Remus's stomach was churning.

Every time he thought about the coming night he broke out in a cold sweat. His heart seemed to have left his chest and was now pumping its way in a furious circuit round his head.

He looked down at his hands, clenching his knife and fork. They were white and shaking. He didn't know if he would be able to make it through today.

Don't be so stupid, he snarled to himself, gripping the cutlery harder, Of course you can make it through today. You're not an invalid. Pull yourself together!

On the other side of the table, Sirius was laughing, tousled hair falling about his face as he shook his head. Next to him, James chuckled along too, sniggering over a piece of toast. Their words and their laughter fell into a background buzz with Remus. He felt sick. He had to get out.

He breathed in, willing himself not to faint. He was being ridiculous. Completely over-reacting.

"Remus? Oh, Reeeemuuuuus," James's hand waved as though in slow motion in front of his eyes. "Earth to Remus. This is Mission Control. Do you read me?"

Remus looked round, forcing a sickly smile onto his face. James cocked his head to one side, looking at him.

"You were miles away, man. What was you thinking of?"

Remus stared at him for a moment, his mind slowly trying to make sense of James's words, before he finally realised what he had said.

"Nothing much," he muttered, turning away. James's bright, happy face was too painful to look at. The full volume of the Great Hall suddenly smashed over his head with the force of a sledge-hammer, and he winced. Why did everyone have to be so loud?

Clumsily he reached forward, groping for a knife. The salt-shaker fell over with a sharp th-wack on the table, but he barely paid it any notice. Just as his fingers finally touched upon the knife, he found himself fading away into yet another slipstream of thought, the background buzz of noise falling away…just falling away…

How would he get away tonight? James, Sirius and Peter would surely notice…no, of course they would notice! They weren't fools. He could try and put a memory charm on them…his mother had to do that once, to their next door neighbour…His mother's kind, weary face swam before his eyes. For a moment her face stayed frozen, a mere picture, but then her photographic eyes seemed to soften. They looked at him.

"You don't put memory charms on your friends, Remus…Remus…"

"Remus! Remus!"

He leapt up in his seat, startled. James was shaking him roughly by the arm, staring at him, wide hazel eyes panicked. For a moment Remus frowned, puzzled, but as someone's sharp, piercing voice rang out behind him, he soon discovered the source of James's anxiety.

"Up you get, Lupin. And you, Black. We are all going to visit the Headmaster right now."

He was hauled out of his place, then dragged half way across the Hall before he realised what was happening.

They had been caught.

0o0

Dumbledore's office was pretty classy, James thought to himself as they all filed in through the polished, oak door. Hidden way better than just behind some old painting…and with a revolving staircase thrown in too. The Gryffindor common room has nothing on this, he thought.

Pity he wasn't in the Gryffindor common room right now, though. If he was in there now, then he would be sitting on one of the over-stuffed armchairs, talking with the guys, laughing over the success of their prank. It would have been great.

He glanced round at the other three, standing grouped behind him. Peter was staring down at the carpet, chewing his nails, eye muscle going twitch, twitch. He looked up at James, and his face revealed fear. Just don't say anything stupid, please, thought James. He looked behind Peter, and met eyes with his other friend. Sirius was looking cool and collected, totally composed as though he did this every day. A single look was all it took, and the two boys had agreed. Don't tell him anything.

Remus was studying his shoes as hard as he could, his breath catching like needles in his throat. Black clouds were starting to creep in around his vision, his heartbeats so fast and furious they were choking him. Even in his currant, sluggish state of mind he knew very well what was happening them to them. Guilty snakes were writhing in his stomach, wriggling and clenching his heart in their unforgiving coils. Oh, what had he done? It was all his fault, it was his idea, he should never have gone through with it…

As though pulled by wires, his eyes lifted and was met by the twinkling, sky-blue gaze of the Headmaster. He had trusted him. Dumbledore had trusted him, and now he would be taken out of the school, he knew it, could feel it coming.

Dumbledore was saying something, his voice an oceanic roar breaking over them. He wanted to cower on the floor, to sit down…nausea was creeping in over him…Sirius was saying something back…his loud words a cool wind…

James looked round at Sirius admiringly. He couldn't help it. In reply to Dumbledore's quiet question, Sirius had answered so flippantly even James was half-convinced. His dark eyes were over-the-top casual, not quite looking Dumbledore in the eye, but near enough, at his silver hairline. James held his breath. They might just get away with this…

Dumbledore waited in silence for Sirius to end his speech. Then he gazed quietly at each of them in turn. "Professor McGonagall," he said, his tone calm and deliberate, "Says she saw all four of you, ah, celebrating, shall we say? It seemed that not only did you find her situation amusing, but it also gave you great cause for triumph. Now why, I wonder, would that be?"

There was a beat of silence. "I don't remember celebrating, sir," said Sirius innocently, his fists clenching in panic, "Perhaps Professor McGonagall saw someone el -"

There was a loud thump behind them, and a gasp from Peter. James spun round, his eyes widening at the sight of Remus in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Merlin," he just heard Peter breathe, "He's fainted!"

From behind him, Dumbledore leapt to his feet with amazing agility for someone so old. In a flash he was kneeling beside Remus on the floor, and James, stunned, edged closer as well.

"Remus?" he whispered, reaching out to shake his friends shoulder, but Dumbledore stopped him.

"Remus will be fine, James. Now, could one of you please go and tell Madam Pomfry to expect a patient in her ward soon?" His tone was calm, but James caught the distinct edge of anxiety in his voice.

For a moment, all four of them simply stared at Remus, frozen with shock. Dumbledore looked round at them, frowning. "Sirius," he said, his eyes alighting on him, "Please go and alert Madam Pomfry that Remus Lupin will be coming to her very soon. Now." he added, when Sirius didn't move. Looking rather pale, Sirius gingerly stepped over Remus's limp form and headed out the door. James stayed where he was, staring at Remus's half-closed eyes. His mind was buzzing with shock.

"But…he was fine," he said, shaking his head, "He was fine this morning…a bit spaced out, yeah, but not really ill…"

"Do not worry, James. Although I'm no medic, I suspect Remus will be fine." Dumbledore was frowning into Remus's face, then turned round and looked up at a calendar on the wall, giving James time to look over Remus's face properly. He bit his lip. It was hard not to start worrying when your friend was lying so still, with such a pale face, barely breathing. Peter awkwardly shuffled closer, craning his neck over him.

"He was acting weird this morning," he announced, as Dumbledore withdrew his wand from his belt, "Remember, James? He kept staring off into space for ages."

"Yeah, I remember," mumbled James, watching as Dumbledore stood up, holding out his wand. "What are you going to do?" he asked the headmaster, "Levitate him there?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Fortunately I know a much quicker way of getting people from one place to another." With that, he moved his wand in a complicated spiral, muttered something under his breath, and flicked the wand.

James blinked. Remus was gone. Catching sight of his surprised expression, Dumbledore chuckled gently, but didn't explain further. "Both of you ought to be going to your lessons now," he said quietly, "Do not worry about Mr Lupin. I expect it is merely the humidity of my office that made him pass out so suddenly. That, and maybe, worrying about getting into trouble over something." His blue eyes twinkled as James jumped guiltily, then looked down at his feet. Dumbledore smiled, then ushered them to the door.

As they both trooped out, Dumbledore bent down to James's level. "And if I were you, James, I would be extra-obedient in Professor McGonagall's classes from now on. Just to be safe." He gave a small wink, and then shut the door. James stood staring for a moment, then dazedly followed Peter onto the staircase, deciding not to bother wondering how, or why. There was just no telling with Dumbledore.

Remus woke up to an all too familiar scene. His mouth tasted of orange, he was in a glaringly white bed, and he had an irate medi-witch standing over him.

"Well it's about time! I thought you'd wake up out of it yourself, but no, you just had to be troublesome." Madam Pomfry tutted loudly, shaking up her bottle of revival medicine before stowing it away out of sight. "How do you feel?" she queried, rubbing her hands down on her apron. Remus stared at her, then considered.

"Fine," he announced eventually. Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"Fine, he says! Fine, when you're as white as a sheet and you've been out cold for an hour. You boys!" she shook her head in disbelief, then trotted away in her flat, sensible shoes to fetch something from the other end of the ward. Biting his lip, Remus gingerly heaved himself upright. His limbs felt as heavy as lead. Grunting slightly, he pushed himself to his feet, then realised he was in pyjamas. Annoyed, he bent down to look for his clothes.

The world spun. Gasping, he put a hand on the bed to steady himself, just as Madam Pomfrey approached him, holding a clip-board. She looked stern. "And just where do you think you're going?" She snapped, pushing him back into bed, and Remus, suddenly too tired to protest, did what he was told.

"That's it. No more classes for you today, Mr Lupin. Your body's very fragile right now. Did you feel ill at all before you fainted?"

"What?" Remus sat bolt up-right. "I fainted?"

"You did. In the Headmaster's study. You gave your friends quite a fright. I had them all in here earlier, demanding to see you." She sniffed disapprovingly. Remus stared up at her, flutters of panic starting up in his stomach. He sank back into his pillow, letting Madam Pomfrey fuss over him. Inside, his stomach resembled a ball of clenched iron.

"What am I going to tell them?" he burst out suddenly, desperation overwhelming him. Madam Pomfrey halted, looking at him sympathetically. Remus looked away from her. He hated anyone feeling sympathetic for him.

"I'll make you a deal. You promise to come back to me the day before full moon every month, and I'll tell your friends you have a very bad flu virus. Is that agreed?"

Remus nodded, relaxing slightly at the thought of an excuse, yet at the same time feeling awful for needing to lie to them. Still, it was the only choice he had. It wasn't as though he could tell them the truth, for heavens sake.

He lay still, breathing shallowly. He was feeling weak and sickly, the way he always did before a full moon, yet at the same time his senses had heightened to alarming extents. He could smell Madam Pomfrey's scent of chemicals and soap lingering in the air where she had been moments before. He could hear her flicking through the pages of a book on the other end of the Hospital Wing. It made him want to clamp his hands over his ears and curl up in a ball; humans weren't meant to be able to hear, or smell things like that! It was unnatural!

Then again, when had he ever been natural?

Everything around him sounded as though he was in a long tunnel, echoing around his brain. He was feeling faint again, though he didn't know why. Footsteps were coming towards him, voices were ringing like bells in his ears…such familiar voices…

Remus snapped open his eyes. James, Sirius and Peter were all standing over him, staring down with concerned eyes.

"Remus," whispered Peter, as though he was addressing someone on their death-bed, "How d'you feel?"

Feeling exposed and oddly vulnerable, Remus stared back at them. He wished they would all look away. No, he wished they would all just go away! Why were they here?

"Remus?" James pulled a chair over and sat down, hands leaning on the bed, "Madam Pomfrey told us what happened. You have, erm, flu, right?"

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes dark. "Why didn't you tell us you were feeling ill, you daft git," he hissed angrily, "We would have taken you to the Hospital Wing!"

Still Remus couldn't speak. His heart was beating very fast, as he looked at them all, sitting there, by his bed. They could see him. They were looking at him, a creature about to be a slavering, howling wolf in twelve hours time.

Still they continued to speak to him as if he was ordinary, a regular human being with a flu virus.

James leant forwards, and Remus flinched away. He didn't seem to notice. "But guess what, Remus, thanks to you fainting, we all got away with it!" Seeing his blank look, James continued. "The prank! They were all so distracted with you they forgot all about us!"

"Well, apart from McGonagall," continued Sirius. He pulled a face. "Remember to keep out of her way, Remus. She's setting us three extra homework like there's no tomorrow."

"Two six foot essays!" wailed Peter suddenly, "And we didn't even do anything!"

"Well, apart from making her imitate pigs, of course," added James, grinning. He looked down at Remus. "When do you think you can get out of here, mate? Are you really sick?"

Remus drew a deep breath. "I'm not sure," he replied faintly, "Madam Pomfrey seems to think so."

"No, Madam Pomfrey knows so," came a sharp voice. The nurse came swooping into view, clutching a bottle. "It's time for you three to go," she told the other boys, her mouth a thin, stern line, "You've worn him out quite enough."

Remus looked at James. He didn't want them to go. But they were already standing up, hoisting bags over their shoulders, hastily getting out of Madam Pomfrey's eagle gaze. Sirius bent down and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "Hope you get better soon, mate," he said, winking at him. The irony of this statement was so strong it brought sudden tears to Remus's eyes, but he nodded and bid them goodbye in a normal voice as possible.

He would never be able to tell them, but suddenly he was over whelmed by a huge urge to tell Sirius that he would never be able to 'get better.' Biting down hard on his lip, he let Madam Pomfrey take his pulse and feel his forehead with her cool hands.

It was going to be a long day.

0o0

It was night time, and a cool breeze was whispering over James's hot face as he lay sideways on his bed, propped up by his elbow. His curtains were drawn all the way back, for once, and Sirius sat on the other end of his mattress. Peter was on the opposite bed, facing them, stuffing his face with sweets as usual. They had been up talking for a much longer time than usual, and they all knew why. Remus's empty bed sat in its usual place, duvet folded neatly down and the sheets pristine, yet they were devoid of any tawny haired boy. It didn't feel right to James. Remus was always there in his bed when they sat up talking at nights, not always joining in, but always solidly, comfortingly there. And now he wasn't.

And they didn't even have a real reason as to why he wasn't there.

Sirius stretched out his legs, toes poking James in the stomach. "Weird how he got sick, and none of us did. I mean, aren't these things supposed to be contagious? Have any of you been feeling, ahem," he adopted a falsetto-posh voice, "Under the weather?"

Peter slurped noisily on his jelly slugs, looking thoughtful. "Well," he said indistinctly, "I was sneezing a lot the other day in the dungeons, but I think that's cause sir was using all that unicorn horn powder." He took a slug out his mouth, examined it, then popped it back in to resume his loud sucking. Sirius snorted.

"That's hardly the same thing, is it? A sneeze and a faint, for crying out loud."

Peter shot him an injured look. "At least I'm trying to think of ideas! You're just being mean about them."

James twisted a corner of the duvet round his finger, staring off into the distance. Finally he heaved a huge sigh, then sat up straight. "Look, if Pomfrey says he has the flu then he has the flu. She's the healer."

At Peter's satisfied nod and Sirius's shrug, he added, "Come on, get off my bed Si. You're hogging all the room." Sirius stuck out his bottom lip.

"What you trying to say, James? Don't you want me here? Is that what it is? Well, you can just go away!" He sprang to his feet and marched across the room, waggling his hips. James closed his eyes against the hysterical giggles coming from Peter and pulled his duvet up over his face.

"And shut the window!" he mumbled as Sirius blew out the candles, shivering as the cool breeze blew stronger and colder.

"I'll do it!" offered Peter, leaping eagerly out of bed. James heard the floorboards creak as he walked across the room, then the soft whack of the window closing.

He opened his eyes. Peter was standing silhouetted against the glass, one hand on the window latch, gazing out at the grounds. "Hey, full moon," he said suddenly, craning his neck to look upwards. James looked as well. From where he was sitting, the moon looked a bright, silver coin in a jet black sea. "Big deal," he yawned, rolling over to bury his face in the pillow.

"Night," came Sirius's sleepy voice from the other side of the room.

"Night," mumbled James in reply, then closed his eyes.

Several kilometres away, under the protection of the Willow, Remus paced the shack, his wolfish face one long, terrible snarl.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hey there everyone. I've been away on holiday! Hope you all had a good Easter, or if you don't celebrate that, just a good holiday! I can't believe how many reviews I received! They seriously made me feel all…special and…happy and…stuff. Wow, I'm certainly being literate this evening….

So…you know what to do. Give me feedback! Was it good? Was it bad? Was it lacking that X factor? Then tell me! Just click on the review button and review!

Love and peace and Easter eggs and spring flowers to you all

Mooncheese xxx