Tucker's Rap
Sung to the tune of MC Chris' "Fett's Vette"
Cruisin' Bloody Gulch,
In my chick-pickin'
tank,
War's still on',
I'm the grade A playa!
Story's
'bout a pimp,
Blue historians,
Deep in debate,
Buffet
plate at Bennigan's!
I'm da rhyme renegade
Sure to
masturbate,
First and second base,
I won't hesitate,
Got
a job to do
And Church's the guy that delegates
Got something
against me
I'm someone he really hates
I don't give a
fuck!
I'm after hot chicks!
For all I care,
You can be infested with ticks!
Gotta get laid,
By myself is no good,
When
there's no shop,
In your neighborhood!
Think you can mess?
I got an eagle's
nest!
In my backyard,
'Cause I'm so fresh!
I'm a
stupid degenerate,
Defender of the Blue guys;
I'll take your
Momma, hot!
With an extra plate of fries!
chorus
My
rifle, is gone,
I'm Tucker, the Don!
I make the jokes, I eat
the yokes,
I'm a star that has shone!
wiggy wiggy wiggy whack
I'll mess up, yo'
place,
Helmet over my face!
I want that prize,
With a plate
of fries,
'Cause my food
I don't like to waste.
Get down
I'm a dumb-ass
Wrapped inside a bad-ass,
Get inside
your Puma,
I'll find your fat-ass!
From here, to
there,
To shear, to share,
I'll give what you want,
But
there's gonna be a cost
My name is Lavernius
I know my shit
is tight,
Squeeze with all your might,
I'll just put up a
fight!
Got telescopic guns,
Sniper rifles are the shit,
You
still don't get the jist?
Your ass was made to kick!
Hot
chicks are made to hit!
You think I give a shit?
Yer mama is a
bitch!
Her pussy's like a fucked up fish!
You just
flipped the switch!
Yo'Mama will be dissed!
I'm licking her
fat lips!
You know I got the gift!
I got the sluts up my butt,
Waitin' to scratch that
itchy itch!
So I'll let you get back inside
Your little
Wart-Hog!
Give you a head start!
'Cause I'm the sportin'
kind
Not to mention damn fine!
The sneaky cock I hide inside!
You better take a dive!(dive)
Or else pray to stay
alive!('live)
Try to slip me a five,
'Cause I'll lap up that
fine bribe
To the beat of a different drummer,
Ride my Tank
like a Hummer,
Be like Tex, be a hunter,
I'll put you
six-feet under!
As in six
feet,
Blues already got you beat!
Backin' me up, gonna blow
up,
Any attempt to defeat!
We gotta, hot car!
It's
four payments under par,
Hand it over to my old friend,
At
Blood Gulch Bar!
He used to
carjack,
Now he's a barback,
Just please be nice,
And cut the guy some slack.
As for me that's not an option,
Can't say that with
more clarity
Me being pitied would be like,
Caboose in love
therapy!
Chorus
Fuck yo'momma up the
bon-bon,
Faster than the Autobahn,
Or a motorbike in Tron,
Do
the deed and then I'm gone!
Caboose has a hissyfit,
Sheila just won't
take it,
Over a muffin, their love unfolds,
My loves can't be
legit!
Back in the day,
When I was da bomb,
Living life
in the fast lane
Now I'm the Don!
My dumb streak
tweaked,
I became a basket case,
So this space ace,
I'll
split yo face, poste haste
Took up a stupid cause
Called
the Dumb wars
'Cause life's not all about,
Girls and
cars,
Fucking up girls,
In fucked up beds,
I'm
not a stupid head,
Or gay like the Reds!
I'm large and in charge,
With a face so dark,
A
cold black heart,
That's been ripped apart!
The Reds wish
that they,
Had a dick so hard,
'Cause they can't stuff
cocks,
In a pussy far far!
Call me cool-guy, 'cause I'm the new guy
Who's ready to fuck
you, guy!
I no longer have to be shy!
I'm a straight up
G!
With a bitch named Steve!
All you sucka wannabe's,
Can
take your leave!
Chorus (slowed)