Yes, she knew she was. But she wasn't the only one.

"No." She whispered shaking her head, forcing a smile. "No." She repeated softly. "Rinoa is that person. She's waiting for you." She told him firmly, pulling her hands away. Squall sighed, maybe he had been wrong. Maybe this was all just a figment of his imagination. Why did he feel so strongly that she hadn't been telling him the truth, then?

She gave him a small smile, "Don't look so sad." The blonde whispered. "Rinoa.. she's a wonderful person." And she was, but the bitter facts kept coming back to slap her in the face. No matter how hard she tried, she could never compete with the other girl. So she had given up back there on the beach; because maybe then she realized it was easier than having to know that even in the end she wouldn't have been picked anyways. She wouldn't have had to face rejection again, wouldn't have had to face the pain of knowing that even though Rinoa had appeared just months earlier, when she had been there his whole life she still would gotten picked second.

That she'd always be second best.

Rinoa could also give him so many things she couldn't. If it had come down to it, would she have been strong enough to go through the wasteland like she had? Would she have quit half way through and given up? She didn't know, but she couldn't promise him forever if she wasn't sure she could keep it. Even if deep down, she knew she could.

"Come on," She told him, trying to force away the painful facts. Like always. "Cheer up." It didn't help any; and yet again her self conscious bit at her telling her only Rinoa could change him.

His brain wasn't processing facts fast enough to keep up with his mind. Only a select few managed to register, and even then it would never be enough. Would it really have been so bad if he didn't remember? Was it really worth the pain if he did even remember? What if all he had to remember was bad? He looked at her; she was hurting. He may not have known anything else, but at least that much he did know. He'd try, if only to ease his guilty conscience about her. Slowly, he nodded.

But he never showed a smile. The fact alone made her heart drop, but she ignored it. She was getting rather used to ignoring feelings these days. She stood up and sat beside him. "Can you tell me what you do remember?"

He sighed, smoothing his hair back. "You." He said quietly.

She bowed her head, feeling guilty. As much as had thought she had wanted that answer, in the end she hadn't. "Nothing about the garden, or growing up?"

The brunette shook his head and she let out a small sigh. "Alright, let me tell you then." She gave him a small smile, because at the time that was really the only thing she could do. "You, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Seifer and I grew up in an orphanage near an ocean. Matron and Cid lived with us, too, along with Ellone but she left later on."

She watched him; Ellone didn't seem to trigger anything so she left it alone. "You always were a hand full, you know."

"Always?" He asked, with an eyebrow lifted.

"There might have been a few times when you weren't." She joked, or at least tried. As if the teasing would some how add some light to the situation. It didn't work.

She found herself wishing Rinoa was there. Sure, she had put up a strong facade, but it was only matter of a time before it broke. If Rinoa was here and if she worked miracles like she had before, this would be easy for her. Because Squall and Rinoa had their happily ever after romance... until now. And somewhere deep inside it felt like she was the evil witch the was sent to try and rip them apart and make their lives miserable. ...But she wasn't. She wasn't trying to destroy everything they had worked for. She wanted him to be happy.

And that's why it hurt so bad. To know that she had sat there and watched him walk away, all the while knowing he would always be happier with someone else. The someone else that was never her.

"Do you know why Seifer and I never got along?" She looked up, startled for a moment before finally getting the question to register in her mind.

"Not really. I think you two were just rivals from the start. It seemed like anything could spark a fight between you two." The fact that Rinoa and Seifer had had a fling going hadn't helped the friction any either. If anything, it was what caused the rivalry.

"Everyone else you got along with eventually. It took you a while to warm up to people for a while there." She said quietly. Took him a while to warm up. Period. "You've changed a lot."

He nodded, although not having a clue to what she was talking about. He had no clue what anyone was talking about lately. The brunette leaned back and collected his thoughts silently before looking up.

"Do you know how we met?"

She blinked for a moment, and he decided that he had better specify the question better. "...How Rinoa and I met?"

Oh, she should have expected that. Really, she should have, but she had other things on her mind. Like trying to distract herself from the painful realization that she was basically stuck in between a rock and a hard place. And situations like these, were never, ever win win. She sighed, it was times like there she wished there was a huge rock to hide under, but as usual; there was none.

She was beginning to hate questions at his point. Really hate questions, but she was here for a reason... which was to basically answer questions. She hated her job at the times like this, and she hated herself for being so weak; for feeling like wilted flower when ever the subject Rinoa came up.

The blonde sighed. Pitying herself wouldn't help the situation any. She sat up and put her hands in her lap. "Well, you were sent to aid the Timber Owls, and Rinoa was leader of them. I doubt you two hit it off that bat at first but you warmed up to her a lot during that time, and eventually you fell for her." Okay, now let's repeat that four times for both of us to understand, Trepe. She told herself dryly.

Squall nodded, slowly. "Does she know..?"

"Know what?" She asked, confused. What was he going on about now?

"That I can't... remember anything?"

She paused a moment. Did she ...? They must have told her by now, right? "I'm not sure... I'd imagine they would have told her by now."

"What do you think she's doing right now...?"

"Probably worrying and being concerned. Scared." The blonde said quietly, looking at the clock. The feelings between both women were definitely mutual. "I'm sure she wants to be here with you." She sighed, taking a shaky breath. "I can give you a choice. If you could, would you go back to her, to your friends.. your life?"

She could arrange it. She had the travel papers, files... It would better that way if he left wasn't it? Rinoa would be able to fix him, make him perfect. In all the ways she couldn't. Truth be told, she wasn't getting anywhere with him here. He was confused and hurt, and being here wasn't helping either of their situations. Because between both of them the only thing they were going to each other was hurting each other. Emotions can cause so much confusion and pain, and the tension between them was just making things worse. Besides, what could she do for him, really? Other than try and answer his questions and try to ease his mind? In this department, she found herself utterly useless. Why try when she knew Rinoa could do her job so much better...? He'd remember, they'd fall in love again and she'd again realize she'd let him go for the final time.

Did he? He forced the thought out of his mind. Surely he did. Whatever he was feeling, it was confusion, infatuation or lust but not love. He had someone waiting for him back home, but didn't he also have someone waiting for him here, too...? Even though she had denied it, it had eventually clicked that she was trying to push him away for his own good. But this was insane, was he really give everything he supposedly had back there for someone he wasn't even sure cared? Was it really worth the risk? And if he eventually remembered, would he ever forgive himself for letting Rinoa go?

If he remembered. The thought seemed to echo in his head. And if he didn't remember? What did he have left for himself? Shadows of words everyone had told him about himself? What was he, himself without memories? Nothing. Virtually empty, except for her. It seemed the only salvation he had left was her... Besides for her, there was nothing to hold onto. Nothing.

And when she was to leave, because nothing lasts forever, what would happen to him? Would he become an old hermit, live in the shadows and solitude and be alone? ...He didn't want to be alone. That much he knew. But then who did he want to be with, then? The one he left behind or the one who let him go?

So many questions, and he wanted so many answers. If he had so much going for him back there, then why did he find himself not wanting to go back? Rinoa... she sounded nice, but... was she really the one he wanted? What if he went back to her, and then realized it wasn't her he wanted? He shook his head. No, he wasn't going to deal with this now.

He was going to deal with it when he came along to it. And right now, the only one he wanted was Quistis. "No." He finally answered her question, she looked up surprised.

"What?" She asked, confused. What the hell was he saying? Did he even know what he was saying? "Do you even know what you're giving up by saying that?!" She found herself hurt and angry at the same time. After all, he didn't know. He had friends, a job, a lover, a life. If he stayed here, she could give him nothing.

He sighed. "I know what I'd lose if I went."

Her brain was going about a thousand miles per hour, and yet wasn't thinking a single coherent thought. She couldn't do this. He didn't need her, he needed Rinoa. And she definitely wasn't Rinoa. "But you don't know what you're loosing if you stay." She whispered, getting up and leaving.

"Quistis? Quistis! Dammit!"

But she was already gone, down the stairs to the lobby and the phone. The inn keeper watched as punched in a number and slouched against the wall and listened for the dial tone. Finally, the phone on the end picked up. And she knew it was Matron off the bat. "I can't do it, Matron. I can't do this anymore. Tell Rinoa he needs her, she needs to come here." She took a shaky breath. "I'm going home."

Eh. To be frank, I don't like this story very much anymore; but I'll finish it. ...It's starting to kind of look like a wall of text, isn't it? As usual, thank you all for your support and reviews. I appreciate it very much.