"…and always remember children, twist and jab!"

"Twist and jab," mumbled a few of the students around him, and Remus heard a snigger to his left which he instantly identified as Sirius. He didn't look up however, but reloaded his quill with ink, scribbling down in his notebook twist and jab.

"You may now test out the vanishing charm on the potatoes before you. Begin!"

Remus looked up. Everyone around him had started chatting amicably to each other, and Flitwick himself had disappeared behind The Daily Prophet, seemingly presuming no harm could come to anyone in such a lesson. Also spotting this, James took a fortifying swig of coffee before placing it on the table with a satisfied thunk.

"What did he just say?"

Sirius, on the other side of Remus tutted loudly, wagging his finger at James. "Really, James, you should have been listening!" he shook his head in what was obviously meant to be a disapproving way, then turned to Remus. "What've we got to do Remus?"

"Vanishing spell, he said it just now," muttered Remus vaguely, fixing his gaze on the potato. He took up his wand, concentrating hard. Swish and jab, he thought to himself, Swish and jab.

In one controlled movement, he swished and jabbed with his wand, and cried out "Evanesco!"

The potato flickered for a moment, then half of it vanished. The other half, however, remained obstinately visible.

"Look at it!" Sirius chuckled, taking up his own wand, "Ok, my turn!"

He expertly flicked his wand, ending in a kind of jab, and said firmly, "Evanesco!"

The potato vanished.

Remus blinked. He looked at the place where Sirius's potato had been, then looked back at his half one. He let Sirius's whoops of triumph wash over him, and smiled blandly, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling of disappointment in his stomach.

He snatched up his wand, feeling sudden determination blaze inside him. "Evanesco!" he snapped, jabbing the air around the potato. It again flickered for a moment, then disappeared entirely. Smiling truly he looked up, but no-one had noticed. Sirius was now pointing and laughing at Peter's weak attempts to vanish his potato (he had somehow managed to turn it blue) and James hadn't even touched his, but was instead indulging in the rest of his coffee, a look of content, dreamy satisfaction on his face.

Remus sighed, staring idly at his wand. It looked sort of blurred this morning, and it hurt to look at any kind of bright light. Thank Merlin Sirius had a hangover and insisted on sitting in the shadows as well. Everyone was so used to him screaming in an entirely over the top manner whenever sunlight fell on him they took no notice if Remus winced at the light.

Shaking himself out his reverie, he glanced up at the clock, and noted there was over 45 minutes still left of the lesson. Deciding he may as well have another go, Remus casually nicked James's potato from under his nose, but as he stretched across the desk his cut served him a viscous twinge, making him drop the potato with a sharp intake of breath.

James looked up at once. "Did it bite?" he asked jokingly, draining the remains of his coffee and gazing at the fallen potato suspiciously, then turned his gaze on Remus, who merely sat, feeling the pain of his cut subside, then weakly tried to turn his pained face into a smile.

James didn't smile back. "You don't look too good, mate," he said abruptly, running his eyes down to Remus's arm once more, "You look really sickly."

"Thanks!" Remus tried to laugh, but it all that came out was a throaty squeak. His heart was hammering furiously under his robes. James's calculating brown eyes seemed to be looking right through his sleeve as though he could see the bite-shaped wound. Hastily he stood up, and knocked over the stool he was sitting on.

"You know, you're right, I do feel sort of ill," he tried to say lightly. It wasn't a lie either; his head was throbbing and he really was starting to feel quite nauseous. "I think I'll head to the Hospital Wing."

James looked surprised. "Um, sure." He frowned, and as Remus swung his bag over his shoulder to go up to the front, he felt his eyes on his back. Nervously, he approached Flitwick's desk.

"Er, Sir?" he asked the newspaper quietly, "I'm not feeling well, may I be excused to go to the Hospital Wing?"

The newspaper rustled around for a moment, then Flitwick's eyes appeared over the top of it, looking at him with mild curiosity. "It's Lupin isn't it?" he asked squeakily, and Remus nodded, feeling his cheeks redden slightly as he saw those eyes widen in sympathy.

"Of course you can." Flitwick told him kindly, attempting with difficulty to turn a page in his paper. As Remus turned to walk out the class, he called after him: "And I hope you feel better soon!"

A few people in the front row fell silent, staring at Remus striding quickly past them. Out the corner of his eye he saw James muttering to Sirius, then the pair of them glanced simultaneously over at him. Desperate to escape all the accusing stares and whispers, he quickened his pace even more. Once he was out the class, Remus broke out into a run, which he immediately slowed with a gasp of pain.

Slowly, he walked down a narrow flight of stairs, holding onto the rail. As he neared the bottom, a flash of Flitwick's sympathy filled gaze came into his mind, and he frowned.

Couldn't have been more patronising if he tried, he thought angrily to himself, pausing for a moment to clutch at his trouser leg, through which he could feel the bandages starting to unravel. Oh, you poor thing, fancy being a werewolf! And I'm not the one who can't even flick through a newspaper without difficulty…

A nearby portrait gave him an odd look, then called out: "Are you alright, lovie? Anything I can help you with?"

At his silence, she carried on. "Woman of the world, me. Not much I couldn't help you with!"

Remus wanted to carry on walking, to get the infirmary quickly but he suddenly felt exhausted, almost winded, like someone had just kicked him in the stomach. Putting his back to the woman, he leant against her frame, hoping this would signify he wasn't going to talk.

Evidently she wasn't good with hints. "What is it, a girl? I'll bet it's a girl, its always a girl with a young man like you. So what's she like then? Pretty?"

Remus closed his eyes, trying to block her out. But her voice was like a dentist drill, high and whiny, puncturing any attempts at ignoring her.

"All you young people these days, always so vain about looks! I remember in my day, we went by character and nothing more!" She paused, waiting for Remus to respond. When only silence met her, she grew impatient, and shrieked out, "Hey! Don't just ignore me, you disrespectful cretin, I'm trying to help you!"

Remus snapped his head up, feeling hostility flaring inside him. Whipping round, he yelled at the portrait, "What the hell do you know? You're nothing but a god-damn PAINTING!" Not waiting to hear the woman's shriek of indignation, he turned and strode up the corridor, trying very hard not to limp and sincerely hoping nothing else would stop him before he got to the sanctuary of the Hospital Wing.

0o0

"...been acting odd ever since he came back from that visiting his mum, and I know he's hurt his arm."

Sirius's dark eyes looked completely perplexed as he pushed away a dark tuft hair from falling in his vision. "How d'you know he's hurt it?"

James gave him a scathing look. "Coming from someone who's hurt his own, er, limbs numerous times during Quidditch and never admitted it, I should know."

The confused look turned instantly into a grin. "Oh ho! So now the truth comes out! I knew you were faking it when you said you was fine in that last match against Slytherin!"

James's ears went rather pink. "No, I wasn't hurt then, just a bit bruised…"

But Sirius cut him off, laughing loudly. "A bit bruised? Yeah, I saw you limping when you were in the changing rooms…"

"Limp? I did not limp!"

Within three seconds the pair of them were arguing noisily, the thought of Remus driven completely out of James's head.

The look on Madam Pomfrey's face when she saw Remus's leg might have been amusing had he not been in so much pain.

"You should have come straight to me!" she ranted angrily, carrying over a steaming hot bowl of some magical solution to where he lay on a hospital wing bed. Plunging a sponge angrily into the sugar pink liquid, she handed it to him, her lips pressed together so tightly they were near white.

"So irresponsible, your body's weak enough as it is! Don't just sit there holding it, stupid boy, hold it to your arm, I'll do the leg…"

Deciding it was better not to argue, Remus silently pressed the sponge to his arm, though he had felt a tiny flare of indignation. So he was weak, was he?

"Goodness knows how much pain you could have been in, any longer and this wound would have started to fester! How I missed it the other night is unbelievable!"

Quietly, he tried to absorb himself in cleaning away the congealed blood but Madam Pomfrey's voice kept on digging into him like the portrait had done. There was a difference this time, instead of winding him up he only felt a sudden strong urge to break down and cry.

Flashes of James's and Sirius's faces came before his eyes every time he blinked, happy, carefree, acting as stupid as they wanted because they didn't have to be responsible for themselves.

He heard James's voice once again: You don't look too good, mate. You look really sickly...

And then, just as clearly he visualised their faces before him, the unyielding truth of his curse showing blatantly in their eyes…them shudder when they looked at him…their voices tight and forced around him…

Making excuses not to be with him…

Talking about him…

He saw them, the three of them, Peter, Sirius and James, all flinching away from him as they found out his secret, leaving the room every time he entered it…

"Good heavens, Lupin, I thought you would be more sensible than this!"

He jumped guiltily, and hastily continued cleaning his wound with renewed vigour. A new determination had filled within him, a lonely, desperate determination.

Don't let them find out. They must never, ever find out.

But how? He questioned his own head desperately, how can I keep them from finding out? They're bound to notice at some point.

The answer came before he even finished the thought.

Simple. Just don't be their friend.

He felt as though he was falling into a long, black hole of oblivion, but he listened to that sinister little voice in his head, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

Just don't be their friend. Make them hate you. It's not too late. You've only been here a month.

Life without Sirius making stupid jokes to him…

You can start today. Make them hate you today.

"Alright Lupin. You're patched up now, but I want you to stay here a little longer. Your temperature is really alarmingly high."

Madam Pomfrey pushed him back onto the pillows then tapped away, tutting and muttering to herself. He lay there, clear blue eyes suddenly dimmed to darkness, gazing at the ceiling with nothing but his own torturous thoughts for company.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Oh yes. Another chapter. I wasn't too pleased with this one, it was a bit too jumpy for my liking, but I've edited it and stuff.

Anyway. I would just like to say thank you a thousand times to all my reviewers. I couldn't believe how many I got!

Till next time, everyone, and don't forget to review and make my day…

Mooncheese xxx