Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, neither Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, or any of the amazing characters associated with either show belong to me. I also don't own the story line - that is taken from gidgetgirl's Scorned Lover Challenge (details below).

The Scorned Lover Challenge (A massive throwback)

After Xander leaves Anya at the alter and Tara finds out that Willow has spelled her, the two become unlikely friends... between Anya's former vengeance demon status, and Tara's magical abilities, the two scorned lovers attract a ghost who also mourns the man she lost: Darla. Dru, still stinging over losing Spike to Buffy, casts a spell to try to bring Grandmummy back to life, resulting in all four scorned women: Tara, Anya, Dru, and Darla, being turned into small children.

Requirements:

- Each of the children must, as children, want to seek out the lover who scorned them...ie, little Tara must like being with Willow, little Anya must bond with Xander, Darla with Angel, and Dru with Spike.
- The four little girls forming a 'club.'
- A little cat fight.
- Someone kicking an adult in the shin.

Bonus:

- Little Tara developing telepathy.
- Tara talking about her mommy and daddy.
- Tara and Dru bonding.
- Darla being overprotective of Tara.
- Anya teaching the others about sex.
- Anya having a little 'boyfriend.'
- Anya and Darla fighting.
- Darla bossing adult Buffy around.
- Dru still having her visions.
- Darla still having super strength
- Little Anya being able to grant wishes.

Author's Note: To Faeries Twilight – Poor Spike. Good idea, though.

Chapter 4.

The next evening.

"Why's the sky blue?"

"How the bloody hell should I know?" Spike scowled.

"Do puppies and kittens go to heaven?"

Angel shrugged. "They must. I didn't see any in Hell."

"If a tree falls on top of somebody and crushes them until they're dead, does it still make a noise?"

Both vampires stared at little Darla.

"She's your ex, mate." Spike told Angel with a grin.

"Is it okay to 'sploit people so's you can make a profit?" (No prizes for guessing who asked that)

"When will the stars come out to play?" Drusilla asked mournfully. "The sky's sad and lonely without them."

"Did the devil make bunnies to punish people for being bad?"

"What's . . ."

"Whoa!" Spike held up a hand to halt the constant tirade of questions being fired at the two unfortunate vampires by all four of the little girls. "What's with all the questions, nibblets?"

"Willow said that you can only learn if you ask questions." Tara said softly.

"And we want to learn." Darla glared at Spike, daring him to criticize her protégée.

"Well from now on you do the opposite to what Willow tells you." Spike commanded, wanting to put an end to their constant questions.

"Really?" Darla gave him a smile that could only be described as feral. "Because she told us to be good for you."

"No, wait. . ."

"But if you don't want us to, that's fine by us, isn't it?"

The other three little girls nodded solemnly.

Angel turned to glare at Spike. "Have I mentioned how much I hate you?"

Fifteen minutes later.

"I think purple's Spike's colour." Darla decided, after careful consideration.

"Green." Anya sighed dreamily. "Dollars are green."

"What do you think, Tara?" Darla looked across at the other girl. "What's your favourite colour?"

"Yellow." Tara all but whispered.

"Colours. Pretty colours, lots of pretty colours." Little Dru chanted happily.

"What are they planning on doing to us?" Spike asked Angel in a hissed whisper.

"I don't know. Just remember, whatever happens, it's your fault."

"Alright, gentlemen." Darla smiled at her two victims. "Time for your manicures."

"Manicure?" Angel knew that Darla was evil, but this was extreme, even for her.

"Not a chance." Spike glared at them. "There's no way you're painting my sodding nails."

In response to a nod from Darla, Tara's lower lip trembled and her blue eyes started to fill with tears, an example Drusilla was not long in following.

Within a minute, all four little girls were sniffling tearfully.

"Fine!" Angel said hastily, feeling like the biggest bastard in the world. "You can do our nails." /At least we can wipe the nail polish off before Buffy and the others get back. /

"Makeovers too." Darla demanded, striking while the iron was hot.

"Sure," Spike tried to console them. "Just stop crying."

The four five year olds, their eyes now miraculously dry, beamed up at the two unhappy vampires.

"So," Darla said, taking the lead as usual. "Who's first?"

"He is."

"He is."

"Dru, please, I am begging you, not pink, anything but pink."

"Black then." The dark haired child smiled absently at Spike. "Black for the black knight of the night."

"Put pink stickers on his nails." Anya suggested eagerly. "Like little hearts."

"Is Buffy going to get mad at us for using her make up?" Tara asked timidly. "Are we going to get into the trouble?"

"Don't worry." Darla said reassuringly. "That bitch isn't going to do anything to us."

"Darla!"

"Oy! Language!"

Darla ignored the two vampires and their rebukes, rummaging in Buffy's drawer until she found what she was looking for.

"I know you like hair gel," She said sweetly, addressing Angel. "So I'm going to make your hair look great."

"Darla . . ."

"Don't worry, darling boy." She patted his head as though he were a puppy. "I'm going to take care of you. The glitter's going to look great."

"Glitter . . ."

Before Angel could say another word, Darla had applied a generous handful of hair gel liberally laced with blue glitter, in his hair and was massaging it into his scalp so thoroughly that it would be a month before all traces of the glitter disappeared.

"Hey, girls, I've changed my mind." Spike announced desperately. "Go back to asking us questions."

"Where do babies come from?"

"Uh . . ." Although Spike was well versed in the subject, he wasn't about to share his knowledge with a group of five year olds. "Ask Angel."

"I know." Little Anya announced importantly, abandoning Spike's nails in favour of sharing her pearls of wisdom with her friends. "When a man and a woman love each other, or else when they're orgasm friends . . ." She paused, glaring up at the two unfortunate vampires. "This is private."

"Do you mind?" Darla shooed them away imperiously. "Go watch cartoons or something."

"What's an orgasm friend?" Tara asked shyly, half raising her hand.

"I'm out of here." Spike declared, half running out of the room before he was completely creeped out.

Angel wasn't long in following.

"Now," Anya beamed at her pupils. "What was I saying?"

"You were going to say what an organism was." Drusilla reminded her.

"An orgasm." Little Anya looked pained by the other child's ignorance. "An orgasm is a lot like a dollar . . ."

"Do you think they're alright by themselves?" Angel looked up at the ceiling above him, as if expecting it to cave in at any minute. "Should we stay up there to keep an eye on them?"

"Not unless you want them to decide we need a haircut." Spike glanced at his companion. "On second thoughts, you'd better head up there."

"Funny." Angel scowled at him.

Three hours later.

"Everything alright in here?" Buffy asked as she closed the front door behind herself, Willow and Dawn.

"Fine."

"We're good, Slayer."

Angel and Spike were in the living room, watching an old horror film and commenting on the inaccuracies.

"Are the girls asleep?"

"Sound asleep." Spike confirmed, deeming it better not to mention that they had only managed to get the girls to bed within the past twenty minutes, after he and Angel had been forced to sit through the Pokemon movie.

"They weren't any trouble, were they?" Willow asked anxiously. "Was Tara okay?"

"Best of the bunch." Angel said, with perfect truth.

"And you didn't have any problems?"

"None." Angel hid his gaily manicured hand behind his back.

"So you'd like to watch them again tomorrow night."

Buffy took a sadistic pleasure in the looks of terror on the faces of both ensouled vampires.

"Kidding."

TBC.

Please keep up the reviews. Next chapter: The Scoobies' Day Out.