Poppy Pomfrey was panicking. She hurried over her medicine store cupboard, flinging open the doors and looking inside. Her hands were shaking as they ran over the well-polished bottles she knew so well, but today she simply couldn't find what she was looking for. Giving a frustrated groan, she gave up and stepped back, running her trained, medi-witch's eyes over the labels.
"Sleep potion, dreamless, wakefulness, acne cures…oh come on!" she shouted at the shelves, and the blurry medicines blinked balefully back at her, "Where is anything when you need it?"
Footsteps outside. Poppy jerked her head up and looked round, before hurrying to the door. "Who's there!" she barked, unable to take any more shocks. She didn't think her system could handle it. "I warn you, I have a very sick patient and…Headmaster!" She stood still, kicking herself for sounding so abrupt as Albus Dumbledore came into the room, towering far above her own petite self. With a polite smile, he inclined his white haired head towards her, the usual sparkle in his blue eyes having faded. "I hope I haven't disturbed you, Poppy."
"Not at all!" Poppy managed to squeak out. For a moment she dithered, her eyes darting over to the figure lying motionless on one of her beds. "Well, I am sort of…dealing with an emergency, Headmaster, so I'm afraid…"
"Oh, please don't waste your time on me," Dumbledore held up a long-fingered hand, "Please, do all you can. I mustn't stop you."
With a grateful sigh and a murmured, "Thank you," Poppy sprang back into action. Back to that damned medicine cabinet. Her dark hair was starting to unravel from its tight bun and she clutched frantically at the loose strands, fretting for a moment Dumbledore would notice. How terrible, to be so disorganised in front of the Head! Thankfully, her eye happened to fall directly on the jar she required as she approached the cupboard, and she seized it thankfully before scurrying back to the bed. Her patient lay sprawled on the pristine white blankets, his usually pale features now the colour of ashes. Dumbledore had seated himself next to the boy, and looked on quietly as she quickly washed his forearm with soap and water, before filling a syringe and injecting him with the highest measure of the potion she dared give him. Only then did she allow herself to relax slightly.
"I have given him something to counter-act the poison in his blood," she said formally, though her voice trembled, "It is the most I can do for him right now. His body…" she swallowed, and busied herself with the dish of soapy water, "Is very weak at this time of the month. Nothing he can't survive, of course, but it's a nasty blow to his immune system." She started to drain the water slowly away, watching Dumbledore out the corner of her eye. He didn't appear to be looking at her, but had his head bent.
"What caused such a reaction?" His soft voice carried across the air between them. Poppy shivered slightly.
"Silver," she replied crisply. Or at least she hoped it to be crisp. "Undoubtedly silver. Nothing else could have caused such a severe reaction. His entire body went into shock, and he won't be waking up out of it for a while yet."
She carried the jar back to the cabinet, making a mental note of where she put it this time, and carefully shut the door behind her. Then she turned to look at Dumbledore, wiping her hands on her apron. His face was set into grave lines, and his head rested on inter-locked fingers as he gazed at Remus Lupin's sickened face. He seemed to be lost in thought. Poppy held her breath and walked quietly across the gleaming, hospital wing tiles until she was facing him across the other side of the bed. Together, they both stared at the boy.
Funny, Poppy thought, as she took in Lupin's tousled, light brown hair and sickly grey skin, he looks like such an ordinary boy. A rather ill boy at present, but still, normal. No-one would ever have guessed, just by looking at him…ever even suspected…she leaned forwards and lifted up one of his eyelids. Dull, empty blue iris's stared back at her, and she made a note of the pupil size before letting it drop again.
Dumbledore glanced up at her, and their eyes met. "What needs to be done?" he asked quietly, and she shrugged before remembering that it was a terrible habit and made her look horribly uncouth. She hastily changed it to a soothing shoulder roll.
"Well, bed rest, that's for certain. Absolutely no disturbances, even when he wakes up, for, I should say, about three days. And longer than that if he lets me have my way." She allowed a small smile to break through the professional mask. "Mr Lupin doesn't like being stuck in bed."
The headmaster didn't smile back. "I expect Messer's Potter, Black and Pettigrew will wish to see their friend, Poppy."
Poppy felt her smile vanish. "I'm sorry, Professor, but that simply isn't allowable. I can't risk any infection getting to him."
Dumbledore nodded, sighed, then stood up, casting a final glance back at the werewolf boy on the bed. "Do all you must for him, then. I shall drop by again soon." He turned to leave, and then stopped as though struck by a sudden thought. Turning his head to looked at her, he smiled, a twinkle sparking slightly once more in his eyes. "And you know, Poppy, it is perfectly permissible for you to call me 'Albus,' now. I get quite enough of the Professor part from the students. Good evening." And with that, he made a short bow and swept out the room, leaving quite as suddenly as he entered it.
Poppy stood staring at the doorway for a moment, then shook herself and hastened to close it. Having done this, she turned round and leaned heavily against the door.
"Well, I'll be blowed," she said out loud to herself, "If he's never mentioned that before. Five years ago he was still my teacher. 'Albus' indeed." She shook her head and trotted forwards, stopping in front of a mirror and began to re-pin her hair. When she was satisfied she exhaled loudly, staring about her immaculate hospital wing critically. Her eye fell on Remus Lupin.
"You'll be wanting these," she murmured, flicking her wand and putting up the curtains to hang around his bed, "Because I don't need anyone else seeing you like that…oh, apart from Professor Dumbledore of course." She began to walk off, when she stopped and smacked her head with her palm. "Albus, I mean. Albus. Of course." Still muttering to herself, she went back to the rest of her daily tasks.
0o0
"Why can't we see him?" James demanded, glaring at Dumbledore with all of his being, "That is so stupid! We're his friends, we have to visit him!"
"Quiet, Mr Potter, or I will have to send you out of my office." Dumbledore regarded him sternly from the other side of his desk, and James defiantly met his gaze. Inside he was seething. How dare Dumbledore say Remus was currently out of bounds to them? They had every right to know how he was! Suppressing a snort, he leant backwards in his chair, folding his arms and trying very hard not to swear. Dumbledore looked at him in silence. After a few seconds of just sitting there without saying anything, James felt his patience begin to wear thin again.
"Can't you at least tell me what's wrong with him?" he half shouted, incensed by Dumbledore's calm-as-always blue eyes. "You're sitting there telling me not to worry, yet you're not saying one real thing about Remus! How is that supposed to help me, how?" He didn't know when he'd ever felt so frustrated and worried at the same time before. If it wasn't the Headmaster he was speaking to he would have forced his way into the Hospital Wing by now, regardless of what ridiculous excuse Madam Pomfrey tried to buy him with. Dumbledore didn't seem to understand: the last time he'd seen one of his best friends was flat out on the common room floor, unconscious. And now he was just supposed to accept he wasn't allowed to see him? James cracked his knuckles in his lap, biting down hard on his lip to stop himself from saying anymore.
The office around him was quiet as always, but now the silence seemed to be pressing in on his ears and ringing round his brain. Dumbledore heaved a great sigh, then tapped a finger to his lower lip, eyes fixed thoughtfully on James.
"Mr Lupin," he began, weighing his words carefully, "Is in no condition to be seen at present."
James closed his eyes and counted slowly to five. He got to three. "Yes, I do believe we've covered that," he said sarcastically, "But what. Is. Wrong. With. Him?"
"I know you hate to hear this, James, but I am simply not qualified to tell you," Dumbledore replied quietly, and James stared at him, eyes bulging with suppressed rage.
"But you must know!" he snapped forcefully, "You can't honestly not know!"
"That is the truth, Mr Potter. Now," Dumbledore held up a hand to cut off James's cry of fury, "I summoned you here today to tell you what I have already mentioned. Remus Lupin is essentially fine, and will rejoin you in under a week. That is what I tell you, that is what you will accept." His eyes burned steadily into James's heated hazel ones. "Do I make myself understood?" His voice, though not angry, had such a final tone to it that James knew the discussion was over. Breathing deeply, he stood up, looking away from Dumbledore in disgust.
"Well, thank you. Very much." He stared at Dumbledore right in the eyes, and without another word he turned and strode out the office, banging the door behind him. Once outside he turned around, stuck up his middle finger at the door before running down the steps as fast as he could, wanting to get as far away as possible from the stupid fool who dared call himself Headmaster, and hence barrelled straight into Sirius who was waiting at the bottom, and knocked them both forcefully into a wall.
"Whoa, easy!" Sirius yelped indignantly, straightening himself out and running a hand through his hair, stopping halfway when he remembered he no longer had long hair. He took an exaggeratedly large step away from James, raising his eyebrows. "I like you as a mate, James, but I just don't swing that way…what's the matter?" he said, clocking James's expression, "What did he say?"
"What did he say?" James laughed harshly, glaring at the gargoyle as it slid noiselessly back into place, "What didn't he say?"
Sirius and Peter exchanged glances, but James couldn't be bothered to interpret them. He was feeling too angry to think properly. Walking over a wall, he started to bang his head on it, then stopped abruptly when he realised how much that hurt. Rubbing his forehead, he wheeled round and stared at his two friends with vacant eyes.
Sirius coughed mock-politely, waving a hand in front of his face. "Well, what didn't he say, then?" he asked pleasantly, cocking his head to one side, and James felt all the old anger surge back to him.
"Only that we can't see Remus," he spat furiously, "Only that we're not even allowed to know what's wrong with him."
Peter frowned, and Sirius sucked in his breath sharply. "He said that?" he asked disbelievingly, "That can't be right! Can it?" he added somewhat lamely. James nodded, distractedly biting one of his fingernails.
"Apparently, he's 'not qualified to tell us,'" he sneered loudly, half-hoping Dumbledore could hear him, "And that we should just 'accept that we can't see him.' What utter bull!" And he swung round and kicked the wall behind him. Sirius was staring at him, looking slightly confused.
"But…that's really…weird?" he said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, "Dumbledore would tell you what's wrong with him. I get the 'no seeing him thing,' but why not tell us what's the matter with him? What's the use in that?"
"Exactly!" James scowled at the gargoyle, who glared straight back at him. With a distracted sigh he said: "Come on, guys, we'll be late for Potions."
"We're always late for Potions anyway," mumbled Peter, but the pair of them sped up to keep pace with him anyway. James strode as fast as he could, eyes fixed on the middle distance, his ears still ringing with Dumbledore's last words. Unconsciously he bit into his bottom lip, the image of Remus floating without warning through his head.
"What if he's dying?" he asked suddenly, and Peter and Sirius looked round at him, startled. James carried on staring at the floor, remembering how Remus's body had gone so limp so quickly, the way he'd cried out with real pain and fear.
"Don't be stupid," said Sirius uneasily, "You shouldn't say things like that."
"But what if it's true?" asked James woodenly, starting to feel faintly sick, "What if that's the reason Dumbledore wouldn't tell me what's wrong with him?"
"Stop it!" said Sirius sharply, "You're over-reacting, James. We don't know why Remus collapsed; it was probably just an ordinary faint, for all we know! Merlin, he's done it before, hasn't he? Remember, in Dumbledore's office that time?"
James's mind spun for a moment before remembering, and he nodded slowly, not feeling at all reassured. "But he screamed," he said softly, the memory of it flying through his mind, "He really screamed…like he was hurt. And then he had a fucking fit, Sirius! And you're telling me that was an ordinary faint?"
Sirius gripped his hair for a moment, and closed his eyes. "I don't think that was a fit, James."
"Oh, and you're the healer now, are you?" James snapped back, "I'm telling you, his eyes rolled back into his head! He was in real pain!"
"You don't have to have a fit to do that," Sirius said acidly, "And will you quit having a go at me?"
"I'll stop having a go at you when you stop thinking you know everything!"
"What? When the hell did I say that?"
They all clattered down into the cold, clammy atmosphere of the dungeons, where a small group of people were gathered, waiting for their Potions lesson. James glared furiously at Sirius, wishing for the first time in his life that he didn't have any friends, they were such a trial to argue with constantly. However, just as he opened his mouth to retort with a stinging come-back, another voice answered for him.
"When hasn't there been a time you think you think you know everything, Black?" drawled a cool, vaguely sinister voice, and James wheeled round at once, thoroughly riled to see his arch-nemesis Snape leaning against a wall, surrounded by Slytherins and looking incredibly smug. He was watching him carefully, as though trying to figure him out.
"Keep your nose out, Snape, before I hex it off!" snarled James, his temper stretched to just about breaking point, and the Slytherin's eyes seemed to gleam. Straightening up and nodding to one of his companions, Snape walked over and faced James full on; lowering his voice so only he could hear.
"Why so tetchy, Potter?" Snape looked him up and down, then smirked. "Oh wait, I think I know. Could it be something to do with the fact your weak little friend fainted last night? Did he finally get a good look at you?"
James didn't even bother respond. Within two seconds he had ripped his wand out his robe and shouted the worst incantation he could think of, and the next moment Snape had doubled up, hands over his face and groaning. The crowd of his friends came forwards and pulled him away, glaring at James yet not one of them said a thing, and the knot of people gathered there broke out into a wave of mutterings. Trying to ignore them, James turned back to Sirius, breathing heavily.
"What were you saying?"
"Er…" Sirius craned his neck to look at Snape's retreating back, "You were saying I knew everything?"
"Oh yeah." James shook his head, and turned round to catch a glimpse of Snape as well. "Did I really just do that?"
"You did. What curse did you use?"
James frowned, then fingered his wand and stared at it, confused. "I can't actually remember," he replied, feeling totally baffled, "I just said the first thing that came into my head."
Peter's mouth was hanging open. "That was brilliant!" he enthused, looking rather star-struck, "What did he say to you, James?"
James felt himself swell with pride and triumph. "Little git found out about Remus," he said airily, rumpling his hair casually with one hand, "I had to give him what he deserved. You would have done the same." He said this without an ounce of conviction, and stuck his wand back in his pocket, feeling rather pleased with himself. Sirius was regarding him with a faintly amused look in his eyes, and just started to say something, when Professor Bones strode down the steps, robes billowing out with an air of confidence and superiority, as always. Sirius closed his mouth and turned away without saying a thing to follow her into the classroom, and James did the same, straining to remember exactly what spell he'd put on Snape.
As the crush of people gathered around the door, and James was jostled around by many people's elbows and knees, he caught a glimpse of cherry-red hair amongst all the brown and blond, and he turned his head automatically to see who owned such a bright mop of hair. He turned back almost at once when he realised it was no-one but Evans, though the patch of soft red lingered in the corner of his vision even when he focused on something else. Eager to get away from it, he gave an impatient shove to the person in front, who yelped indignantly and elbowed him back.
"Watch it!" he said brusquely, rubbing his stomach.
"You watch it," the girl in front of him retorted over her shoulder, and he sneered at her back but didn't say anything else, and waited until he finally filtered through the doorway, and got to his seat. Professor Bones was already waiting, perched on the edge of her desk as always, and peering over her glasses at her lesson plan for the day.
"Good morning class," she said briskly when they had all settled down behind their cauldrons, "Lovely to see you again. We will begin with registration, please answer when your name is called out…you know the drill. Right. Black, Sirius!"
"Here," came Sirius's voice from somewhere in front of James, and the registration went on. Bones paused when she got to Remus's name, and looked round the class.
"Is Mr. Lupin not with us today?" she asked, frowning slightly, "Does anyone know where he is?"
"No, Miss," James called out, "He's…ill." To his right, he noticed Evans sit up when he said this, and he glanced round at her, curious. She had one wrist balanced on the edge of her cauldron, and was looking at him, her brow creased questioningly. When they met eyes she hastily looked away, and James smirked and looked back to the front as well. His smirk grew larger when there was no reply for "Snape, Severus!" and no-one answered Bones's question as to where he was, though several people did glance rather unhelpfully round at him. Thankfully, Bones didn't notice.
The lesson seemed to drag by to James, but by the time an hour had gone past he was back outside again with Peter and Sirius, the beginning of a plan formed in his head. He waited until everyone in their class disappeared around the corner, then put his mouth close to Sirius's ear. "We have to see him," he muttered, "No matter what Dumbledore says, he might need us there." He leant backwards to look at Sirius's face to check he was getting all this. Sirius's dark eyes were confused.
"How?" he asked.
"Tonight…we'll go there tonight…" James nodded and widened his eyes a fraction, and Sirius nodded in sudden understanding.
"Tonight…with Madam Pomfrey out the way…" James nodded and winked at Peter, who was looking totally baffled, before walking casually away.
0o0
A single shaft of moonlight poured like silver water through the gap in the curtains, and pooled around Remus's face, coating his skin a milky white. Dark locks of hair rested on china-pale cheeks, his hands lay on the bed-spread, unmoving, yet the gentle rise and fall of his chest reassured anyone who might be watching that he was still alive.
James stood still and watched, anxiously pressing the folds of his cloak taut against his face, waiting for those empty eyes to flutter open, for that motionless body to sit up and speak to him, but the moment never came. The white knife of the moon only continued to caress Remus's skin lovingly, highlighting him, for the entire world to see as a sickly boy sleeping in a hospital wing.
Was he sleeping, though? He certainly wasn't dead…
A sharp elbow dug into his leg, accompanied by a knee kicking him in the back, and with a startled and incredibly un-manly squeak, James pitched forwards, ripping his cloak along with him.
"What d'you think you're doing, you bloody git!" he demanded in a whisper, hauling the cloak roughly back over his head. For the briefest of moments a hand appeared in mid-air, groping somewhere around James's face, then disappeared again.
"It's not my fault you stand still for so long!" Sirius's voice hissed in his ear, his body pushed up uncomfortably close to James, "You move over!"
"I have cramp!" Peter complained from somewhere around James's elbow, "Can't we take it off now?"
"No!" James tried to glare in the direction of Peter, but only succeeded in head-butting Sirius in the mouth, causing both of them to yelp in pain.
"Owww! James!"
"Shut up!"
Grabbing a fistful of cloak, James wiped his sweating brow with it, for it was getting uncomfortably hot under the cloak. He cast a nervous glance around, hoping against hope Madam Pomfrey couldn't hear them from her quarters, which he knew was situated deliberately next to the Hospital Wing.
"And quit breathing on me!" he added irritably to whichever of his friends was currently baking the back of his neck.
"Who, me?" Sirius sounded startled
"Whoever's breathing on me, stop it!"
"Oh, and I'm just supposed to stop breathing, now? Good one, James." Sirius added an extra heavy, hot breath of air into James's hair to underline his point.
"Try breathing somewhere else, you mutt!"
"And how am I supposed to do that?" demanded Sirius, "All I can see is the back of your friggin' head…"
"My back hurts!" added Peter, still from his low down position, "How did we get like this, anyway? We always used to fit under here!"
If it hadn't been so cramped, James would have smacked his hand to his forehead in despair. As it was, he snapped back: "One of you must be hogging the cloak!"
"Not me," came Sirius and Peter's voices in unison. "Must be you," added Sirius helpfully, and James, having finally found the end of his tether, reached upwards, seized a fistful of material, and yanked hard.
Peter and Sirius's flushed faces slid dimly into view, and all three of them immediately took a large step away from each other, gratefully gulping down the fresh air.
"Finally!" sighed Peter, kneading his knuckles into the small of his back, looking pained, "I thought I'd be stuck that way forever…" he stopped abruptly as the eerie silence of the Hospital Wing struck him, and he shuffled slightly closer to James again, voice faltering. James glanced round at Remus, hesitated, then reached out and pulled up a chair to sit on, staring at his face. For a long moment all three of them were silent.
"Is he sleeping?" Sirius's hushed voice spoke eventually. James shrugged, then leant right down to Remus's level and whispered in his ear.
"Remus…? Remus…?"
No reply. For all the world he could have been talking to a brick wall, as Remus continued to lie there, mouth slightly open and eyes very firmly shut, expressionless.
"Let me try." Sirius bent down as well, cupped his hands around Remus's ears and put his mouth against his hands. "Oi! Remus! Wake up!" he all but hollered into his ear, and James reached out and pulled him back, glaring pointedly at him, then switched his gaze to Remus.
No response. "Ok, he is definitely not sleeping," said Sirius decisively, "No-one could possibly sleep through that."
"So he's out cold," murmured James, "Still out cold, even now…"
They were all silent for a moment, staring at their friends face, perplexed. James leant on the side of Remus's bed, staring at him, looking over him for any other tell-tale signs of illness, or injury, as best as he could in the dark. He was pale, no doubt about it, but Remus was naturally pale, so that was nothing. He was unconscious on a hospital wing bed for another thing, to state the obvious…
Then he saw it. Somewhere along the line James's roving eye had fallen on Remus's right hand, and he sucked in his breath sharply.
"Look at his hand. It's all bandaged up – like he's hurt it."
Out of the darkness, James could faintly make out Sirius bending down to examine the neat, white bandages as well. "I don't suppose we can take it off, can we?"
"Don't be daft." James snorted, "She'd notice in a shot. But think about it: why would Remus have bandages on his hand? That doesn't make any sense at all. He fainted. Had a fit…why would he…?"
He could almost taste Sirius and Peter's confusion. Peter stepped forwards to crane his neck at it as well.
"Maybe he hurt it before he fainted, and we never noticed," he shrugged, reaching out to finger the material, "Maybe…"
But whatever Peter was going to say next, James never found out, for at that precise moment footsteps tapped outside, and they all heard Madam Pomfrey's voice calling out. The three of them froze, terrified, only able to stare helplessly at each other, then Sirius snatched up the cloak and flung it over them.
Just in time.
"Who's here?" Madam Pomfrey called shrilly, bursting into the Hospital Wing in pink flannel pyjamas, armed with a candle, "Whoever you are, get out at once!"
James held his breath as she came forwards towards Remus, her face, lit weirdly from underneath, lined with slight fear and worry. Briefly she checked his pulse, then wheeled around and stared straight at them. With Peter and Sirius pressed up with him once more, James stood literally rooted to the spot, his heart thudding frantically. Don't walk forwards, don't walk forwards…
Looking puzzled, Madam Pomfrey took a step forwards. James could see her eyes running over everything in her infirmary. "Peeves?" she called uncertainly, pushing her hair back from her face. "Show yourself!"
No Peeves did reveal himself, and the frown on her face deepened. "I could have sworn…" she muttered to herself, then marched over to her cupboard and flung it open.
James took that as his cue to run, and reaching backwards he pulled Peter and Sirius with him, and altogether the three of them managed to shuffle as quietly as possible out of the Hospital Wing, leaving an incredibly bewildered Madam Pomfrey behind them.
"That was close," Sirius's voice buzzed in his ear the second they were clear. "Almost too close." His voice sounded as though he wanted to laugh, though James couldn't see anything at all funny about it. All he wanted to do was get back to bed, and mull over the bandages on Remus's hand. Walking awkwardly along and ignoring Peter and Sirius's quiet argument, James thought. He knew when something was going on. He just couldn't for the life of him figure out what.
0o0
Voices were crashing over him like waves, throwing his battered body onto yet more rocks, more sharp, unforgiving edges of pain. The wolf tried to snarl and fend off the hungry predators that were coming for him, but he couldn't move. His limbs were locked into place, he was coated in a thick gauze which he could neither break nor see through. Giving up, the wolf let the waves drift him along, no longer attempting to fight the irresistible bands of blackness that were closing around him. He couldn't see. He couldn't feel. He couldn't sense much at all…
One thing he could see, however. Through the gauze he could see the bright, silver orb of the moon frowning down heavily at him. Though he didn't know why, just seeing the harsh silver made the wolf want to curl up and whine desperately for help, perhaps for his mother. Though he knew no-one would ever come. No-one could ever come between him and the dangerous threat of the moon bearing down on his life, and no-one could ever take it away.
The wolf and the moon were one…he was rocking violently on the water which he couldn't swim in. He wanted the voices to pull him out, but not one could ever do that. It was impossible. The moon was shining in his eyes. The moon had a hold on him forever.
Remus and the moon were one.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Oh dear. Well, in case you hadn't gathered, that last bit was Remus in his delirious state there, hearing James and Sirius…in case you thought I'd gone off onto another story entirely. Well, what did you think, guys? James, Sirius and Peter are drawing that tiny bit closer to The Truth. Sorry almost none of this chapter was from Remus's POV, but he was a tiny bit absent….
Thank you SO MUCH for all my reviews. They just kept coming! Almost every day there was yet another review. And thanks a lot for all my reviews for my one shot 'Something Unpredictable.' I was stunned at how many I got for that as well.
Must dash. Review thank-you's will posted tomorrow.
Love and fluff,
Mooncheese xxxxx