A/N: I have never written for Gravi before... I'm not sure if I ever will again. This fandom is really more crack than the actual series sometimes.
For Misura's one line challenge, "This is my glaring dream."
Pairings: this ended up more or less gen, though it's kind of Tohma/Sakano (requested); hints of one-sided Tohma/Mika, one-sided Tohma/Yuki, and Yuki/Shuichi
Disclaimer: Gravitation is property of Maki Murakami-sensei. No copyright infringement intended.
Just a Dream
For years, Sakano had watched Tohma from the shadows. He had watched him rise to the top of the musical world, then watched Tohma's unprecedented takeover of the music industry. He didn't know what attracted him to the man, but continued to watch and found himself wanting to be shadowed within Tohma's powerful charisma.
When NG Productions started up, Sakano quit his job as a high ranking producer for the company he was working in to start over at the bottom of the ladder. Slowly and tediously, he worked himself up, doing everything he could to attract Tohma's attention. When he was promoted to a position he could finally be of use to the blond musician, Sakano thought that had been the happiest moment of his life... only to have his illusion shattered as soon as he walked through the door.
Tohma was not the type of man Sakano thought he was. Yes, he was just as brilliant, if not more so, but he had a cold, ruthless edge that Sakano had not expected. He had never once seen Tohma smile.
Oh sure, there were plenty of times Tohma smiled, distant and masking any thoughts going through the man's head, but he never actually smiled out of happiness. Maybe he had nothing to smile about. Sakano wondered if he could ever make a smile light upon his boss's face.
Sakano knew he shouldn't have been having those kinds of thoughts about Tohma. After all, he was a married man. But even his wife could not hold his attention for more than a few minutes, as he found, looking at her, her wistful and sad eyes fixed upon her husband. Tohma only had eyes for Eiri Yuki.
Yet still, Sakano found himself working harder, trying to gain Tohma's approval. Many late nights he found himself in the office, finishing off paperwork instead of being home with his wife and daughter. He often wondered why he didn't feel guilty for it, and ironically, found himself guilty for not being guilty at all. Still, he pushed those thoughts out of his head as so they didn't interrupt his work.
On one of those late nights, Tohma passed by his office. Pushing open the door, he asked with genuine surprise in his voice, "Sakano-san, what are you still doing here? It's late..."
Startled, Sakano almost knocked over his neat stack of paperwork, though he caught and balanced it before the papers all toppled over. "I-I had to finish some paperwork," he stuttered, still recovering from the shock of Tohma's unexpected visit.
"Ah," Tohma replied. "You don't have to today." He smiled that serene smile Sakano found himself hating. "I'm only paying for eight hours of work, after all." The amusement rang in his voice, though there was something deep and sorrowful about it.
"I-it's fine," Sakano mumbled. "I only have a bit more to do."
Tohma nodded and replied, "Don't work too late," before he opened the door. Just before Tohma walked out, Sakano caught a glint of hidden sadness in his eyes and found the word "Sachou" pass through his lips before he could think. Tohma turned around curiously. "Yes, Sakano-san?"
Sakano blinked, just then registering what he had said. "A-ah, uh... are you okay, Sachou?" he asked pitifully, since the word had already slipped out through his defense.
"I am fine, thank you," Tohma replied, the insistent mask of a smile on his face. "Why do you ask?"
Sakano found himself hesitating for a moment, but continued anyway. "You looked sad." Tohma's eyes flew open, shocked at Sakano's statement. "Sorry," Sakano found himself stuttering out. "That was out place for me to say."
Tohma shook his head as he walked over to Sakano's desk. "No, you're right," he replied as he pulled up the chair and gently sat down in it. "I was just hoping no one noticed." Leaning back on the chair, Tohma sighed. When he spoke again, his voice was just a bit off, tinted with bitterness.
"Mika-san and I had a fight this morning," he began slowly, careful not to let his voice express too much emotion, "about Eiri." Sakano suddenly found himself touched, that Tohma would confide in him like this. Or perhaps Tohma only wanted—needed—someone to talk to at the moment, but at the moment, Sakano could care less.
"She said that I thought about him too much, and I should stop and pay more attention to more important matters." Tohma looked uncharacteristically lost for a moment. "She said I should move on, and that way, I'd be able to see the things in front of me... like her."
For a moment, Sakano felt himself sympathizing for the poor woman. After all, he knew how selective Tohma's vision could be. "Maybe she's right," Sakano heard himself say. Tohma's eyes narrowed slightly to that comment. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. But by that, Sakano could feel a spark light his anger. Tohma wasn't always right, and someone had to tell him. "Yuki Eiri-san already has someone!" he found himself yelling. "He's happy with what he has; he's moved on from the past! Isn't it time you do the same, Sachou?"
Tohma's fists tightened, but his face morphed into an almost sadistic smile. All the anger and courage in him floated out at once.
"There are some things you can't understand, Sakano-san," he said casually though in a voice colder than Sakano had ever heard it. Tohma raised himself off the seat, pushed the chair back, and walked around Sakano's desk to where he was sitting. "Eiri isn't just anyone. And even after all of that, even if I have no chance with him, no matter what, I can't just forget him." Tohma leaned down slightly and his blonde hair brushed against Sakano's ear. Sakano felt his whole body stiffen. "Though I know it's impossible, it isn't something I can give up on, because," he breathed seductively, so eliquently repeating the words of the writer's lover, "this is my glaring dream."
Tohma straightened himself and Sakano let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "It's not something you can plainly ignore," he explained sadly. Sakano watched as Tohma walked towards his door. Inside, he felt his heart break.
Turning around, Tohma stopped as he touched the doorknob. Softly, he asked, "Why do you always work so hard?"
Sakano was numb. He wasn't sure what Tohma wanted to hear. "I thought it would make you happy," he replied, his voice emotionless.
Tohma looked at him softly. "You don't have to, Sakano-san; I am happy, I really am. Eiri is happy, and his happiness means the most to me. Since he is happy, how could I not be?"
Sakano raised his eyes slightly and looked Tohma in the eyes. "No, you're not, Sachou. People who are happy smile. You never smile." His voice was still deadpan.
"I smile all the time," Tohma replied, looking back at Sakano, his features even. "I smiled many times today."
"But you don't ever really smile." Sakano's voice rang with such conviction, a confidence so rarely seen in him, that even Tohma had to pause for a moment.
A small smile graced his lips, but it wasn't one of happiness. The eyes that matched his smile, unwaveringly fixed on Sakano, were filled with sadness. It was the first time Sakano had ever seen Tohma really smile. "No, I suppose I never really do, do I?" His voice was small and devoid of that usual power everyone had become accustomed to. Ice rushed through his system. Sadly watching his boss, Sakano felt his heart shatter into even smaller pieces.
"Good night, Sakano-san," Sakano heard Tohma say as he opened the office's door. "Thank you for all your hard work." The door closed behind him with a click.
That night as Sakano waited at the bus stop, unfinished paperwork still on his desk, he couldn't help but think about the events earlier that night. He wondered why he ever tried so hard to please the other man, to get him to smile. After all, the only thing it had done was shatter another illusion he had of the man he loved.
owari
A/N: Wow. That was really angsty. I hope I filled Misura's request correctly. I ended up putting a lot of "side" couples with it, but I tried to remain my focus on the requested couple.
A few notes, 1) Sachou is supposedly the name Sakano calls Tohma (I think). I'm pretty sure it means "boss" in Japanese. 2) It's probably likely Sakano takes the bus to work, since few Japanese people own cars like Americans do. Gas is expensive and parking space limited in Japan. Think back to Gravi 1 when Shu was surprised that Yuki owned a car. Car is a symbol of prestige and wealth, and though Sakano works for NG, I doubt he'd go the trouble to buy and/or drive a car to work.
I hope everything was alright and Misura enjoys this!