hour once she had me off guard enough to respond. I enjoyed it.

I'm glad Quatre wasn't there. I still cared what he thought of me, as I discovered at some point in my drunken haze. I was concerned then, over whether I'd been lying to myself about how I was taking our separation. But then Shorya dragged me back to our table and I had to concentrate on keeping my drink in its glass and not tripping as we wound through the closely packed bodies at the bar.

Hilde and Duo were just visible on the dance floor. I'm not sure if what they were doing was technically dancing but they looked pretty happy doing it. I sat down heavily in the chair I'd draped my jacket over. Rather than her former seat around the corner of our little steel table, Shorya sat on me, straddling my lap. This close, I could smell the gin and lemon on her breath and feel how warm she was through her sheer tights and my steadily tighter trousers. She linked her arms about my neck clumsily, and giggled.

"You're so sullen, lighten up!" She shouted louder than necessary over the base's throb beating from the live band on stage. Reaching behind her for her drink, she took a gulp and grinned at me broadly.

"What's to be afraid of? I'm single, you're single, I don't bite…unless that's what you like…?" she spoke into my ear, her hand running down my back and up under my shirt. Mmm, that was good, I didn't stop her.

"I'm gay," I reasoned with what little coherence I could scrape together. That was right, wasn't it. I didn't get attracted to girls. But this girl didn't seem to understand that. Neither did my body. I was a little surprised, given how much more alcohol I'd had compared to what I usually allowed into my system. I remember thinking 'I'm not really drunk, but I could be, I've had enough to drink to be drunk, so it's okay to do this. Because I could so easily be very, very drunk right now.' The lighting was dim, and the air thick. I felt strangely safe here, away from prying eyes yet clearly surrounded by others, all absorbed in their own worlds, all separated by only the thin veil of booze and darkness.

So I didn't resist when she kissed me or when she groped at my trousers, wriggling her hand down my boxers as they began to feel uncomfortably tight. And I moved an unsteady hand up to cup her breast. It was warm and pliant, responding immediately when I ran my thumb lightly across her nipple, large and satisfying to squeeze. I'd never felt a woman like that before. She gave a start and grinned at me, eyes suddenly more focused and demanding. Something more stirred in both of us and I dove my tongue into her waiting mouth as she thrust her hips forward to rub her pelvis roughly against my groin.

"For fuck's sake getta room!" came a slurred growl in my ear as Duo was suddenly draped heavily over my shoulder, almost touching foreheads with the woman I was kissing. He reached round Shorya, as she leaned back away from me, breaking our kiss, and grabbed my drink. With a bright eyed grin he downed it, I couldn't even have told him what it was at that point anyway. Before I could voice my objection, he had pulled Shorya to her feet, not looking entirely steady himself.

"Come on Mr. Clown. We're going home, Hilde's called a taxi." My bubble of safety burst; home suddenly seemed like a good idea and I stood up and grabbed my jacket. Putting it on was just a little too much effort, so I just held onto it as I gallantly put an arm round Shorya's marginally steadier shoulders, and we headed to the doorway on the winding path Duo wove, to join Hilde by the fence outside.

The cold night air did little to cool or clear my head, though it did bring Shorya's nipples to stand erect and starkly out from the stretchy deep navy material of her top. Normally I don't notice that kind of thing; normally I don't spend much time looking at girls' chests. I think it was halter style, possibly, I'm not an expert on women's clothing, I admit. I draped my jacket around her, as her little sheer cardigan did nothing to keep out the chill. I wanted our bubble back.

"How gentlemanly," she murmured, hugging me tightly and brushing up against me under the pretext of getting warm. The taxi arrived sooner than I'd have liked, and Duo and Hilde occupied the back seat, Shorya following them and was held there, lolling against Hilde, who smiled vaguely at her. That left the little fold down perch behind the driver for me. Duo seemed to be trying to hold in his mostly liquid dinner, but he wasn't that far gone I noticed, as he check his phone again and sighed. I should have reassured him, but I didn't feel like talking right then. The girls muttered to each other, interspersing their discussion with giggles and ominous looks, while I pondered whether I was going crazy. All signs tonight pointed to the likelihood I was, along with the possibility this was all subconscious backlash from Quatre and my previous 'relationships' in general. Men were evil, I concluded in a decisive tone that would make feminists proud.

"We know dear," Hilde responded and I blinked. I think she was the least drunk of all of us, probably why she'd thought to call a cab. I checked the cabby's display behind me, it was nearly two in the morning. I hoped they didn't have work later this morning. And I'd said that out loud. Fuck, I was completely out of it. Thank you to Hilde then.

"You're welcome, Trowa," came her lightly teasing response. I closed my eyes and concentrated on keeping my thoughts more internal. Shorya was watching me from under heavily lidded eyes as she 'hmm'-ed to Hilde's latest comment. She wanted me. She demanded nothing except my body in return. It seemed like such a bad idea, what she was suggesting with that look alone. I suppose it was. Go my alcohol soaked brain.

The taxi pulled up outside Hilde's, I realised with relief that 'home' meant here, my place was far away, and we staggered up the stairs, leaning on each other and the concrete wall. Hilde paid the driver, I made a mental note to give her something for that in the morning. She found her key to let us in. Flipping on the light switch in the hall, she headed for the kitchen, letting us stumble in and do complicated things like taking our shoes off. Hilde's good like that, she'll get you home safe but she won't mother you. She's a lot different than my first impressions of her after the war.

Duo made his way unceremoniously to the lavatory to throw up. Shorya made a disgusted face at the sound, but thought of Duo being violently ill didn't seem to turn her off me in the slightest. She draped herself over me, running her long nails down my back again and I couldn't help but shiver with desire. Hilde could be heard getting a glass of water and something from a drawer, probably antacid for Duo.

"You can have the spare room, the one on the right," she called, obviously assuming so much in that simple statement. She was right to though. I can't say I went unwillingly, I failed utterly to resist as Shorya plunged her tongue as far into my mouth as she could. Stepping clumsily, hastily backwards, she pulled me into the dark room, working on my trousers' buckle as she did so. We moved together to collapse onto the queen-size bed, not bothering to push back the covers.

I had the overwhelming urge to see her naked and we didn't speak, occupying our tongues with each other's bodies as we removed our clothes in the dim street light that flowed through the partially closed curtains. As our eyes adapted we could make out our faces again. It hardly seemed to matter. I'd left Quatre, I definitely wasn't over him, I needed something now and this was on offer. But I wished that it was more than what it seemed. I couldn't be needed like Quatre had needed me, not again, but being wanted was wonderful. And I wanted her so much then, wanted to see her, wanted to pleasure her and to make her want me more.

I fumbled for the bedside light and we both squinted in the sudden brightness. I reached for my wallet on the floor by the bed and, with the little dexterity I still possessed despite the drink, fished out a condom, there from habit rather than forethought.

"I want to see you," I said, and reached down her dark body to caress her. She didn't reply, just smiled at my touch and gave a little sound of pleasure. I ran my hands through her wavy hair, glinting white in the pale street light. I gasped as she dipped her head to nuzzle my chest.

I gave her everything she asked for, hesitantly, inexperienced as I was at first; then with more confidence and passion. As the night sky began to turn a dull grey, we collapsed into the damp sheets, satisfied and spent.

To be continued…

Please don't hate me! Or at least read the rest before hating me. This is not the end and is still essentially a yaoi fic, promise. Like I said, people do stupid things whilst drunk, plus I personally think that relatively few people are exclusively gay or straight. That said, I don't think Trowa's going to find a female to spend his life with. Not in this arc anyway!