Growing Part 9:
Brianna – The art of being!

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"We heard her…"
Andy told Piper as she re-entered
"I'm sorry… I tried my best…"
"I know... thanks... these days Prue's the only one able to get through to her..."
"I'm done breakfasting, dad..."
"alright... umm... how about you take a shower and change before we go back to hospital..."
Anna nodded and got up. She was just out of the door as she turned around again and leaned on the doorframe
"you know what's not fair? Mags behaves off... and she can be with Lily before I can... I hate this... it's always Mags or Lily... or damn charges!"
"Anna..."
"don't Anna me... dad... it's true... you and mom are permanently worried about Lily... cause... she's the one like permanently ill... and she's the youngest... Mags... you and mom permanently talk about... cause she hates you... what do I have to do to get your and mom's attention? Get myself killed by some demon or something!"
she asked kind of calm and then ran upstairs
"oh my god... sometimes I think... Prue and I did something wrong..."
"you didn't..."
"right... when did Mel tell you the last time she wants to kill herself?"
"she didn't exactly say that..."
"but she meant it..."
"want me to talk to her?"
"no... Thanks Pheebs... but... this is something... Prue and I have to handle... thanks for your guys help anyway..."
Andy said lowly and orbed to the hospital. Meghan looked up and saw Andy alone...
"I need to talk to you"
"spare your breath"
Mags answered
"princess... he talked to me..."
Prue said smiling
"what's wrong..."
"four eyes..."
"can you watch Lily, Mags?"
"sure..."
Prue smiled and got up... walking with Andy outside.
"What is it? Demon?"
"Anna just threw into my face... that we don't love her... and asked me, if she had to get killed by a demon... before we'd notice she still existed..."
"what? Andy... I... can't handle this right now..."
"I know... me neither... but... you have to talk to her... you're a woman... you know what to tell her... I see that with Mags..."
Prue started to rub her forehead
"you okay?"
"you ask me if I'm okay? Andy... we have three daughter's... one just told me she'll never talk to you one single word anymore... the other... almost died last night... and the last wants to get killed... or kill herself... or whatever else... and you ask me if I'm okay?"
"I'm sorry... I... just think... she needs you right now..."
Prue nodded slightly...
"to our bathroom"
she said sighting walking into his arms. Andy looked around and then orbed unnoticed out again.
"Go... back to hospital... and... try not to... to fight with Mags... okay? Please..."
Andy nodded and pecked her
"sorry"
Prue nodded and watched him orb out. She got herself some pain killers to avoid the pain of the upcoming migraine and then went to her bedroom and got a box out. She took it and walked to Brianna's room. She knocked gently on the room
"go away..."
"Anna... it's mom..."
Brianna didn't answer and so Prue entered. She found Anna sitting on her desk-chair and drawing
"can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
"dad send you..."
"kinda... can we talk anyway?"
"do we have to?"
"yeah..."
Prue said nodding...
"come on..."
Prue said and sat down on the few giant pillows, which were placed in one corner of Anna's room as replacement for a couch or something. Anna sighted and walked over to her mom... sitting down with her.
"I know... it seems unfair to you... I really do..."
"I don't think you know, mom, really..."
"I don't?"
Prue asked and reached around her neck. She removed her necklace and handed it to Anna.
"mom... what's..."
"that's the necklace your grandma gave me... a day before she died... she said... it... shall always protect me... I... practically... saw her dieing... and when I realized, what had happened... I wished I was the one who had died... it was the first time I thought of suicide..."
Anna looked at her mom, kind of shocked
"the first time honey..."
Prue told her and opened her box, then handed Brianna a picture. It was Meghan's ultra sound picture...
"what's that?"
"your big sister..."
"what's that supposed to mean?"
"when... when I lost Mags..."
"you were miserable and dad and you split up... ya...ya..."
"no...I didn't want to go on living with this pain... if your grandma... and aunts... and dad wouldn't have been there... I probably... I don't know what I had done..."
"I have no boyfriend... no grandma... my parents are always busy with other things... and so are my sisters..."
"okay... 1:0... You're good... but wait..."
Prue said and got the lyrics of a song out of the box and showed it to Anna
"I know that song... "
"Really? Did you know... that your mom almost jumped from a bridge, cause of that song?"
Anna looked at her mom and then back down at the song
"aunt Phoebe and I were in a bad accident. She had told me she hated me... and I made a huge mistake. I screwed up... aunt Phoebe ended in hospital. I felt like... whoever I loved... was cursed..."
"Mags told me once about this story... why you are weird on... some day... in august, I think"
"6th of August... yes... I really was cursed, but I didn't know back then..."
"1:1, I'd say it's a draw..."
"yet..."
Prue said smiling
"you have more?"
"yeah..."
Prue answered nodding
"I don't think I want more..."
"well... I want you to have less such memories than I have... so I think I'll shock you some more..."
Prue looked through things in her box and found what she was searching. She handed Anna the little crumpled paper...
"what? Mom that's a spell..."
"really?"
Prue asked smiling
"it's the truth spell... I wanted to know... if your dad was able to deal with me being a witch..."
"he didn't right?"
"he said he wanted a normal life... no witchcraft"
Prue said and handed Anna a tiny piece of stone glued to an etiquette of a whine bottle.
"What's that?"
"a tiny piece of your father's gravestone..."
"dad's funeral..."
Anna whispered
"yes... that you know... but what you don't... what no one knows... is that this was the closest attempt of suicide..."
"what did you do?"
"I went to dad an my place... had some... sleeping pills... and... whine..."
"that's not true..."
"yes it is... I was unconscious half a day... then some stranger found me... he was for a walk with his dog... who somehow must have felt there was something wrong..."
"aunt Piper and... phoe..."
"don't know..."
Prue said trying to smile, then grabbed for magazine with pictures she made inside
"Maggie Murphy... a charge of mine... she had a darklighter trying to convince her to do suicide... I came into the way... and so he tried on me..."
"darklighters do that?"
Prue just nodded and then got a crumbled and burnt page of the book of shadows out of the box
"and that you already mentioned... when I found I was cursed... I did something like... suicide... trying to handle this on my won... that makes it... umm... I think 6:1?"
Brianna looked down at all these things... pictures... memories...
"why did you never..."
"too little strength... too much people who love me... good guardian angel... I'm not sure myself... but... I think mostly... your dad and... You and your sisters..."
Prue told her and waited a few seconds, to see if Anna wanted to say something
"still think I don't understand?" Prue finally asked. Anna shook her head
"I didn't mean to say this, mom... but... everything's so screwed up... you and dad... always..."
"I know... and I'm sorry... I know I wasn't really there for you lately... maybe even for the last years... and I'm sorry. I was a bad mom to you... and I'm seriously... disappointed in myself... I thought I had you three handled the same... I always let your father handle you, cause I thought you and him were more similar... but I never actually realized... that you need a woman to talk to as well... that you're much more like me... than I ever thought..."
Anna looked at her mom, not believing what her mother just said. She looked into her mom's eyes and tried to search, if she meant what she just said.

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Did you hear that? I... Brianna Trudeau... am like my mom... no one ever told me something this precious!
The reason why I always fight with Mags is not Chris. It's... that I'm jealous on what she and mom have... that everyone tells her, she's just like mom. Mags always laughs and tries to push it off. She hates being compared to mom, cause everyone thinks she'll make the same... mistakes mom made... she doesn't want to live up to mom... not in her grates and not in her behaviour.
I always felt honoured, when mom let me take one of her cameras to make some pictures. I never got, why no one got I'm like mom. No one ever told me that... no one ever told me what I wanted to hear my whole life from someone. And now mom did... mom herself told me...

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"I'm so sorry mom... I shouldn't have..."
Anna cried and moved towards her mom hugging her tightly, crying into her chest. Prue smiled and just crawled her back, kissing her hair gently
"never... think about something like that again, alright? Understand?"
Prue asked, holding Anna close to her. They sat like this for a long while and Anna slowly clamed down and enjoyed these few minutes all alone with her mom
"dad loves you... Meghan loves you... Lily loves you... your aunts love you... your uncles do... and your cousins... so never ever say something like that again, okay?"
"what about you?"
"what?"
"you numerated so many persons... but not yourself..."
"can't you answer this on your own?"
Prue asked. Anna smiled a bit
"I love you too..."
Prue smiled and kissed her temple
"the whine thingy... stays under us, understood?"
Prue asked. Anna nodded
"alright... then I'm gonna go to my bedroom now... close my eyes a few minutes and you go showering..."
"mom?"
"yeah?"
"can I have your camera and make a picture of this all?"
"if you show no one"
Prue said smiling
"Anna shook her head and smiled
"alright... I leave those things with you... bring them to my room when you're done with showering and you're set to go to hospital..."
"thanks"
Prue smiled juts weakly and then grabbed the box and dragged herself to her bedroom. Anna saw how tired her mom looked and decided to take herself time with doing everything. She first went to her desk and changed her picture a little. She was smiling inn that picture now as well.

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Mom's great, isn't she? I don't think there's a better mom on the world than my own. Though my aunts are good mothers too, I don't think any of them can beat mom.
But, oh well. You want to hear something of me, right? My life's not that interesting. I mean... I'm 13... What can you do much at the age of 13?
Whether I'm at school or do something... mostly nonsense... with Chris or I... make pictures... of any kind.
I draw with every pencil or crayon or any other kind of paint mom and dad buy me... I take pictures, if mom allows me to take one of her cameras, or am at the museum mom used to work at, where I look through the collection they got. I draw all kind of things... family members... landscapes... make ground plans of houses... imagine clothes... graffiti... I'm happy when I can have a pencil in my hands. but, the most fun, is still, making ice sculptures... okay that might sound weird, but... it's kind of a part of my powers.
My thing is water. Anything with it... I can do steam... I can do ice... I can do water... and with all of that I also can form any figures I want with a pool of water and then like 'freeze' it... dad always freaks at me when I do that, cause using our powers, too much, could ease the cloaking spell they cast on us, just for safety, as mom always says. But, it's just pure fun to do it, and I'm not really wasting any crayons or other kind of paint... what means this won't cost money. The only disadvantage of it is, that the sculptures never stay in shape for long, since it's after all 'just' ice. The water thing, is the only power I got all by myself, all the rest I share with my sisters. Therefore, I really hate Chris. Chris has all individual powers while Matt has only whitelighter and Mel only aunt Piper's powers. When we asked why, dad and uncle Leo explained, that since Matt and Mel are twins, but fraternal twins, the powers, which actually would be united in one baby, or identical twins like Emma and Emily for that matter, now are divided into the single individual babies again. Sounds complicated... but actually isn't... if you are born in this family you grow with the madness... that's what aunt Piper says a lot...
like aunt Piper was, I'm the middle child and as you just could see... this isn't always easy. It was easier. a few years back... when Mags wasn't trying to get an all independent woman... that the attention is always on Lily is... clear. She's the youngest... I'm not really jealous on her.
all in all I love my sisters... I just hate... them being so complicated...
Chris somewhat feels same... everything turns around the twins... and before the twins... his parents were almost getting a divorce. so... we kinda always have something to talk about. Lately... our ways are going a little apart. He's busy with training for the new season of football. He spends a lot of time with his dad.
Mags and I sometimes spend time at the mall. It's cool. We talk about boys and... clothes... and... other things... girls' stuff, how Mags would call it.
sometimes... I think our parents are slowly... trying to... put something between me and Chris... maybe they're afraid of us ending up as a couple... like mom and dad did. but... I don't think so... I'd never want a younger man... they're so... childish.
talking about men... did you know I feel kind of sorry for dad? He tries his best to be the best daddy ever. I think he tries too hard... but... that's another story...
why I feel sorry for him? Well, he's the only man in a household of women. Three of them being at least once a month pretty moody with their period stuff going on... soon Lily will follow... and then it'll seriously be hell for dad.
I think we all love dad, deep inside. We loved him as kids. We always were all over him when he was home. We used him as our playground, climbing all over him, trying to beat him in wrestle kinda fights... I think... as soon as he accepted, that we're not his babies anymore, and our hormones settled down... our lifes are not the ones of teenagers anymore... we'll love him again.
Right now... I feel like it's impossible to talk to dad about things. But I also have to admit, that I can't imagine a place I feel safer than in dad's arms.
When I burry myself in his chest and he wraps his arms around me, I feel like... nothing can hurt me... nothing can affect me... like nothing matters anymore. I love dad hugging me. I can forget everything in his arms.
I just Hope... I find one day a man like dad. I think... when I find the man... in whose arms I feel this... safe... protected and... home... that truly must be love.

After showering Anna grabbed her mother's things she still had in her room and also got her mother's camera. She went to the bedroom of her parents and opened the door slowly. She found her mom asleep on the bed. She smiled a little and put the things her mom had given her back into the box. She laid the camera, she had gotten herself, and the necklace of her mom on the nightstand and then covered her mom up. She laid a note onto her father's pillow. With big letters and completely nice decorated stood there...
"we love our mom"
Anna smiled and looked back at Prue. She didn't want to wake her. Her mother had been awake longer than any of them... she needed some rest and so she decided to go alone to the hospital. And so, a few second later she had already disappeared into purple lights...